Chapter 31
Thirty-One
River
“Oh man. It smells amazing in here,” Carter says, shaking Cal’s hand and slapping him on the back, the warm scent of garlic hitting us in the face.
“Cheat meal, brother. We got some pasta, homemade bread, and a little salad.”
Cal leads us through the foyer and into the living room just as Aspen appears from the kitchen in an oversized sweatshirt and her hair tied up in a knot. How does she always look so perfect even when she’s not trying? I swear she’s able to pull off just about anything.
“You’re late,” she says, pulling me into a quick hug.
“But we’re here. And I’m freaking starving to death, so I hope the food is ready,” I say, looking around the living room at the garland and twinkling lights, their Christmas tree decorated to perfection. “It’s so pretty in here.”
“Thank you. I really put Cal to work.”
“You did all this? Ever think about going into interior designs?” Carter asks with a sarcastic smirk.
Cal throws a middle finger in the air and shakes his head. “Nope. I think I’ll stick with hockey. That tree was a bitch. Come on, Carter, I’ll grab you a beer.”
Now normally, I have better manners, but I’m with my family, and all good manners are abandoned when I spot homemade garlic bread.
I make a beeline to the sink to wash my hands with Aspen’s gingerbread scented soap, then snatch up a slice of garlic bread, stuffing half of the buttery, garlic goodness into my mouth.
“Mmm. Oh my God, this is heavenly,” I say around a mouthful. “You know what would make this even better? Ranch dressing.”
I head over to her fridge and pull out the ranch, squirting it on the bread, then set the bottle on the table for dinner. I shove the rest of the piece into my mouth.
“Oh. That’s it. That hit the spot.” All three of them look at me like I have two heads as Aspen picks up the plate of bread and sets it on the table.
“What? I told you I’m starving.”
Aspen shakes her head. “That was disturbing, River . . . Ranch? On garlic bread? Really?”
I shrug and sit down at the table right in front of the lasagna. “You must not know what’s good.”
Carter settles in beside me and asks, “Where’s Tucker?”
Pulling out a chair, Cal glances over at Carter. “He’s staying the night with Elija.”
Reaching out, I dish out a heaping portion of lasagna, piling it onto my plate. Carter looks at me with wide eyes.
“There is no way you’re eating all of that.”
“Watch me. You’ve never had Aspen’s lasagna,” I say, digging in.
“So, what was up with the police the other day?” Cal asks. “You never did tell us why they pulled you out of practice.”
Carter and I look at each other, and he nods.
“They called me and asked me to come down to the police department to exonerate Carter. I was taken to the back and questioned. When I told them what happened, they acted like they didn’t believe a word I said.
Then when it was all over, they wouldn’t let me see Carter.
They were interrogating him like a criminal. ”
“The detective wanted more details about what happened the night of the attack. He may request security footage from you,” Carter says to Aspen before stabbing his fork into his salad and taking a bite.
“What? Why?” Aspen asks.
“He thought I was the one who attacked River, and that she was protecting me. Your security footage will clear me.”
Cal’s fork clinks loudly as he drops it to his plate. “That’s fucking bullshit.”
“Right?” I throw my hand out in exasperation.
“I’m actually glad they’re doing their fucking job, for once. I didn’t mind it so much,” Carter shrugs. “I think the detective on the case has something to prove, and whatever is eating at him will hopefully be the driving force to put Jaxon away.”
“Let’s talk about something else. Everything about this Jaxon situation pisses me off to no end. What’s been going on with y’all? Anything new?” I ask to change the subject.
I’m hoping Aspen has found out for sure that she’s pregnant and that’s the reason why she invited us to dinner. Wiping my mouth with my napkin, I watch as she and Cal glance at each other.
“We have some news,” Aspen says, rubbing up and down Cal’s arm.
Fucking finally. I’ve been waiting for this!
“You go ahead and tell them, Hotshot,” Aspen encourages.
Yes!
“I’m adopting Tucker,” he says, beaming. “Everything is already in motion. We’re just waiting for a court date.”
“Oh my god!” I jump up from my seat and race over to hug them both. “That’s incredible!”
Aspen stands, and I hold on to her, blinking fast, trying to keep the tears from spilling over, but it’s a miserable attempt. I know how much this means to all of them. We both wipe our eyes, and she releases me.
