Chapter 34 Nico
NICO
Someone put flowers beside Georgie’s bench.
Not Shay—she always brings carnations. Maybe it was someone in Noelle’s family, or maybe it was a stranger, or—
“It was my dad,” Este says, noticing the question on my face. “He loves tulips. He says they’re happy flowers.”
She crouches and opens the tote bag she brought, pulling out a tied bunch of bright red poppies, hand-tied with a blue ribbon.
“You remembered,” I say, and she smiles up at me.
“Of course I did. And I figured a little hope wouldn’t go amiss.”
She’s silent as she touches the bench for a moment before brushing off her knees, and she stands up. “It’s beautiful, Nico. What an incredible way to honor her.”
I tug her into my side. “Thank you, angel.”
She peers up at me, uncertainty in her eyes. “Does being here make you feel sad because you miss Georgie, or happy because you feel close to her?”
It should be a simple question, but I’m pretty new to acknowledging my own feelings, and most of the time, they’re just a jumbled mishmash. “Both, I guess. Why?”
Este fidgets with her necklace. “You said we needed to talk. I’m trying to figure out if you brought me here to talk because it already makes you sad, and that means you don’t have to make sad memories somewhere else when you try to end things with me.
Or if you brought me here because you wanted to share somewhere special to you when you tell me you don’t want to end things. ”
The more time I spend with her, the more I understand why she needs help to switch off. Her brain is a wonderful place, and yet there’s always something whirring around in there. No wonder she’s so exhausted all the time.
“What I’m getting from this is that I should’ve specified I didn’t mean talking about ending things.”
She blows out a long breath. “It would’ve been nice. I’ve been stressing.”
“I’m sorry, angel.” I step toward the bench, tugging her with me until we’re both sitting down, the soft sounds of the reservoir splashing in the background.
“For the record, I was never planning on letting you end things,” she says with a shrug. “But it’s good to know I don’t have to worry about it.”
I bring her hand to my face and brush my lips over her palm.
“I wanted to talk to you about the opposite, actually. To see how you feel about staying here. With me.” The words come out a little disjointed. Not because I don’t mean them wholeheartedly, but because I’m not used to asking for things I really want. Things I really care about.
“Nico,” she breathes. Her expression is gentle, and I’m scared to think about it too much because what if this means she’s letting me down gently? What if this means I have this all wrong?
She traces the curve of my lips with her thumb and smiles. “Of course I’m staying. Why would I want to be anywhere else in the world when you’re here?”
Everything around us goes silent as I process what she’s saying. She’s staying. In Wintermore. With me.
“You… I… You really mean it?”
“I really do. I already hired someone to pack up my apartment so I don’t have to go back to Chicago to do it.”
She’s thought about this. She’s planned for this.
Hell, of course she has. This is Este. When she wants something, she makes it happen.
“What about work? Your options are a lot more limited here than they would be in Chicago.” I know she could easily find something remote, but I don’t want her to settle for something just because she has to.
“I was going to talk to you about that today, actually. Ari called me this morning while you were in the shower. They’ve offered to take me up in their plane a couple times a week, every week, until I feel confident enough to fly on my own.
If all goes to plan, they’re hoping I’ll be able to take the second pilot job officially before the busy season.
Rora called them and vouched for me. Said I was worth it, even though she’s only spent a few hours with me. ”
Her voice shakes a little, but her face is the picture of resolve. I could burst, I’m so proud of her.
“This is… God, Este. Look at how far you’ve come.”
“Thanks to you. You know, this was never what I imagined I’d be doing with my life, but it feels so right. These mountains have given me so much, and I want to share that with people—the mountains, not you. I’m keeping you for myself.” I don’t think anything has ever sounded as nice as that.
“So, you and me. We’re… we’re going to do this? For real?”
“We’re already doing it,” she answers with a laugh that feels like breathing. “There hasn’t been an end date on this for a while.”
It all seems too good to be true. She seems too good to be true. But this is really happening.
“You staying isn’t the only thing I wanted to talk about. Although it’s all related, I guess,” I say, and she gestures for me to go on. But I pause for a moment, trying to get my thoughts in order. “Sorry, I want to get this right.”
“Take your time.”
“I’m really, really happy you’re staying,” I say, finally. It still doesn’t sound entirely real. “But I’m also conscious that I don’t want you to wake up in a year, five, ten, and realize you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life by doing so.”
Her face falls. “What? Nico, I—”
“Hear me out. You’re doing so well, angel.
You’ve come so far since we met, between therapy, your dads, your job.
Baby, you’re flying. That’s huge. And you’re going to keep healing and doing better, and I refuse to be the thing that holds you back.
So, I’m not going to be. I promise you, I’m going to get better.
I’m going to be better.” Her brows knit together.
Shit, I’m doing a terrible job of explaining myself.
“I’m going to find a therapist and stick to it, even when it’s hard.
I’m going to be a better brother to Shay, a better friend to your dad, and a good partner who actually communicates.
We won’t hide away in the cabin—we’ll come to town to spend time with people and go to family dinner.
I know it’s going to be a lot of work, and based on how badly I’ve handled shit over the past two decades, you might not believe I’m going to do it, but I promise, I’m going to prove I can be worthy of you. I can be the kind of man you deserve.”
Este holds my hand between hers, squeezing.
“I need you to listen really closely to me, okay? I want us to do all of those things, yes. I want us to heal and actually live a life together, and we’re going to.
But you don’t have to do anything to be “worthy” of me.
You don’t have to earn anyone’s love, least of all mine. It’s already yours. I’m already yours.”
My breath catches in my throat, and I don’t realize my eyes are filled with tears until Este blurs a little. She sits up on her knees so she can hold my face, pressing her nose to mine.
“I love you, Nico. Exactly as you are now, and however you are in a year, five, ten.”
She loves me. She really loves me. It wasn’t just a scared declaration when she thought I was going to die. Este loves me.
I slide my shaking hands into her hair, holding her as close as I can. “I love you so much, Este. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
She smiles against my lips. “Just think, we get a whole lifetime of new best things now. Together.”
Together. What a beautiful word.
Este settles in my lap, and we watch the breeze rippling over the reservoir, listening to the birds and the rustling trees. It’s really too cold to be out here, but it’s peaceful.
“Do you believe everything happens for a reason?” I ask, and she looks up at me, a knowing glint in her eyes.
“No. I don’t believe Georgie had to die, and we had to go through everything we did just so we would end up here together. But I do believe the universe throws us a bone sometimes, and it’s up to us to catch it. And we’re catching it, Nico. Together.”
That we are. “I think this is what Georgie would’ve wanted for me. She would’ve really loved you—after she kicked my ass for the age gap, obviously.”
“I would’ve liked to have seen that,” Este says with a laugh. “I wish I’d gotten to meet her. But I’m looking forward to it being easier for you to talk about her, so I can get to know her through you.”
Georgie would want me to talk about her. She would want us to smile and laugh and share the good things as well as the bad. “I’d like that,” I say.
Este’s smile flips, and she frowns up at the sky, touching her face. “Is that… Is that snow? Again?”
The sky above us is thick with clouds, and the air is bitter. I feel the snow against my cheek and chuckle. “It sure is.”
“Are you kidding me? It’s fucking May.” Este shakes her head, and I wrap her as tightly as I can in my one good arm.
“Welcome to Wintermore, angel,” I say as she snuggles into me. “Welcome home.”