22. Carson
Carson
Today, I might possibly be kissing a pig, and it’s the most action I’ll have for the rest of the year.
But I woke up to the most delicious loaf of jalapeno cheddar sourdough on my porch, which is probably what I smelled baking last night at Emma’s house, so things could be worse. A slice of that, toasted and slathered with warm melty butter, and I was in heaven.
Now, it’s almost closing time and I’m still thinking about that bread waiting for me on my mom’s kitchen counter.
The door opens to the Ednas, filing in with their sharp gazes and an aura of mischief. Barb has already checked out and Megan left an hour ago, so the only person here with me is Paul, who is cleaning up the exam room after the last patient.
“How can I help you ladies?” I ask, stepping out from behind the desk and leaning against it. “I don’t think either of you are due for a checkup.”
“Not quite,” Edna B. says. “But soon.”
“We brought you a surprise.” Edna G. pats a brown bag she’s holding by the handles. “To celebrate the opening of your office.”
I immediately regret my uncharitable thoughts.
Edna B. gives me a knowing smile. “But first, we’d like to hear about Kiss the Pig.”
“Or any other kissing you might have been doing.”
The women deliver something between a giggle and a cackle that makes me fear for my reputation. “I kiss one girl every single night as she goes to sleep.”
There’s a collective gasp.
“Penny, my nine-year-old. Have you met her yet? She’s fantastic.”
“Oh, you.” Edna B. swats at me. “Such a tease.”
“You ladies can keep your surprise. I don’t think I have any good secrets to pay for it.”
“The nerve!” Edna G. draws in a breath, her dark hair still not moving an inch in her fake umbrage. “It’s for you.”
The women hand it over and I open the bag, pulling out a fluffy, white, oddly-shaped ball. “You crocheted this for me. It’s so…”
“You’re holding it wrong.” Edna G. steps forward and flips it around. “It’s a tooth.”
A giant tooth, bigger than my hand, that’s been intricately crocheted and stuffed with something soft. I’m touched. “This is getting a spot on a shelf. Thank you both. I love it.”
“You know, if you want, we can set you up with a nice young lady—”
“I’m good for now,” I say quickly. “But thanks for the offer.”
“Okay, I won’t press the issue.” Edna G. puts her hands up in surrender. “But I think our little librarian is the sweetest creature. If you don’t snatch her up, that Seth just might.”
These women are incorrigible. Also…what do they know about Seth? Is there more information than I’ve gleaned? I’m so tempted to ask them, but that’s dangerous ground to be treading. We’re on opposite sides of this war, and I don’t want to give too much away.
But…I need to know. “Seth is her friend,” I say vaguely.
They blink at me like owls, steady and still. They’re smart, and they know what they’re doing.
It’s too much for me. “Fine. Tell me. What do you know?”
“Nothing.” Edna G. gives me an innocent look. “Only that Emma was seen out on another date with him over the weekend.”
“I saw them, too.”
“And getting cozy in the library,” Edna B. adds.
“Also something I got to witness firsthand.”
“And holding her hand in line for the maple farm treats just a second ago.”
Holding her—how do they even know that? How do they know everything? My teeth clench together. That’s not something I saw, and I don’t like it one bit. Before I can reply or dive deep into why I want to squash a tomato in my fist like a barbarian, the door opens and Penny bounds inside.
“Can we go now?” she asks. Mom comes in behind her and greets the Ednas, then introduces them to my daughter. I’m practically buzzing with a need to get to that booth and see this hand-holding rumor firsthand, to find out if Emma is off the market for real.
“Your father is holding the tooth I made for him,” Edna B. says.
Penny shoots a disgusted look my way before clocking the crocheted blob in my hand. She lights up. “I want one!”
A tooth. She wants a stuffed tooth.
“I’ll make you something else, dear,” Edna B. says.
“Actually? I really love tigers.”
The Ednas ask Penny more questions, so I point to the back and Mom gives me a nod. I find Paul hiding in the furthest exam room. “You’re good to go home.”
“Thanks, doc.” He’s sheepish. “Sorry I ran as soon as they showed up.”
“No worries. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He gathers his things and I log out of my computer, powering off the lights in everything but the waiting room. The safety lights stay on, and it’s already getting dim outside while the sun makes its early fall descent.
“Ready?” I ask, throwing my bag over my shoulder when I make it to the waiting room. The Ednas are asking my mom something about the mayor, and I know they’re only needling her for information for the library vote. If she’s secretly dating Mayor Monroe, she hasn’t told me about it.
She’s a good person, because she goes out of her way to listen and answer what she can, though I notice her being vague about some things. Too vague. “We’d better get going,” Mom says. “I’m sure we’ll see you out there.”
The Ednas cluck and disappear through the door like two hens. I wonder which one is the top of the pecking order. Maybe they both reign supreme in this town.
“The Maple Farm booth sounds good,” I say offhand. “One of my patients said the cream puffs are incredible.”
“I fed Penny at home, but don’t you need to eat first?”
“I ate,” I say. A few beef sticks and a bag of pretzels, but it counts. Time is of the essence.
“Okay, let’s go.”
We lock up as the sun is all but gone, the sky twilight and cool. Penny is fiddling with a bracelet on her wrist, walking ahead of us like she knows right where to go.
“Any better today?” Mom asks.
“It was still slow, but more people are signing up for consultations. I think it’s possible it could pick up over the next few months.”
“Don’t give up, Carson. I’m sure it’ll flourish soon. You need to give it time.” Mom rubs my arm, giving me an encouraging look.
“Now that I have a lucky giant plush tooth, I’m sure things will be great.”
Her smile grows. “That was so sweet of them.”
“Until they tried to tell me that Emma and Seth are dating. Am I that obvious?”
