Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Star
I sat curled in the corner of one of the couches with a soda in my hand, surrounded by the ol’ ladies like I’d always been part of their group.
Which was wild, considering a week ago I’d still been sleeping away all of the day.
Now I was here, listening to Eden and Clove argue loudly about blow-up costumes.
“Okay,” Clove announced, holding her phone up like she was about to present an important business proposal. “We need to pick costumes for girls’ night, and I’m telling you right now, if we don’t go hard, what’s the point?”
“Are we really going this hard for girls’ night?” I asked. I was tired just thinking about everything they were wanting to do. I was just happy hanging out with them right now. “I mean, aren’t we pretty much having a girls’ day right now?”
Everyone gasped like I had just said cheese didn’t belong on fries. It did, by the way.
“Girl, I know you are new to this, but you have got to have fun when you can. We’ve lived by that for years,” Wren said.
“Yeah,” Nikki agreed. “You don’t even want to know all of the shit we had to go through to get to where we are now.”
“Kidnappings,” Mayra called.
“Multiple,” Carnie laughed.
Karmen pointed at Alice. “Running away.”
Alice stuck out her tongue. “I was young and dumb, okay? How was I supposed to know the bearded god I curtsied to was meant to be my Beardilocks?”
“Drinking and passing out to where a hot biker had to save her,” Karmen continued.
Alice threw her hands in the air. “Are we really just going to list everything I did? Let’s just throw dead mom in there, too.” She pointed at Karmen. “You’re the one who started all of this.”
Karmen shrugged. “I mean, I don’t think any of you can hate me for falling for Nickel.”
Cora, Mayra, and Raven raised their hands. “Amen!”
“And that is why we need to make a girls’ night with blow-up costumes a big deal,” Penny chirped.
“I second that,” Clove added happily, scrolling again. “Okay, listen. I’ve got options.”
“If they are cow or cow-adjacent, I have them already,” Alice reminded them.
Eden was perched cross-legged on the rug in front of the couch, phone in both hands.
Her eyes were bright and excited, though it seemed the excitement made her stutter a little worse.
“I-I f-found s-s-so many,” she said, flipping her screen around so we could see. “L-like… okay, l-look at th-this one.”
She tapped it, and a picture popped up of a blow-up unicorn costume. The kind that made the person wearing it look like they were riding the unicorn while also being the unicorn, which was confusing and hilarious at the same time.
Clove gasped like it was art. “That’s incredible.”
“That’s terrifying,” Raven said.
“That’s both,” Adley agreed.
Eden giggled, then stuttered through, “A-and there’s a-a d-dinosaur one that m-makes you l-look like you’re g-getting e-eaten.”
Wendy leaned over Eden’s shoulder. “Show me.”
Eden did, and the whole room erupted.
“Oh my God,” Cora wheezed, clutching her stomach. “Why does that one look so realistic?”
“Because it’s trying to haunt your dreams,” Raven said.
Clove swiped dramatically on her own phone. “Okay, okay, but hear me out, sumo wrestler.”
She shoved her phone toward me, and I burst out laughing before I could stop myself. The costume looked like someone had inflated a human marshmallow and then dressed it in a diaper.
“That’s… not flattering,” I managed.
“That’s the point,” Clove said, delighted. “Girls’ night is about freedom.”
“Freedom from dignity,” Raven muttered.
Eden lifted her phone again. “W-wait, w-wait. Th-this one is my f-favorite.” She tapped, then held it up.
A blow-up alien abduction costume. A little green alien looked like it was carrying the person away.
I made a sound that was half laugh, half snort. “Okay, that one wins.”
Clove pointed at me like I’d just made a sacred vow. “See? Star gets it.”
I did get it, actually.
For the first time in a while, I wasn’t thinking about bruises or headaches or fear. I wasn’t thinking about whether my body was going to betray me with exhaustion. I wasn’t thinking about the men in church or the guys who’d hurt me or the fact that they still hadn’t been found.
