21. Alec
Chapter twenty-one
Alec
I glance at my wristwatch and groan when I note that we still have thirty minutes until this event ends. These are one of the things I do not look forward to when I finally take over Ace Corps because events like this overwhelm and suck the life out of me. I would probably get someone to do it for me.
I miss Jasmine, and she’s home alone while I’m stuck here. There are hundreds of other things we could be doing. I hate it.
“Stop glancing at your wristwatch every five minutes,” my father murmurs, nudging me in the stomach. “It’s rude.”
We have our private table and are the only ones seated at it. How’s it rude when no one can see me? I try to pay attention to what the speaker is saying, but my attention is really divided, and the action is futile, so I go back to thinking about Jasmine .
It's been two weeks with her in France, and honestly, I’ve never had so much fun in this country before. I’ve already been to all the places I took her to, but visiting with her offers a fresh perspective that I really enjoy.
I involuntarily glance at my watch again, and this time, my father’s nudge is forceful enough to hurt. “Ow!” I glare at him.
“Stop it. You’ll never network if people think you’re in a hurry, and I wonder why you’re in a hurry.”
“Hello, my lady is home alone,” I whisper back. “And so is yours.”
“Mine loves to be alone,” he said jokingly. “I’m sure she wishes I don’t return.”
I laugh. “Somehow, I don’t doubt that.”
“Me too.” He smiles at me before turning to the stage again.
I feel more comfortable talking to my dad about Jasmine than my mother. I’m unsure if I’ll ever get to that stage with Mom, and it’s sad. My mother and I have never been chummy, but the gulf between us has never been this wide. As a teenager, I wondered why she never used to laugh or smile at me, and I was desperate to gain her love.
As an adult, I don’t care anymore. It is what it is. I love her, but I’m content because this is what she chose.
I manage not to glance at my wristwatch until the events come to an end, and I rush to my feet, grateful it’s finally over. My father rests a teasing gaze on me as he rises, buttoning his jacket. “Where do you think you’re going? ”
“Aren’t we leaving?”
“No, son.” He puts his arm around me and leads me toward the crowd of people already laughing and exchanging handshakes. “We’re going to network.”
“Why?” I groan. “We’re the biggest name at this event. We should sit back and let people come to us.”
“Said like your mother,” he said with a smile. “But we won’t be the big name without all the little names. We need these people, so we’re going to talk to them. Now.”
Unfortunately, we’ve hardly taken more than two steps when we run into Eve and Lugard Sicily. They don’t look very happy to see us. Eve glowers at me, and her annoyance is only matched by her father’s. However, one thing about the wealthy is how they’ll maintain strict politeness in public.
“David Ace.” Lugard nods at my father, keeping his hands stuffed in his pocket. “Alec Ace.”
“Lugard,” my father says, smiling. “It’s wonderful to see you.”
“Hmm,” he grunts, and my father turns to Eve. “You look beautiful, Eve.”
“Apparently not beautiful enough for your son, David.”
“Eve!” Lugard glances at her with disapproval. “Stop it.”
I pull away from my father and take a step towards Eve. “Can we talk? Please?”
“I doubt there’s much to talk about.” She shakes her head. “Now, if you’ll—”
“Please.” I step in front of her. “Just this once.”
She stares silently at me for a fleeting moment before turning towards the door. I nod at the men and follow her. She doesn’t stop walking until she’s out on the veranda, where it’s a little quiet.
“What do you want?”
“To apologize.”
She rolls her eyes and starts to walk away. “Remember when we were teenagers?” I ask, and she halts. “When we met for the first time since our betrothal.”
“Yes,” she answers stiffly.
“You liked a boy, and you told me you wanted to marry him when we were older. You were a little upset about the betrothal.”
“But you assured me we weren’t getting married right away and that I could be with the boy if I wanted to,” she says.
“Yes. Eve, it’s my turn.”
She turns to me, her eyes shining with understanding.
“I’m in love with someone else,” I confess. “Her name is Jasmine. I’ve loved her for years, but we just got together, and I want everything to go smoothly. ”
Eve shakes her head and takes a deep breath. “I understand,” she says finally. “And whoever she is, I really envy her. I wish I had a man who would stand up for me like this.”
“Eve.” I touch her face lightly, eliciting a smile. “You’re beautiful, and I’m sure you’ll find someone soon enough. He may not be as handsome as me, but you’ll have to manage.”
She erupts into laughter. “Oh, Alec, I wish we were better friends. Why didn’t we try to reach out more to each other?”
“Because deep down, we were afraid.” I nod. “I know I was.”
“You’re right.” She nods. “I was terrified, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt because you are handsome, charismatic, and honestly, I don’t know if I would have picked better if given the choice.”
“Now you have the choice,” I tell her. “Let’s see how well you do.”
