35. Chapter 35
Chapter 35
Chloe
The next few weeks fly by in a flurry of festival preparation, work, and spending as much time as possible with Dawson and Finn. I’m considering asking Dawson if I can move into the guest bedroom in his basement. I’m there almost every night anyway. Why keep paying rent on my place when every day we’re together solidifies the future I want with Dawson and Finn?
We’ve been way too busy for me to ask him though. Finn made a Fall Bucket List, and we’ve done our best to mark off each item. So far, we’ve watched Halloween movies, picked pumpkins at a local patch, decorated Dawson’s house, bought costumes, carved jack-o’-lanterns, and taken Sunday morning drives to Park City to see the leaves changing colors.
In a week and a half is the fall festival. We have a ton to do still, but I’m confident Dawson and I will pull off an appreciation festival to remember. We decided on the barn at This Is The Place. We’ll have plenty of space for activities inside and out.
Tomorrow we’re getting the items we need for the caramel apple station. Dawson’s garage is full of bales of hay, corn stalks, scarecrows, wreaths, garland, and more. We still need to assemble the thank-you gifts, paint signs for each station, pick up the pumpkins for bowling, buy the craft supplies for the thankful turkeys, get a shelf to display the books for the book nook, and test out the archery kit we bought online.
I’m driving home from work, talking to Kate (the only time we have to chat these days), catching up on both our busy lives.
“We’re swamped,” Kate complains. “Carter’s a mess. I have to work at the office so I can bring him breakfast and lunch or else he won’t eat anything. I’m not sure how long he stays at the office after I leave at seven. I’m worried about him. Can you talk to him?”
My gut goes tight like someone punched me. I’ve been a terrible sister. Yes, I see Carter at the football games, but we don’t have a lot of time to talk. Anytime I ask about work, he says it’s busy as usual. I’ve been too wrapped up in Dawson, Finn, and this festival. “I’ll check in on him. Thanks for letting me know. How’s Blah-blah-Boston?”
“Fine. I’m exhausted by the time I get home from work. We haven’t gone out in a while.”
As much as I don’t like Kate’s boyfriend, I’m sad she’s not happy when I am. “Oh, babe. I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you? I can make you a smoothie and drop it off later.” I pull into my driveway. The maple tree leaves in the front yard are bright red. I love the vibrant colors of the season.
“No, I have a massage scheduled tonight. My neck and shoulders are tight and if I don’t loosen ’em up, I won’t make our year-end deadlines.”
My phone beeps. “Oh, hey, Dawson’s calling. I’m waiting to hear if he picked up the pillows and blankets from the store for the reading nook. Can I call you back?”
“Sure thing. Love ya, babe.”
“Love you too!” I click the button on my phone to end my call with Kate and accept Dawson’s call.
“Hey!”
“007, I have a huge favor to ask of you,” Dawson says in a worried rush.
I stay in my car instead of getting out to head inside. “What’s going on?”
“I’m at the office today. Carter just asked to see me, but I need to leave right now to get Finn from school. My mom’s not picking up. Can you get him and hang out with him until I get home?”
This is a huge moment for us. Dawson asking me to spend time alone with Finn says he trusts me. Is comfortable with me looking after the person he loves most in the world.
“Absolutely. Do you mind if we head to the park for a bit? It’s a gorgeous day out. We’ll get started on homework after, I promise.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll text you when I’m headed home. Thank you, Chlo. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. ”
I grin. “After Finn’s in bed tonight, maybe you can show me.”
“Gladly.”
I pump my fist in the air. “I look forward to it. Good luck in your meeting.”
“Ha. Thanks. I need it.”
Wait… “Is everything okay at work? You don’t talk about it much.”
“I really have to go. We’ll catch up tonight. Bye, Chloe.”
“Bye.” I stare at my phone for a second. Did Dawson blow me off because I’m Carter’s sister and he doesn’t want to tell me or is he actually late for the meeting? I want Dawson to be able to talk to me about work stuff, but I understand why he doesn’t— if he’s doing it on purpose. Something I’ll figure out tonight. For now, it’s time to get Finn.