I was just… here.
Laughing.
Existing.
Belonging.
And it felt weirdly good.
The door behind the bar swung open, and Mom stepped out like she owned the place.
She had her hair pulled up, sunglasses perched on top of her head even though we were inside, and a coffee in her hand like it was an accessory.
I sat up a little straighter without meaning to.
Mom’s gaze swept the room, landed on me, and softened.
She walked right over, weaving through bodies, then stopped in front of me with that look, the one that said she was my mom first and everything else second.
“Hello, Mom,” I said.
“Hello, sweet daughter,” she replied, her voice sugary in a way that made me immediately suspicious.
I narrowed my eyes. “What?”
She smiled like she hadn’t heard me. “I didn’t know you were coming out today.”
I hesitated. “Is that okay?”
Mom laughed, loud enough that a couple of the girls glanced over. “Honey, I think you are past the age of asking me if it’s okay to do something.”
I huffed. “Still. I just—”
She nodded toward the camera mounted in the corner of the ceiling with its little red light blinking like it was listening.
“Pretty sure the camera would agree,” she said.
“Oh God,” I groaned, dropping my face into my hands. “How did I forget about the cameras? The kiss!”
Mom laughed again, and I peeked at her through my fingers.
“Because you’re supposed to,” she said. “That’s the whole point. When you step into the Fallen Lords world, you forget about the cameras so we can get it all on film.”
“That is… not comforting,” I muttered.
She sat down beside me on the couch like she had nowhere else to be. “It’s fine. You’ll get used to it.”
I swallowed, suddenly nervous in a way that was very stupid considering I had been jumped by grown men and lived.
But this felt scarier.
I leaned closer to her and lowered my voice. “I kissed him,” as if she hadn’t witnessed it in HD.
It came out small. Like a confession. Like I was six years old and admitting I’d stolen a cookie.
Mom stared at me for half a second, then she let out a loud laugh that made multiple heads turn.
“I know, doll,” she said, still laughing. “The whole world is going to know, too.”
My stomach dipped.
The club knowing was one thing. The ol’ ladies teasing me was manageable. Cole’s smirk when he walked into church like he’d just won something? Infuriating but… kind of hot.
But the world?
The world didn’t need to know that I liked a biker.
Or that the biker was Cole.
Or that I had kissed him like I’d been starving.
I sat there for a second, frozen, then blurted, “I’m barely okay with the club knowing.”
Mom’s laughter softened into something gentler. She slid an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in, squeezing like she could physically press the worry out of me.
“Relax, honey,” she murmured. “It’s not that big of a deal. You like him, and he likes you.”
I swallowed again. “You’re okay with it?”
Mom pulled back just enough to look at me. “Are you okay with it?”
I felt my face heat, instantly. “That’s not what I asked.”
“That’s what I’m asking,” she countered.
I glanced away because my mother did not need to see the truth written all over my face.
But she did anyway.
“If I wasn’t,” I mumbled, “I sure wouldn’t have kissed him.”
Mom’s expression softened into something that almost hurt. Proud. Tender. Like she’d been waiting for me to want something for myself instead of being careful all the time.
“That’s my girl,” she said quietly. “I’m surrounded by bikers, honey, so I can see the appeal.”
Before I could respond, a voice carried from the kitchen area behind the bar. “Lunch!” Carnie called. “Come get it while it’s hot!”
The room shifted instantly. Phones dropped. Conversations paused mid-sentence. It was as if someone had rung a bell at recess.
Mom sat up straighter like she’d just been summoned by a higher power. “This is my favorite time of day,” she announced.
I laughed. “Of course it is.”
She stood and tugged me up with her. “Come on.”
As we moved toward the kitchen line, I couldn’t help the small, jealous sound that slipped out. “Here I am at home trying to make lunch, and you’ve got Carnie cooking for you.”
Mom shrugged, utterly unashamed, and slung an arm around my shoulders. “I mean, I could always come home for lunch…”
I eyed her. “Uh-huh.”
