Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
GABE
“For fuck’s sake, Gabe,” Marco growled. You’re not going to kill them.”
I rose from my seat. “Wanna bet? As soon as we land, I’m going to go find those fuckers and end every last one of them.” I saw red at the edges of my vision. I wanted off this plane. I needed to get to Nico. I needed to get rid of the threat to Cody.
Marco stepped in front of me and grabbed my arms in a tight hold. “Gabe. Stop. Look at me.”
I blinked. I had somehow gotten all the way across the plane and was standing in front of the exit door. I looked around. Everyone was staring at me with either surprise or concern on their faces. “What the fuck?” I whispered.
“That’s a damn good question,” Marco said. He guided me to a group of seats in the back of the plane, out of earshot of the rest of the team. “Sit,” he commanded. Training and force of habit had me sitting.
He sat across from me and stared at me with his arms folded across his chest. “You’re hiding something from me.”
I opened my mouth to object but then snapped it shut. My gut twisted, and I swallowed hard. “How did you know?”
He leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. “Because you weren’t like this before I separated from the Navy. Something happened after I left.”
I clenched my hands in my lap. “I don’t know what to say.”
“How about you start by telling me the truth. Like the real reason you left the SEALs.”
My mouth went dry. Telling him my secret could change how he saw me. I could lose him as a friend. I could lose the whole team. I blew out a breath and looked down at my hands. I didn’t want to see his compassion change to condemnation. “After Benji was killed, I felt so lost. Helpless. Then you followed Terry home, and I felt like I had no one.” I cleared my throat. “I know I had my team. But the feeling of helplessness just got worse and worse. Eventually, it all fell apart.”
Marco’s hand covered mine. “Gabe…”
I shook my head. “It’s not your fault. You had to go home to Terry. It’s all on me for thinking I could bury it all and move on.”
“What happened?” he asked.
I swallowed hard before I began. “We were assigned to a small village in Pakistan on the Afghan border. You know how it goes. We were there getting friendly with the locals. I’d play games with the boys. This group liked American baseball. The girls weren’t allowed to play, but they could watch from the side of the street. After being there a few days, I noticed there was a guy who would come around whenever the young girls were gathered. He looked like he was maybe in his mid-thirties. The girls would get nervous and move away from him. The women would shoo him away, and he would get angry with them.”
Marco tensed. “I have a feeling I’m not going to like where this is going.”
“No. You won’t.” I twisted my fingers together as the memories of that time came back to me. “One night, we heard a woman screaming. When we went outside to see what was wrong. She said her daughter was missing. She’d put her to bed earlier in the evening, and when she went to check on her, she was gone.”
Marco clenched his fists. “Motherfucker.”
“Yeah. We joined in the search, and seeing it’s what we do, it didn’t take us long to find her.” My throat was so tight I could barely speak. “Her clothes were torn almost all the way off and she’d been strangled. She was nine years old.”
“Son of a bitch,” Marco growled. “Did you catch him?”
“I didn’t. The girl’s uncle found the bastard trying to cover up the scratches he’d gotten from her.”
“So they punished him, right?”
I shifted in my seat, wanting to move to get rid of the anger that was coursing through me. “That’s what they said initially. But time went on, and nothing happened. It seems he was related to someone important, and they were trying to shift the blame to the child and the child’s mother.”
Marco’s eyes widened. “She was nine!”
“Yeah, she was.” I met his gaze straight on. “A few nights later, I found him, dragged him out into the woods, and castrated him. I left him to bleed out.”
Marco stared at me. “Oh shit.”
I just wanted to finish the story, so I went on. “The next day, the relative of the guy came into the town square screaming, threatening to throw everyone in jail. But he couldn’t prove anything.”
Marco was silent for a while, his brow furrowed thoughtfully. “But Commander Grayson figured out it was you, didn’t he?”
I nodded, shame flooding me. “He gave me the option to leave at the end of my contract or face a court-martial. I’d endangered the mission and murdered a noncombatant.”
His brows drew together. “But how does this all relate to what just happened on this plane?”
Shame morphed into frustration. “Because every time I’m not around, something bad happens to the people I love!” I shot out of my seat. “I’m so fucking tired of feeling helpless.”
Marco stood and put his hands on my shoulders. “Gabe, you promised you were working on this with Teresa.”
I threw my hands up in frustration. “I am. I swear. And I was making good progress.” Without warning, tears filled my eyes. “But it’s Nico. And he’s already been through so much. And I…” I closed my mouth on the words. I wasn’t ready for them yet.
Marco didn’t miss it though. The asshole. “You love him.”
I wiped my eyes. “Yeah. But he doesn’t know that.”
“Well, you might want to tell him. After Nico got home from the clinic, he called Tony and asked about you. He made Tony promise to let him know as soon as you were heading home. Tony said it sounded like Nico was close to tears.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Goddamnit. Why does this shit happen when I’m away?”
“It would have happened if you’d been there,” Marco said. “They were obviously following him.”
“Please tell me Michael is on this,” I implored.
“At the moment, no.” He raised his hand to stop me when I opened my mouth to object. “The Wi-Fi on the plane isn’t good enough for him to do what he needs to do. He put Deshawn Bradley on it. He’s the one whose sister we rescued last year, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember. Smart guy. He’s working from Philly?”
“Yep. He’s doing the preliminary work. He’ll hand it off to Michael when he gets back to New York.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “We’ll take care of this. No one is going to hurt Nico or Cody. Not on our watch.”
I blew out a relieved breath. “Okay. Thanks.” I held my friend’s gaze, my stomach in knots. “Am I still on the team?”
Marco looked genuinely confused. “What the fuck, Gabe? Why wouldn’t you be?”
“Because of what I did in Pakistan.”
“That fucker deserved everything he got,” he growled. “Obviously, Grayson agreed because he could have just brought you up on charges. But he didn’t. There’s not a lot of justice in this world. Sometimes, we get to deal it out.” He lightly smacked the side of my head. “You’re an idiot sometimes.” He gestured back to the front of the plane where the rest of the team was. “We’re your family. We’ll never turn our backs on you.”
I pulled him into a tight hug. “Thanks, brother.”
When we finally separated, we were both a little teary-eyed. Marco put his arm around my shoulder. “Come on, let’s get a beer and maybe some shut-eye before we land. We have a lot of work ahead of us.”
“I just want to get home to Nico.” I needed to feel him in my arms. I needed to tell him I loved him.