Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
Carter
I’m gonna fucking kill him. Track him down and rip him limb from limb.
The bathroom door clicks as it closes, and I pick up my phone, heading out of our bedroom. I need someone with connections that won’t say a word to anyone. Michaelson is one of the security guards for the team and used to work for the NYPD. Surely, he can help me out.
I find his number in my contacts, and he picks up on the fourth ring.
“Carter? You never call me. What’s going on?”
“I’ll explain later, but I need your help.” I peer over my shoulder, making sure I’m still alone. “I need a security detail put on River. Know anyone?”
“Do you even know who you’re talking to right now? Do you want me to arrange it for you?” he asks.
“Please. Oh, and this stays between us, yeah?”
The line goes silent for a few seconds, and I pull my phone away from my ear, glancing down at the screen to see if we’re still connected.
“I’ll go ahead and connect with my guy, Deisel,” he says. “But I’ll expect that explanation.”
“Thanks, man. I promise you’ll get one.”
We hang up, and I hang my head in defeat. I have no one to blame but myself for this. I was late, and because I was late, I wasn’t here to protect her. I feel so helpless, like everything is slipping through my fingers. That son of a bitch came into our home and hurt my fucking wife.
Memories of the past come back to haunt me. I wasn’t there to protect my sister, either. And just like I felt helpless then, I feel helpless now. I know River’s strong, but I feel like she’s not processing fully.
She’s gone from one extreme to another. From being scared out of her mind to basically saying she doesn’t care anymore. I promised her I wouldn’t do this—psychoanalyze her—but I can’t help it right now.
Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms.
Emotional Overmodulation.
I squeeze my eyes tight, trying so hard to block out diagnoses.
I’m afraid she’s been scared for so long that her brain is trying to overcorrect.
What if this causes her to detach from fear altogether?
She’s gonna put herself in danger or get herself killed.
Maybe I’m an asshole for going behind her back, but so be it.
I’m not taking the chance of losing her.
Leaning to the side, I peek up the stairs, then walk back into the living room and call Cal.
“Hey, man,” he answers.
“I gotta make this quick. Is Aspen there?”
All this conniving is making me sick, but I feel like I don’t have any other choice. It has to be done. If not for her safety, then for my own peace of mind.
“Yeah. Want me to put you on speaker?”
“Please.”
“What’s going on?” Aspen’s voice comes from the other end of the call.
I fill them both in on everything, then tell them, “I need her at all away games. Just tell her you need her there or something.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to protect her,” Aspen says. “But she’s going to kick your ass if she finds out you went behind her back.”
“Aspen,” I pause, chewing on my words. I don’t know what else to do.
I feel like this is my only option. Releasing a sigh I continue, “I understand where you’re coming from, I really do, but you didn’t see how she reacted.
Her eyes were blank, and she basically told me she didn’t give a fuck anymore.
I need to make sure she’s safe. If I tell her what I’m doing, she’ll fight me, and I’ll likely give into her.
I’ll take the consequences; they’re better than the alternatives. ”
“Your funeral, man,” Cal says.
“Better mine than hers.”
What if she didn’t get away? What if I didn’t train her well enough? What if today, she got lucky?
“Well, I have another phone call to make. Thanks, guys.”
“Take care of her, Carter,” Aspen calls out.
“You know I will.”
I end the call, then hit the app for our building to call down to Nigel.
“Mr. Graham. I’m sorry again for everything that’s happened today. I assure you that we’re taking measures to tighten up our security.”
“Thank you,” I say, toeing my shoe against the marble floor. “Is there any way I can speak to Brian?”
“Sure. Just one moment, sir.”
My feet shuffle back and forth as I pace the entryway, listening to elevator music. God, today was so fucked. As much as I need eyes on River, I need eyes on Jaxon too. I should’ve thought to ask Daniel about that.
“Brian speaking.”
“Brian, this is Carter Graham. I wanted to thank you again for taking care of my wife.”
“Sir, it was no problem at all.”
Wait. This guy is in security too. I wonder if he would know anyone.
“You wouldn’t happen to have contact with any private investigators, would you?”
“No, sir. I’m sorry I don’t, but I’ll check around. Let me make some calls, and I’ll touch base with you in a couple of hours.”
“Thanks, man,” I say, making my way to the couch. “And thanks again for taking care of River.”
“You bet.”
Folding myself into the couch, I hang my head. What a shit day. A few minutes later, River emerges into the living room in nothing but my Jersey, her hair damp from a shower.
