Chapter 25
JOY
Cooper’s bedroom was exactly what I expected—clean, masculine, and sparse in that way men managed when they didn’t overthink decorating. A simple wooden bed frame, dark blue comforter, and not much else. Not a throw pillow or decorative candle in sight, like a barbarian.
He put me on my feet and stood in front of me. His hands were already pulling my blouse up and over my head.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured, his eyes drinking me in like I was something precious.
I reached for his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against mine. When I finally got it off him, I let my hands roam over his chest, tracing the scars I’d noticed before, mapping the defined muscles that came from years of physical work.
I kissed one pec and then the other. My tongue lapped up the center of his chest and his throat. I sucked at the flesh below his ear and over his shoulder. I wanted to devour the man. Never before had I craved the taste of a man like this.
“I’ve wanted you so badly since that night,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I couldn’t stop thinking about how you felt, how you make my heart pound.”
Cooper’s response was to capture my mouth in a kiss that was deep and demanding. His hands found the clasp of my bra, and when it fell away, he groaned against my lips.
“You’re a dream come true,” he said, his mouth trailing down my throat to my collarbone. “So damn perfect.”
When he took my breast in his mouth, I arched against him. My fingers threaded through his hair and took a firm grip, urging him on. The sensation shot straight through me, making me ache with need.
“Cooper, please,” I breathed, not even sure what I was begging for except more of everything.
He seemed to understand, because his hands moved to the waistband of my pants, working them down my legs along with my panties until I was completely bare before him. He looked at me like I was a feast he wanted to savor. It made heat pool low in my belly.
“My turn,” I said, reaching for his jeans.
I took my time undressing him, pressing kisses to his chest and stomach as I worked my way down. When I finally freed him, he was hard and ready. The sight made my mouth water.
“Joy,” he warned when I wrapped my hand around him, “if you keep doing that—”
“What?” I asked innocently, stroking him slowly. “This?”
His hips jerked into my touch. The groan was guttural. I loved having this effect on him, loved seeing his careful control start to fracture.
Before I could take things further, he was lifting me, laying me back on his bed with a gentleness that made my heart clench.
“I want to taste you,” he said, his voice rough with desire.
I nodded, unable to form words as he settled between my thighs. My panting spoke for me. When his mouth found me, I cried out, my back arching off the bed. He was thorough, relentless, using his tongue and lips to drive me higher and higher until I was trembling on the edge of beautiful forever.
“Cooper, don’t stop.”
“Let go,” he commanded against my sensitive flesh. “I want to watch you fall apart.”
His words pushed me over. I came with a cry that probably echoed through his entire house. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed over me, leaving me shaking and breathless.
Before I could fully recover, Cooper was moving over me, positioning himself at my entrance. Our eyes met and held as he pushed inside slowly, stretching me, filling me completely.
“You feel incredible,” he breathed, his forehead pressed against mine. “Like you were made for me.”
I wrapped my legs around his waist, urging him deeper. “Move,” I whispered. “Please, Cooper, I need you to move.”
He started slow, each thrust deliberate and controlled. But I could see the restraint in his face, the way he was holding back.
“I won’t break,” I told him, my nails digging into his shoulders. “I want all of you.”
Something in my words seemed to snap his control. His pace quickened, his thrusts becoming harder, more urgent. The bed creaked beneath us, but I didn’t care about anything except the way he felt moving inside me.
“Is this what you wanted?” he asked, his voice strained. “Is this hard enough?”
“Yes,” I gasped, meeting him thrust for thrust. “God, yes, don’t stop.”
I could feel another orgasm building, coiling tight in my belly. Cooper seemed to sense it because he reached between us, his thumb finding my clit and circling it with perfect pressure.
“Come with me,” he commanded, his rhythm becoming erratic. “I want to feel you come around me.”
His words sent me flying over the edge again, my body clenching around him as pleasure exploded through me. Cooper followed seconds later, burying his face in my neck as he spilled inside me with a groan.
We lay there afterward, both breathing hard, our bodies slick with sweat. Cooper pulled me against his side. I curled into his warmth, feeling more satisfied and complete than I had in years.
I traced lazy patterns on his chest, marveling at how right this felt. How natural it was to be here with him like this.
“Stay,” he said quietly. I could hear the vulnerability in his voice. “Stay the night.”
I looked up at him, seeing something in his expression that made my heart skip. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” he said, his arms tightening around me. “I don’t want you to leave.”
His heartbeat was finally slowing to normal beneath my ear, the rapid rhythm that had matched my own gradually settling into something steady and reassuring.