“Thank God you’re not a therapist. You suck at this.” She holds out her arms, and we embrace each other for a long moment. “Friends?”
“Sure.” I smile.
“One more thing,” she says softly. “I owe you an apology.”
“Why? You didn’t do anything.”
“I called the paparazzi.”
“I knew it.”
“I’m sorry.” She lowers her head, and I can tell she’s truly remorseful. “I was already falling for you, Alec, and wanted the relationship to become public because I could feel you stalling.”
“Eve…”
“But it’ll go away,” she smiles reassuringly. “Because there’s no substance to it. We don’t even know each other that well.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I should have handled things better, but I went straight to Lillian and told her everything. She was so mad. Did I do permanent damage?”
I think about how my relationship with my mother has deteriorated since that day and smile. “It’s nothing new.”
“I’ll talk to my dad,” she says. “I’ll try my best to make things right.”
“Thank you, Eve.”
“Take care, Alec.” She kisses my cheek and walks away.
When my father finds me minutes later, the hall is almost empty. “I wanted you to meet the Governor of New York since you love to spend so much time there, but he was in a hurry and couldn’t wait.”
“He was here?”
“Of course, he was here. He promised to meet up with me next week for lunch, and you’re coming with me.”
“If I’m still in France, that is. I’ll let you know if I’m free. ”
“You’re free,” my father says as we head to the garage. “So, you talked to Eve.”
“Yup.”
We stop by his car while Damien waits in mine, parked behind. “So?” There’s hope in his eyes, and I hate that I’ll have to squash it.
“We’re calling things off,” I tell him. “But I explained everything to her, and she understands better.”
“I was hoping—”
“Dad.” I frown. “Please don’t do this.”
“Alec.” My father stands straighter. “I like Jasmine as a person, and I like her for you. But your mother will eat her up.”
“I don’t care about my mother's opinion. I will defend Jasmine as long as it takes.”
“That’s cute.” Father pats my shoulder and slips into the backseat of his car. “Make yourself available for lunch with Governor Eric. If my son is going to spend all his time in New York, then the number one man must know who you are.” He waves at me as his car drives off.
Damien eyes me skeptically as I enter the passenger seat. “You look murderous.”
“I am murderous!”
“Is it your mom?” He asks, pulling out of the garage.
“It’s my family. The entire family gets on my nerves.”
“Let me guess—you wish you were born into a normal family.”
“Yes.”
“Well, let me tell you, we have our problems, too,” he said, laughing. “But I'd be happier if we had those problems while being rich.”
“You’re respectfully telling me to be grateful.”
“Respectfully.”
“Just because you say respectfully doesn’t mean it’s respectful, Damien.”
He laughs. “I try my best.”
“Step on the gas,” I order. “If I don’t see Jasmine in five minutes, I may pass out.”
***
As soon as Damien parks the vehicle in the garage, I hurry out and sprint towards the house.
“Master Alec.” Damien is behind me. “Can I come in for a few minutes to get some food?” he asks.
“There may be something in the kitchen,” I reply to him, barreling through the front door. “Knock yourself out.”
Since Jasmine and I are together, Damien is staying in a hotel a few streets away .
I jog up the steps. “Jasmine?”
I enter our room, and it’s empty, which shocks me for a second. There’s something eerily quiet about the room. The bed is made so well it feels like no one has been lying on it. The lights are off, and the curtains are drawn.
My heart starts a slow beat in my chest as I walk farther into the room, looking around the space like an answer will drop onto my head if I look hard enough.
“Jasmine?” I walk to the bathroom and peek in, but she’s not there.
“Jas!” I check the closet, which also comes up empty.
By now, sweat has broken out on my forehead, and I have a feeling that something is terribly wrong. I leave the room and check all the other rooms in the house, panicking when I find each one empty.
“Jasmine!” It’s clear that she’s not in the house, but I can’t help it. I whip my phone out of my pocket, hurrying down the steps and into the living room as I dial her on the phone.
Damien drifts out of the kitchen with a plate of food in his hands. One look at me, he returns to the kitchen and reappears without the food.
“Master Alec?” He calls worriedly. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t find Jasmine!” I redial her number. “And I can’t reach her either.”
“What?” Damien’s mouth falls open. “She doesn’t know anywhere in France. Did she mention that she was going out?”
“Here.” I hand my phone to Damien. “This is her number. Dial it on your phone.”
I don’t know exactly what is going on, but I have a sinister feeling blossoming in my chest, and I hate it.
“I can’t reach her,” Damien says. “Have you looked everywhere?”
“I have!” I growl. “She’s not in the fucking house, Damien. Don’t you think I would check everywhere before panicking?”
As I run my hands through my already-disheveled hair again, my gaze falls on the envelope on the center table. It wasn’t there when I left this morning. I’m sure of it.