“That’s amazing. I’m so damn happy for you, brother,” Carter says, giving Cal a hug. “I would’ve brought cigars had I known we were gonna have news like this.”
“I have a couple,” Cal replies.
After dinner, we watch the guys as they grab their coats and head outside to smoke. Sitting patiently, I wait for the French doors to close behind them before I say anything to Aspen. She takes a drink of her water and gazes at me from over the glass.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice there was no alcohol in your drink at the club last week. Grenadine, Sprite and a Cherry? You know, you think you’re slick, and you might be able to get away with that with everyone else, but I’ve known you my entire life.”
Her lips curl into a smile. “I had to throw people off.”
“You mean throw Cal off. He doesn’t know, does he?” I whisper shout, even though they can’t hear me.
“No.”
I sigh and rub my temples. “You need to tell him.”
“You know it’s not that easy.”
It’s not. Cal lost his first wife and his baby five years ago. The trauma from that ripped him apart, and I’m sure she wants to be positive that the baby is okay before breaking the news to him.
“Look, sis. I’m gonna be real with you. You’re forcing him to miss out on all the firsts. The first doctor’s appointment. The first ultrasound. He deserves to have those things, especially after everything he’s been through. Don’t fucking do that to him. It’s not fair.”
She tilts her head and stares past me, mindlessly tracing her fingers along the rim of her glass. I can tell she’s thinking over what I just said.
“I want to get to the second trimester before telling him. What if something goes wrong?”
“What if it doesn’t, Aspen? I’m just saying . . . what you’re doing isn’t right. Cal is strong. I mean, shit, he handles your ass just fine.”
She wipes the corner of her eyes and laughs. “Yeah, he does.”
I move to the chair next to her and take her hand. “I love you, and that’s why I’m telling you right now that you are so wrong for this. I know you’re scared, but you need to do the right thing.”
Laying her head on my shoulder, she nods.
The food in my stomach begins to turn, and I can feel it moving up my esophagus.
Oh, God. I ate way too much. Way. Too. Much.
Jumping up from my seat, I hold a hand to my mouth and run to the bathroom.
I barely have time to close the door behind me and make it to the toilet before emptying my stomach.
What the fuck? Filling my plate that full was stupid.
Carter
Taking a seat on the patio chair, I pull my coat tighter around me as Cal sets an ashtray onto the table between our chairs, then turns to the propane heater.
A hiss, then several clicks fill the space as he turns it on.
Reaching back without looking, he hands me a cigar, a cigar cutter, and a lighter.
I cut the tip and light the end. As I inhale the thick smoke of the first drag, I begin to cough and choke, my eyes brimming up with tears.
I’m not one for smoking, but Tucker’s adoption is a cause for celebration.
I hand the lighter back to Cal, and he sits down in the chair next to me, cutting the tip, then flicking his thumb over the little wheel until fire catches to light his own cigar.
Glancing over to the door, he keeps his voice low as he says, “I think Aspen’s pregnant.”
My brows shoot up. “No shit? What makes you say that?”
He shrugs and gazes out over the expansive yard, deep in thought, watching the snow fall to the ground. “Well, aside from the fact that a full box of unopened tampons has been sitting under the sink for over two months . . . have you noticed her boobs?”
I chuckle. “Dude. I know where my eyes belong, and the only set of tits I care to look at are River’s.”
“Well, Aspen’s have gotten bigger, and she won’t let me touch them because she says they hurt. She’s moody as fuck,” he continues. “Cries for no goddamn reason. She’s been getting sick and craving weird shit.”
I ash the cigar into the ashtray, my brows tugging down into a frown, then I take another drag and blow out the smoke before asking, “Weird shit . . . like ranch dressing on fucking garlic bread?”
“Now, that was disturbing as hell.” He points at me with his cigar, shaking his head. “What is it with Okies and Ranch? Wait. You don’t think River’s pregnant, do you?”
“Nah. There’s no way she could be. She took a morning after pill a few weeks ago. Wouldn’t be mad if she was though.”
An ash tumbles onto my jeans, and I dust it off, then lean back and stretch out as the heater begins to kick in, taking the bite out of the cold air. We sit in silence for a while, Cal still lost in his thoughts.