I’m standing outside what a few other parents told me are the third grade doors, waiting for the bell to ring. A slight breeze dances around me, stirring my ponytail hanging high on my head. A hint of dried leaves rustles across the blacktop. If someone were to ask me what a perfect fall day is like, it’s this moment.
The bell rings. Immediately, dozens of students rush out the double doors. I’m scanning the crowd for Finn’s brown hair and Pokémon backpack. Did I miss him? A girl with blond pigtails and pink bows in her hair comes out with Finn trailing right behind her .
“I’m not saying lizards are better than hamsters, but I wanted to enjoy holding my pet, and hamsters are softer,” says the blond girl.
“Nice.”
I smile. A rush of warmth fills my heart. I love this kid. “Finn!” I wave at him.
His eyes are as big as full moons. “Chloe!” He runs at me, throwing his arms around my stomach. “Dad didn’t tell me you were picking me up today!”
“Your dad got stuck in a work meeting. I have his approval to delay homework until after we play at the park.”
“Today keeps getting better and better!”
I rub my hand through his hair. “I’m glad you think so.” I start walking toward my car in the parking lot. “What should we have for dinner tonight? I was thinking of smoothies and stovetop popcorn.”
Finn wrinkles his nose. “Are you putting the green thingy in the smoothie again?”
I laugh. Finn’s grossed out by most of my recipes until he tries them. Seeing the vegetables I hide behind other flavors disgusts him. “Yes, I’m adding zucchini in again. It’s the green for our rainbow.”
“Fine. But I want strawberries in mine this time instead of peanut butter.”
“Deal. Do you want to watch a movie and help your dad and me put together the gift bags for the festival?”
We get to my car, Finn climbs in back and buckles in. “Can I just watch? Most of the festival stuff is boring.”
Actually, I’m okay that he doesn’t want to help with this task. The tags we’re putting around the bags might be hard for him to tie and we want the gifts to look professional. “Yeah, you can skip out this time.”
“Phew. How long until we get to the park?”
“Three minutes. Can you handle it?”
“Yeah, I can.”
I look at Finn in my rearview mirror. “Do you need to go to the bathroom? Should we stop at your house first?”
“Nope. I’m good.”
“Let’s get this park date started then.”
I navigate through the neighborhood until we’re at my favorite park by Dawson’s house. They have swings, a giant slide, climbing circles, and a teeter-totter. Finn jumps out of the car, rushing toward the slide.
“Wait up!” I call out, chasing after him.
Finn and I take turns going down the slide a few times, seeing who goes faster.
“Let’s swing,” I say.
We settle right next to each other on the black half-moon seats. My hips don’t love swings since my body fully matured, but they’re my favorite activity at a park, so I deal with the pain in favor of feeling like I’m flying. “When I was younger, my brother and I used to see who could jump the farthest off the swing. He always beat me.”
“Because he’s a boy?”
Harsh, dude. “Not at all. He’s taller and can jump farther.”
“I bet I can win too.”
Those are fighting words. “Hey, you’re stealing my line, little man. I’m the one who always makes bets. ”
Finn smiles at me. I must be rubbing off on him. Though out of all my qualities, I’m not sure betting people is the one I want him to have.
“Are you scared?” He taunts. “Come on. Let’s see who can do it.”
Man, he’s persuasive. “All right. Chill.”
“Do we jump at the same time?”
“Yes. You pump back and forth three times, then let go. Whoever lands farthest from the swing wins.”
“What do I get if I win?” Finns asks.
“I will read an extra chapter in Dog Man tonight. But if I win, you have to go to bed ten minutes early.” Yeah, that’s mean for a kid, but Dawson said he’d show me his appreciation, and the sooner Finn’s in his bedroom, the faster I get Dawson’s delicious lips on mine.
“No! I don’t want that.”
I shrug. “Then win and you won’t have to.” Though he doesn’t stand a chance against me.
“Let’s go.”
