14. Tyler #2
“No, no, it’s okay,” I say, putting my hand on top of hers.
Sparks flare, like a firework dancing on pavement.
The seltzer did nothing but amplify the buzzing feeling I have for Chloe.
I’m drunk on the vibrancy she emits into my life whenever she’s near.
It’s infectious and if anything, the guava alcohol elixir, has relaxed my guard rails I have up.
In a bold move, I slide my hand under her own.
She hesitates before curling her fingers around mine.
Alarm bells and confetti cannons are simultaneously going off in my head, and I try to tamper them both down as she leans into my chest.
I don’t realize I am rubbing my thumb against her wrist until I look down at where our hands are joined.
In this episode of Gilmore Girls, Rory is having a whirlwind romance with Jess, and they kiss.
Chloe turns to me, her head still on my side.
I look down at her and, without convincing myself otherwise, reach my hand to the side of her face and inch closer.
The fireworks are blazing bright in my mind as our lips are nearly touching.
I want to dive in but can feel the sober part of me throwing a lasso around my lust yanking me back.
Just as I decide to ignore it, Chloe pulls back.
Her eyes are still closed so I rest my forehead on hers.
We stay in this moment for a beat. Scooter barks outside, the fireplace crackles, the TV cuts to commercial and our hands are still joined.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” she says finally, and I’d be lying to myself if I said it didn’t break my heart. Her blue eyes peer up to me as we retreat a few inches. “I like you a lot, but–”
“Chlo, it’s okay. You don’t need to explain. I get it. I really do.” I release my hand from hers, brushing a curl behind her ear. I think I heard her heart cracking too. “I think we got caught up in the moment, too many tacos and seltzer.”
“I think I read somewhere they’re aphrodisiacs. We should really be more careful.” Her face breaks into a smile and I can feel the tension between us relaxing.
I huff a breath, “Yeah and we’d be the talk of the town. Can you imagine, you and your landlord?” I chuckle trying to play off the joke.
“How scandalous,” she agrees, pink appearing on her cheeks again. “We’re still friends, though, right?” She asks, almost panicked.
“Of course, this was a blip. All friends go through this. Heck, I almost kiss Reid every week.”
“Why do I feel like that’s actually true.” Chloe grins at me, laughing.
“We’re good.” I assure her.
We resume watching TV, but I can’t help but notice she’s moved slightly farther away from me. Scooter settles in-between us and I try to convince myself it’s for the better.
I wake up on my couch with a tuft of curly blonde hair in my vision and the sun still hiding behind the hills.
I breathe in, and the scent of sweet, soft florals fills my senses, relaxing me.
I flex my hand and feel warmth beneath my fingers.
I look down and see Chloe’s head draped on my chest, her arm snaked around my waist. We really need to stop falling asleep on couches.
I let my eyes drift closed again, not ready to give up this moment. So much for being “just friends”.
I wake up again to my phone buzzing in my pocket.
Chloe shifted and is no longer lying on top of me but at the other end of the couch.
She’s gripping a crocheted blanket around her, and Scooter is curled in the nook behind her knees, fast asleep.
Even my dog is in love with this woman. Whoa, I’m not in love with Chloe.
Am I? I’m not drinking those dang guava seltzers ever again.
I pull my phone out and read several texts from the “Core Four” group chat.
Chloe named it immediately after she added me to the group chat after the first pub night we all had together.
I check the time. 6:30 in the morning. I remember that we are supposed to leave for the airport today.
Annika was up in arms about the trip on Friday.
I really hope Chloe packed before she came over yesterday, or else I really do think Annika will explode.
Annika brought up the idea of the trip to us a couple of months ago.
She was missing her family and thought it would be fun to revisit her hometown.
I’ve never been to Southern California, so I was excited, and Reid was looking forward to visiting again since he used to live there, but I got the impression that Chloe wasn’t as thrilled.
I run through a mental checklist. I have already packed my bag and told my neighbor to check on the animals this week.
I told him I’d help him shear his sheep when spring hits as a favor in return.
Scooter and Dandy are staying with Reid’s parents, who are overjoyed to have two animals in their house.
They are going to pick up Scooter today.
Chloe didn’t bring over any bags, so I don’t think she intended to fall asleep on my couch the day before she traveled.
I can only imagine Annika is pulling her hair out.
I see Chloe’s phone on the table, screen completely black.
It must’ve died. I tap Chloe on the shoulder and tell her I’m going to go pick up some coffee.