“What if Aspen is pregnant and something goes wrong? I don’t know if I can go through that again.”
I turn my head toward him. “What if everything’s perfect, and instead of being excited about a new baby, you both spend more time being scared about a tragedy that may never even happen? You can’t live your life in fear, brother.”
“Yeah,” he sighs.
Snubbing out the cigar, I stand and clasp Cal’s shoulder. “Ask her to take a test. Now, it’s cold as fuck out here. You ready to head back inside?”
He stands and brings me in for a handshake, patting me on the back. “Yeah. Thanks for the talk. Oh, before we go back inside, I want to talk to you about something else.”
He moves to the heater, turning it off as I shove my hands into my pockets, waiting for him to speak.
“I know it’s a given with River, or whatever . . . and it’s a huge responsibility, but when this adoption goes through, I want to legally name you Tuck’s Godfather. I just . . . I want to make sure he’s taken care of if something were to ever happen to us.”
“Man, I’d be honored.” My chest swells with emotion, and the wind causes my eyes to sting. That’s what I’m gonna blame it on anyway.
“Thanks, brother.”
“I got you. Always, man,” I say. “You know I love that boy. Of course I’ll always be here to look out for him and guide him.”
He clasps my shoulder, and we head back inside. As we pass by Aspen, she recoils, wrinkling her nose. “Good God. You two fucking stink.”
Her face pales, then she holds her hand to her mouth, taking off into a sprint. I raise an eyebrow at Cal.
He shakes his head. “See what I’m talking about? Come on. I have some cologne in the spare bathroom.”
We make it halfway to the bathroom when we hear retching. I breathe in through my nose, trying not to think about what’s going on behind that closed door as I do everything I can to hold myself together.
Cal knocks on the door. “You okay in there, Angel?”
“There’s no Angel in here,” River groans back.
Cal and I trade a look, and I push him aside, forgetting all thoughts of the way my stomach was churning two seconds ago.
“Open the door, Kitten,” I call out.
“I’ll leave you to it.” Cal pats me on the back and moves around me, heading back down the hall.
The toilet flushes, and a few seconds later, the door opens. My eyes travel from the empty space in front of me down to the floor, finding River on her hands and knees. She releases the doorknob and crawls back across the bathroom floor, then leans her back against the tub.
Squatting down, I run my hand along her cheek and forehead, finding her skin to be cool. “What’s going on baby?”
“What does it look like, genius? I’m fucking sick,” she snaps, then starts crying. “I ate too much.”
Everything Cal said comes rushing back to me, and I stare at her in shock. My eyes travel down to her breasts. They don’t look any bigger, but she was complaining that I was hurting them the other day when we were training. Without thinking, I reach out and poke one.
“Ow! Fuck!” She bats my hand away. “What the hell is the matter with you, Carter?”
My breath catches in my throat. Standing, I reach out my hand and help her up, then guide her to the sink so she can rinse her mouth. Finding a washcloth, I wet it and run it over her face as she stands there with both hands braced on the counter.
“Come on. Let’s get you home.”
She takes the cloth from me and hangs it on the laundry basket to dry. “I need to help Aspen with the dishes.”
“Cal can help her. You don’t feel well. I want you to rest.”
The words I said not too long ago come back to bite me in the ass.
No matter how much I want to, I can’t take them back.
River doesn’t only think of herself; she thinks of everyone but herself.
I cradle her to my chest, feeling guilt that I know I should let go of.
That fight is long over, but somehow, I can’t help the sourness of it all still lingering in my gut.
I glance back at River as I take her hand and lead her out of the bathroom.
She’s been moody, and now she’s sick. She was complaining of her boobs hurting.
Eating weird shit. She’s tired. Everything Cal said about Aspen sinks to the forefront of my mind, and I can’t help but wonder if River might be pregnant.
There’s no way. But maybe we need to pick up a home pregnancy test on the way home.
You know . . . just in case. Now that I think about the possibility, I can’t help but to be hopeful, even if now isn’t the most opportune time with Jaxon on the loose.
She did say she wants us to live our life and not base it around him.
But is bringing a child into this when everything is so crazy smart? No, it’s not.
Fuck.
This entire situation has me fucked up. Maybe I’m getting a little bit ahead of myself, but I won’t rest easy until we get this all sorted out.