Chapter 12
Twelve
Silas
Ursula was limp in my arms, her breathing shallow.
“Urs.” I shook her gently. “Wake up. Please, wake up.”
My head spun violently as the poison hit my bloodstream and I was plunged into darkness, the room vanishing around us.
A shout of alarm burst from me a moment later when light flashed, the world spinning back into sharp focus.
I was hurtling towards a jagged cliffside.
My body slammed into it, and I grabbed for the only handhold I could find, while clinging to an unconscious Ursula, holding her to me with the other arm.
The outcropping I stood on was narrow and could only accommodate the very tips of my boots.
“Fuck.” Hissing, I hung on with all my strength.
We were dizzyingly high up, above the clouds. No being would survive a drop like that, and Ursula wasn’t waking up. My foot slipped, and I growled and pressed as close to the rock face as I could with Urs fucking hanging off my arm to one side of me.
My muscles strained, sweat coated my skin, making it hard to keep my grip on the rocks and Ursula. Oh fuck. She was slipping. The scars on my back throbbed, letting me know how useless I was, that if I still had my wings, I could save her. I could save my precious Ursula.
She slipped more. “No!” I tried to clutch her to me with all my might, but she was a dead weight, completely limp, and I couldn’t get a good hold on her.
“Ursula!” I roared, trying to get her to wake up, to help me, to grab hold of me.
I only had her under her arms now. It was like something was pulling her down, dragging her from my hold.
She slipped again, and I grabbed for her, but it was no good. I lost my grip. Her eyes snapped open as she fell. I roared her name, reaching for her. Her arms lifted for me. She was engulfed in cloud, then she was gone.
The sound that burst from me was like a tortured beast, and without thought, I jumped. I plummeted, falling so fast my eyes watered. I could see Ursula, but I couldn’t reach her. I just had to grab hold of her, hold her in my arms one more time—
The familiar strain and stretch of my back muscles came a moment before wings sprouted from my back.
Oh fuck. I had wings again. Exhilaration filled me, and I burst through the clouds going after her. There. She was right there. Tucking in my wings, I dove, plummeting at breakneck speed.
I reached for her, snatching her from the air.
My wings vanished as soon as I pulled her to me. I roared as we fell once again, as the rocks and sky and clouds swirled with black, the world shifting again before we hit the ocean, cold and violent, and she was torn from my arms.
Bursting through the surface, I called for her, searching for Ursula, but I couldn’t find her.
I couldn’t find her.
No. Please, God, no.
I wasn’t losing her. Not again. I dove down into the depths, down, down, kicking my legs as hard as I could.
Something flashed to my left. I spun.
Ursula. Oh fuck. Panic exploded through me.
She was chained to the sea floor, her hands and feet spread wide, pinned down.
She was unconscious, precious oxygen pouring from between her lips.
I frantically swam to her, kicking as hard as I could, and grabbed at her restraints, trying to pry them apart, smashing them with rocks, but unable to break them.
Something huge circled above us, then another, and another.
They were coming. I had to get her to shore. I had to save her.
Something gold and bright shone from under the sand beside me. I grabbed it. A key. I quickly tried it on her shackles. It worked. I unlocked them, then grabbing her, swam as hard as I could.
As we breached the surface, the ocean dissolved around us.
We were back in the dungeon.
Ursula lay in my arms, still limp, like before we were plucked from this room and stuck on that cliffside, her breathing barely perceptible.
Dear God, it had felt so real…fighting to keep her alive only to have her snatched away over and over again. I saved her though, I brought her back. I clung to her, rocking her in my arms. She was okay. She was going to be okay.
A chime rang out through the room, and I jolted. The fifth and final bottle appeared, hovering in front of me, glowing silver. I snarled, wanting to snatch it from the air and smash it against the wall.
The idea of pouring that poisonous fucking shit into her mouth made me sick to my stomach, but if I didn’t do it, she would die. I had no choice but to make her drink it.
Plucking it from the air, I pulled out the cork, then shaking like hell, I carefully poured it into her mouth, then tossed the bottle aside.
Ursula made a choking sound, gasping and swallowing it down, before her eyes snapped open. The green of her irises, already impossibly bright, were ringed with what looked like glowing twenty-four-carat gold. A physical manifestation of the poisons she’d taken.
