25. Chapter Twenty-Five ~ Brayden
Chapter Twenty-Five ~ Brayden
After I came clean to Mia, she went ghost on me. I must have called her every day for two or three weeks straight and each time, I got no answer. After a while, her voicemail automatically picked up, which let me know she blocked my number altogether.
I called from different numbers, sent emails, and messages through social media. I even had Uncle Joe call her a few times, and she didn’t answer him either. I thought about paying her a surprise visit at her mom's place, but I wasn’t sure she was there. After the many fights they had, I thought she packed up and went back home before summer ended.
Her being mad at me was understandable, but I felt like she was pushing it. I kept Trent’s secret because he asked me to. Had that not been the case, I would have told her, and she knew it. She just wanted a reason to hate me. That's how I started to feel after not getting an answer from her.
I could barely focus on my healing because I was so angry and anxious to talk to her. Therapy had slowed up. I was still moving around and working out my legs because I was ready to go back to work, but mentally, I wasn’t all there anymore. So much so, I called my captain and asked him to let me come back early, even if it was for desk duty.
“I need to be there,” I said. “I don’t have to do any physical activity yet, but I need something to keep me from going insane.”
“You aren’t cleared yet, Brayden. We can’t have you here at the station while you’re still injured. It’s a liability I don’t want on my conscience. You don’t have that long left. Just ride it out. Go out and chop lumber if you have to, but you can’t do it here.”
None of my pleading and convincing worked on him. He was a stern man who stood his ground, and even taught me a few pointers on how to stand mine. I had to respect his decision and take another route to keep myself sane.
Instead of staying in the cabin and wallowing in my misery, I started hanging out with my work buddies. Since I couldn’t work and had no real excitement in my life anymore, I started drinking and hanging out later than usual. I got so caught up in the nostalgia of it all, I ended up calling Mia one night, drunk, and leaving her a nasty message displaying my frustration with her.
I said everything I felt. Everything I wanted to say years ago. I called her a brat, told her how selfish she could be at times, and how unforgiving and nagging she was. I said whatever came to mind in order to hurt her and make her feel the same way I felt. Some of those things I didn’t mean but a lot of them, I did. They were the truth, and as much as I loved Mia, she needed to hear it.
“Why don’t you just give it a rest, guy?” one of my buddies asked. “It’s obvious you two can't stay on a good page to save your lives. Maybe it was all for sex and that’s it. You know that's a thing, right?”
Hit and run was what he called it. I was well aware that it was a thing, but I didn’t want that with Mia. We had too much history, too much love and respect for each other to treat each other like a piece of meat. I wanted her as my woman; someone I respected, not some fling I'd catch whenever it was convenient.
“Do you believe in love?” I asked, drunkenly. “Mia’s not just some girl I want to call up whenever I want some company. She's actually a good woman, someone with substance. I've known her for a long time, and I don’t want to treat her the way you treat every thirsty chick in this bar. There's more to life than having a hit and run. You'll realize that someday.”
There I was, drunk off my rocker giving out love advice. I didn’t feel like I knew the first thing about love, but that night, I seemed to have all the answers. Sure, I may have slurred and rambled on and on for what seemed like hours, but I had a lot of frustration built up inside and I needed to get it out before I exploded.
“Love is for suckers,” he said. “The last time I thought I was in love, I ended up with a woman who cheated, got knocked up, and tried to blame me for the baby. If that’s what women think love is, I want it to stay far the hell away from me. That's for sure.”
I had to laugh at that one. If I were ever in his shoes and Mia got knocked up by someone other than me, I told myself I would have probably felt the same way about love. But after remembering the feeling I felt whenever I was around her, I didn’t know. I loved her so much. So much that I would have done anything for her, even if she didn’t understand it.
I loved her so much; I was willing to bear everything; lay out every single emotion I had inside just to get her back once again. I felt like I needed her. I felt like my life would never be complete without her, and I was determined to do whatever it took to make her see that. Even if it meant making a complete fool of myself.
“Has Beck cleared you back to work yet? I think you need to get back on the truck as soon as possible, before you go so soft on us that you’ll be pushing paperwork for the rest of your career.”
