Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Felix
I wave the printout of my new diet plan that Edison gave me, unable to help the grin that stretches across my face.
“It’s so simple! Did you see how simple it is?
I can easily follow this—it’s not too big a change from how I usually eat during the off season, anyway.
More protein? I can do that!” I’m practically bouncing with excitement.
Dáithí takes the printout from me—possibly to avoid being slapped in the face with it—and tosses it onto his coffee table. “We saw, sweetie. It’s why I just DoorDashed steaks instead of ordering pizza for dinner like I planned.”
I pull an apologetic face and make myself sit on the sofa like a normal person, even though I really want to dance around the room. “Sorry. I know I’m out of control.”
“Do not be sorry,” Jared orders. He’s been smiling since I walked in and explained how awesome my afternoon was. “This is amazing news, and we’re so happy for you.”
“We are,” Dáithí agrees. “We know how hard this puberty has been. I can’t believe nobody mentioned to you that athletes need extra support. Aren’t half your family doctors or something?”
Shrugging, I say, “Trust me, I plan to bring that up. Although I guess it’s not any of their fields, and aside from supporting me, none of them is that interested in sports or athleticism.
” Not that I’ll say any of that. I’m totally milking this until they’re writhing with guilt.
Then I’ll graciously forgive them and accept their offers to make it up to me by letting me be the one who gets to choose what takeout we order when Dad fucks up our food. Every. Time.
“The important part is things are going to get easier now, and you’re no longer on your coach’s shit list,” Jared points out. “All it took was telling the truth.” A thoughtful look crosses his face. “There has to be a way for me to make this a teaching moment for my students.”
Dáithí and I look at him incredulously. “You’re going to tell five-and-six-year-olds a story about puberty?” I shake my head. “Hey, kids, telling the truth is important when you’re so mad that you hit your friends with a hockey stick.”
“Or when you pop a boner in public and it won’t go away,” Dáithí adds. “Sure, Jared. That’s not going to get a lot of questions from the kids… and complaints from their parents.”
The sound Jared makes is half snort, half laugh. “Okay, fine, I might have to let this one go. I just hate to waste a good teaching opportunity.”
That makes me laugh, and it feels so damn good. Different from every other time I’ve laughed lately.
When my chuckles finally fade away and I focus back on my friends, they’re both watching me with a mix of indulgence and wariness.
“What?”
Jared pulls a little face. “Are we going to talk about it?”
“About what?”
“You inviting the subject of your inconvenient boners to dinner tonight,” Dáithí says bluntly. “Oh, hey… does this mean the never-ending, super-intense sexual arousal is going to go away too?”
My good mood pops like a balloon, and I sigh.
“We didn’t go into that too much, but Edison mentioned that sex hormones behave independently of the rest, so the new routine probably won’t impact them much.
He and Coach seemed uncomfortable when they were hinting around whether I have a partner or not, so I told them I had that part under control. ”
“Didn’t we just establish that telling the truth is the best option?” Jared scolds, and I give him a “be so for real” look.
“Would you want to talk about your sex life with your boss? Or about the fact that one time last week, the smell of the ice made me hard? I’m gonna pass on that, thanks.”
“Fair call,” he murmurs.
Dáithí won’t let it go. “So the flag’s at full-mast permanently, huh?”
Jared chokes on his mouthful of wine while I glare at Dáithí. “Not permanently, just for a while longer. And it’s not always.” Thankfully.
“Just when you smell ice, or the sun shines, or you drink coffee… or a certain colleague of mine is in the vicinity.”
They both stare at me expectantly, and I try not to squirm.
“Something like that,” I mutter.
Dáithí leans forward. “Tell us again, why did you invite Ari tonight?”
Dammit. “Look, don’t make this weird, okay? He… we’re friends.” Kind of. Barely.
“Friends,” Jared repeats. “Not to be mean, but since when? Things were a little bit better between you at the game last week, but I wouldn’t have said you were besties.”
“We’re not,” I snap, annoyed. “But we both want to put the past behind us and be friends, so we’re trying.
He was a good friend to me today—supportive and encouraging—and when I thought I might get fired, he was all ready to call a friend at CSG and find out what my legal rights are while I’m in puberty. ”
“Aw,” Dáithí says. “Don’t get me wrong, Fe. I’ve known Ari a long time, and I like him. He’s polite and respectful, fun, and easygoing—most of the time. I’m—we’re just surprised how quickly you’ve gone from ‘I hate him for hating me’ to ‘he’s coming to bestie dinner.’”
“Bestie dinner?” Jared says. “Really?”
I shake my head. “That’s what you took from that? What about the whole completely untrue ‘I hate him’ part?”
“You do—or did, at least,” Jared points out.
“I’m with Dáithí on this. I like Ari too—he’s probably my favorite from the security team.
Though, and sorry for the tangent, I think he’s got something going on that he doesn’t talk about.
A bad breakup, maybe? Or did he lose someone during the anomalies?
” He directs that to Dáithí, who shrugs.
“We all did. I don’t remember there being anyone in particular for Ari, unless it happened before I met him. But if there was, it’s a well-kept secret, because nobody’s ever talked about it.”
My ears have pricked right up, and I have a million questions, but I stay quiet. They’ve gotten off topic, and that’s to my benefit. If they can stay distracted until Ari gets here, they’ll have to drop the subject then.