“Silas?” she choked.
“That was the last one, Urs,” I said, brushing her hair back from her beautiful face. “It’s almost over.”
“D-don’t leave me,” she gasped not really looking at me, her hand lifting, reaching for something. “Please, Silas. Don’t go.”
Her voice was panicked. I cupped her face. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Silas,” she said again, the fear ratcheted up. “Silas,” she screamed.
“Ursula! I’m right here.” I leaned over her, my face just above hers. “I’m here, my love.”
Her gaze became distant. She was looking beyond me now, as if she couldn’t see me, and tears streamed down her cheeks. Heartbreak, agony so raw it transformed her features and made her almost unrecognizable.
Something terrifying shifted through her eyes—utter and complete hopelessness.
Ursula stilled completely, and then I watched in abject horror as the life drained from her.
“No!” I shook her. “Ursula! Wake up. Fucking wake up.” Her bright green-and-gold eyes dulled, turning to a muted gray, and her skin turned ashen.
“Ursula!” I roared as she slipped away completely, lost to me forever.
My heart was a lead weight in my chest as I wrapped my arms around her, begging her to come back, to come back to me. I’d fucking killed her. I’d tried so hard to keep her alive, to save her, then I’d force-fed her that poison, and I’d killed her.
I wanted to go with her. I didn’t want to be here alone. I couldn’t live without her.
“Take me with you,” I begged. “Please, baby, take me with you.”
This wasn’t right. This couldn’t be happening. God, please, let me go with her.
This couldn’t be real.
This wasn’t real. I chanted it over and over in my head, as if saying it enough times would make it true.
This isn’t real. It’s not real.
It’s not real.
It’s…not real.
My heart smashed against my ribs. “It’s not real,” I snarled.
Everything rushed back. The tournament, the task we’d been sent on this morning. This nightmare had felt so real. I’d been lost in it. In the trickery, in the pain.
Your fears, whatever they may be, cannot kill you. Only giving in to that fear wholeheartedly will allow that to happen. Felditch’s words filled my mind.
I couldn’t give in to my fear, and neither could Ursula. For me, it was losing her. For Ursula, I could only assume, but from the things she’d said while I held her during the throes of her hallucinations, it seemed that her biggest fear, was being alone.
So I held her tight to me, letting her feel my body against hers, my heart beating against hers.
“I’m right here, Urs. I haven’t left you.
Fight it. It’s not real. You’re not alone, baby.
I’ll never leave you alone. I promise. I’m here.
You just have to open your eyes, you just have to come back to me and you’ll see. I promise you’ll see.”
She twitched.
“Ursula?” I lifted my head, wrapping my hand around the side of her face. “Ursula, wake up,” I said again, this time an order.
Her lashes trembled, and her gray skin began to pinken. “I’m here,” I said again. “Wake up, that’s it. Wake up for me.” Her lashes fluttered, then her eyes opened and bright-green, stunning irises blinked up at me, the gold beginning to fade.
“Silas?” she choked, her gaze darting around the room.
“It’s okay, you’re okay.”
“It was so dark.”
“It’s over,” I said, shaking hard as relief rushed through me. “You’re not going back there.”
She blinked up at me again, then shifted experimentally before moving to sit up.
I didn’t want to let her go. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, looking confused.
“What do you remember?”
“Not a lot.” She darted a glance at the empty bottles, all five of them. “It’s all a blur really.” Her gaze slid to mine. “You helped me drink them?”
I nodded.
“Was it bad?”
“Yes,” I rasped.
Her gaze faltered, dipping away before returning to me. “And you? Did you drink yours?”
“Yes.” My part of the trial would live in my nightmares for eternity.
Felditch was clever, and fucking demented.
I didn’t need to drink the same number of poisons as Ursula to live my own personal version of hell.
No, that was watching her go through that horror and agony and being utterly useless—helpless.
Felditch had forced me to powerlessly watch Ursula suffer, holding her in my arms terrified I’d lose her with every poison she drank, before finally making me drink the poison he’d left for me and throwing me into a hallucination of my own.
An alternate reality where I’d fought to save her and she was taken over and over again.
