Chapter 1 #2
“I am too.” He smiled. “I think I’ll go home and tell Ian that his daddy made everyone proud today, tomorrow, whatever the fuck it is.
Genevieve will be happy that she’s no longer on twenty-four-hour baby duty.
We’ve come to the conclusion that there’s a reason God gives children to young people.
When that baby lays down to take a nap, I need one too. ”
Trevor chuckled. “Yeah, I remember those days…and nights…and days.” He suddenly missed his children.
They usually talked on Sundays, but he’d been called into the office by USSOCOM late Saturday night.
He hadn’t made it home to do more than catch a few hours’ sleep, shower, and put on a clean uniform before returning to his office.
Helping General Lyon decide on a single strike, then dividing the list between all the services, had taken days.
No one in history had ever tried such a bold move.
And it fucking worked.
While the world press was busy concentrating on the evacuations at the capital, Kabul, and focusing on the politics, hundreds of special operators were fulfilling promises made by those wearing boots on the ground.
As Trevor walked out of the conference room his gaze swept the office. The building was old, built in the nineteen forties. But it had good bones. It had served his SEAL predecessors well for over fifty years.
Heading toward his office, he could see Marta sitting behind two large computer screens, typing away.
She ran the office like a well-trained squad.
She should. She’d probably sat in every desk in the large room.
Trevor knew she’d worked there for nearly thirty years, even before her husband had been killed in action.
The closer he got, the more guilty he felt. He needed to apologize to her again.
“Ms. Merkel, may I see you in my office?” Trevor asked as he passed her desk. He couldn’t look at her. He was afraid he’d see the horror in her crystalline blue eyes because he’d kissed her. It had been extremely inappropriate of him.
“Yes, sir.” She stood and grabbed a pen and the ever-present spiral tablet she used for taking notes.
Stepping into his office he was unsure where he should position himself for this conversation.
Behind his desk seemed so formal since they usually sat and discussed most matters in the casual seating area off to the side.
But the soft comfortable chairs separated by a lamp table and a coffee table in front of them was exactly that, casual and comfortable.
The conversation he needed to have with her was neither.
He heard the door close behind him as he stood between the two areas still undecided.
She moved toward what he thought of as her chair.
“Marta,” he called out hoping to stop her. Maybe they should talk standing up facing each other.
She continued toward her seat and sat down. She crossed her legs at the knee, placed the open spiral tablet on her raised thigh, and poised the pen as though ready to write.
Fuck. She had great legs. Strong and muscular from surfing several mornings a week. He also knew she did yoga at sunrise on the beach most days. That probably accounted for her very toned arms.
“Sir?” Her voice was urgent as though she’d tried to get his attention several times. She quickly stood setting her pad and pen on the coffee table. She took a careful step toward him, concern evident in her voice. “Admiral Maddox? Are you okay?”
He was about to give her the standard answer of yes, I’m fine, but then realized it was a lie. “No. I’m not okay.”
Grabbing his elbow, she tried to guide him toward the overstuffed chair. “Why don’t you sit down? You’ve been through a lot in the last week.”
He held his ground. “And I’ve told you many times, it’s okay for you to call me Trevor when we’re alone.
” Although she’d never done it. Even socially when he was out of his uniform, she’d always called him Admiral, his rank, not his name.
Did she only see him as the stars he wore on his shoulders or collars?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She had continued to be professional and here he was looking at her magnificent legs.
He stepped away from her grip on his elbow.
“Ms. Merkel, I called you in here to speak with you privately and apologize once again for…” Christ. He couldn’t even say the word kiss. “My behavior was completely inappropriate. I never should have hugged you.”
He swallowed deeply around the lump that was growing in his throat. Man-up Maddox. Admit when you’re wrong. “And I sure as hell never should have kissed you. I want to apologize to you again.”
She cocked her head to one side. “Did you enjoy that kiss?”
Fuck. Is this a trick question?
She raised one eyebrow. “Don’t you dare lie to me.”
He hesitated.
She stepped in closer until they were only inches apart. “Trevor, it’s just you and me in this room. Since your door is closed, no one is going to dare walk in without knocking and waiting for your permission. Tell me the truth. If I weren’t your administrative assistant what would your answer be?”
He looked down into silver blue eyes but couldn’t read anything beyond the questions. Did he dare tell her the truth?
He hadn’t kissed a woman on the lips since the day his wife died.
It had been over five years, and he missed holding a woman in his arms, luscious curves pressed against him.
Their brief brushing of lips made him want more.
He longed for feminine company. Someone to talk to over a meal they had made together rather than the frozen box he took from the refrigerator and heated in the microwave, eating alone while he watched historical documentaries.
And his body had sure as hell taken notice. He was pleased that his cock had reacted.
He wanted what he had for twenty-five years with Carol.
Trevor couldn’t tell Marta the truth.
“But, Ms. Merkel, therein lies the problem. You are my administrative assistant. I depend more on you than anyone else. I can’t afford to lose you.” He took a step backward and realized he was breathing hard. “Please accept my apology for hugging and kissing you. You have every right to report me.”
She stepped over to the coffee table and picked up her pad and paper.
“Don’t worry, I have no desire to ruin your career.
Besides, if I report you, I’d have to report myself.
I too, was caught up in the excitement of Dylan’s successful mission.
” She looked directly into his eyes. “I’m not going to apologize for hugging and kissing you. ”
She invaded his personal space then went up on her toes and brushed her lips across his. “I’m going to thank you.” She turned and walked to the door.
With her hand on the doorknob, her back to him, she whispered, “Thank you. It’s been a damn long time since a man held me and kissed me.”
Trevor stood frozen in place watching the door close.
He couldn’t follow her out…not sporting a hard on.
What the hell am I going to do?