1. Chloe #3
I realize my mouth is still open, so I shut it and smile. My eyes dart back and forth. “Uh, I have to use the bathroom,” I say and jump off him, hightailing it down the hallway.
Once inside the bathroom, I turn on the water and gather the mound of curls tangled around my shoulders into a ball resembling a bird’s nest on top of my head.
I then go through the steps to recenter myself that I learned from therapy earlier this year.
I splash water on my face and take a deep breath.
I breathe in and hold, then breathe out and hold, repeating the sequence three more times.
Then I try to stay still, focusing on the sounds and smells around me until I can feel my body relax.
I open my eyes, look in the mirror—and see a girl on the verge of repeating history.
Before we moved to Auburn Hills, I was going through the worst breakup of my life.
I caught my ex, Dane, cheating on me. He consumed my entire college life, aside from the few breaks we had.
I even filled the void left by Dane with other boys during those breaks.
I would go on date after date, using dating apps to hook up or dance with strangers at college bars.
I did anything to distract me from Dane because, whether we were together or not, he was all I thought of.
I see myself in the mirror, and I fear I’m repeating the pattern.
I’m turning Tyler into Dane. I think about what he’s up to when I’m not with him.
I want to text him every day and ask how he is doing.
I will see a rock and think of him because he likes to climb.
It’s getting into dangerous territory. I draw a mental line in my head.
A line I can’t cross. I can’t make Tyler another lifeline for me to cling onto.
My heart has been broken so many times. First, my dad and then all the boys since that I’ve tried to fill this absence in my heart.
Tyler isn’t a buoy to help me from going under.
Tyler is my friend, and I feel completely at ease with him.
I do not want to jeopardize that just because I want to smooch his face.
I reach for my phone as it buzzes in the pocket of my dress and see a text from Annika :
Anni
On our way home.
Yes, OUR way home.
Me:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t help but release a squeal and burst out of the bathroom. I quickly go change into some light blue overalls and a yellow T-shirt and storm into the living room. Tyler is still lying on the couch, and Dandy is curled on top of his chest. I’m going to have a talk with her later about that.
“They are heading back!” I say as I enter the living room.
“Great! I’ll make us all some breakfast.”
Tyler and I are sitting at my dining table finishing up our breakfast when Annika and Reid return. Reid has his left arm around Annika’s waist as they walk in, and I let out a huge gasp.
“It’s really happening!” I shout, and I can feel my face split into a wide smile.
“You!” Anni points at me. “You traitor!” she says, and I leap out of my chair and hide behind Tyler.
“Hey, easy there, tiger,” Reid says. I peek out from the side of Tyler and see Reid gently lowering Annika’s pointed finger. “I came in here demanding your whereabouts.”
“I heard you fell to your knees, begging,” Tyler quips.
Annika turns around to Reid, her eyebrows raised. “Begging? You were that desperate to find me?”
“Hey, hey, whoa,” Reid says, pointing at Tyler, who puts his hands up defensively. “First of all, I didn’t drop to my knees. Second, I would have if I felt it was necessary. Third, why are you dressed like a minion, Chloe?” he asks as I stand to reveal my hiding spot.
I look down at my outfit, realizing the error of my outfit choice. “Unintentional,” I say. “Tyler made breakfast. Please grab some plates and tell us everything.”
“I’m not sure you want to hear everything,” Reid says, raising his eyebrows at Annika, who swats his chest. Tyler lets out a cough, followed by a laugh, and I return to my seat next to him.
We spend the rest of the morning gathered around our thrifted dining table while Reid and Annika take turns telling us about the past twenty-four hours.
Reid steals a glance at Anni as she describes arriving at the beach and contemplating moving back to Ojai, until she heard Reid calling her in the distance.
She fiddles with a pendant around her neck and says that Reid has been holding on to it since college.
Reid pulls out a black velvet drawstring bag from his pocket and throws it on the table.
“Finally, this isn’t haunting me anymore. It’s now with the proper owner,” Reid says, sitting back and draping his arm behind Annika’s chair.
“You’ve held on to that since college?” Tyler asks.
“Yep, told ya I was crazy about this one.” Reid and Annika share a quiet moment.
Tyler turns to me and says while pointing at the new couple. “See, passion, that’s what I want.”
Yeah, me too, I think longingly.
But it feels too soon, and I just can’t risk making the same mistakes. Tyler will have to stay in the friend zone. Yep, good luck with that, Chlo.