17. “WELL, THIS AINT OVER, NO, NOT HERE. NOT WHILE I STILL NEED YOU AROUND.” #3
“What’s to understand? The fishery is our family’s legacy.
It pays for the mansion you live in. It puts gas in your car so you can disappear on those weekend trips you love to take.
It pays for your hotels.” He laughed coldly when he saw his brother’s shock.
“Don’t look so surprised. I’m the one who pays the credit card bills, remember? ”
“I’m not asking for a handout. If you need to cut me off—”
“Stop. Like that’s even a possibility.”
Something flashed in his brother’s gaze, something real. Something determined and scared. “I’m just saying, I need to do this for me right now, so whatever you need to do… If I need to find another way to support myself—”
“For fuck sake, this is ridiculous,” he said as calmly as possible, even as his pulse pounded in his temples. “It’s more than a business or a seat on the board. It’s your name. Doesn’t that bring you any pride?”
He, again, dropped his gaze and laughed without humor. “Pride…” he muttered. “What does that even mean?”
Soren braced his hands on the island and blew out a long breath.
“Pride means knowing you’re good at something and not apologizing for it.
It’s going after what you want and refusing to let anyone take it from you.
” His voice turned rough when he thought about Jocelyn.
“It’s showing up when people need you, even when it costs you on a personal level.
It’s being better… than the men who came before us. Better than Dad.”
“I can’t spend my whole life living in his shadow. I can’t be something I’m not for other people’s sake.”
“Then do it for yourself, Logan. Be something you can be proud of.”
“I’m trying.” When his brother’s voice cracked, he realized this went a lot deeper than the company.
Soren’s current misery came from not fully realizing what others needed from him, and he made a promise to do better, not just for Jocelyn, but for everyone he loved. And he loved his little brother very much.
“Look, Logan, I know things have been chaotic since Dad died. We’ve had a wedding, I took over as CEO, now there’s a baby on the way. I’ve been busy—”
“Busy? Soren, you’re never around anymore.”
He was about to argue that that wasn’t true, but there was more truth to the accusation than he wanted to admit.
“Don’t you see,” Logan said gently. “That’s Grey’s life and yours. Not mine.”
“But you’re a part of it. We’re all a part of it because we’re family.”
“Yes, Soren, family. And I’d rather have you as my brother right now than my boss. I don’t need another version of Dad telling me how I’m letting down the family. I’m never going to be like you and Grey.”
“That’s not true. You are like us, but you’re also free to be whoever you want. We can find a position for you that fits.”
“Please stop.” Logan rubbed his temples. “I wouldn’t leave the company if it wasn’t something I felt I really needed to do. I need to take some time for myself, to figure my life out. Can’t you respect that?”
Unfortunately, he could, which meant he had no choice but to let him go.
The thought of losing their leverage on the board terrified him. This week was supposed to be a hole-in-one. Now, nothing felt certain.
“I’m fucking everything up,” Soren muttered, then groaned.
“Seems that way sometimes,” Logan agreed, cutting him no quarter.
The truth weighed heavily between them. Soren needed a minute to think.
He brewed his brother a cup of coffee as requested, even if it was just an excuse to buy himself more time. They could both use the excuse.
When the machine quieted, Soren screwed a lid on the cup and set it in front of Logan.
“Thanks.” Finally, Logan asked, “Have you talked to Jocelyn?”
He met his brother’s gaze, finding no delight in his eyes. “I guess you know about us.”
“I sort of figured it out when you both got super weird outside of Salt & Ember that night.”
He swallowed tightly. “I fucked that up, too.”
“So fix it. You obviously care about her a hell of a lot more than I’ve ever seen you care about anyone else.”
He laughed, the jolt feeling more like a bullet to the chest than any sort of tickle. “I don’t know if I can.”
The silence between them stretched. “Do you love her?”
This time when Soren laughed, it came out defeated. “Yeah. I love her like crazy.”
“Then you have to fix it.” Logan blew out a sigh that sounded as if he’d been holding it in for years. “We’re like three princes who don’t know the first fucking thing about being kings.”
