Chapter 15 Jax
Chapter fifteen
Jax
Icouldn’t sleep. Not only because there was an unintended passenger on board—one who would sell out her lord for a few flimsy promises and some coin—but because something was bothering me.
And not my side, either. Sofie had indeed done a poor job of healing me, and returned to her bedding in a fluster when the wound wouldn’t close.
Strange. I would’ve thought someone like her would’ve been used to the sight of blood or an open wound. But I suppose if you used magic, you didn’t have to deal with such messiness.
Instead, Safira sang quietly to dull my pain while she stitched my side shut, Omar hovering and giving orders to Jovus for more boiled linens.
Cleaned and nicely stitched, I could no longer blame the wound for unsettling me.
I tried to tell myself it was all the excitement of the past night’s events, or the massive headache brewing along with the coming storm, or the fact that a rosy sunrise was turning the soft blue light of morning into a stormy crimson. Still, I could not sleep.
It was not lost on me that I was telling myself a lot of things of late, trying to convince myself the obvious was not true. Somewhere along our journey, I had begun to feel…differently about Sofie.
And that was the last thing I wanted. For while she was my best hope for safely recovering the treasure and breaking the curse, I had seen my hopes dashed so many times before.
And with it came the shattering of my heart. Not every time, of course. But this was how it started. First I saw my unfortunate bride in a different light, then began to respect her in a new way. And after that…
I couldn’t consider what came after that. It only led to heartache. Besides that, part of me believed that the sorceress who’d made the curse took extra delight in killing the brides I fell for.
A soft gasp escaped Sofie’s lips. I bolted from bed, fear gripping my heart and shortening my breaths. I was on my hands and knees at her bedside in a moment, shaking her roughly to wake her.
I couldn’t lose her in her sleep. That just wouldn’t be right. A mighty sorceress like her should die fighting.
Sofie’s eyes fluttered open. The moment they focused on me, confusion dented her pale brow. I couldn’t help myself. I reached out and smoothed away the line.
“I don’t have a fever,” she mumbled. I withdrew my hand quickly, hoping the red light peeking through the curtains wouldn’t reveal my embarrassment. “Why did you wake me?”
“You were restless. I thought something might be wrong.”
She pulled back her blanket. Sofie was in her drab traveling clothes again—almost a shame.
She had been so beautiful in that enchanted gown.
“I set the enchantment to expire two hours after dawn. Probably disturbed my sleep when it vanished.” She yawned loudly, not bothering to cover her mouth. “So you do know about the dreams.”
I couldn’t help myself. A smirk lifted the corner of my mouth. “Dreams of me, wife?”
“Ha! You should be so lucky.” Sofie rubbed at her eyes. “You knew the sorceress took your brides’ lifeforce while they slept. You must have guessed she was dream-walking, trapping them in their dreams until she could overpower them. But you didn’t say that. Why?”
Was that disappointment I felt? She wasn’t even angry with me. She sounded as though this were a common and trifling occurrence, as if I’d forgotten to buy more jam for her breakfast while we were in port.
Actually, knowing what I did of Sofie, she’d probably be more wrothful if I’d done that. No, instead, she sounded wholly unsurprised I hadn’t told her.
“I guessed it was something like that,” I murmured. For once, I was unable to own up to my actions and had to look away.
I was so used to hiding the extent of my own magic for strategic reasons that I hadn’t thought to tell her the truth.
There was a reason all the brides shared the captain’s cabin with me, even if Amarylis was the only wife to ever share my bed.
Now, I just felt stupid. My magical skills had never been the right kind to offer much protection while the brides dreamt.
But Sofie—if I had told her, she would’ve known what to do. And as it turned out, she figured it out on her own.
I’d gotten lucky this time. But skill was so much better than luck.
Sofie sat up, stretching, then pulled the blankets tighter around her.
“You’re cold?” I asked.
“Too little sleep.”
I stood from the floor, crossing the cabin to retrieve a blanket from my own bed. “Here,” I said, trying not to drape it over her, the way my instincts bade me to. That would be too caring, and caring for her was a dangerous thing, for so many reasons.
“You didn’t answer my question,” she said, frowning down at the blanket as if providing it were some veiled insult. “Even if it was nothing but a guess, why wouldn’t you warn me?”
