25. Chapter 25
Chapter 25
Chloe
I am not a cool, calm, and collected girlfriend. Thoughts of Dawson’s smile, his gorgeous brown hair, and his deep eyes flash in my mind. No matter how hard I focus on leading my fitness classes and working with my personal clients today, all I really want to do is hang out with Finn and Dawson. Between clients, I shoot him a quick text.
Me: We never said if texting was okay or not. If I’m coming on too strong, tell me. But how’d your day go? Was Finn a beast this morning from staying up later than normal last night?
Back in high school, Kate was obsessed with this guy Tad. She talked about him nonstop , always wanted to be with him, and played MASH a million times over, putting only Tad’s name as the marry options.
I’ve turned into Kate. At the time, I was so annoyed with my best friend. We got it. She loved Tad. He could do no wrong.
Now I want to sing Sound of Music style, complete with twirling in a field of wildflowers, about how much I like Dawson. How we’re dating. But I can’t. Mum’s the word, and keeping a secret has never been so freaking hard. I’m a delicate egg shell, and the tiniest force will break me. All Kate has to do is mention Dawson’s name, and like Humpty Dumpty, I will crack and spill everything.
My phone pings with a text.
Daw-Bear: He’s fine. I’m not though.
My stomach drops to the floor. What’s wrong? What happened to Dawson? We were with each other less than twenty-four hours ago. Did he change his mind about us? Is he sick? With shaky fingers, I respond.
Me: What’s going on? [sad face emoji]
Daw-Bear: This charming witch I know stole all my concentration. [witch emoji] I can’t sleep. I can’t work. All I do is stare at my computer screen with a crazy smile on my face. It’s a good thing I’m at home and not the office. Carter would fire me.
My cheeks grow warm and my lips pull into a grin.
Me: Yikes. Might need to go on a hunt and burn her at the stake. [witch emoji] [stop emoji]
Daw-Bear: Something’s burning, that’s for sure. [fire emoji] [heart emoji]
Me: Want me to feed the flame or put it out?
Daw-Bear: [shower emoji] I need to go. I’ll call you after Finn goes to bed tonight.
I snicker, loving how open he is about his feelings. My nerve endings hum. I’m grateful Dawson isn’t afraid to confirm he likes me and is attracted to me. The problem is, the more he talks like this, the more I want to kiss him.
Me: [kiss emoji] Hope the shower does the trick. [wink emoji]
“You seem chipper,” Kate says, lying on my couch, her legs draped over mine.
Don’t mention Dawson. Don’t mention Dawson. Don’t mention Dawson . “Mmhmm.”
She studies me, her eyes narrowing the slightest as she does so. “Is planning our company festival thrilling?”
If I don’t give her something, she’ll keep prying. I promised Dawson I wouldn’t be the one who told her outright. “Yes. It’s been a lot of fun. How’s work? Things slowed down yet?”
“Fine and no. But I’m used to the heavy workload.”
“And Carter?” How in the world am I going to tell Carter I’m dating one of his employees? Does he think Dawson’s a good guy? Will he approve? Carter’s opinion means a lot to me.
“Not really sure.” She shrugs. “For the first time in months, he’s worked from home this week. ”
“Bummer. Were you lonely at the office without him on Tuesday?”
“No,” she says, a bit too defensively. “Why would Carter working from home make me lonely? Besides, I’ve been hanging out with Boston more. He’s fun.”
Is he though? Honestly, anyone is better than Boston. “Oh. I didn’t know.”
She reaches over and boops my nose. “Now you do.”
“As an adult, would you have fun at a super tamed down version of Cornbelly’s?”
She shrugs. “Most likely. Why?”
“Because Dawson and I are planning a fall festival with games, food trucks, and other activities for the festival.”
She slaps her hands together. “That’s it!”
I flinch, startled at her sudden outburst. “What’s it?”
Leaning forward, she looks me right in the eye. “You’re happy because of Dawson. You like him! I knew you found him attractive when we all went to Carter’s for the football game.” A smug grin takes over her lips. She settles back into her relaxed position, folding her arms across her chest. “Tell me everything.”
Technically, she hasn’t guessed we’re together. I won’t say it, but I also won’t not say it, either. Hopefully, she picks up on my clues and comes to the conclusion on her own. I need my best friend to help me chill and not ruin this with Dawson. “We’ve spent a lot of time together recently, and the more I’m around him, the more I like.” I proceed to tell her all about pizza at The Pie, Finn’s game, the canyon mishap, dinner afterward, and Cornbelly’s.
“Are you going to ask him out? ”
Heat saturates my cheeks. Pushing her feet off my lap, I stand. “I believe my laundry is ready for me to switch it over.” I take one step.
Kate’s hands wrap around my arm, dragging me back to the couch.
“You are not getting out of this so easily.” She plops her feet right back onto my lap, pressing against my legs so I can’t move. “Have you kissed?”
“Not yet.” I slap a hand over my mouth, shaking my head. “I meant no. No, we haven’t.”
“Not yet!” she squeals. “But you want to?” She makes kissy faces at me.
Sorry, B. Kate has to know. I knock her feet off my lap again. “I’ll tell you if you stop making those noises.”