I count as we pump. On the third time forward, I say, “Jump!”
Flying through the air, I land with a hard thud on the wood chips a good ten feet from the swing set. For a half-second, tingles shoot throughout me. Yes, victory is mine!
I hear Finn’s feet smack into the ground, a sickening snap accompanying his landing.
He cries, “Aghhhhhhh! It hurts! It hurts!”
My stomach lurches up to my throat. Spinning, I run to his side. My pulse pounds in my ears. My hands shake. “What’s wrong? Where’s the pain coming from? ”
“My leg,” he screams.
“Take a deep breath. Let me look at it.”
Finn holds onto his shin, tears stream down his red cheeks.
Oh my heck, why did I agree to Finn’s bet? I hurt him. Dawson’s going to kill me. Finn’s ankle swells, a massive bruise already forming. Please let it be a sprain and not a fracture.
“Okay, bud, do you think you can stand on it? We need to get you home.” If we rest, elevate, ice, wrap it, and get him some pain meds, he might be okay.
“No, no. It hurts too much.”
Shoot. Maybe it is broken. What have I done? I can’t believe the first time Dawson asks me for help I screw up. “I’m going to pick you up and carry you to the car, okay?”
Finn doesn’t respond, just cries. My stomach is hollow. Tears sting my eyes and nose. I can NOT melt down right now. This is my fault and I have to fix it.
Squatting, I put one arm under Finn’s bent knees and one arm behind his back. Standing, my legs shake, but I keep a firm grip on the boy who occupies a good chunk of my heart. I’ve never been so grateful for my muscles than I am right now. Finn feels like he weighs five hundred pounds.
Staggering to the car, I get him buckled in the back seat, his injured foot resting on the middle console between the two front seats. I want to take him home and wait to hear from Dawson and see if he thinks we should go to Instant Care, but with the way Finn’s ankle looks, I’m not sure waiting is the best idea .
I’m a failure. And absolutely should not be allowed to have a family of my own.
I pull out my cell and call Kate, since I know Finn and Carter are unavailable. She answers on the second ring.
“Hey, babe. What did lover boy want?”
“Kate,” I say in a panicked rush. “What network is your insurance on?”
“That is the weirdest question.”
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “Finn and I were at the park. We jumped off the swings, but Finn landed wrong and hurt his ankle. Dawson’s in a meeting with Carter. I need to know what doctor’s office to take Finn to that won’t cost Dawson an arm and a leg.”
“Take him to Granger Medical on thirty-ninth. I’ll head back to the office and let Dawson know.”
“Thanks, Kate. You’re the best.”
“You’re welcome. But hey…”
I pull out of the parking lot. “Yeah?”
“This could have happened to anyone. This is not an indication you’re like your mom.”
Of course, she knows exactly what’s running through my mind. “I’ve got to go, Kate. I’ll call you later.”
“Remember that, Chloe!”
I hang up, focusing on driving a crying Finn to the doctor. I feel awful. “How are you holding up, Finn?”
“There’s a heartbeat in my foot.”
“I’m sure it’s a weird sensation. We’re almost to Instant Care. They’ll do an X-ray and make sure you’re up and running in no time.”
“Do I still have to go to bed early tonight? ”
I’m sure he’ll want to because of the pain, but I’d give him anything he wants right now. Guilt gnaws at me. I can’t shake the tightness in my chest. “We’ll worry about bedtime later, okay?”
We pull into the parking lot. I carry Finn into the office, settling him on a chair. “I’m going to check you in. I’ll be right back.”
“Hi,” the receptionist says. “How can I help you?”
“My friend hurt his ankle at the park. It’s swelling pretty bad and he can’t bear any weight on it. We need to get it checked out.”
“Oh no. Poor little one. If you’ll fill out this form, we’ll get him back as soon as possible. Do you have a copy of his insurance card I can scan?”
“I don’t. But his dad will be here soon with it.”
“Okay. Fill out what you can and I’ll let the doctor know he’s here.”
