Chapter 7 #2
Turning my head, I pressed my face into my pillow—then realized, that’s not what it was. It was Ursula’s chest. I was lying beside her, my arm around her narrow waist and my head on her breasts.
I sucked in a breath and inadvertently filled my lungs with her addicting scent.
My cock instantly grew hard. That wasn’t optimal.
Ursula wouldn’t be okay with me getting hard while I lay beside her, but how could I not?
I still craved her like a starved beast. The feeling wasn’t mutual, though, and every time we crossed paths, she’d made sure I knew just how much I disgusted her now.
I let my powers curl around her but got no feedback whatsoever, even now while we were between events. We were here for the tournament and so were the angels. Apparently, that was enough to hobble my senses completely.
Still, I didn’t move, not yet, and allowed myself to greedily indulge in the sensation of having her close like this again.
It had been so long. Three years. She used to allow me to touch her like this.
She’d pressed into me seeking more, and she’d touched me as well, greedily.
I’d never experienced the likes of it. She’d been all I could think about, all I’d wanted, and in all honesty, that hadn’t changed.
But if I’d known the last time I’d held her in my arms, the last time she’d held me in return, would be the last, I would have pulled her closer, held her tighter, kissed her more deeply—I would have told her exactly how being with her affected me.
If you’d known that you were about to make the biggest mistake in your life, you wouldn’t have fucking made it in the first place.
Looking back now, there’d been small things that had seemed off when Uma had approached me pretending to be her twin.
The green of her eyes hadn’t been quite as bright.
The way her mouth curved when she smiled was slightly off.
Now, seeing both sisters side by side was like looking at two different females, but back then, it hadn’t been so easy.
They were identical twins, and as taken with Urs as I’d been, I’d just been so pleased to see her.
To have her wrap her arms around me without a second thought to who might be watching.
My heart had raced dizzyingly fast, and my feelings for her had blinded me.
I’d never imagined Uma would try to hurt Ursula that way.
And she’d make sure Urs saw the whole thing.
Why would I ever think that? Why would I ever think it was anyone but Ursula?
Uma had kissed me, and I’d kissed her back, touched her—and instantly knew something was wrong. But it was too late.
I’d been intimate with my female’s sister, and in doing so had destroyed Ursula’s trust in me so thoroughly that she now despised me, and there was no coming back from it.
I hadn’t wanted to believe it. For a long time, I’d held out hope that she’d forgive me and give me a second chance, but I knew now it would never happen. She didn’t want me anymore and, somehow, I had to move on.
Getting my wings back, returning to Heaven, maybe even signing the book of alliance with Rosalind, binding us and having a child, would help me to move on from this pull, this need I had for the female at my side.
Ignoring the way everything inside me seized, fucking rebelled at the notion of being with anyone else, I turned my head, and indulged, no, tortured myself a little longer.
I’d never get this chance again. Urs was a heavy sleeper, at least she was when she was with me, so I took the risk and curled my arm around her waist more firmly, pressed my face against her soft breasts and breathed deeply again.
Ursula mumbled.
I stilled.
She stilled as well, then her breath evened out, falling back into a deeper sleep.
I waited a moment, then moved my head from side to side against her chest and groaned.
“Get off, asshole,” she muttered and slapped the side of my head, then shoved me.
I quickly sat up. “Apologies. I didn’t realize that I’d…” I motioned to her lying partially beneath me. At least from the waist up. Thankfully, she couldn’t see or feel the iron rod thrusting up from my groin.
“That you’d what? Buried your head between my tits and motorboated me?” She gave me another shove for good measure, then sat up and got out of my bed.
I wanted to dive across the mattress, hook her around the waist and yank her back in with me. “I was asleep,” I said, lying.
She narrowed her eyes on me.
She wasn’t buying it. I needed to change the direction of this conversation. “You didn’t have to stay with me last night, but I appreciate it. I’m sure it was an…unpleasant task.”
“I didn’t stay because I wanted to,” she said, her lovely eyes burning into me. “I did it because I need you fit and healthy for today.”
“I appreciate it all the same.”
She shrugged, then lifted her arms, stretching, and her oversized shirt drifted up, almost showing the soft delicate flesh between her thighs. “I’ve done worse than wipe puke off someone’s chin, Si, but let’s not make a habit of it, okay?”
I cleared my throat. “Of course.”
She stood there a moment longer, and I realized she was waiting for me to get out of bed. I couldn’t do that, not with what I had going on under the covers. I sat up but didn’t move. “I’ll ah…just grab a shower and be out shortly.”
Her gaze slid over me before she spun and strode out of the room.
What had I been thinking? I rubbed my hands over my face.
Idiot.
Nothing would ever happen between Ursula and me, not ever again.
I had to focus on getting through this tournament and ensuring the angel team won, despite how much I loathed the pair of them.
Once I was back to full power, I could deal with Nathaniel, but for now, I had to make sure he didn’t kill me or Urs and it was just them and us standing at the end.
If another team beat us to the second spot on the leaderboard, there was a chance the angels could lose, and if that happened, the deal I had with Michael would be void.
I got out of bed and glanced into the main room.
Ursula was sitting at the small dining table, her poisons set out in front of her.
She was systematically adding a drop from each vial into a mug, something she did every day, microdosing, to keep up her tolerance to whatever nasty shit was in those bottles.
She’d been consuming small amounts of poison her whole life as part of her job as Lucifer’s taster, and she took her job very seriously.
For an hour afterwards, her eyes, that were a vibrant green, would gain a golden ring around the edges that almost glowed.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” she said without looking up.
Shit. I quickly strode away before she did, and got an eyeful of the erection I was trying to hide, and shut myself in the bathroom.
I turned the shower on to frigid and got in.
My cock didn’t deflate, though, and I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore it.
I hadn’t indulged in the pleasures of the flesh since I’d been with Ursula three years ago.
Sex made me feel out of control, made me crave things I couldn’t have, things that weren’t meant for me, that had never been meant for me. Like Ursula.
If I had my wings returned and my banishment rescinded, I would need to return ready to be the angel I once was, and sex for any other reason than procreation was unacceptable. I had to remember that.
I would be expected to lie with Rosalind, but again, only for procreation, and allowing myself to fall deeper into the dark longing I’d allowed myself to experience with Ursula would make my life in Heaven more difficult than it needed to be.
I had to douse the emotions burning inside me and return to the cool, collected male I’d once been.
Fire belonged in Hell, not burning inside one of God’s warriors.
I looked down at my erect penis and hissed in a breath through my teeth.
I’d gone to great pains to make it impossible to lie with another female after Ursula, to make sure that part of myself was as unattractive and unserviceable as possible.
A punishment. Though, at the time, it had been more symbolic for me than anything else, because the idea of being with another female, even Rosalind, was not something I could bear to contemplate.
The male at the piercing shop had called it Jacob’s ladder. Showing anyone how I’d purposely mutilated that part of my body as punishment for my failure to Ursula, and my betrayal to my brethren, would be humiliating, which was exactly why I’d chosen to do it.
I guessed I’d have to take the piercings out when I returned to Heaven, along with the ones through my nipples, again an attempt at disfiguring my body. I imagined Ursula looking at me like this and shuddered.
She’d be repulsed by me. Disgusted. That should be enough to soften my cock, but it remained rock hard.
Without any other choice, I gripped the base of my cock and squeezed, so tight it caused pain. I hissed and panted, but finally my erection subsided.
Trembling, I blasted myself with more cold water.
The next task would be starting soon, and I needed to force everything else from my mind.
I would make it to the final event. It was the only way to go home.
It was the only way I could get over Ursula and return to the angel I once was.