25. Cal
Chapter twenty-five
Cal
Seattle wasn’t the same without Noelle. Instead of sharing an apartment with the woman I thought would be my wife, I was stuck with one of the veteran players’ families. Which, don’t get me wrong, was fine. The Lions were good people and their kids loved me. But this wasn’t the plan.
It was supposed to be wedding bliss. Starting a new life with my best friend. Not . . . this.
But looking for a bright side, the locker room here was leaps and bounds nicer than Caldwell’s.
“You’re playing mad,” Myles commented when we finished our showers after practice.
“Keeps me sharp.”
“It makes you sloppy.”
“You’re not my coach.” I slammed my locker. “If you’ve got something to say, just say it.”
“Did you ever talk to her?”
I glared at him. It’d been six months since Noelle ditched me and disappeared into the wide world of who-knows-where. New York somewhere, if her parents’ word could be trusted. “She was my fiancée. We talked all the time.”
“I mean really talk.”
“Where’s this coming from?”
Myles ignored my question and heaped on another. “Did she talk about her family?”
“If you’re gonna lecture me, I’ll walk.” I zipped up my duffel bag.
He grabbed my arm as I tried to turn away. “I’m not lecturing, I’m asking. This affected more than just you.”
The Shepherds always had drama. Noelle called them the Bennet family of the modern era. “Olive was always threatening to run away.” I scoffed. “Never thought Elle would beat her to it.”
Myles’s grip tightened. “There were two people in your relationship, Cal. You can’t pin this all on her.”
I reared back. “You saying this was my fault?”
“She wasn’t okay.”
“You know Elle’s motto: I’m fine. Asking wasn’t gonna change that.”
Myles hummed softly. That annoying habit when he knew something you didn’t. Which he didn’t. There was nothing to know here. “Or maybe she was waiting to see if you cared enough to slow down and see past the rote answer.”
“Rote? Dude, lay off the Shakespeare.” I shouldered my bag.
He clapped a heavy hand on my shoulder. At six foot six, he had two inches on me. “My point is she needed help. She was drowning.”
“You’re projecting.” I yanked away from him. “Just because your dad sucks and left you to handle your brothers doesn’t mean Elle felt the same way.”
Myles’s eyes flashed. And it was the first time I’d seen my unruffled best friend well and truly angry.
“I know what drowning looks like,” he hissed.
Because he’d been there himself. “She wouldn’t talk to me.
I told her to talk to you. She promised she would.
You weren’t listening. You let her down. ”
I shoved him. “You’re outta line.”
He shoved me back. “Man up and look in the mirror! There were two people in your relationship. She made her choices but so did you. Own that.”
He stormed out of the room, leaving a wake of chilling silence. He hadn’t raised his voice, but the icy frost of anger coating the air was hard to miss.
By the time I got out to the parking lot, he was jumping into Sean’s, the team captain’s, car. Even though he was supposed to ride with me.
Myles and I had argued over the years—usually over something petty like who got the last brownie—but I couldn’t remember ever truly fighting with him. Not like this. And I definitely didn’t expect it to be over Noelle.
Despite the heavy workout I’d just finished, I decided to go for a run.
It was that or hit something—and I didn’t have time for jail.
The February drizzle in Seattle matched my mood, and it made me miss Idaho’s dry winters.
I’d only been running for ten minutes, and my socks were already soaked. Yuck.
But the farther I ran, trying to outpace Myles’s accusations, the more they nettled me.
Maybe I had been selfish in how I was looking at this.
I’d lost the love of my life, but Myles and Greyson had lost a friend.
A sister. Family. We were the Fabulous Four.
Until we weren’t. Only Myles and I were left together, with Noelle in New York and Greyson off to Japan for his first posting.
The cocktail of hurt and anger coursed through me with each pounding step.
Maybe Myles was right. Maybe. But that anger was hiding something deeper. Something I didn’t want to admit even to myself.
I was a failure. I’d failed Noelle, the person I loved best in the world. Maybe it was one of my stupid jokes that was the final straw. You weren’t listening. Myles’s words haunted me. But I was listening. Wasn’t I?
Of course I was. Myles isn’t right all the time. I pushed myself harder. If I made a name for myself, Noelle would be proud of me. See I was successful. More than just a good laugh.
The next morning, I leaned against the side of my truck, two to-go cups in hand.
Myles hadn’t texted me for a ride, but I got here early to watch for him so he couldn’t try and weasel his way in without talking to me.
Did I agree with him yesterday? No. But I wasn’t going to lose my best friend because of it.
Grey and Elle were gone. And Myles was only in Seattle temporarily since the team was borrowing him from Caldwell. I needed him.
Myles’s tall frame folded out of Sean’s sedan. His dark hair hung loose around his collar. Odd since he usually kept up on hair cuts.
His eyes locked on me, and he hesitated for a minute before moving towards the arena front doors.
So that’s how it was gonna go.
“Canada,” I hollered, and he stopped, letting me catch up. After handing him the cup, I added, “Are we good?”
His stare was heavy. “Have you pulled your head out of the sand?”
I bristled but took a breath. No point poking the bear. Despite his levelheadedness, Myles could be surprisingly stubborn when he chose a hill to die on.
“You gave me something to think about,” I finally said.
He grunted.
“I’m sorry,” I said sincerely, meeting his gaze. No laughing. No jokes. He needed to know I meant it.
Myles nodded. “Sorry doesn’t fix it, but it’s a good start.”
“Can you help me find her?”
“I don’t do social media.”
“No, you don’t have it,” I said pointedly. “But you can ferret out information like a weasel. It’s uncanny. Probably because Juliet rubbed off on you.”
“Your sister’s good people. Give her a break.”
“She’s sixteen and a blackmailing fiend.”
“If you hadn’t rigged her brakes to her horn and tried to blame it on Grey, I might be more sympathetic.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Hers,” he said firmly as we reached the front doors.
And I shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d always had a soft spot for Juliet.
“So we’re good?” I asked, slinging an arm around his shoulders.
“Actually think about what I said and we’ll be fine.”
And though I didn’t say it, I was silently grateful to have a friend who cared enough to call me out on my mess even if I didn’t agree with him.