Reading the form, I fill in Finn’s name and birthday. I know where Dawson lives, but I’ve never paid attention to his house number, and I have no idea of Finn’s medical history. “Can I bring this back up in a few minutes?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.” I sit next to Finn. “Hey, bud. Do you know your address?”
His voice is tight as he tells me. “Are you allergic to anything?”
“Sport sunblock.”
I’m impressed Finn knows as much, but I doubt the doctor will be using sunscreen today. “Have you ever had surgery or stayed in a hospital? ”
“No.”
“Thanks.” I pat his knee then take the clipboard back to the front desk.
“It’ll be about twenty minutes. Just have a seat and we’ll call him back.”
Twenty minutes? He should be seen now. There’s only one other person in the waiting room, and they don’t look like they’re dying or in excruciating pain like Finn. “Thank you.”
I sit next to Finn again. “I’m going to text your dad, then you can play a game on my phone while we wait.”
He sniffles. “It hurts, Chloe.”
Every whimper, tear, and word Finn speaks is another sword of guilt stabbed into my chest. Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, I give him a squeeze. “I’m sorry.”
Me: Hey. Finn hurt his ankle at the park. We’re at Granger Medical on 39th. Can you meet us when your meeting is over?
Me: And I’m so sorry [cry face emoji]
I hand Finn my phone, letting him play whatever game he wants. Not that I have a lot of them downloaded, but it’s enough to distract him for a while. Twenty minutes later, a medical assistant opens the door leading to the exam room, calling Finn’s name.
Picking him up, I carry him to the room they assign us to.
“I’m going to get his vitals,” the medical assistant says.
Setting Finn on the exam table, I stay by his head, running my fingers through his hair, wanting to comfort him as much as possible. Or maybe touching him is more for my assurance that he’s okay. That my idiotic behavior didn’t cause him permanent physical or emotional damage.
“Everything looks good. The doctor will be in shortly.”
The second the door closes, Finn asks, “What will they do to me?”
“My guess is an X-ray and wrap it.”
His face scrunches up. “Do they hurt?”
I remember the pain when I broke my arm falling out of the oak tree in Grammy and Papa’s front yard when I was eleven. The technician kept forcing my arm to rest in different positions while they took images. It hurt. But Finn’s in enough pain as it is, I don’t want to worry him on top of it. “You’re going to be fine, bud.” At least, I really hope he will be. If his ankle is broken, trick-or-treating next week is going to suck for him.
A knock sounds on the door. The doctor pokes his head in, sees we’re waiting for him, and steps inside. He’s tall and slender with ashy blond hair. His smile is friendly. He seems young for a doctor. “Hey, Finn. I’m Dr. Adams. I understand you hurt your ankle?”
Finn nods. “I jumped off a swing, and it hurt really bad when I landed.”
“Let’s take a look.” Dr. Adams puts gloves on then feels around Finn’s ankle.
Finn cries out. “Ow!”
Dr. Adams takes the gloves off. “Let’s get an X-ray. I want to make sure it isn’t broken. The nurse will come and wheel you down in a few minutes. You can accompany him but won’t be allowed in the room.”
“Thank you, Dr. Adams. ”
“I’ll be back after we know more.”
He leaves the room. I check my phone to see if Dawson’s responded yet.
He hasn’t.
Forcing a cheery tone, I say, “I heard you talking to a girl when you came out of the school today. Are you wanting a pet?”
“Yeah, I want a dog. Addie was telling me about why she chose a hamster instead of a lizard.”
“Is Addie your friend?”
“I guess. She talks to me a lot.”
Of course she does. Finn’s a fun kid. “Do you like talking to her?”
“Sometimes.” He shrugs. “But not at recess. I want to play tag with my friends. Is my dad coming?”
“Do you remember my friend Kate? She helped pick apples last month.”
“Yeah.”
“She works with your dad. She went to tell him we’re here. I’m sure he’s on his way.” I want Dawson by my side as much as Finn does, but I’m also nervous to see him and tell him what I did to his son.
Because after this? I can’t be trusted around children.
Turns out, I’m just like Mom after all.