Chapter 19 #2
“It’s this thing, from inside, which determines it.
And near as I can tell, when there are tears, when there’s sorrow, that makes a thing wrong.
When there’s joy, that makes a thing right.
Yet even that doesn’t always hold true. But I…
” Saer flattened his palm against his chest. “I don’t have these.
Joy or sorrow. Fear or comfort in anything beyond my duties as a Daemoenic.
I...” He took in a shaking breath, rephrasing his statement. “I...did not have these.”
Ruki’s soul froze, its voice careful when it addressed Saer’s words. “You’ve been learning to feel as humans do.”
Saer looked away and nodded. He didn’t voice the next part out loud, that the sensations slipped through the cracks with Ruki, but the walls came crashing down with Neyu.
Was she well?
Ruki’s essence hesitated before speaking again. “Surely there are worse fates.”
Saer’s lips thinned. “I have a duty. I fulfill it. I serve one, and I must remember that.” His gaze lifted. “Will you hide again?”
The soul half-smiled, neither happy nor sad. “What would the proper response be to my murderer and warden?”
Again, an uneasy feeling swelled in Saer’s chest, and he found himself unable to meet the spirit’s gaze. Furthermore, unable to understand why.
He nodded, coming to a decision, and stood from leaning.
The spirit of Ruki dissipated and reformed when Saer walked straight through it.
Black clouds rose into the sky behind Saer while he waited upon a tall sand dune, away from the settlement.
The sun set and rose again. Once. Twice. A third and fourth day. He didn’t move.
Time passed slower in the Hells. This, he knew. Still, the waiting gnawed at his belly, the thoughts of what Neyu said, did, presented.
What if—?
A sphere of fire erupted a few paces off amidst the blazing heat of the midday sun, and he jerked his head in its direction.
The blaze faded then disappeared. In its absence, the Second Daemoenic knelt.
Saer released a harsh breath and stood, eyes fixed on his love.
Neyu’s black flesh glowed, a striking contrast to the white desert sands. She shook herself, stretching her great wings.
When Neyu’s cerulean eyes opened, a bleariness cleared from them between one blink to the next.
She stood to her full height and moved towards him, her pace quickening with each step.
Her body shrank, flesh lightened, horns turned to hair and wings melted into a smooth, flawless back.
By the time she’d returned to her human form, she was running, and she leapt into his embrace, naked arms and legs tangling around him.
He caught Neyu and crushed her against his body, burying his face in her neck while his eyes squeezed shut. He breathed in her scent.
Lavender and roses.
Something tight in his chest fractured, and he allowed a single sob to escape before stifling it and squeezing her tighter.
“I’m here, Dearest,” she whispered against his shoulder.
The swell of emotions crashed over and through Saer, and he forced himself to inhale and exhale through them. What in the Hells was wrong with him?
“Saer,” she murmured with a quiet laugh laced through the word. “Let me breathe.”
His arms loosened to her plea, but he didn’t release her, letting her body slide down his until she stood on her own two feet. Raising his hands, he cupped the sides of Neyu’s face, inspecting, searching for any sign of harm…
“I’m alright.” Neyu smiled, and it was as hypnotic as the first day he’d witnessed.
“You told our maker?” He didn’t want to ask the question, but it came out unbidden.
His insides coiled when she offered a slow nod.
“And did—”
“We’re allowed to work together,” Neyu interrupted. “I convinced him.”
“What did you say?”
Neyu’s brow furrowed with her frown. “I…” She trailed off, looking off to the side before licking her lips and shaking her head. “He said we could work together.” The words left with her breath, somehow puzzled and chilling all at once.
A shard of dread sliced between Saer’s ribs. “What happened, Neyu?”
She licked her lips again, then darted her gaze back to Saer’s, holding her tongue.
“Neyu—”
“Ahraan was Draconic,” Neyu interrupted him again, as though just remembering.
Saer’s mouth thinned, taking her cue and forcing himself into silence.
“They’re an answering force to us from the Grandfather, put in place to protect humanity’s souls from our harvests.”
The tactic to distract proved good enough for now. Saer tilted his head to show he listened.
“They’ve been granted the power to heal flesh and command some elements, as we control fire. When he called us ‘cousin,’ he meant it in truth.”
If possible, Saer’s frown deepened. “He was made by our creator’s kin?” Other angels. “You learned this when you went back?”
Neyu nodded. “The Twins and Errshek have seen other Draconic. Ahraan preferred fire, but some can control air, earth, or water. They’re not easy to kill.”
“But not impossible.”
A shrewd light glinted in Lust’s eyes. “A girl just needs the right motivation to make it happen, apparently.”
“Remind me never to flay your neck wide open, lest I lose my own windpipe.” Saer allowed the comment to carry a thin hint of dry humor.
Neyu offered a close-mouthed laugh as she lifted herself on her toes to nudge her nose along his cheek. Her hands slid up his chest, increasing his pulse. “That did upset me.” The demoness placed a feather-light kiss on his lower lip.
Saer absorbed it with a slow blink, and his heart sped further when she whispered against his mouth, “But I was referring to watching my love almost getting eaten alive.”
His wry smile couldn’t be helped as Saer nudged his nose to hers. “I was in control the whole time.”
“I wouldn’t dare suggest otherwise.”
Saer bared his teeth in a playful snarl and redoubled his squeeze around her waist, drawing a laughing yelp in return.
If only he could lose himself in her. Every moment of every day.
Saer brushed his beloved’s hair from her eyes.
“Neyu?”
Neyu pursed her lips and relocked her gaze with his. The sadness in them stopped the breath in his lungs.
“What did our maker say?” he whispered
She shook her head and released a shaking exhale. “I told him we wish to work together to restore him, and want for nothing more.”
Saer’s heart skipped. “You lied.”
“He let me come back. I’d do it again.” Ferocity glimmered once more in her gaze.
The lengths to which she’d gone…Saer knew he could deceive their maker, but also knew the consequences if caught. Thinking of Neyu doing the same terrified him.
But…as long as Lucifer remained trapped in the Hells, and Neyu had proven her ability to fool It, they were safe.
“We’ll bring back more large harvests,” Neyu said. “He won’t stop us.”
The expression on her face, the way she’d looked at him before bringing the mob of souls back to Lucifer replayed in his mind, and Saer’s heart twisted. “You ache for them. For the dead.”
“You don’t?”
“I—” Saer cut off his automatic refusal when Ruki’s wandering existence popped into his mind, and he frowned, gathering himself. “We do as we’re commanded.” Even to his own ears, it sounded hollow.
The corners of her eyes flinched. “We deserve more than we are given.” She looked out at the desert, to where the souls once stood. “So do they.”
He had no words to argue.