His arm tightened around me, pulling me closer against his side. I felt him press a soft kiss to the top of my head. The gesture was so tender, so unconsciously affectionate, that it made my chest tight with something I wasn’t quite ready to name.
“I’m glad you came back to town,” he said quietly, his voice still rough around the edges. “Even if you were kind of forced home under less than happy circumstances.”
“I’m glad too,” I murmured against his chest.
“Yeah?” There was something hesitant in his voice, as if he wasn’t entirely sure he believed me.
I tilted my head up to look at him, taking in the uncertainty in his brown eyes. “Yeah. Not just because this is nice. Really nice. But also because it’s giving me a chance to take a step back from my life. To figure out what I really want.”
His fingers found their way into my hair, combing through the strands with gentle strokes that made me want to purr like a cat. “And what is that? What do you really want?”
The question hung in the air between us.
I wasn’t sure either of us was ready to explore the question I’d been asking myself.
“I’m not sure yet,” I admitted. “For the longest time, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. Career success, financial independence, a life in the city where I could be anonymous and ambitious and completely self-reliant. But being back here…” I paused, trying to find the right words.
“It’s making me question whether what I thought I wanted is actually what would make me happy. ”
Cooper was quiet for a long moment, processing this. His fingers continued their gentle movement through my hair. I could practically hear the wheels turning in his analytical mind.
“What about you?” I asked. “Do you think you’ll ever fall in love again? Really fall in love, not just settle for something comfortable?”
The question seemed to surprise him. His hand stilled in my hair. I felt the subtle tension that ran through his body before he forced himself to relax again.
“I don’t know,” he said finally. “For a long time after Lynn left, I thought it was impossible. Thought maybe I just wasn’t built for that kind of life. Or like, some people just end up alone, and I thought I was one of those people.”
We lay in the quiet.
“But lately?” He shook his head. “I can see myself settling down again. Someday. Maybe building something real with someone who actually wants the same things I want.”
“And what do you want?” I asked, echoing his earlier question back to him.
His arm tightened around me almost unconsciously. “I want someone who makes me laugh and challenges me to be better. Someone who doesn’t try to change the fundamental parts of who I am.”
I forced myself to stay quiet, to let him finish painting his picture of an uncertain future.
“I want someone who wants to build a life here, in this town with these people,” he continued. “Someone who understands that small-town living isn’t settling for less—it’s choosing something different. Something quieter, maybe, but not smaller.”
“That sounds like you do know what you want,” I observed gently.
He huffed out a quiet laugh. “Maybe. Or maybe I’m just good at outlining the dream and terrible at actually taking the steps to get there.”
I shifted slightly, propping myself up on my elbow so I could see his face better.
“Taking steps is scary,” I said. “Especially when you’ve been hurt before.”
“Yeah.” His hand moved to cup my face, his thumb brushing across my cheekbone with infinite gentleness. “It is.”
“So where does that leave us?” I asked finally.
He sighed. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “But I know I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. I know I want to see you again, spend time with you, see where this goes.”
“Without pressure,” I said, remembering our earlier conversation at the restaurant. “Without expectations.”
“Sure,” he agreed. “We should probably get through the Yuletide Fest first before we make any big decisions, huh?”
“That’s probably a good idea.” I settled back against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and trying to quiet the voice in my head that was already spinning scenarios and analyzing possibilities.
This was enough, I told myself. This moment with this man who held me was enough.
Outside, the wind had picked up, rattling the windows and reminding us that winter was far from over.
“Joy?” His voice was getting drowsy, the exhaustion of a long day and intense emotions finally catching up with him.
“Mmm?”
“Whatever happens, whatever we decide or don’t decide, I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad we’re giving this a chance.”
His words settled into my chest like a warm coal, glowing with promise and possibility. “Me too,” I whispered.
I felt him relax beneath me. His breathing was beginning to deepen as sleep pulled at him. I should probably go home, I thought dimly. Should slip out of his bed and drive back to my aunt’s house to try and maintain some distance and dignity in this undefined thing between us.
But his arm was solid and warm around me. It felt too good. Leaving felt impossible. I let my eyes drift closed, let myself sink into the peace of this moment without worrying about what tomorrow would bring.
Cooper had made love to me like I was everything he’d been searching for without knowing it. Tonight, I felt more at home in his arms than I’d felt anywhere in years.
That was enough to build on. That was enough to hope for.
I felt Cooper’s lips brush against my hair one more time. He murmured something too soft to catch. But I didn’t need to hear the words to understand the sentiment.
We were both still uncertain about the future, still figuring out what we wanted and whether we were brave enough to reach for it.
Whatever we had going on, it was nice for the moment.