“Superstition?” I rubbed at the back of my neck, abashed at my inability to abandon my lies. “I didn’t want to invite her into your dreams. You might dream of her after the suggestion of meeting her there.”
“She’s been in my dreams many a time,” Sofie said nonchalantly. “From the night you forced me to marry you, I think. I’m fine. I’m fine,“ she repeated when she saw what must’ve been abject fear on my face.
“So I was right,” she said after a beat. “How many died from her spirit invading their dreams?”
Curse this morning light, my head was throbbing. I busied myself adjusting the curtains, trying to block out the sliver of now fiery orange light that revealed far too much. Nothing I did seemed to keep the sunrise from infiltrating our cabin.
My cabin. I was captain here.
“Four,” I answered, my voice rough. “Four were taken while they dreamt.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You think I can’t handle myself?” Sofie demanded, the traces of sleep leaving her voice. “A fairy godmother of Elchion can handle a little dream magic just fine, thank you.”
I kept my back to her.
“I know you can handle yourself,” I said quietly. “When it comes to magic, I’m used to feigning ignorance.”
“Why?”
“Because it surprises my enemies. And because I didn’t go to a fancy magic school, or properly apprentice. And also because I’m used to hiding the truth about the Bride—about what she can do—to win over new wives to the cause.”
“Notice that I figured it out for myself, and yet I haven’t run away screaming into the night. Not even once.”
“It’s true. You haven’t.” I couldn’t quite bring any levity into my voice.
“I’m fine, Jax, really. The Bride can try me all she likes. She’ll just wear herself down. Protection spells are second nature to me—better ones than would’ve been taught in the Bride’s day.”
I hesitated, still not able to look at her. She’s fine. Sofie is fine. But no matter how many times I repeated it, my heart still pounded. “I think she gets stronger, the closer we get to the Isle.”
“Then I’ll be ready for her.” She sounded so confident. So sure of her abilities.
I stalked back to my bed, wishing the light away as I settled back into my bunk. The soft rustle of blankets suggested Sofie did the same.
But I knew I would not sleep. Not until I spoke of what was on my mind, keeping me awake when I shouldn’t be sparing it a second thought.
“I answered your question,” I said at last. “Will you answer one of mine?”
Sofie sighed. “Fine.”
“Why did you help Marigold but curse an infant princess?” I asked. “You make no sense to me.”
Sofie was silent for a few heartbeats. “I’m a balancer.”
“So you keep saying.”
“Is that not enough? Or will you finally admit you don’t have the slightest clue what that means?”
I cleared my throat. “I have the general idea.”
“Everyone has the general idea, but no one seems to really understand it, do they? A balancer is tasked with maintaining order in this world’s chaotic magic.
It’s like water sloshing in a vessel. If there is any one place it’s concentrated, it will tip toward that end, emptying the other side.
Except when it tips back—and it always does—it will be wild again, unusable by most magic-wielders.
That’s the current theory of magic preservation, with plenty of evidence to back it.
It’s why the position of balancer was created. ”
I hesitated before speaking again. “What’s that got to do with the child?”
“It’s not to do with her at all, but with the idiots bestowing her with magical blessings and boons to curry favor with her parents.
Not one but three fairy godmothers arrived at court before me, each one lavishing the babe with great magic.
The magic of glamour, so she’d always be beautiful.
Magic to dull her temper, so she would always be patient and understanding and slow to react.
The magic of enhanced sight, so she would see what others did not and therefore grow in knowledge.
Three powerful, beneficial gifts. Which means that I, as the last to arrive, had no choice but to gift her a curse so powerful that her kingdom wouldn’t run out of magic before the next harvest. So yes, from time to time, I help someone helpless if I can. It’s my way of balancing the ledger.”
Her words were running together, her tone growing darker as anger crept in from the memory. And how could I blame her?
“You’ve been forced to play the villain,” I said gently.
She scoffed. “I suppose you’d know something about that.”
“Not at all. I volunteer myself to play the villain. Therein lies the difference. Villainy should always be a choice.”
That earned me a half-hearted laugh from Sofie. It was better than nothing. Better than seeing her so angry and hurt, or catching the glint of a tear rolling down her cheek in that dragons-blasted sliver of light.
I still had questions for her. Why did you have to look so beautiful last night? Are you trying to make me fall for you? But I would not ask them. I could not.
So I turned away to face the wall, resigning myself to rest without sleep.