King’s head lifted off the floor with a whine.
“Tell me about it,” Soren admitted in a low voice. “I’ve been working on her for twenty years. I had her for a blink and I fucking ruined it.”
“She cares about you, you know. A lot. Anyone can see it.”
“She’s scared. I scare her.”
“Yeah, you can be intense.” Logan chuckled when Soren looked as if he’d sucker punched him. “Aw, come on. You’re not that scary.”
Soren arched a brow.
“You’re not Dad,” Logan amended, and it was possibly the greatest reassurance anyone could offer.
“Thanks.”
“Hey, what are brothers for?”
Soren inhaled and then exhaled slowly. “I need you on that board, Logan. The vote this week, it needs to pass. Without you and Greyson, there’s no guarantee we’ll have the backing I need, and I’ve worked for over a year making sure everything—”
“You’ll have my vote. But then…”
Soren nodded, accepting his terms. “No matter what, you’ll always have an office there.”
“Thanks. Maybe one day I’ll see it.”
Just then, his phone buzzed, and he nearly dislocated his arm pulling it from his pocket so fast. “Thank fucking God,” he breathed.
“Is it Jocelyn?”
“Yeah.” He opened the text and the ground seemed to fall out from beneath him.
It never hurt so much to be right.
A picture came through with a whoosh. It was of him and Olivia Aldrich from the gala on Friday night.
“Everything okay?”
He couldn’t remember how to talk. Didn’t know what to say.
Tossing his phone on the counter, he turned his back on Logan, his hands balling into fists. Any chance of ever fixing things with Jocelyn was just shot to shit.
That was it.
It was over.
Not only had he let her down, she now knew he’d been at an event with Olivia.
“Soren, what the fuck? When was this taken?” Logan had helped himself to his phone.
“Friday,” he said through gritted teeth, frozen.
“You cheated on Jocelyn—”
“No, I didn’t fucking cheat on her!” He twisted and looked Logan dead in the eye. “I would never cheat on her. I… She… It was Warren Aldrich’s event. Of course Olivia was there. She’s a fucking viper, who obviously set this whole thing up and somehow sent this picture to Jocelyn.”
“Why?”
“Because she has this delusional idea that she has some sort of fucking claim on me!”
“Hold on.” Logan frowned. “Aldrich. Is this the same Warren Aldrich on the board? The one you’ve been sending us emails about, with the shipping company.”
He was shocked his brother had read the emails. “Yes.”
“Soren, this family is fucking with your life, and you’re thinking about giving them a ten-year, multi-billion dollar contract? Dude, what the fuck are you thinking?”
“I’ve put months into this deal.”
“I don’t care. You love her. That means you protect her. Who gives a shit how many contacts the fucking Aldriches bring to the table or how deep their pockets go. This,” he flicked the phone in disgust, “is trash.”
He couldn’t believe Olivia would do this to him. She knew there was nothing between them.
Did she honestly think a move like this would endear him in any way?
What must Jocelyn have felt when she saw that picture? Hurt. Betrayed. Deceived.
It was all bullshit. But without context, she wouldn’t know that.
He pressed a hand to his chest. “I think…” He couldn’t breathe. “I think I’m…” He swallowed. “I think I’m having a heart attack.”
“What?” Logan was on his feet and rounding the counter, at his side in seconds flat. “Shit, Soren, you’re turning red. What should I do?”
Soren lowered to the floor. The air thickened until he could no longer draw breath into his lungs. Each shallow and insufficient gasp crushed his chest cavity like a hollow tin can, collapsing inward as though his ribs were closing like a fist.
His vision tunneled, the edges of the kitchen softening into grey static. His heart beat in forceful punches that slammed through his chest from the inside out.
Sweat broke over his skin in rivers.
Logan spoke, but he sounded too far away.
Soren reached for his brother. Scared. His depth perception was off, and his hand cut through the air, unanchored and falling, as he gasped for breath that refused to meet his lungs.
Pain exploded in his chest, and he shook violently, wondering if this was it.
Logan shouted. Words were muffled and far away. Something about an ambulance.