Chapter 40
Hunter
T he weekend has been an absolute dream. I didn't think about work once, I just focus on the beautiful woman by my side. Everything is exciting for her. She sees the good in everything and just wants to experience it all. She’s a breath of fresh air. She makes me want to do things differently and change the way I live. Not that there’s particularly anything wrong with the way I live. Hell I have one of the most privileged lifestyles there is, but that’s exactly why I need to change my outlook.
Be more Jade.
I know if she had my money, she’d use it for better things. It's at this moment, watching her walk barefoot along the beach, her hair whipping around her stunning face with the biggest smile, I realize how much more I could be doing.
“Hey, Tink?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m thinking of opening up my own non-profit.”
“You are?” Her bubbly excited tone gives me all the confidence I need, that this is the right thing to do.
“I’m so privileged with my lifestyle and upbringing. I’m not doing enough to give back.”
“Where has this come from?”
“Honestly?”
“Always,” she replies, squeezing my hand.
“It’s from spending time with you.”
“Me?” She blinks rapidly as she points to herself and I have to laugh at her reaction.
“Yes, you. You have this zest for life. You want to experience it all. I’ve done the rich boy adrenaline highs, but you, you want to experience the whole world and not for the Instagram likes or the exposure, just because you know how special things are.” She looks down at her feet and I notice her smile has gone. “Hey?” Hooking a finger under her chin I bring her eyes back to mine, her eyes are glassy with unshed tears. “‘What have I said?” I steer us towards a nearby bench.
“Christ. I think I've cried more times in front of you this weekend than I have in front of anyone else.”
“Not exactly what I was going for.”
“Sorry.”
“Never apologize for showing your emotions.”
“Why are you so damn perfect?”
“It’s a hard job.”
She wipes at her eyes, letting out a choked laugh before her expression turns bleak. “My mum she… she’s recovering from a brain tumor, so I’ve taken it upon myself to take every opportunity and run with it.”
I suck in a shaky breath as my body locks tight at her admission. Well, shit, I didn’t see that coming.
“I found out the morning I left you after Halloween. Henry called me in hysterics.”
Well, that explains why she left, and now I feel like a total asshole. It feels like time has stopped and I squeeze my eyes shut as shame washes over me.
“She’s always been my hero. But I know having me as young as she did, being a single mum, she missed out on things. Don’t get me wrong, she doesn’t resent me, nor does she care. She always said that she was just doing her life differently from everyone else, and her time was coming to explore. But the reality of her situation now means she might not get to. She’s only forty-five.” She whispers the last part and shakes her head as she continues. “I’ve made a conscious decision to experience everything, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant. I have to live, truly live, not just survive.” Tears are now rolling down her cheeks, and I can’t help it. I embrace her so tightly, she is breaking right in front of me and my heart is completely crushed. She buries her face into my chest and her whole body shakes as she lets all her emotions escape. I’m not sure how long I hold her like this but when her tears subside and her body sags she peeks up at me her face flushed and blotchy, but she has never looked more beautiful. She is raw, and I have this undeniable need to protect her.
“I’m so sorry for crying like that you must think I’m a nutter.” She pats her wet cheeks.
“A nutter?”
“Yeah, a crazy person.”
I give her a half smile. “I already knew you were a nutter, Tink, but please stop apologizing. The next time you do, I’ll spank that fine ass of yours”
“Okay, but I might like that.” She teases.
“I’m counting on it.” I kiss a lone tear from her cheek. “It all makes sense now. Why you left and why you work so hard. You want to give your mom all you can, because you’re worried she’ll be taken from you. Am I right?” I ask.
She nods. “She always told me to go for my dreams no matter what they were or how small. They were mine so they were important. After she brought me to London when I was young, all I wanted was to work in a big building like Bright. I saw the building, I was so transfixed by it by all the businessmen and women rushing in and out. They all just looked so sharp and the shoes—” She closes her eyes as she sighs. “I thought to myself that day, what career will get me into that building, to dress like that every day and wear those amazing shoes? Basically, I picked my career path based on what shoes I would be wearing. Shallow? Yes. Am I bothered? No. But my mum didn’t pass it off. She helped me. All through school she would take time out to help me study and take me to extra tutoring if I needed it. She worked so hard to make sure that I was able to achieve my dream, and to be able to show her that I’m living that dream means the world to me. Plus, the salary is decent. Now, I can afford the shoes without living off baked beans all month.”
She tries to make light of dark situations, but she doesn’t need to pretend with me. I can see how much she’s hurting. I can’t comprehend what she’s feeling. I don't see my parents as much as I would like, but we talk all the time. At the thought of not being able to pick up the phone to tell them about my day, my heart drops.
I place a soft kiss on her forehead. “You’re with me now, Tink. You could have a new pair of shoes every day for the rest of your life, no baked beans necessary.”
“True, but there is just something about earning them.”
I tuck her into my side and lean my head on top of hers as we look out towards the bright blue sea. “Can I meet her?”
“Mum?”
“Yeah, she sounds like an incredible woman.”
“I’d like that.” She snuggles further into my side. I’m never letting her go.
She has my heart, whether she realizes it or not.