But worst of all, was what happened afterwards, when he’d made me force-feed her the final potion—the one that would take her life.
He’d made me bring about my own biggest fear.
After fighting to keep her alive, he’d made me kill her.
“I never want to experience anything like that ever again.”
“Felditch is a sadistic motherfucker,” she rasped.
Stairs up to the door, leading out of the dungeon, appeared. We were free to leave.
“Can you walk?” I asked her.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
I wasn’t. I would never be fine again.
Ursula stopped. “A gold disk, there has to be one here somewhere.”
I turned, and we both scanned the room. I spotted it, wedged between two black stone tiles on the floor.
Calling my sword forward, I shoved the tip in the narrow gap, levered it out, and snatched it up.
Urs led the way up the stairs, and pushed open the door.
When we walked out, night had fallen, and there were two other doors visible on the field.
The vampires and the witches, both doors had deep gashes through them, blood slowly oozing from the wounds.
One of the witches was curled up on the ground outside it, silently weeping. No one else was around.
Ursula rushed to her. The witch jolted, screaming when Urs touched her.
“I won’t hurt you,” Urs said.
“She’s gone. They killed her. She’s gone,” the witch said over and over again.
I looked across the field and Felditch was striding toward us, a shimmering silver cape billowing out behind him. He aimed his staff at the witch, and she vanished.
Ursula shot to her feet. “What did you do to her?”
“I sent her home.”
“Why do their doors look like that?” I asked.
“Because both the witches and the vampires failed. The team members who survived have been sent home in disgrace.”
“Are we the only team to make it out?” I asked.
Felditch smiled his demented smile, and with a flourish of his hand, the leaderboard appeared.
A disk had been added beside the angels’ team name.
The other teams all had slashes through them, showing that they’d been disqualified from the tournament.
“The angels made it out as well. They’ve already retired to their quarters, and once you add your disk, it’ll be time for you to do the same,” he said and motioned to the path.
I did as he said, then followed Ursula back to the manor, along the hall and into our room.
My heart thumped hard the whole way. We may have passed the task, but my nervous system hadn’t yet recovered, my heart and mind were still struggling to believe that Ursula was alive and well, even though I was looking right at her.
It was impossible to get past it, not when time and space had been warped like it had in that place, not when it had all felt so real.
Urs strode across the living area, slid off her jacket and dumped it on a chair, then turned back to me. “You okay?” she asked, her head tipping to the side, a concerned look on her face.
I nodded, lying. My mouth was dry, my stomach in knots—my soul in fucking shreds. “You?”
Her teeth sank into her lower lip. “Yeah, I’m good,” she said, but she wasn’t meeting my eyes.
I’d wanted this female in ways that I’d never imagined before I met her, but none of it, none of those times compared to this moment.
She’d made her feelings clear though. What I wanted wasn’t what she wanted, so I had to let her go, again, and it hurt more than any physical wound I had ever endured.
She nodded, still not meeting my eyes. “Okay, well, I’m gonna grab a shower and get some rest.”
I wanted to roar, to beg, to plead with her to want me.
She walked into her room, turning to face me as she shut the door, her eyes catching mine for a moment before she was gone. The lock clicked into place, locking me out.
Before I knew what the hell I was doing, I was striding across the room, needing to be as close to her as I could physically get. Hissing, I gripped the doorframe and fought not to call her name, not to start begging her to let me in.
The door opened again, and Ursula jerked to a stop, her head tilting up at me in surprise. She was breathing hard, the pulse at the side of her throat fluttering wildly.
“I lied,” I said before she could speak. “You asked if I was okay, and I lied. I’m not fucking okay.”
Her delicate throat worked as she swallowed. “I lied too.”
“Tell me what you need, and I’ll give it to you. Tell me what you need to be okay, and I’ll move mountains to ensure you have it,” I said, meaning it with everything in me.
She swallowed again, the sound audible. “Silas.” My name fell from her lips, her voice soft, pleading as she reached out, fisting my shirt over my stomach, then leaned forward, pressing her forehead to my chest.
I slid my fingers into her hair, and gently tilted her head back while my heart pounded. “What do you need, Urs? Tell me,” I demanded.
“You,” she whispered. “I need you.”