Chapter 9 Sirsha
Sirsha
Sirsha was a hundred miles and three days south of Jibaut before she allowed herself to stop. The sky had been flat and gray all day, but it deepened to black now. Evening approached. The road was muddy from rain and hard to see, and she was bleeding freezing.
She didn’t think she was being pursued, but she wasn’t sure. She’d kept off the roads and away from towns and didn’t know if Kade was dead or alive.
Alive, she told herself as she hunched in her cloak. He had a pulse when Sirsha realized what she’d done. She made sure of it before grabbing her pack, donning her hood, and running for the stables. She shouted at his servants to help him before fleeing into the night.
Skies, she couldn’t believe she’d attacked him. She was only thirteen when she’d met Kade, another lost child betrayed by his elders. Through the years, he’d been one of the few people who seemed to care about her.
He sold you out to R’zwana, a practical voice reminded her.
Still, he’d apologized for it, and Sirsha didn’t hold grudges.
He’d fed her, listened to her, refilled her pack, tried to help.
And she repaid him by attempting murder.
It didn’t matter that Div had manipulated Sirsha into it.
All that mattered was that Kade might be dead.
He’s not dead. He was still breathing. He’ll get through. Kade was on his own now. Sirsha had an Ankanese seer to hunt down and a monster to outwit.
She glanced at the road behind her, empty and dark.
Forested hills rose up on either side of her and distantly, some night creature chittered, no doubt seeking shelter from the cold.
In the Empire, it would be late summer, the peak of warmth, but in the Southern Continent the seasons were reversed.
The weather was only going to get colder as she headed south.
If she was even supposed to go south. She needed to find Dolbra and question her about Div and the book.
Try to extract any knowledge that might help Sirsha kill the creature.
All while not getting killed herself. The Durani’s insistence back in Jibaut that Sirsha was a “vessel” for Div indicated that for Div to kill and destroy at will, she needed to take over Sirsha’s body.
Kade hadn’t told Sirsha what town Dolbra was last seen in. But Sirsha was an Inashi scenter and one of the strongest in her Kin. If she could access her magic, even briefly, she could suss out which direction to go.
At Kade’s house, she’d spoken to the earth without feeling Div leeching her willpower and tainting her magic. But Div had appeared only moments later. The use of magic drew the creature’s attention. Sirsha would have to be quick.
She found shelter in a small clearing at the base of a hill. After she’d tended to her mount and wrapped a second cloak around herself, she tried and failed to make a fire.
“Getting hungry, are we?” Div appeared as Sirsha cursed the damp wood and useless flint. The creature shivered ostentatiously in her Raani’s robes. “Pity you won’t let me help you, little witch. I could kindle a flame. Bring you food.”
Her voice was gentle as a mother’s caress.
Sirsha ignored her, too tired and cold to spar with the creature tonight.
But it was more difficult than it had been.
Div pushed against Sirsha’s willpower. And she did not have an infinite supply.
Some part of her wanted to give up. To give in.
To rest. She shook it off. You’ll be chained to her then, she reminded herself. Nothing but a servant to her whims.
She’d already been through that with her people. Forced to carry out missions with her fellow Inashi and then getting cast out when she didn’t follow orders. She had no interest in being anyone’s thrall again.
Sirsha hummed to herself—focusing on the song instead of Div’s voice. She abandoned the wood and rifled through her pack, where Kade had stuffed a fair bit of food. After enjoying an oatcake, some hard cheese, and dried apples, she washed in a little spring nearby and wrapped herself up to sleep.
Or pretend to, anyway. She breathed deep, letting herself drift in a memory of Quil: once, on their way south to Ankana, she’d found him while he’d been soberly making his rounds and dragged him into the forest.
He’d looked over his shoulder worriedly. I really should make sure—
Shut up, she’d said, and pulled his lips to hers. Just minutes later, he had her back against a boulder, his breath shallow as she slid her hand down his hip.
Why are we always doing this with some skies-forsaken rock digging into our backs? she murmured in his ear.
You’d rather a bedroom?
Mmm, something more interesting. She’d caught his eye, her breath hitching at the heat in his gaze as he idly pulled free the ties at her waistband. A—a throne room, perhaps.
His low chuckle sent a thrill up her spine and she gasped as he ran his lips lightly across her throat. I could arrange that… he’d said.
When she reluctantly came out of the memory, Sirsha was alone in the clearing. Div’s presence had faded. Sirsha had no idea where Div went during these times. Asking would risk making a deal for the answer.
