15. Chapter Fifteen ~ Brayden
Chapter Fifteen ~ Brayden
It was a perfect night. Dinner. Talking about life; some of mine and Mia’s favorite things to do. There was no arguing, no angry emotions being thrown around. It felt like old times. Like we were right back where we were when it all started. It felt amazing.
When we got back to our summer home, I thought about our very first kiss. We were at the cabin, hanging out under the stars. I was angry at my mom for going on a binge and forgetting my birthday. I was sixteen that year. She was supposed to be making a new woman out of herself but never did.
Mia found me pouting on the deck and came to see if I was okay. I thought I was okay, but I wasn’t. It was the first breakdown I had since I was a baby. I mean a real breakdown. There were punches being thrown in the air, tears, snot, wailing. The whole ugly cry phase you went through when you just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Shuan, it’s okay, tell me what happened,” Mia said. “Please, just tell me.”
Her voice soothed me like a newborn. It was the softest, most angelic thing I had ever heard. Her touch was gentle on my back and my cheek, making me feel safe and vulnerable. I don’t ever remember a time where I felt so safe.
“I’m tired of her shit!” I exclaimed. “She’s never going to change. The one person who’s supposed to love me and take care of me, she’s never done it! I wish I could disappear to a place where no one can find me!”
“It's okay,” she said. “It’s okay to be done. It's okay to be hurt. It's okay to be angry. Give yourself all the time you need until you feel like yourself again. There's more to life than running away. If you run away from the things that shape who you are instead of facing them, you’ll be running for a long time.”
I watched Mia’s heart break for me through her eyes and I realized how sweet of a soul she was. That was the night I fell in love with her. I thought if I can see how much she cares about me through her eyes, then this is the woman I want to marry.
Through all of my turmoil with my mom, not having my dad, and me running wild without a care in the world, Mia had always been in my corner. She always wanted the best of me and pushed me to be the best. Her and Uncle Joe both had a lot of love for me, but Mia’s was more nurturing. And that was what I craved in my life.
I thought so deeply about our relationship I didn’t realize I'd slipped into a trance on the couch with Mia sitting right next to me. Her voice trailed into focus when I snapped out of it but by then, it was too late. I didn’t hear a single word she said.
“Geeze, is my voice so boring you have to tune me out?”
“Not at all,” I laughed. “Sorry about that. I got lost in thought.”
“Lost in thought about what?”
I thought about not answering because I didn’t want to get my hopes up. But it was too late for that too. They were already up, and I was high off the thought of us giving our love one last try.
“About us,” I said. “Do you ever think about what life would be like if we were still together?”
“Shuan?” she blushed. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about us, Mia. Tell me you haven’t thought about us all these years?”
Her smile wavered on and off while her eyes searched the room for an answer. The answer was right in front of her. I was the answer. I needed her to look me in the eyes and tell me that I was the only one who felt what I felt, and it was the truth. But she couldn’t. Because it wasn’t the truth. She felt it too.
“You feel it too,” I said. “We can try to deny it and fight it all we want, but it’s there. And apparently, it isn’t going anywhere. Not until we deal with it.”
We sat in silence for a moment. There was a laundry list of things I wanted to say, but I waited for her to say something first. I felt like I said enough; my feelings were laid out on the table and if she had any questions about them, I was an open book.
“What, are you saying we should give us another try?” she asked. “Do you think one summer is enough time to mend all the things that broke us?”
I couldn’t read her tone. She sounded tense, but genuinely curious or hopeful. I was hopeful. To me, our fix was an easy fix because I knew that I was ready to get my shit together for her. However, I couldn’t just expect her to ignore her feelings to let me prove myself.
“I think we should try,” I said.
She stared into my eyes, and I stared into hers. I inched closer to her lips, hoping she wouldn’t pull away before I had a chance to kiss them. She didn’t pull away. My lips landed against hers and a jolt of electricity fired us both up.
“Again?” she whispered as I pulled her on top of me. “We’re really doing this again? I don’t think we should be doing this, Shuan.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
She continued kissing me, running her fingers through my hair like a madwoman. My hands trailed all over her skin; her breast, neck, back, and ass. I asked my question again between savage kisses, but she didn’t answer. Her answer was kissing me while ripping off her shirt.