She mimes zipping her lips, nodding for me to continue.
“Yes, I want to kiss Dawson. I tried ignoring my feelings for him to protect him, Finn, and me, but it’s no use. I’ve never liked someone as much as I like him.” I suck in a deep breath. This next part is the hardest to say because I haven’t dated in such a long time. I don’t want Kate to push me, but at the same time, I need her support to help me when I freak out or worry I won’t be good enough. “We’re dating.”
She jumps on the couch, like Tom Cruise did on Oprah . “I knew you’d find love one day! I’m so happy for you, Chlo.”
“Whoa, woman!” I yank her down. “I didn’t say I loved him.” Though it won’t take long to get me there. Not if Dawson keeps being as sweet and fun to be around. If he sucks at kissing, it might sway me to only like him and never love him, but something tells me, based on our experience at Cornbelly’s, his kisses will set me on fire .
And I’m ready to burn.
She smooths her hair back in place. “Sorry. I got a little excited for a second there. When was your first date and why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“We’re going out—no.” I hold up a finger. “We’re staying in, but it will be our first date Saturday night after Finn goes to bed.”
“You two will be all alone in his house?” She looks at me like I have no self-control and won’t be able to restrain myself from undressing Dawson.
“Finn’s there.”
“ Sleeping. In a different room.”
“It’s our first date. You know I don’t kiss on the first date. And if there’s no kissing, there most definitely will not be anything else happening.”
“Rules are meant to be broken.”
My jaw drops open. “Why are you pushing the physical side of our relationship so hard?”
“Because you haven’t seriously dated in years. I’m worried you’ll take your sweet ol’ time like usual and Dawson will lose interest.”
My stomach hardens. “So you’re saying I’m not good enough to keep a guy around for long?” She’s right, but hearing it hurts.
Her eyes go wide and she sharply shakes her head. “No! Oh my goodness, I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I love kissing and know what you’re missing out on. I don’t want you to go another two years without experiencing the joy of a make-out session. But my likes don’t have to be yours. You are good enough, Chlo. You’re one of the best people I know. Forget I said anything.”
I can’t look at Kate. Not because of what she said. I’m well aware of how much she loves kissing guys. It’s because it requires me to be vulnerable, which is extremely difficult for me. Staring at the carpet that’s more brown in some spots than tan, I fist my shaky hands, placing them in my lap. It’s time to reveal the second thing I’m most scared to admit. “What if I mess up?” I whisper.
Kate’s hand lands on my shoulder. “Oh, sweetie. You will.”
I scoff. “Jeez, thanks for believing in me.”
“I’m not saying it’s because of who you are, or your past. It’s because we all have moments when we inadvertently do something to hurt the person we’re with. It’s owning up to your mistake, apologizing, and trying harder that makes a relationship work. If everyone ran the moment things got hard in a relationship, the human race would be extinct.”
“You know I’m not good at relationships.” I pushed too hard or didn’t invest enough into my previous boyfriends. Frankly, I was a mess. Either one extreme or another, all out of fear of being imperfect. “Remember Ricky, Samuel, Thomas, Cole, and Drake?”
“Wrong. You were too scared to truly give them a chance. We’ve been friends for far too long for the relationship comment to be true. You’re the bestest best friend a girl could ask for.”
I shoot her a dry look. “I’m pretty sure it’s because of your tenacity that we’re still friends.”
She flips her hair over her shoulder. “Duh, of course.” She rolls her eyes at me. “But it’s also because of you . You’re funny, loyal, hardworking, passionate, caring, and generous. Anyone you allow into your inner circle is lucky to be there.”
Tears pool in my eyes. Kate’s words sink into my heart, reassuring me that I am lovable. Capable of more than I give myself credit for. I reach over and give her a quick hug. “Thank you, Kate. Thank you for being my friend and not letting me push you away.”
“Psh.” She smacks my shoulder. “I should be thanking you for dealing with me. I’m not easy to be around.”
What!? That’s a straight-up lie. “Who said that?” Momma bear is about to come out. You don’t mess with my friend. “You’re an absolute delight.”
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. What we need to figure out is what you’re wearing Saturday night.”
“Easy. My Utah hoodie from college and black leggings.”
Her eyes bug out of her head. “Why in the world would you show up to your first date with Dawson looking like a frump?”
I hold back my laugh. Kate wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything older than two years. She’s too fashionable for that. “Because it will be late when I show up. We’re watching a movie and I want to be comfortable.”
She drags me from my living room down the hall to my bedroom. Throwing aside the sliding closet doors, she shuffles through my hangers. “I don’t care. We’ll find something cute, comfortable, and sexy. Dawson will beg for a kiss at the end of the night.”
The man has seen me vomiting. Since he still wants to be around me, I highly doubt he’ll care what I show up in. For now, I’ll appease Kate, but I won’t promise to wear what outfit she chooses for me. Saturday night, depending how I’m feeling, I’ll determine what to do.
Lying back on my bed with my hands behind my head, I cross one ankle over the other. “Don’t mind me. I’ll be here relaxing while you work your magic.”
“Better buckle up, princess. You’re going to slay this date.”
We’re watching a movie. How does one screw it up? “Thanks, darling. With your help, I’m sure I will.”