9. Carson
Carson
Emma pushes open the front door of my dental office and surveys the painty mess Penny and I have become. She reaches for the necklace at her throat and slides it back and forth on the golden chain, biting her lip to refrain from laughing.
I can’t blame her. Penny came with me to the office this morning to work on painting the walls, and we ended up in a bit of a miniature paint war.
A mustache war?
Either way, we have facial hair the color of the sky on a sunny day, and Penny went so far as to fill in my eyebrows too. I’m an inverted Smurf.
“You’ve been busy,” Emma says, closing the door behind her.
“Do you like my face?” Penny asks, bouncing on her feet.
“I didn’t think a blue mustache would look cute, but you pull it off.”
She grins. “What about my dad?”
Emma looks up at me, her eyes crinkling in amusement. The paint drying on my mustache hair and scruff in the style of Shakespeare is starting to feel tight. My smile makes it tug worse. I share a look of understanding with her that makes me want to pull her in for a hug, which is a weird reaction.
Do I not get enough hugs? Penny requires at least three a day, but when’s the last time an adult hugged me that wasn’t my mom? Probably the last time I saw my sister.
Emma doesn’t feel anything like a sister, though.
“Your dad looks interesting, but not nearly as cute as you,” Emma finally says. “Your braids still look perfect.”
Penny giggles, running toward the bathroom to look in the mirror. “I need to check! They need to be beautiful for my first day of school tomorrow!”
“We got a little carried away,” I say, smiling.
“Can I talk to you for a minute? Or is it a bad time?” She glances around the messy office. “I caught your mom on her way to work, and she told me I could find you here.”
“Of course.” I put the paintbrush back in the paint pan and wipe my hands on a rag. “What’s up?”
“Do you remember Kiss the Pig? It’s the fundraiser the library puts on every year as part of the Fall Festival.”
“Is that the one where the loser has to kiss a pig at the fair?”
“The winner, you mean?” She smiles, and it transforms her entire face.
Her freckles are clear against her ivory skin, and her eyes are full of life.
“We put out water jugs in the library and the person to bring in the most money kisses the pig. It entices the town to vote for who they want to do it.”
“Where does the money go?”
“The library. Technically, our sister foundation, Friends of the Autumn Ridge Library, is putting it on because we aren’t allowed to fundraise directly.
I help a lot with these things, though, and they’re important.
All the money goes back into the system and local programs. We couldn’t fund our summer reading program without them. ”
“Sounds interesting.”
“We like to ask local businesses to take part because we see an increase in community participation that way, and we can put a jar in the businesses to increase our funds. Sadie from Keller’s Bakehouse agreed to be one of our contestants, and James from Carver Maple Farm is our second person.
” She plays with the strap of her bag, her slender fingers working the leather as if she’s nervous.
“I was wondering if you want to be our third person. We’ll put up a picture of your face next to your business name and logo, so you get some advertising out of it too. ”
I smirk. “You want to watch me kiss a farm animal?”
“I know how capable you are already.” She snaps her mouth closed, as if she didn’t mean to say anything like that. “You deserve it. Don’t you?”
But she’s shown her cards. This woman thinks about our kiss, and she isn’t alone.
“If you’re trying to say I’m a pig for lying about leaving town that night, you’re off.
I figured you were from Burlington, and I can’t see anyone from Burlington.
” I rub a hand over my blue beard. “I can’t see anyone at all right now. I have to focus on my daughter.”
“That’s valid.” She glances toward the bathroom where Penny disappeared.
“But hey, I’d still like to be friends. If it means getting back in your good graces, I’ll kiss a pig.”
“Bold of you to assume you’d win.”
My laugh is so loud it’s almost jarring. “Nah, I’m sure Sadie will take it. Everyone loves her.”
Penny runs into the room and picks up her paintbrush. “Are you going to help us paint? You have to get a mustache too.”
Emma laughs. “As much as I’d love a blue mustache, I need to get baking. It’s my twin siblings’ birthday today, so I need to make some cakes. Anyway, think about it, Carson. You can let me know later, but I want to start collecting money soon.”
“I don’t have to think about it. I’m happy to help.”
Her smile could break through the gloomiest storm with a solid ray of sunlight. It physically warms me from the inside. “Thanks. I’m glad to hear it.”
“I’ll be in later this week to make massive donations to the other two people.”
Emma’s laugh is magic. “Bring Penny and I’ll help her get a library card.”