“Do you think we can work?” she panted as she helped me pull down my pants.
“Do you?” I asked, removing my shirt. “I think we always worked. I'm different now.”
A seductive smile crossed her lips, and she leaned in for more kissing. Her tongue slithered in and out of my mouth like a snake, making me rise like a flagpole that was ready to hold its prize.
“Ok,” she said. “We’ll go slow. This isn’t a relationship right now; we’re seeing where things go.”
“Ok. That works for me.”
I was on cloud nine. It didn’t matter to me if we were in a relationship or not, as long as she rode me into oblivion and made my toes curl. She knew exactly how I liked it. Fast, slow, hard, rough. She liked it that way too. I had a bit more strength in my legs that night to put her in another position. And that was what I did.
With her face pressed against the back of the couch, I plowed into her from behind the way she loved. Her fingernails gripped the couch as she moaned and screamed for more. With my hands on her round cheeks, I stroked her deeper, harder, faster; every which way she hollered out for me.
“Oh yeah!” she shouted. “You’re the best I ever had. I don’t want anyone else.”
I felt a tingle in my shaft when she praised me. It felt like I got stiffer and had a boost of extra stamina. I flipped her over and eased my frame in between her legs for more; slipping inside of her wetness.
Sometimes, it amazed me how sexual she was. Outside of sex, she was this bright and sunny girl who looked innocent, until you made her angry. But in the bedroom, she was like a sexy she-devil who snatched your soul and never gave it back.
“How did you get so good at this?” she moaned.
“Practicing with you,” I said.
I made love to her like a porn star that night. She was so tight and so wet that it was a miracle I didn’t spurt all over the place the minute I entered her. She gave me the chills and made my manhood yearn for her in ways I'd never felt.
“I’m close.” I groaned but continued stroking her.
“How close?” she teased, trailing her nails up my back.
That did the trick. Her fingernails gilding against my skin made me lose control of my stamina and empty myself into her like before I had a chance to remove myself.
“Oh my God,” she moaned. “That was a lot.”
I could hardly catch my breath. I could hardly move. I could hardly form a thought after the orgasm I released. It was intense; probably the best I ever had.
“You have to stop doing that,” she chuckled as she held me against her naked chest. “We don’t want to end up pregnant.”
“Sorry,” I panted. “You’re right. We won’t do it again.”
“We?” she laughed. “That’s all you, buddy.”
When I was strong enough to move again, I got myself up and got dressed. She did the same. That time didn’t feel so awkward afterward. I figured it was because we had a conversation beforehand about what we were doing and what our intentions were. I liked the feeling after sex that night. It felt normal. Like we were in a relationship and were casually having sex.
“I’m going to soak in the tub,” she said. “I’m sure my body will be sore in the morning. Do you need help with anything before I go?”
She looked so sexy standing in front of me with her hair all wild, I thought I might need more of her.
“What if I need you?” I asked.
She snagged at her bottom lip while giving me the most seductive look ever. Her hips swayed as she walked closer to me and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. She then turned around and gave one last look back.
“Call me. If I'm awake, I'll come.”
The way she said ‘come’ was magical. I knew she meant in more ways than one. That was the fun about Mia when she was in her sexual energy. She knew how to be frank and modest at the same time. I'd never had sex with a woman who was able to leave something to the imagination the way she did.
When she went upstairs, I went into my bathroom and ran myself a bath. Mine wasn’t as comfortable as hers because of my legs, but the plastic coverings that Olga had left for me helped out a lot.
While I soaked in the warm water, I let my head, and my emotions fall in line with each other. I didn’t want to overthink how I felt for Mia, or how she felt for me. I wanted to do exactly as she said and take things slow.
Since we were older, I didn’t think taking things slow would be a hard task. But the more I thought about how grand life would be if we got back together, the deeper I fell into the rabbit hole. I wanted a life with Mia. I had always wanted a life with Mia. Tragedy struck and tore us apart, but I felt like fate came back around to grant us another chance at love.
I might have felt it a lot more than she did, or maybe she was just afraid to let herself fall into me completely because of the way we ended the first time. Whichever it was, I swore to myself that I was a changed man, and I would do the inner work it took to get her back completely.