41. Chapter 41
Chapter 41
Chloe
Spinning, I look at everything Dawson and I accomplished with Kate’s help. The place looks amazing with the hay, scarecrows, leaves, and lights everywhere. The booths made out of wooden pallets look adorable with the hand-painted signs I made.
Blessedly, the rain stopped. The outdoor patio has a few round tables set up with white tablecloths, burlap runners, rustic wood rounds and fall-colored flowers in vases on top of the wood. The whole place is stunning. My fall vision came to life exactly as I imagined. It’s cute, festive, and family friendly.
“Wow,” Carter says, walking into the barn holding two gift bags in his hand. “Chloe, I knew you’d put together an amazing festival, but you’ve outdone yourself.”
This moment right here totally makes all of the sleepless nights worth it. For Carter to be proud of me is huge. We always look out for each other, but hearing a compliment from him (the man who isn’t one for talking) is as big as winning the lottery.
A massive weight I didn’t realize I’ve been carrying lifts. My shoulders sag, my smile brightens, and tears trickle down my cheeks. “Thank you, Carter. I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it.” Carter rubs a decorative leaf between his fingers. “I’m excited to get everyone here.”
Dawson and Finn come out of the reading corner and join us.
“Hey, boss,” Dawson says, greeting Carter.
“You and Chlo are a phenomenal team,” Carter says to Dawson. “This place is awesome.”
Dawson blows air in his cheeks. “Let’s just hope Creative Solutions agrees and this event keeps them happy for a while.”
I know Carter mentioned how much is riding on this event, but I didn’t realize Dawson is feeling stressed about it too. Is this why he volunteered to help in the first place? Either way, it doesn’t matter. We have thirty minutes until our guests arrive and our volunteers aren’t here yet. Sure, the place is cute, but none of it makes a difference without people to man our booths.
Checking my email on my phone, I don’t see any notification from either high school clubs saying their plans changed. They should be here by now. “I have one last thing to check up on. If you’ll excuse me.”
I step outside and call both club presidents and get nowhere. This is when having more than Kate as a friend would come in handy. There’s no way I can operate every activity on my own. Carter needs to mingle with his clients and employees. Dawson has Finn to worry about. Kate might be able to help, but two people is not enough.
Tears of exhaustion sting my eyes. My brain is mush. Who can I call to come help? Grammy and Papa are too old to stand for three hours. Sitting on the curb, I rest my elbows on my knees and my forehead on my hands.
“Hey,” Dawson says, sitting next to me. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
All day I’ve done my best to avoid being around him as much as possible. My heart can’t handle seeing him and not being able to touch him. Talking to him, but not really engaging. But I need him. I need the person who said he’d help throw this festival. I need the man who worked through every planning point with me. Who was my partner and made me better.
“We don’t have any volunteers. The high school kids are no-shows.”
“What? What should we do?”
I look at him, utterly exhausted and at my breaking point. “I have no idea.”
“Oh.” He rubs a hand through his hair. “Um, how many people do we need?”
I count on my fingers as I say, “One for the caramel apple station, one for the book nook, two for archery, one for ring toss, two for pumpkin bowling, two for the craft station, and one for pin the smile on the scarecrow. So, ten?”
“Let me call my family and see who can make it.”
I put my hands over my heart. “Really?” I say with too much hope. “You think they’ll come? ”
This request is super last minute. Even if people live close, they won’t make it before our guests start arriving. But events always have to be flexible. Including this one. Everyone will have to eat first and hopefully, by the time they’re done, Dawson’s family can get here.
“Hang tight.”
Dawson walks a few feet away, holding his cell up to his ear. I really hope I won’t need to tell Carter about our current fire. We’ve had enough of those already with the extra guests and bakery issue on top of me doing way too much for this festival on my own. Resting my head on my knees, I close my eyes.
Worst case scenario, people help themselves to each station. The prizes will get tricky for the games, but maybe people don’t win anything except bragging rights. If I return the prizes, it’ll make up for the bakery mishap. It’s an option if Dawson can’t pull through for us.
“I have good news and bad news,” Dawson says.
I look up into his handsome face. My heart thumps in my chest. Ignoring my organ, I stand. “What’s the bad news?”
“My parents are the only ones who will be here by the time we start.”
A couple is better than nothing, but won’t solve our problem completely. “And the good news?”
“Twelve more people will be here in an hour.”
My brain takes a minute to comprehend what he said. “Wait. You’re telling me with a few phone calls, you can get fourteen people here in sixty minutes?” I try not to dwell on how vastly different my life is compared to Dawson’s, but loneliness pricks at my chest. I had no one to contact. Dawson has oodles.
“My nearest sister and her husband are on their way. And it just so happens my oldest sister is with her husband’s family right now. Her in-laws agreed to watch all the grandkids so the adults can come help. I told them we’d feed them dinner. I hope we have enough food. If not, I’ll run grab them something now.”
I put my hands up. “Uh, no. No, we have plenty of food. Carter added an extra fifty people to the guest list yesterday. We ordered tons of pizza and the food trucks are aware of the additional guests.”
Dawson cocks his head to the side. “Where is the pizza food truck, and what do you mean Carter added fifty more people?”
Dawson is way out of the loop. “The pizza truck bailed because they double-booked themselves and somehow we got the short end of the stick. And yeah, Carter said he signed a new client and invited them to come tonight.”
“But we didn’t buy enough supplies for two hundred people.”
“Correct. We did not. But I did. Last night.”
Dawson rubs his palms up and down his face. “Chloe, I’m sorry I bailed. I should have insisted I keep helping you after Finn got hurt. Did you get any sleep last night?”