Penny’s green eyes brighten. “Oh, can we? Please, Dad!”
“Sure thing, Nickel.”
“Do you like to read?” Emma asks.
Penny nods vigorously.
“What’s your favorite book?”
“Laura Ingalls and Dork Diaries.”
Her smile widens, and she shoots me a conspiratorial look before turning her attention back to Penny. “I love how well-rounded your reading is.”
“I haven’t read the one where Nikki goes to Paris. My best friend Sarah read it, and I was supposed to borrow it from her, but then we moved.”
“We might have it on the shelves. I’ll look.”
“Thanks,” I say.
“No problem.” Emma’s still talking to Penny. “If we don’t have it, we can probably request it from another branch.”
“Can we pick it up when we come in?”
“If it’s there, I’ll pull it from the shelf for you as soon as I get to work.”
“Thank you!” Penny races across the room and throws her arms around Emma’s waist.
“Pen,” I say with warning.
“It’s fine.” Emma’s arms go around her back, squeezing lightly. “I understand how it feels to be excited for a book.”
This is almost painful to watch. I clench my jaw, swallowing the emotion building in my chest.
“Wait!” Penny shouts as Emma goes to leave. “Would you rather be forced to sing every time you hear a song or dance when you hear music?”
Emma stops, her hand resting on the doorknob. She looks thoughtful, and I want to thank her heartily for not brushing my daughter off, but I have the feeling we aren’t special. I bet Emma always makes people feel like they have worth.
“Sing,” she says decisively. “I couldn’t handle being forced to dance to the music at a funeral. But I could sing so quietly, no one knew.”
“You’re really smart,” Penny says.
“Which one would you choose?” Emma asks.
I know for a fact she’s going to say dance. The girl was always making up dances with her friends back home. She also answered this one for me at breakfast this morning.
“Sing,” Penny says, her blue face crinkling into a smile. “Just like you.”
When Ben offers to get started on the cabinets on Monday, I can’t tell if he’s doing me a favor or if he really has the time. I finish showing him the rest of the office and explain what I’m hoping for.
“Each exam room needs the same set up?” he asks, gesturing down the hall.
“Yeah, drawers on the bottom, cabinets on top.”
“We can do deep drawers here.” He points to the lowest area. “Two of them, then a shallow one on top.”
“That sounds good. I’ll need some of them to have locks.”
“Easy.” Ben runs a hand through his dark hair, then leans back on the Formica countertop. “You open this week?”
“I have to start taking clients if I don’t want to go totally bankrupt, so yeah. I’m planning on a soft open Friday. I don’t want to drive everyone to Burlington just because this is taking too long.”
“Vance already did that, man. You can’t make it worse.”
It’s true. The old dentist was so cranky and ill tempered, most of the town drove the thirty minutes to Burlington so they wouldn’t have to go to Vance. “It’s a good time of year to open a business, at least. There are so many town events coming up to promote this place.”
“Is your face on everything? Because then half of the population will be lining up to switch over.” He’s teasing, but I had a reputation when I lived here.
“You sound like my mom.”
“She didn’t see half the girls you went through in high school.”
“Fair. You’re worse than her.” I rub my tired eyes. It was another sleepless night with Penny’s elbow in my back—we had to share a room while her walls dry. She was determined not to ruin her hair, which made her take way longer to fall asleep.
Honestly, I was surprised the braids have stayed in as well as they have.
I couldn’t help mulling over every minute detail of my interactions with Emma, too. The woman is friendly, but that’s it. Any contact we’ve had, any blurring of the lines between friendship and more, has definitely been on my part.
But I don’t want a relationship. I want nothing to do with any woman again as long as Penny’s living in my house. She deserves better than to fall in love with another mother figure who will only abandon her. The only ones I want in her life are the ones who are going to stay—my mom and my sister.
“How are you doing?” Ben asks.
“Penny started school this morning, so it feels real now.”
“Have you talked to Jen?”
“I sent her a picture of Penny’s first day outfit, but she hasn’t responded yet.”
Ben checks his phone and notes the time. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. It’s infuriating, but I can’t make her be interested in her child.”
“I’ll never understand.” Ben sighs. “How can you not adore that kid?”
I agree, but it’s too painful to continue down this line of conversation. Especially when his marriage didn’t work out, either. “I don’t know if we should agree to not talk about Maven or what…but how are you?”
“Your sister…” He rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, we’d better not talk about it. I’m fine, man.”