Not even twenty minutes later, I return to the house to see Chloe awake and snuggling Scooter, reading a book.
It’s the rock-climbing memoir she gave me.
I started reading it and finished it in two days, and it was incredibly inspiring.
I think I’ll have to take Griff up on his offer next time to go climbing in Yosemite.
“I got you coffee and a treat,” I say, holding up the goods.
She looks over at me, giving me a small smile.
I circle the couch and sit next to her with some space, remembering our agreement from last night.
Both of our phones vibrate; hers is on the coffee table, plugged into a charger cord, and mine is in the kitchen.
I get up to get mine and see her typing away on her phone.
Reid and Annika are getting ready to leave and texting us to coordinate their departure. They ask if we want any coffee. She glances at me from the couch as I stand in the kitchen, draped over the counter, smiling into my coffee cup.
Chloe
Yeah, I already got something.
Reid
And you didn’t ask us if we wanted anything?!
Me
I already got her coffee
Annika
When?
Me
This morning
Annika
It’s 7 am
Me
And?
Annika
What’s is going on?
Reid
It’s happening.
Annika
Chlo…where are you?
Reid
IT’S HAPPENING
Chloe
Noooo. Nothing is happening.
Me
I mean
Chloe
don’t “I mean”
It’s nothing.
Annika
*squint emoji*
Reid
Go on…
Chloe
I came to Tyler’s yesterday to check out the cottage. And see the animals. I fell asleep here.
Nothing is happening!
It’s no big deal!!
Me
Came for the animals, stayed for me.
“Tyler!” Chloe texts and says at the same time. I burst out laughing but look up to see her expression is a mixture of horror and shock as if I cut off a lock of her hair with a pair of scissors and I realize my joke did not land the way I intended.
“I’m joking! I’m joking!” I throw my hands up defensively.
“That’s not something to joke about!” She prances up and runs toward me, and I instinctively run away from her, shrieking.
“Chloe, I’ve never seen you run so fast before.” I shout as she chases me, and I lock myself in the bathroom, and my heart falls to the floor. I clearly crossed a line I didn’t know existed.
Annika
Oh
my
god
Reid
IT IS HAPPENING
Chloe
NOTHING IS HAPPENING
Annika
Whatever, we have a plane to catch
We can discuss this later
Please be ready…in 15 minutes! We’ll be at Tyler’s to get both of you so we can catch our flight to LAX on time.
I roll my eyes because Annika is such a neurotic pre-planner. I still don't know if Chloe is packed. I lean against the bathroom door, taking deep breaths, hoping to crawl myself out of the hole I dug.
Me:
We are like 5 hours ahead of schedule, we’ll make it
Reid
Unless you get distracted…
Chloe
Unless I strangle Tyler
Annika
Oh my god, please. We will discuss this later! Chloe, are you ready?
Me
I ran into the bathroom to seek refuge.
Reid
Chloe, don’t kill Tyler, please, he’s my best friend!
Annika
*eye-roll emoji*
Chloe
I won’t kill him. Just scar him for life
Tyler, tell them you’re pranking them.
Reid
You’re starting to sound like Anni
Me
Yep, huge prankster over here. Chloe likes Scooter more than me anyway.
Chloe
*beagle dog and heart emoji*
I’ll have to stop by our house to get my bags and change into my airport clothes.
Me
Pick us up at Beach Street.
Annika
Ok fine
Be ready. Thirteen Minutes!
See you guys soon! Ojai here we come!!
I can sense her on the other side of the bathroom door. I hear her lean against the door and slide down to the floor. I sit on the ground on the other side.
“Chloe, I’m sorry I said that. It was a mean joke,” I say, hoping she hears me. I don’t know why I don’t open the door and tell her this. After she doesn’t respond, I add, “Still friends?”
“Yes, of course,” I hear her say. I turn around to open the door. She turns and looks up at me, a pensive look across her face.
“Talk to me, Chlo,” I say, sitting across from her, taking her hands in mine.
She releases a breath and gives me a soft smile. “I’m sorry I chased you.”
“It was deserved.” I teasingly nudge her shoulder. “I won’t joke about that again. I promise.”
With her mouth in a tight line, she nods.
I know she’s holding back. There’s a catalog of experiences she has I have no knowledge about.
Things that she’s gone through that I need to be gentle with.
I hope I didn’t betray her trust in my dumb joke, but I promise myself to earn every ounce of respect going forward and to use this trip as a way to understand her more.
Because I can’t imagine how someone who shines so bright could have such a dark past.