4
Cole
I’m sat in the back row of the applied performance lecture hall, slouched low in the uncomfortable plastic seat, the kind that digs into your spine after ten minutes.
The room is packed, around a hundred of us from the cohort, all kinesiology and sports science majors crammed in here for the strength, conditioning, and injury rehab module.
The professor’s voice drones on from the front, something about progressive overload and tendon adaptation, PowerPoint slides flickering on the massive screen.
Fluorescent lights buzz overhead, and the AC is cranked too high, making the air smell faintly metallic.
I’m sandwiched between Remy on my right and Matteo on my left, the rest of the guys sprawled along the same row. Back row is our territory; no one bugs us up here.
It’s been a weird few days. The whole team can feel it, like static in the air.
Remy’s off, not just quiet… off. He’s slouched even lower than me right now, hoodie pulled up, staring at nothing while the pen in his hand spins slow circles on the desk.
Matteo nudged me ten minutes ago and whispered, “Is he okay?” I just shrugged because honestly, I don’t know anymore.
Saturday morning set the tone. When he walked out wearing my black tee, I froze for a second.
He didn’t even realise it was mine until I pointed it out.
And then… he didn’t change, he wore it all day.
We’ve got the same build, so it looked like it could’ve been his, but I knew.
And fuck, some stupid part of me liked seeing him in it, liked it way more than I should’ve.
That’s why I tested him, dropped those lines about Hannah’s “whiny sex noises” and the party hookup, watching for cracks.
I hoped after we fucked, we could just snap back to normal, joke about it and move on.
But now I’m starting to think there really is no going back.
He’s barely spoken when it’s just us in the dorm.
At practice he’s mechanical, runs routes, catches balls, but the usual cocky grin, the trash talk, and the way he’d usually strut like he owns the field…
gone. When you look at his face it’s like he’s stuck in a loop, eyes narrowed, lost in whatever war he’s fighting in his head.
Hannah’s back in a couple days and he hasn’t talked to her once.
Not a call, not even replying to her texts.
She rang me yesterday, worried. “Is he okay? He’s ghosting me.
” I fed her the “he’s ill” excuse, then she asked if she could crash at ours for a few nights.
I wanted to say no, badly. The thought of hearing them…
her moans, the bed creaking, him inside her…
twisted something ugly in my gut. I’ve never felt that before, never cared.
But I forced a laugh and said yeah, of course, because saying no would’ve raised every red flag.
So now we’re both apparently thrilled about her return. Sure.
I don’t even know if he’s sleeping. Nights are quiet except for the pacing I hear behind his closed door, low muttering like he’s arguing with himself.
Last night I swear I shut my door all the way, but this morning it was cracked open, just enough to notice.
Had he been standing there watching me sleep?
No, that’s insane; I haven’t brought it up.
How do you even ask that without sounding paranoid?
Hey man, you been creeping on me at night?
Tyler, on Remy’s other side, leans over and nudges him. “Dude, you look pale. Maybe you should go rest or something?”
Remy runs both hands down his face and lets out a nervous laugh that doesn’t sound like him at all. “No… no, I’m fine, bro. Don’t worry about me.”
Tyler flicks his eyes to me, eyebrows raised.
I frown back. Yeah, something’s wrong. I’m pretty sure it’s us…
the sex. He said it was just release, no feelings, no big deal.
But if he’s this torn up, maybe it hit him harder than he expected.
Maybe he’s freaking out about cheating on Hannah, even though he swore it didn’t count. Or maybe… maybe it’s more than guilt.
I laugh it off casually, loud enough for the row to hear. “He’s fine, guys.”
Then I wrap my arm around his shoulders, loose and friendly like we do all the time.
Remy doesn’t tense. He sighs, deep and shaky, and leans into me.
His head drops against my collarbone, hair brushing my neck, warm breath ghosting.
My eyes go wide. Tyler’s frown deepens, confused as hell.
He mouths over Remy’s head: What’s wrong with him?
I shrug, but I don’t move my arm. Clearly, it’s helping him, even if this is weird as fuck. Two big jocks casually hugging in the middle of a lecture hall? People would talk if they noticed. But right now, I don’t care. His weight against me feels grounding, familiar… and terrifying.
I fiddle with a pen on the desk with my free hand, spinning it fast to give myself something to do. Remy’s hair tickles my neck again. I inhale it without meaning to, his shampoo, his skin, the faint sweat from morning practice… and my stomach flips.
Fuck. What is going on in his head?