Anyway, it’s not true. I never hated Ari. I hated that he judged me so harshly, and I hated that even then, I was ridiculously attracted to him, but I never hated him, even when it seemed like he hated me.
Jared and Dáithí are still talking about secrets that Ari may or may not have when the doorbell rings. I’m low-key disappointed that they’ve been interrupted, because they both know him better than me and I was learning a lot. But I’m also excited to see Ari.
Man, I’m so fucked. Is this because of my hormones? Because my friends are right that things changed fast.
On the other hand… who cares? Why can’t I have another friend? And if I’m attracted to him, well… so what? That doesn’t mean I have to do anything about it.
Dáithí comes back into the room with Ari behind him, and the same stupid grin I was wearing earlier stretches across my face.
“Hi,” he says, I guess to the room in general, though he’s looking at me, his lips curving into a smile to match mine.
After a second, he drags his gaze away from me and nods to Jared.
I remember suddenly that Jared and Dáithí are technically his bosses’ partners, which means this dinner might be a little weird for him. Oops.
He and Eoin are friends too, though, and he’s known Dáithí for a long time. And it’s too late to change tonight’s plans, anyway.
Fuck it.
I bounce to my feet and grab the printout from the coffee table as the doorbell rings again.
“That’ll be the steaks,” Dáithí announces, but I’m not listening. Ari’s already moving toward me, and we meet in the middle of the room.
“Look, I have a new diet plan,” I tell him, and he takes the papers, smiling at me before he turns his attention to reading them.
I helpfully read over his shoulder and point out the parts that Edison wanted me to pay close attention to.
“I have a new training plan as well,” I tell him when he hands the papers back.
“It’s a work in progress, though, because Coach and Edison want to find me some special instructors.
” I’m barely aware of Dáithí and Jared heading into the kitchen to get started on dinner, too invested in telling Ari everything that happened since I last saw him.
In my defense, he’s just as invested as I am, asking a lot of questions—some of which I didn’t even think of.
“This is great, Felix,” he says at last. “Edison thinks you’ll see a change within a few days?”
I nod. “He said the increased protein in my diet will make a difference to the emotional surges pretty much right away. The trick is making sure I’m still getting the carbs I need to handle practice and games.
We already talked to the chef at the clubhouse and the team nutritionist, and we’re going to have daily meetings for a while until we get the balance right.
” I inhale deeply. “The anger hormones might take a little longer, but honestly, I’m so thrilled that things might get better that it would take a lot to make me angry now. ”
Ari laughs. “It might help that Sarcnet is gone now too. He was the one who pissed you off the most, right?”
I blink, surprised that he knows that. “Yeah. Was it that obvious?”
He shrugs. “Ah… not really. I’m trained to notice stuff like that.”
He’s trained to notice when hockey players hate their teammates? I open my mouth to tease him a little, but he looks away awkwardly, obviously wishing he’d never said anything, and instead I try to think of a way to change the subject.
“So, that’s the violence and the weeping taken care of,” I joke. “But there’s nothing they can do about the horniness.”
The words fall into a little silence, definitely not easing any of the awkwardness. Dáithí and Jared have fallen quiet in the kitchen, and I’m pretty sure they’re eavesdropping. It’s hard to care about that when Ari can’t meet my gaze.
“I’m sorry,” I start to say, just as he blurts, “I might know someone who can help.”
We stare at each other.
“What?” I ask faintly. He doesn’t mean what I think he means… right?
Is my new-friend-sort-of-crush pimping me out?
“I talked to an acquaintance today. A researcher. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have discussed your situation with anyone without your permission. I promise I didn’t use your name, and if you’d rather not—”
“Wait. Stop.” I hold up a hand. “You talked to a researcher about my puberty?”
He nods miserably. “I’m so sorry.”
“What kind of researcher?”
Ari swallows. “He specializes in the effects of sexual health on magical abilities. He—He said shifter puberty isn’t his area of expertise, but he’s going to talk to some colleagues, and he thinks some of his data might be pertinent. So…” He shrugs awkwardly. “Maybe he’ll be able to help.”
I’m still not sure I completely understand. “But why did you talk to him? Like… how did it come up in the first place?”
Shaking his head, he says, “No, I… I called him. I was doing some reading about how reproductive puberty affects athletes, and I couldn’t find any research about sex hormones, so I called him. Because he’s the closest person to an expert in that field that I know.”
A sound comes from the kitchen that might have been “Meep.”
“You were reading up on… You called him because you want to help me?” That’s the only thing I can think of that comes even close to making sense.
Ari looks at me as though I’ve just told him the sky is blue. “Yes.”
“Oh.” Heat rushes up my neck and into my cheeks, and yep, my cock is definitely showing its approval of the situation. Please don’t let him look down. “That’s so nice of you.”
“It might come to nothing,” he warns, his cheeks pink. We must match right now.
This is so ridiculous.
“I still appreciate it. It’s…” Oh no. “It’s…” I choke back a sob.
His eyes widen, and he lifts a hand toward me but just lets it hover, as though he’s afraid to touch me.
“Dinner!” Dáithí says loudly, rushing into the room and grabbing my arm. “Let’s get you some protein, Fe.”
Oh fuck yes.