Last time when Sirsha reached for her magic, she’d held on to her Adah coin. Her tracking magic had felt clean—easy and familiar as it always was. So she reached for the coin again.
She held it for a long time but did not use her magic. Instead, she thought of everything she knew about Dolbra—which, admittedly, wasn’t much.
Only when she had an image of the seer in her mind did Sirsha call on her magic. The earth answered almost instantly, as if it had been waiting.
South, the earth said, the barest whisper in her mind. Beware.
Ever so briefly, Sirsha saw the trail in her mind’s eye, a golden filament snaking through the country south of her. She released her magic almost immediately. She’d touched it for no more than a second. She held her breath, waiting.
Div did not appear. But the weight of her regard stuck like cold mud on Sirsha’s skin. It was possible she didn’t know Sirsha was using her magic, but Sirsha thought that unlikely.
Perhaps she was simply choosing not to interfere. Maybe she wanted Sirsha to find Dolbra—and to face whatever it was the Durani had planned.
Dolbra’s trail led deep into Devan, through rolling fields of farmland that were occasionally broken by stands of oak and silver maple. In the west, the foothills of the Firan Mountain Range shimmered, purple with tangles of frost heather.
Sirsha had traveled this country before. There was only one large town in the area—Eltcia. She came upon it five days after leaving Jibaut and, though she was impatient, forced herself to wait until night to enter the town.
“She’s in the city center.” Div appeared after Sirsha stabled her horse at an inn on Eltcia’s outskirts. “You should avoid her, little witch. She has nasty plans for you.”
Sirsha frowned at Div. From what she could tell, the Duranis were dedicated to freeing Div. She should be frothing at the idea of Sirsha walking into their clutches.
“I’d think you’d have told her all about me by now,” Sirsha said.
“It is tiresome to repeat the same thing to you. I am bound to your will. I can tell her nothing unless you wish it.”
Div’s eyes dropped to the Adah coin, which Sirsha had unwittingly reached for. Div’s face grew strange. Hungry. Sirsha tucked the necklace away and Div chuckled.
“You tried to keep it from me, but I know what it is, little witch. A link to someone you love. But who? Kade, the friend you tried to murder?”
Sirsha’s heart thudded as she quickened her step. Div hadn’t overheard Sirsha telling Kade her story. Thank the skies.
For months, Sirsha had wondered how much Div had gleaned about her life.
The creature knew of Sirsha’s mother and sister but had never taken the form of her old friend Loli Temba.
She knew Sirsha’s family had cast her out of Jaduna lands, but she hadn’t tormented Sirsha about why.
Div knew that Kade was a friend but seemed unaware of Quil.
She had a sense of Sirsha’s inner life. But not the whole of it. And that might be Sirsha’s salvation.
“No one gave it to me,” Sirsha said of her Adah coin. Not a lie, as the creature was good at detecting them, but not the entire truth.
Div shrugged. “Keep your secrets if you wish.” She nodded ahead of them to a nearby glow of lights. “There,” she said. “The central market. Dolbra is preaching in the northern corner. Her followers infest these streets.”
“Don’t pretend like you aren’t thrilled about it,” Sirsha said. “If they catch me, they can perpetrate whatever horrid ritual they have planned, and you can have free will.”
Div scoffed. “I cannot be contained in a human body. You know this. You have seen my true form.”
Sirsha thought back to when Div killed J’yan, the boy who had been her Adah growing up. Div had manifested as a living, breathing warp in the world, a wrongness to the natural order. One so potent that even remembering it made Sirsha’s insides curl in dread.
“If you don’t want a body, then tell me what you do want.” Sirsha had asked many times and didn’t expect a reply. But to her surprise, Div cocked her head, dark eyes reflecting the orange lamplight ahead.
“Perhaps it is not I who need something from you, little witch, but you who need something from me.”
The confidence in Div’s tone made the hair on the back of Sirsha’s neck rise. She shook off her unease. She was sick of Div’s riddles. If she wanted to learn the creature’s weaknesses, she’d have to get Dolbra to tell her.
The galaxy was a brilliant blaze of light above by the time Sirsha reached the night market, which was busy enough that she could linger and listen without many people noticing.
As she walked, she passed a fountain. A boy crouched beside it, crooning to a mother cat, and Sirsha was suddenly remembering another fountain. Another boy.