Chapter 13
MILES
“Okay but it was at least twenty-five inches. Maybe thirty,” I said as Booker handed me a hot chocolate and adjusted the blanket he’d insisted on wrapping around me.
The fire was roaring, almost too warm for the day, and the whole cabin felt cozier than ever.
Booker had been so worried about me that I was half-waiting for him to take my temperature.
I’d tried to tell him I hadn’t really been cold on the drive back. I’d explained that wool actually puts off heat when it’s wet, but I could tell he felt guilty for the accidental swim I’d taken earlier.
I supposed he hadn’t expected me to be able to swim, but that was one of the few physical activities I was actually good at. I’d been fine. The river was calm, it wasn’t that cold. The most danger I’d been in had come from the trout I’d caught.
And I had caught it, ultimately. With my bare hands, after it dragged me into the water to fight on its own terms.
Booker had helped me get the hook out, taken a picture, and thrown it back in. Just as well, because I’d developed a warrior’s bond with it and I didn’t think I could’ve eaten it.
He chuckled as he sank down on the couch next to me and I tried to suppress a shiver. I hadn’t been cold. I wasn’t cold now.
I pulled the blanket a little closer around myself and wrapped both hands around my mug.
“You’re a real fisherman already,” he said. “Bragging about the size of your catch.”
“Also like Joel,” I said wryly. He’d never missed an opportunity to brag about the size of his most recent catch.
“You miss him?” Booker asked.
I shrugged. “Obviously,” I said. ”I miss Evie, too, and all our other friends. I even kind of miss Robin, sometimes. But I’m here now. And I’m making friends,” I added, looking up at him. “I’d miss you if I left. Or you did, I guess.”
“No danger of that,” Booker said. “Really? Already?”
I stared down into my hot chocolate. “You’re the first friend I’ve ever had that I made myself,” I said. “Which actually sounds so much more pathetic when I say it out loud.”
“I don’t think it’s pathetic,” Booker said gently. “I’m honored.”
Someone else might have just been saying that, but I knew Booker meant it. He was so sincere, always. He made me feel like he actually wanted to spend time with me.
Which, in turn, made me want to spend time with him. I thought, if he’d asked me to go on a ten-mile hike, I probably would’ve agreed. Even at the risk of spraining my ankle again.
“Speaking of which, Seth will kill me if I don’t summon the courage to invite you to my fortieth birthday party,” Booker continued. “So, uh. Would you, maybe…?”
“I’d love to come,” I answered much too quickly, failing to stop myself smiling down into my hot chocolate. Now I felt honored. Booker was surrounded by people who loved him and he’d still found room in his heart for me. “Why would you need courage for that?”
Booker wriggled in place. “Rejection sensitivity, I guess. I, uh. I have ADHD. That’s not a secret, I don’t know why I’m telling you like it is.” He laughed.
“I bet sometimes people are weird about it. That makes it hard to tell them,” I said. “It’s fine though, so does Evie. So like… I’m used to it. I love her most of anyone in the entire world. Is that why you quit law?”
Booker nodded at the fire, sipping his own hot chocolate. “Got it in one.”
“Yeah. Evie was studying law, actually. For about a month.” I smiled wryly, remembering the day she’d told me she’d quit. Specifically, the language she’d chosen to do it. “So you survived longer than she did.”
“Think it shaved a decade off my life, though,” Booker said. “Wish I’d quit earlier. You ever do anything else?”
I shook my head. “Dad wanted me to do something… more professional, I guess. Boring black suit and tie stuff. But I always wanted this. My soul has librarian scribbled on it in crayon. I’ve loved libraries for as long as I can remember.”
“Can’t imagine you in a boring black suit and tie,” Booker said.
I smiled at that. “It’d have to be a really fun tie. I was going to say maybe if Evie gets married, but if she does she’ll have it on the edge of a cliff and make me rock climb up there.”
Booker chuckled.
“You laugh, you have to come with me,” I threatened, and then bit my lip.
I hadn’t meant to jokingly invite Booker to my sister’s hypothetical wedding.
All the same, I wouldn’t have hated it if he came with me.
Not just because there was no one else in my life who would, but because it would’ve been nice.
And I wanted Evie to meet him. To meet this person I’d found for myself, who I really liked spending time with.
I’d never felt like that before.
I wanted...
Shit. I wanted...
I pushed the thought aside in terror and wriggled deeper into the couch.
“If your sister makes you rock climb your way to her wedding ceremony,” Booker said. “I will come with you.”
“Yeah?” I asked, toying with a loose thread on the couch cushion.
“Yeah,” Booker said, in a tone that meant it was a promise. As serious as I wanted it to be. He gave me the gentlest of nudges and sipped his hot chocolate again. “Couldn’t miss you rock climbing for the world.”
I laughed, sipping my own drink and making a happy sound. Booker’s hot chocolate was good.
That made sense. He seemed like the kind of man who’d make good hot chocolates and know exactly when to make them.
“Rude,” I said. “I caught a trout with my bare hands. I’m basically a wilderness expert now.”
Booker snorted, his whole body shaking next to me as he chuckled. “You did, you caught a trout with your bare hands. Proud of you.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Really,” Booker said.
A warm ripple of happiness washed over me. Booker was proud of me.
I sipped my drink again to hide my ridiculous grin. “Sorry we ended up cutting the trip short.”
“Don’t be,” Booker said. “Aside from a few moments of being afraid I’d have to explain to Seth that you drowned and it was my fault, that was the best fishing trip of my life.”
“But if I had drowned…”
“Top five,” Booker joked, grinning again.
I felt like I smiled more around him than I had around anyone since…
Well, in a while. Too long.
“So mean,” I said, letting my head fall against his shoulder. “Are you busy today?”
“I normally keep a very full schedule of sitting alone in my apartment watching 80s movies on Sundays,” Booker said. “But if you need me to do something, I could probably find somewhere to slot you in.”
“Actually, I was hoping we could do more or less that. But umm. Here. And I’m ambivalent on the decade of the movies. And maybe you might stay and let me buy you dinner? Since I didn’t manage to catch it for you.”
Booker looked at me for a handful of heartbeats, long enough that I started to worry I’d said something wrong, that he was trying to come up with an excuse to get out of it.
“Deal,” Booker said. “On one condition.”
“You wanna pick the movie?” I asked. I was absolutely willing to let him, if it encouraged him to stay.
“I’ll trust your taste,” he said, waving me off. “No, I wanna make you dinner.”
“Oh.”
I paused to sip my hot chocolate and remembered the last time Booker had made me food. I’d still been thinking about it three days later, and I hadn’t forgotten how secretly talented he was. Or how spoiled he made me feel.
Who was I to say no to that?
“Okay.”