My brows narrow in confusion. “Um, baby. I—I don’t . . .”
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“I don’t think . . . I—I mean, damn, you look hot as fuck . . .” I lick my lips as my eyes trail down her toned legs. “But uh . . . I thought you still wanted me to take you out on our date.”
“I’ve changed my mind. Plus, aren’t you the one who said that every moment we spend together is a date?” she asks, straddling me and kissing my neck. “Right now, I really need my husband.”
She lifts my shirt up and pulls it over my head.
“You called me your husband.”
“I did.”
I trace my finger down her bruised cheek, the guilt of not being on time weighing heavy on me. “I should’ve been here. I’m so sorry, baby.”
“It’s not your fault.” River grabs my hand and presses it against her cheek. Leaning into my touch, she kisses my palm. “I need you.”
“Baby, you were just attacked.”
“Please. Make it go away. Distract me. Make me forget. Replace his touch the way you said you would. I need to feel your hands on my skin instead of his. It’s the only way I know how to deal right now.”
I look down and see her skin scrubbed raw. And that’s when I realize that she’s not only a survivor of domestic abuse. In their years married, he did so much more to her than hit her.
I lift my eyes back to hers, and dammit, what I see there crushes me.
“Please?” she asks again.
Swallowing the knot in my throat, I fist her hair at the base of her skull and tug.
Not too hard . . . just enough to give her what she needs and force her head back.
Her eyes light up. Because it’s me. My lips trace across her neck, kissing the red marks.
Lifting my head, I gaze into her eyes, wondering if this is okay.
“I love you, Carter, and I trust you.”
A gasp escapes my lips, and my heart squeezes.
“Say it again.”
“I love you,” she whispers against my lips. “And I trust you.”
After everything she’s been through, she trusts that I’d never hurt her, and I know that’s something not to be taken lightly.
I lift her up and carry her up the stairs to our room, kissing her the entire way.
She releases a pained grunt as the taste of copper hits my tongue.
I pull my head back to break our kiss, but she grabs my hair—keeping me in place—and kisses me harder as she grinds her bare pussy against me.
I can’t take another minute without being buried inside her. Spinning us around, I pin her back against the wall and pick at the fabric of my jersey. “This needs to go. Now.”
She crosses her arms and lifts the jersey over her head, tossing it to the ground. Holding her up with one arm under her ass, I undo my pants, pushing them down. I swallow her moans and rub my dick along her pussy, teasing her clit with my piercing.
“Mmm. Goddamn, you’re soaked for me.”
I sink into her in one smooth motion.
Fuck.
I thrust again, and my eyes roll to the back of my head. She feels so fucking incredible; I can’t get enough. Her pussy tightens around my cock and holy fuck.
“Wrap your hand around my throat,” she begs.
My hand glides up her body before my fingers wrap around her neck.
“More. I need you to give me more.”
I watch her face as my grip around her throat tightens. Her eyes close.
“Eyes on me, baby. I need to see you.”
They pop back open and, fuck, the way she’s looking at me . . . makes me thrust into her harder.
“That’s it, Carter. Don’t be gentle with me. I need you rough right now.”
As she pulses around me, I growl, “Attagirl. Fuck. I love the way your pussy milks my cock.”
“Oh, my god!” she cries out, and as an orgasm rips through her, mine follows close behind. We stand there for a few minutes; my forehead pressed to hers as we try to catch our breaths.
“Carter,” she says as she comes down.
“Yes, baby?” I lift my head and stare at her, smiling when I see her sated smile.
“We really need to use condoms until I get on birth control.”
I nearly drop her I’m so surprised by her words. “Shit. I’m sorry. I— I didn’t think.”
The thought of her getting pregnant didn’t even cross my mind. How fucking reckless of me. I wouldn’t mind having a baby with her down the road, but right now?
“No. I’m sorry. I meant to say something, but we got so caught up, I didn’t even think until after the fact.
I have an appointment in a few weeks, but we really need to be careful,” she says as I pull out of her and plant her feet on the ground.
“I’ll go buy another morning after pill tomorrow, the one I was going to take this evening was ruined. ”
Pulling up my pants, I nod in response, not knowing what to say to that.
Visions of her pregnant belly and her holding our baby in her arms dance in my head.
Something primal overtakes me. For some reason, even though I know it’s completely irrational with everything going on right now, the thought of having a child with her makes my heart fucking stutter.