“…but that might put a kink in your time with Cole,” she finished smoothly.
I stopped walking and stared at her. “Mom.”
She grinned like she lived for my suffering.
“You know,” I drawled, recovering, “I think it’s great that Carnie is cooking for you.”
Mom laughed, pleased with herself, and nudged me forward.
The smell hit us before we even reached the serving area.
Homemade egg rolls were crispy, golden, and steaming when Carnie set them onto a platter. Firecracker chicken with a glossy sauce, sweet heat, and little flecks of red pepper clinging to the pieces. Fried rice in a massive pan, studded with vegetables and bits of scrambled egg.
The room collectively made an “ooooh.”
Nikki clasped her hands together like she was praying. “Carnie, I would die for you.”
Carnie waved her off with a laugh. “Get a plate, drama queen.”
Eden bounced on her toes, stuttering through, “Th-this smells s-so g-good.”
“It always does,” Wendy said, already grabbing napkins.
I loaded my plate probably more than I should have, but Carnie’s food had that effect on people. Like your body forgot how to be reasonable.
I carried my plate to the big table where Adley, Raven, Wendy, and Cora were already sitting.
“Sit,” Adley said, pointing at the open seat beside her.
I slid in gratefully.
Raven eyed my plate. “Good to see you’ve got an appetite.”
“I’m recovering,” I said. “My plate is this full for medical reasons.”
Wendy laughed. “Sure it is.”
Cora leaned over her own plate. “How are you really doing? For real.”
The question was gentle, but it was real. These women didn’t do fake concern. They were blunt, but they cared.
I took a bite of egg roll, and my eyes practically rolled back. “Oh my God,” I murmured around the bite. “Carnie is a wizard.”
Adley grinned. “Yeah. We’ve been telling you.”
I swallowed and wiped my mouth, then answered Cora’s question. “I’m doing a lot better. Bruises are basically gone, except for my stomach. I think there might be a permanent boot print there, but I’m staying awake longer. Only one nap a day now.”
Raven lifted her fork. “Look at you. Upgrading.”
“Next week she’ll be unstoppable,” Wendy said.
“I already am unstoppable,” I joked.
Conversation flowed easily after that.
Girls’ night came back up. Who was buying what, who was absolutely not allowed to pick costumes because last time, Wendy had chosen something that involved a purple wig and an unfortunate incident with a ceiling fan.
Eden kept reading costume ideas off her phone between bites, stuttering more when she got excited, which was often.
“Th-there’s a p-p-possessed b-b-baby one,” she announced, eyes wide.
Raven choked on her drink. “Why would that exist?”
“B-because the w-world is s-s-sick,” Eden replied, dead serious.
Adley laughed so hard, she had to set her fork down. “I’m getting it for you.”
Eden’s eyes widened. “N-no.”
“Yes,” Adley said, already reaching for her phone. “It’s fate.”
Then my mind flicked, uninvited, to Cole.
He was in church. In a meeting. Whatever they wanted to call it to make it sound less like a biker version of a boardroom.
They still hadn’t found the men who hurt me.
I didn’t say it out loud to the girls because I didn’t want to sour the moment, but it sat in the back of my mind like a weight.
If they were hiding, it meant they knew the Fallen Lords were looking.
And if they knew that… how were they going to find them?
I finished my food anyway. Ate until my plate was empty and my stomach was full in the best way. I leaned back in my chair, satisfied, and listened to the chatter around me.
Adley was telling a story about Calla trying to cook once and nearly setting off the fire alarm.
Cora was teasing Raven about her “murder face” when she got competitive.
Wendy was laughing at something Eden said, Eden laughing too, stuttering through it like she couldn’t get the words out fast enough.
And me?
I was full and happy.
For the first time in what felt like forever, I let myself just sit there.
And I hoped, selfishly, that whatever happened next didn’t steal this feeling from me.
Not yet.