Chapter 15 #2
He was behind me suddenly, pinning me against the counter. Panic gripped me for a second, but I felt the body pressed against mine. It wasn’t Digger. Or another man. It was Grayson. I relaxed against his body, which had become so familiar to me. Grayson.
He slowly trailed his hand up the side of my leg, his mouth near my ear.
His touch felt so delectably inappropriate, yet he wasn’t touching me anywhere deemed inappropriate.
I instinctively angled my head to the side, and he brushed his lips against my ear, making me shudder with delight.
“Hmmm,” the deep sound rumbled in his chest, sending goosebumps along my limbs.
“Still don’t want to fuck me?” His hand trailed over my hip, which he gripped tightly, pulling me into him even more.
His grip was painful, but it felt oh so good. Of course he was going to make me eat my words. “No,” I breathed heavily. I fought the urge to arch my back for him, to melt for him. I still had some pride left.
He eased off me and pulled me towards the microwave but didn’t let go completely. His hand was flat against my bare stomach, pulling me against him. “Look, Princess,” he said lowly against my ear.
I looked. The microwave was eye level and had a mirror finish.
I could see my face and down to my shoulders and I could see Grayson behind me, leaning down to kiss my neck.
I could see myself tilting my head to give him better access.
My cheeks were flushed, and my lips parted, and my eyes glazed over.
My chest heaved up and down as I struggled to breathe.
Grayson dragged his lips across my neck, up to my ear, making my eyes close involuntarily from the sensation, which was a shame, because the sight of it was nearly as intoxicating as the feel of it.
“See?” he whispered, his voice rough. “Your face says otherwise.”
My eyes snapped open to see a triumphant grin on his face.
Bastard.
I shoved away from him, embarrassment glowing fiercely on my cheeks.
I went back to chopping the carrots while Grayson browned some onions in a pot and cut up some meat.
He was making the soup I had asked for the previous day.
When I announced that I was done chopping, he took the bowl of vegetables from me with a kiss to my temple, and added it into the pot, where the meat and onions already sizzled.
A few minutes later, Grayson closed the lid of the pot and turned to me. Most of the work was done. The soup was boiling, and the bread was baking.
I was sitting on the counter, and he joined me. We watched the bread rise in perfect silence. Both our minds on their own journey.
After a while, Grayson took my hand and intertwined our fingers. “I haven’t thanked you yet. For playing along with the ranger. I know it was a difficult decision.”
“It’s nothing,” I lied.
He was quiet again, for a while. “What made you stay?”
I bit my lip, contemplating if I should tell the truth. “You.” I looked to see his reaction. He wasn’t smiling or excited or any other reaction one would expect. No, he looked almost sad.
“That wasn’t very smart, Ava. You should have run.” He smiled at me faintly, as if to pass off his words as a joke but failing miserably.
Why did he want me to run from him? “You’ve said something like that before.”
“And you should have listened.” He placed his fingers under my chin to angle my face to his. “Darling, I will ruin you,” he repeated his words from those first weeks.
“Maybe so. But maybe you were right. Maybe I’m a masochist.”
He smiled at that. A genuine one. The curve of his lips pulled my attention. I wanted nothing more than to kiss those lips. So, I leaned closer, so close I could feel his breath on my face. My body tingled with expectation as I waited for him to close the gap.
But he didn’t. He inched backwards and looked down at his hand gripping the edge of the counter. “Ava…” was all he said.
I straightened. Embarrassment sending hot waves through my body, which turned to anger.
I hopped off the counter, too worked up to sit, and turned to him.
“I’ve sat on your lap; you’ve pinned be against this very counter and you’re always kissing me, but kissing me on the lips, that’s where you draw the line,” I declared, sarcasm dripping from my tongue.
Something shifted in him. He stared at me, trapping me with those ruthless eyes.
And just like that, my anger deflated, being replaced with uneasiness.
Those eyes still had that effect on me. He slid from the counter.