I waffle my hand in the air. “Two hours or so.”
“007, I—”
He says my nickname with worry and regret. I can’t do this right now. I’m too stressed, tired, wound up, and confused. I hold up a hand. “There’s no point feeling bad about everything right now. We have a festival to host.”
“Yes, we do. But at some point, can we talk?”
I nod. “Yeah. After I’ve slept and my head is in a good space.” If my emotions are as wound up as they are right now, when we talk I won’t be able to convey the depth of my apology. “I’m going to get changed and freshen up before everyone gets here.”
“Is there anything else I can do?”
“Whenever your family shows up, will you assign them activities to man?” And keep them away from me? I’m not sure how much his family knows about us besides Finn telling them I slept over that one night, but since we’re no longer a couple, or even friends, I can’t pretend I’m happy or excited to meet them.
“I can do that.”
“Thanks.” I walk away, heading inside to change into my jeans and flannel shirt and do my makeup. Once Dawson showed up, we worked fast and pulled everything together just in time. He saved our bacon with his family. We’re a good team. Not just at planning events, either. The almost two months we spent together were the happiest I’ve been. I can’t believe I screwed it up. I know Dawson and I need to talk. To get closure for our short-lived relationship, but just the thought of having the discussion clogs my throat with emotion. I don’t want us to be over. But I’m too scared to hurt Finn again to risk asking Dawson for another chance.
“Hey, babe,” Kate says, walking into the bathroom I’m using to get ready for the festival. “You look beautiful. ”
“Thank you. And thanks again for picking up the baked goods and pitching in to get the decorations up.”
“No problem.”
I turn to look at her. Though I’ve yet to see Kate in anything unflattering, tonight she’s wearing boyfriend jeans, a crimson shirt tucked into her pants, a blazer, and the cutest skinny belt. She’s a fashionista through and through.
“What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?” Kate asks.
“At this point? All I’m worried about is having enough energy to clean up the festival and drive myself home safely.”
She picks up my tube of lip stain, examining the color. “Lucky for you, I’m staying late to help. I’m sure Carter will too.”
I’m relieved I’ll have extra hands. My energy is zapped. I need caffeine and pain meds to get me through the rest of the night. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Now, tell me what you’re actually worried about. I saw the way you’ve avoided Dawson as much as possible.”
I lean against the counter, folding my arms across my chest. “I haven’t avoided him. We’ve been busy decorating.”
Her head cocks to one side, her chin drops, and one eyebrow rises. “Really?”
I shrug and nod.
“You’re a terrible liar, Chlo.”
I throw my arms out to the side. “All right, fine! Every time I see Dawson or Finn, I’m reminded of the mistake I made. How I messed up my relationship with the one guy I pictured a future with. I’m a failure and I hurt Finn, just like my mom hurt Carter and me. I am her, Kate. I knew I shouldn’t have asked Dawson on a date, but I let myself chase after my dream and we all turned to ash in the process. I’m back to being single for life.”
Kate takes my hand in hers, squeezing it with comfort and reassurance. “I never met your mom, Chlo, but you have one of the biggest hearts of everyone I’ve ever met. You are not her. There’s no addiction, no terrible boyfriend influencing you. You are in control of your life. Not your mom. Please stop letting your mom’s mistakes shut everyone out of your life. You can have Dawson and Finn, but only if you stop running every time there’s a mistake. Finn’s a kid. He could have gotten hurt with Dawson, at school, playing football.
“Face your fear and go all in. I’m here and there’s not much you can do to make me go away. From the way Dawson’s gazed longingly at you today, I’m pretty sure he’s there for you too. Same with Carter and your grandparents. We love you, Chloe, but it’s time for you to choose what it is you want, not what you want to avoid.”
I face myself in the mirror, staring at my eyes. My sadness and worries reflect back at me. I’ve lived the past twenty years guarding my heart. Doing my best to keep myself safe. How do I snap my fingers and just let this go? “I don’t know how.”
Kate’s eyes lock with mine in the mirror. Her smile says she has a secret. “Actually, Chlo, you do. I witnessed how happy you were a few short weeks ago. Whatever you were doing when you and Dawson were officially dating? That’s what you need to do again. ”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t me. It was Dawson. He made it easy to be around him and Finn. He listened when I talked and we bonded over my mom being the worst and his ex leaving their child. We didn’t do much but hang out and plan this festival.”
“That’s my point. You took it one day at a time doing life together. Talk to Dawson, then forgive yourself and move on.”
Kate’s words sink deep into my soul. Life without Dawson and Finn is miserable. I’ve cried way too much the last week and a half, and the hole in my chest constantly aches. When we were together, I was scared, but I jumped right in and didn’t regret my decision until Finn got hurt. But as Kate said, Finn’s a kid. This won’t be his last injury, and I want to be there for him during his next one.
Yes, fear and worry are there, but so are hope and happiness.
I can do this. One baby step at a time. “You’re right. I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life and I do need to focus on what’s happening now and not what happened in the past. But not tonight.”
Kate bumps her shoulder into mine. “I’ve yet to steer you wrong, babe.”
Tears sting my eyes. I blink rapidly. There’s no time for tears or fixing my mascara. “Thank you for being my friend, Kate. I love you.”
“Aw.” She pulls me into a hug. “I love you too.”
We break apart, smiling and laughing at each other.
“Enough cheesy sentiments. Let’s do this thang,” Kate says with a sassy attitude .
I gather up my items and follow my best friend out the door and into the festival, ready to get this festival over with so I can focus on my future.
Hopefully, one Dawson wants with me.