Mom tugs on my arm. We’re in the center of Main Street while people mill around, checking out the booths.
Penny crossed the road to the petting zoo and is leaning over the fence to pet the big Highland cow.
“I haven’t heard any gossip about the two of you, so maybe they were fishing for information. ”
“They were successful, then. I practically handed them my feelings on a gold platter.”
“What feelings, honey?” Mom is watching me so earnestly, her blonde brows pulled together in concern. “Last we talked, you weren’t going there.”
I look into her deeply concerned eyes and wish I could shut my emotions off like a valve, like I could hit a big off switch so I don’t have to feel the things pulsing through me right now.
Ignoring them hasn’t worked. Treating Emma like a friend only makes me want to be around her more.
I’m in a bad spot, and I put myself there, so I can’t even blame it on anyone else.
Especially not Emma. She’s been nothing but wonderful.
“For what it’s worth,” Mom says now, lowering her voice and leaning in. “Emma is nothing like Jen.”
My eyes shut, like closing out the world might hold off my problems, too.
“Did you see the llamas, Nana?”
I focus sharply on my child.
Mom nods. “They look big.”
“So big!” Penny agrees.
“Let’s go get some cream puffs,” I say, taking Penny’s hand and heading in the direction of the Maple Farm booth. Emma and Seth are nowhere to be seen when we reach it, but James is selling baked goods with his mom, so we buy a little of each to try.
“See you tonight,” James says, handing over the cream puffs last. “Might want to start layering on some Chapstick.”
“I was thinking a protective barrier of Vaseline?” I say. “I have some when you need to borrow it.”
James laughs. I lift my hand in a wave while walking away.
Penny devours a maple cookie. “This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”
We get stopped in the street by one of my mom’s friends, who admires Penny and how big she’s gotten, then move on until we’re stopped by another one.
Living here for the last few decades has given my mom a solid community and friend circle.
The people she goes to church with, has lunch with, paints her kitchen with—they’ve all stepped up and become a part of her life, which is clear by how they all know who Penny and I are before we introduce ourselves.
To be fair, I’ve known some of them for most of my life, but not all.
“We’d better head toward the petting zoo,” I tell her after we leave a particularly chatty Mayor Monroe.
Is the man trying to date my mom? He always talks to us, but I don’t remember the last time he gave my mom so much attention.
It’s been an hour since we had those cream puffs and the event is getting close.
“I need to check in with Emma and learn what my responsibilities are.”
Penny runs off with Mom to check out the pigs and try to figure out which one is getting a smooch tonight. The teenaged FFA kids let them inside to pet the animals after making them wash their hands. At this point, Penny is probably considered a regular, but I’m not mad.
A crowd is beginning to gather around the microphone area, the speakers facing away from the animal pens, and Emma is standing next to a giant jug chock full of money.
She’s so beautiful, arms crossed over her chest while she nods along to whatever Seth is telling her. Her auburn hair glows red under the streetlamps. She pulls her jewel green sweater tighter around her, showing off her curves while she tries to keep warm.
I could probably warm her up.
Seth leaves and Emma inhales slowly, scanning the crowd.
Her gaze stops when it lands on me, her eyes lighting up.
My entire body flushes at her response, eager to cross the small amount of road separating us.
There is no mistaking the chemical pull between us, and honestly, I don’t really want to pretend I don’t feel it anymore.
“Hey,” she says, sounding breathless. “You ready?”
“Is anyone ready to kiss a pig?”
Her laugh is medicine.
“So, who won?”
“Not telling.”
“How about one tiny hint?” I ask.
“You have to find out with everyone else.”
“Sheesh.” I try to frown, but it’s hard to do around her. “I thought we were friends.”
“I’m friends with all three of the competitors this year.”
“So James and I are basically the same in your mind.”
She blushes the prettiest pink. “No, I’m not as close—uh…what I mean is that we have been hanging out more recently. I don’t presume—”
“You can presume whatever you’d like.”
Emma’s eyes cut to mine swiftly. She can tell something has changed. Her intuition is unreal. “What’s happening here?”
My mouth remains closed, my gaze tracking all the details on her face.
Her speckled freckles, deep brown eyes the color of lush cocoa powder, her full, soft lips.
I’m aching for her right now, to sit on a sofa beside her and hear every small detail about her day.
To tell her my worries and let her give me solid advice.
To complain to someone who will let me vent my feelings before bottling them away to become a dad again. She is the perfect woman for me.
Emma possesses all the good qualities I respect in my mom and sister, and none of the things that drove wedges between Jen and I.
I don’t pretend to think she’s faultless, but I’m starting to think maybe she’s the perfect foil for where I’m at in my life.
I always imagined Jen and I would grow together, that as we’d change, we would do so in a symbiotic way.
That didn’t happen, but looking at Emma, I wonder if we would change and grow together—two vines who wrap around one another instead of pushing off and growing in opposite directions.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” I finally say, my words low and raw. I need to know if she thinks I could be perfect for her, too.
Emma’s mouth closes, her eyes growing wide. She’s so still, I wonder if she’s holding her breath. “Carson—”
“Hey!” Sadie says, sidling up to us with James right behind her. “Who’s ready to get hog wild?”
Emma laughs, but it’s strained. “Good thing they aren’t hogs, or we’d probably have to pay you more. Or, at all.”
“A little porcine action for charity never hurt anyone,” James says.
I rub my hand over the back of my neck. “I’m starting to wish I’d put more money in both of your jars.”
“Your mom came in the other day and made a hefty donation in your honor,” Emma tells me.
I glance at the petting zoo right as Mom is leading Penny away from the hand washing station and toward the crowd. Excellent. She loves me so much.
“Should we get started?” Emma asks.
“Let’s do it.”