Grayson took my head in his hands, as if he was going to kiss me, but he only stared at me, his face hard.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for. If I kiss you, then there’s no turning back, Princess. You will be mine. And you don’t yet understand the gravity of that.”
I rolled my eyes. “Because you’re such a monster, I get it.” I tried to twist my face away, but his grip tightened.
“Because if you’re mine, you don’t get to go home.
You will only have me. Us. This. Are you prepared for that?
Would you be happy living like we do? There would be no settling down, raising a family, getting a dog.
You would be crawling through airducts with me, going on stakeouts, fighting your way out a building with me, washing blood out of your hair.
Does that sound pleasing to you? Like I said.
You don’t understand the gravity of a kiss.
” He dropped his hands. “And I am a fucking monster; you’d do good to remember that. ”
I stood frozen as I watched him walk out the front door.
Gods, he was right! I hadn’t thought any of it through.
I was setting myself up for heartache. There was no way this could work, and I had been stupid and blind to not think of the future.
There was no future. How did I think this would play out?
That I’d go home and introduce Grayson to my parents?
No, I would go home and could never see him again.
My stomach dropped at that thought. Could I do it? Say goodbye to Grayson?
My feet made their way to the door, and out onto the porch.
Grayson was chopping wood at the edge of the clearing.
The last rays of the sun illuminating him from behind.
He lifted the axe above his head and drove it down, with a bit more force than necessary.
Again, and again. The axe getting stuck in the chopping block almost every time. His face was set in hard lines.
Grayson. There was no getting around it; he was a bad man.
A man who’d hurt me. Yet, I find myself intrigued by him.
Drawn to him. He had taken me from my life, yet I don’t hate him for it.
Not anymore. I had witnessed his monster, been a victim of it, but I would endure it all again, for him to look at me and touch me like he does now.
It was messed up, but I wanted him. I craved him.
More than I wanted to go home? To see my family again?
His blow echoed through the air. I wanted this man so badly, yet I didn’t know him.
Not really. I knew a bit about his childhood and that he was some type of master thief.
That he had beef with another rich guy, and that he loved Hunter and Gemma fiercely.
Enough to kill someone to protect their freedom.
To kill me. I knew he was a thrill seeker who enjoyed any type of challenge, even a mouthy, stubborn hostage.
He was daring, bored by the mundane, the safe.
He was clever and cunning, and the way he was always inside his head made me think that I had not yet seen all he was capable of.
With all that I knew, I knew I haven’t even scratched the surface of him.
I found myself in front of him. There was sweat on his brow. His chest was heaving. His eyes searched mine.
“Then show me, Grayson. I want to know what it’s like to be yours.” What it would be like to love you.
His face softened. He pulled his hand through his hair, his eyes troubled. “No, Ava.”
My breath left me, and I couldn’t take another.
Grayson took my hand. “You are sunshine. You are good,” he breathed.
“You are hope, Ava. The hope I had lost in humanity a long time ago. You do not belong in my world. You do not belong with me. I’m no good for you, Ava.
I will kill that perfect light inside you.
” He brushed the tears from my cheek. “And of all the fucked-up things I’d done in my life, that would be the worst. I will not stain you with my darkness.
Not more than I already have. You deserve better.
You deserve someone who can love you tenderly, sweetly, warmly, honestly.
And I’m incapable of such things.” He took my face in his hands.
And as I looked into his eyes, I could see the aching I felt reflected there.
“Forget about me, Princess. Go find someone who is worthy of that magnificent soul of yours.” His eyes roamed over my face as if memorising it, hungry to see every line, like he would never see it again.
“I will take you home tomorrow. Before the snowstorms hit. You should go pack a bag. It’s a two-day drive. ”
He turned then and placed another log on the chopping block. I walked back to the cabin in a daze. My mind not yet caught up to the already aching wound in my chest. I went straight up to my room, ignoring the burning smell coming from the oven.
He was taking me home.
He was taking me home. I collapsed against the closed bedroom door. He was taking me home.