The rest of the night was a blur, up until the end of the night when my ego kicked in and willed me over to see Captain Beck. I left the bar and went to the fire station to talk to him, and who did I run into? None other than the infamous Nate. He was on shift that night and as always, ready to give me a hard time.
“Look what the cat drug in.”
The antics started the minute he saw me. Captain Beck wasn’t on shift, and it was just him and the guys. I felt a little overthrown because I had been there longer than Nate, but there he was acting as if he was the captain.
“I could have sworn Beck gave you specific orders not to be here.”
Nate stepped into my path with his chest out and shoulders broad as if he were prepared to stop me from taking a step further.
“It’s not a great night, Nate,” I growled. “If you were as smart as you think you are, you would stay out of my way. Besides, I'm only here to pick something up, then I'll be on my way.”
“I’m sorry,” he laughed. “But I can’t let you do that. If you tell me what you need though, I can get it for you.”
I ignored him and continued up the ramp to go to my locker. When I got close enough for him to touch, he pushed his hand into my chest. I grabbed it and bent it back so far, I thought I'd snap it in two. Of course, he hollered out and tried fighting me off, but it was no use. Nate wasn’t nearly as strong as I was in the heat of the moment.
“I said stay out of my way!” I barked.
“You don’t know what tree you’re barking up, Knight!”
He wiggled his hand free of my grip and knocked us both to the ground. While we rolled around, tussling and punching at each other’s ribs, I felt that old thrill again. The thrill I got whenever there was a blazing fire, and I was on the front line controlling it.
“Hey! What the hell is going on down here!”
The rest of the team ran over to break up the fight before either of us got too bruised and bloody. We were both fighting with all of our might before we were ripped apart and I was thrown out like a bag of garbage.
“Brayden! You're not supposed to be here! You need to leave before I have to call Beck and you end up fired for good!”
I tried forcing my way inside again; drunk, stupid and full of rage, but everyone banned together and kicked me out again.
“Are you guys really choosing that piece of shit over me!?” I shouted. “I’ve been here much longer than he has. I have just as much right to be here as all of you!”
“Just leave, Knight,” Nate taunted. “Before you lose your job completely.”
I thought about charging for the door one more time, but I gave it up. I heard Beck’s voice in the back of my mind warning me to get lost, before he fired me for good. As I walked away, I fought with myself not to turn back. It started to rain down over my head, making me even more angry with the way the night turned out.
I walked a few minutes before I heard a car pull over to the sidewalk and someone called my name. I recognized the voice right away. How could I have not? It was the voice I'd been dying to hear for the past three weeks.
“Brayden, what the hell are you doing walking in the rain? And why are your clothes torn?”
I stopped walking, but I couldn't bring myself to look at Mia. I was still angry with her too, and even though I could hear in her voice that she was angry with me, she still stopped to make sure I was okay.
“Get in the car, Brayden. Seriously. You don’t need to be walking in the rain.”
I was hesitant, but I gave in after a moment. When I got inside, she glared at me for a moment before putting the car in drive and pulling away from the curb.
“What the hell happened to you?” she asked. “What, did you get drunk and get into some stupid bar fight?”
“What do you care?” I grunted. “Did you pick me up just talk crap to me? Because if so, you can drop me right back off and I'll call my own ride.”
“I picked you up because I saw a pitiful soul walking in the rain looking like a crazy person. But if you want to get out, be my guest.”
She didn’t stop the car for me to get out, she was just talking crap. So was I. The last thing I wanted to do was walk in the rain or have to wait on a driver to come get me. Besides, I wanted to talk to Mia. There were a lot of things we needed to clear up. Both of us.
“So, are you going to tell me what happened?”
I let out a sigh but prepared myself to tell her what happened. I knew she would put the blame on me and tell me to get my shit together, and maybe it was something I needed to hear from her. Truth be told, I was lucky to hear anything from her at all.
“I got into a fight with a coworker.”
“Didn’t Captain Beck tell you to stay away from the firehouse until you were cleared to go back to work?”
“Yep,” I said.
Mia shook her head and continued to drive. She was over me and my bullheadedness, and I didn’t blame her. I was over it myself.