“That wasn’t there this morning.” I point to the envelope, rushing to grab it from the table. There’s no name on it, and I tear into it to see a neatly folded letter.
There’s Jasmine’s name on the headline, and my heart lodges itself in my mouth as I read. When you come home to find a letter like this from your girlfriend, it’s never a good thing.
Alec, the time I’ve spent with you has been the most amazing moment of my life. You proved your love to me in every way, and even as I write this, I can still feel it. However, there are so many things that tug at us, and I don’t think I can do this anymore.
I’ve realized that nothing I ever do will be good enough for your mom, and I cannot cope with constantly having to prove myself. Even if I decide to stay, what about my family? I’ll be subjecting them to the condescension and hate your mother will throw their way. We all deserve better than this .
I love you so much, but I cannot be with you anymore. I’ve booked a flight back to New York, and by the time you see this, I will have left. I do not want you to chase me; my mind is made up. Thank you for everything, and I wish things didn’t have to be this way. This hurts more than anything, but it has to be done.
Goodbye, Alec.
I read the letter three more times before I drop to the floor. I stub my toe against the table, but I don’t feel the pain because the one in my heart is more than enough. My heart is bleeding profusely, and there’s a sudden ache behind my eyes. It’s tears. I can’t remember the last time I cried.
Damien snatches the letter out of my hands, and a bit later, he swears. “Fuck!” I don’t think I’ve ever heard Damien swear like that before.
“Maybe you’re right about having a normal family,” he says, dropping down beside me. “Should I get the jet ready?”
I feel many things at once.
There’s anger. It’s directed at Jasmine. I’m furious with her, and my body trembles with the force of it. How could she leave without speaking to me first? Did she think this stupid letter would be enough?
I would have defended her before anyone, and she just decided to leave. How does that even make any sense? I already chose her over my mom, my dad, even over the fucking wealth of the Ace family. I chose her!
This hurts more than anything, but it has to be done. That’s bullshit, Jasmine, because if it hurt, you wouldn’t do it. No one deliberately hurts themselves!
“No.” I shake my head. “Let her go.”
“What?” Damien barks. “You can’t possibly do that.”
“It’s what she wants.” I glance at him. “I’ve done everything I can to prove that I will always have her back over my family, but she doesn’t accept that, so I’ll let her go. I can’t possibly murder my family before she believes me.”
Another emotion I feel is irritation at my family. My mother has stayed away from us for the past few weeks since we’ve been in France, but apparently, the bad impression she left on Jasmine at their first meeting was enough to send her running back to New York without a goodbye.
My father has been great, but I hold him responsible also because he never cautions my mother. He lets her do whatever she wants, no matter how foolish it is. He’s scared of my mother, and it baffles me.
“We should go after Jasmine,” Damien says.
“No.”
“You’re upset.”
“Fuck, yes, I’m upset!” I slam my fist on the table. “She chose to leave! Without speaking to me first! That’s on her. I’m not chasing her across the continent because she decided to let my mother get to her. I’m done with this!” I head toward the stairs, and Damien follows me .
“Master Alec, please understand that Jasmine is scared. I’ve known your mother for years, but I’m still scared of her. Imagine how Jasmine must feel being directed with all that hate and dislike.”
“I had her back, Damien.” I stare into his eyes, feeling the terrible threats of tears behind my eyes. “I spoke up for her in front of my mother. I basically told my mother to go to hell because of Jasmine! What more could I have done? Murder my mother? Come on!”
I march up the stairs, and Damien follows. “Damien, get out of my house. I want to be left alone.”
“I can’t leave you like this.”
“I’m fine. I’ll be okay.”
“No, you won’t. You are in love with her. It doesn’t go away.”
“I’ll learn to live with it.”
Damien grabs my arm just before I go into my room, and the soft look in his eyes causes my control to slip, and the first sob tears out of me. As he pulls me into his arms, I dissolve into painful sobs.
“This is so unfair,” I cry. “How could she do this? She knows how much I love her. How can I possibly go on?”
Damien stays silent, patting my back gently as I cry. I try to rein in my tears, but the more I struggle, the harder they fall. My heart is breaking into a million pieces, and each piece is still calling for Jasmine because she’s the only one who can piece them back together.
I love her with every breath in me, but the last thing I’ll do is go after her, even though it’s what my heart is telling me to do. There’s no point. My family will always exist beside me, and she’s shown that she cannot live with them. Unless we’re planning to elope, there’s no point chasing her to New York.
I feel sick, and my stomach heaves with the need to puke. I pull away from Damien and rush into my bathroom, throwing up into the toilet.
“You must be coming down with something.” Damien says softly.
“I’ll be fine.”
He touches my forehead and frowns. “Your temperature is rising; I’m calling the doctor.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” I snap. “I’m fine.”
I lean my head against the tiles and sniff, the tears drying on my face. I’m miserable, and I wonder how long my life will continue this way.