◆◆◆
The professor finally wraps up, clicking through the last slide on progressive overload and tendon rehab before reminding us about the mini-assignment due Friday. “Don’t leave it until the last minute. It counts toward your final grade.”
I’ve already finished mine; I like getting shit done early so I don’t have to think about it. Remy, though… I’m not so sure. He hasn’t mentioned it once, and these things add up; I’ll talk to him about it later.
“Have a good day, everyone,” the prof says, and the room erupts into the usual shuffle… bags zipping, chairs scraping, a hundred students packing up and heading for the exits.
I nudge Remy’s shoulder where he’s still resting against me. “Come on, man. Time to go.”
He doesn’t move.
I glance up at Tyler. “Dude, is he awake?”
Tyler snorts. “Nope, sound out.”
I sigh and shake Remy’s shoulder a little harder, sitting him upright. “Remy.”
He blinks slowly, bleary-eyed, like he’s surfacing from underwater. “Huh?”
I laugh despite myself. “Lecture’s finished, man. Let’s go.”
“Yeah… sorry.” He rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands and stands.
He wobbles, barely noticeable, but I catch it, and steady him at the shoulders without thinking. He reaches up, pats my hands once like thanks, then lets go. I grab my bag and follow the guys out, keeping half an eye on him.
In the hallway, Matteo falls into step beside me. “You still coming to Jeb’s party this Saturday?”
“Yeah, of course. Should be fun.”
“What about Remy?”
I open my mouth to answer, “Well…”
Remy slides in, right next to me, and hooks his arm through mine like some lovesick high-school girl. “What you guys talking about?”
I stop dead in the corridor and stare at him like he’s grown a second head.
Matteo bursts out laughing. “Dude, what are you doing?”
Remy blinks innocently. “What?”
I shake my head. “You know what. Fine. Whatever. This is normal.”
Matteo snorts. “Yeah. Normal.”
It’s not comfortable, so I yank my arm free and compromise by throwing it over his shoulders instead. At least that looks somewhat like us, nothing weird.
Matteo grins. “Is best-friend clinginess a thing now?”
I shrug, running my free hand through my hair. “Matteo was asking if you’re coming to the party Saturday, Remy.”
Remy looks over at him. “Oh… yeah. Probably.”
“You bringing your girl?”
Remy freezes, just for a second, and I feel his thumb hook through one of my belt loops, fingers brushing the top of my ass. My brain stutters. I stare straight ahead, blinking rapidly, trying to reboot while my pulse hammers.
Remy swallows. “Yeah. Hannah’ll probably want to come too.”
“Cool,” Matteo says. “Anyway, see you later, guys.”
“See ya, man,” I mutter as he heads toward the main road.
The rest of the guys trickle off in different directions, and suddenly it’s just me and Remy walking back to the dorm like this… his arm still slung around my waist, my arm over his shoulders, thumb in my belt loop, bodies brushing.
“Hey, Cole?”
“Hmm?”
He looks up at me. His face is too close, way too close. I gently nudge his chin forward so he’s looking ahead again. My heart’s beating stupid fast now, nerves and confusion and something hotter twisting in my chest.
“Can we just… chill for a couple nights? Before Hannah comes back.”
I frown. “How’s that any different from what we usually do?”
He shrugs under my arm. “I dunno. Like… watch movies together and stuff.”
I swallow hard, keeping my voice casual even though my throat feels tight. “Yeah. Of course.”
He finally pulls away, sliding his thumb out of my loop, stepping back, and I feel the air rush back in. I can breathe again, but it’s colder without him pressed close.
He gives me a small, shy smile, not cocky, not Remy at all, almost… adorable, and says, “I’m gonna go to the shop for ice cream.”
“Ice cream?”
He nods. “You want anything?”
“Uh… sure.”
I reach for my wallet, but he waves it off. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it.”
“Oh. You sure?”
He’s already turning, walking backward for a second before heading off. “Yeah.”
I keep walking toward the dorm, staring at the ground the whole way, replaying every weird moment. A couple nights together, just us. Remy’s acting like a clingy girlfriend on her period.
---
I nearly shit myself when I push the door open.
“Surprise!” Hannah shouts, jumping out from behind the counter with a grin.
My hand flies to my chest. “Oh, fucking hell… Jesus Christ, Hannah…”
She giggles and barrels over, pulling me into a tight hug. “I missed you, Cole, you big bear!”
I laugh awkwardly, forced, and pat her back. “Yeah… you too. I thought you were coming back Thursday?”
She shrugs, stepping back. “I couldn’t wait any longer.”