Chapter 40
COOPER
Iwas doing my best impression of a functional human being. On my usual walkthrough, I checked for unseen dangers and reviewed emergency protocols for the Christmas market opening. Joy was around but we were both avoiding each other.
I could just leave. I could walk right out of town square and end the torment. But I couldn’t do it. I needed to be near her even if I didn’t know what to do with her. Or me. She was acting like I had the plague. Or maybe I was acting that way toward her.
I just didn’t know how to handle the situation. She was clearly avoiding me. Was she done with me? My head was a mess. The best thing I could do was go home and contemplate life. Contemplate every choice.
Katrina stepped in front of me. She was absolutely in my personal space.
“Who pissed in your porridge?” she demanded without preamble, crossing her arms and fixing me with that penetrating stare that had me taking a step back.
“Whatever, I’m fine,” I lied and looked past her. “Just making sure we’re prepared for anything and everything tonight.”
“Bullshit.” Katrina grabbed my chin and forced me to acknowledge her presence.
“You’ve been skulking around this market like someone stole your favorite toy.
And don’t think I don’t notice you watching Joy like a sad puppy.
What’s wrong with you? Why are you being so weird?
This isn’t the seventh grade, so why are you acting like a freak? ”
“I’m not acting like a freak.”
“Yes, you are. What’s wrong? What happened? Why are you skulking around here? I don’t like it. It’s weird.”
“You already said that,” I muttered. Apparently my sister’s twin radar was functioning at full capacity today. “And I’m not skulking.”
“You’re absolutely skulking. You’re practically radiating misery, and it’s making everyone uncomfortable.
” She lowered her voice, glancing around to make sure we weren’t being overheard.
“Cooper, I’ve been hearing some crazy rumors about Lynn being back in town.
Someone said she burned her parents’ house down trying to win you back. ”
The absurdity of that particular piece of gossip would have been funny if it weren’t so representative of how quickly facts got twisted in small-town telephone games.
“Seriously? No. Lynn didn’t burn anything down.
Her father had a turkey fryer accident, and yes, she’s back in town, but it has nothing to do with me. ”
And the second I said the words I knew we both knew that was a lie.
Dammit. I wished I was a better liar.
“Cooper.”
“Katrina.”
“Cooper.”
I rolled my eyes. “I would rather cut my dick off than get back together with Lynn,” I said and meant it.
“The only feelings I have left for her are disgust and annoyance. Whatever people are saying, they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.
They’re just looking for something to talk about. ”
The words came out sharp but the whole situation was bringing back uncomfortable memories of last year.
After Lynn had humiliated me at the altar—literally left me standing there in my tuxedo while guests watched in horrified silence—everyone in town had something to say about it.
Everyone was whispering behind my back, speculating about what had gone wrong, creating elaborate theories about my personal life.
I had heard everything, from I had some kinky bedroom habits to I demanded she give me six kids. I was a tyrant or too soft. I was lazy or all I did was work. The rumor mill covered all the possible scenarios.
The rumors had been inescapable then, and apparently they were starting up again now. Different rumors, same invasive scrutiny, same feeling that my private pain was being turned into public entertainment. And I had a feeling Joy was going to get dragged into the rumors.
Maybe she already had.
“Then why are you all bummed out?” Katrina pressed, clearly not buying my attempt to deflect. “If you’re not worried about Lynn, what’s got you looking like someone ran over your dog?”
I stared at the clipboard in my hands, weighing how much I wanted to reveal to my sister.
Katrina meant well, but she also had a tendency to want to fix things.
I wasn’t sure this particular problem had a solution that could be engineered.
And I really didn’t want my sister mixed up in my sex life.
And the thing with Joy was all about sex right now.
I wanted more. At least I thought I did but now I didn’t know where the hell things were heading.
“I’m worried about Joy,” I admitted finally. “About whether she’s planning to stay in Calton Hill long term or if this is just a temporary thing for her.”
“And?”
“And I really like her, Katrina. More than I should, considering how short a time we’ve been hanging out again. But she’s avoiding me and now I’m worried it’s a mistake to let myself fall for her.”
Katrina was quiet for a moment, studying my face with that unnerving intensity that came with sharing DNA. “You’re scared,” she said finally.
“I’m being realistic.”
“No, you’re scared. Last time, you got left at the altar. This time, you’re scared Joy will leave town.” She stepped closer. “Cooper, if you want her and don’t fight for her, you’ll lose her anyway. At least if you fight and she still leaves, you’ll know you tried.”
The logic was sound, but it didn’t make the prospect of potential heartbreak any less terrifying. “What if I’m jumping in with both feet while she’s only got a toe in the water?”
“Then you’ll find out how she really feels,” she said.
“No relationship is guaranteed. People can screw you over. It doesn’t matter if she’s going to live in Calton Hill the rest of her life.
Relationships are minefields. You just never know when you’re going to take the wrong step.
Shit happens. You can move on with your life instead of living in this limbo of uncertainty. ”
“What if she doesn’t want me to fight for her?”
Katrina reached out and squeezed my arm. “What if she does want you to fight? What if she’s waiting for some sign that you’re serious about this? Have you given her any hints about what you want?”
The possibility hit me like a revelation. What if Joy’s recent distance wasn’t disinterest but uncertainty? What if she was dealing with her own fears about our relationship, her own doubts about whether I was serious about her?
If I knew Lynn, and unfortunately, I did, Joy probably knew Lynn was back in town. The rumor were spreading and it was possible Joy had been hearing them all day.
“I need to talk to her,” I said.
“No shit. Tonight, after the market opens and things settle down. Have an actual conversation instead of dancing around each other like nervous teenagers. You’re so weird.”
“Stop calling me fucking weird. I’m a grown man and you’re making me sound like a teen.”
“Don’t act like a weird teen and I won’t have to call you that.”
She was really lucky she was my sister because I had plenty I would like to say.
“Thank you for the advice but go away,” I said instead.
She grinned. “Good luck.”
Katrina was right. I’d been letting old wounds dictate my behavior in the present, assuming the worst instead of just asking Joy directly what she wanted. We were adults. We could have an honest conversation about our feelings and our future without all the drama and speculation.
I spotted Joy near the information booth, her red jacket making her easy to locate even in the growing crowd of vendors and volunteers. She was talking animatedly with the mayor, gesturing toward the various booths and explaining something that was clearly important to the success of the evening.
I approached them carefully, not wanting to interrupt if they were discussing something critical. But as I got closer, Joy noticed me and her expression shifted subtly—not unfriendly, exactly, but guarded. It made my stomach drop. Whatever I thought I was picking up on was definitely real.
“Cooper Frost,” she said when I reached them. “Safety coordinator extraordinaire.”
The mayor smiled. “She was telling me about all the great work you’ve done on the festival. The town thanks you.”
I nodded, never knowing how to react to compliments. “Thank you, Mayor. Just doing my job.”
“Well, keep up the good work,” she said.
“Joy, could I speak with you for a moment? Privately?”
The mayor took the hint immediately. “I’ll let you two talk. Joy, everything looks fantastic. The town owes you a debt of gratitude for putting this together.”
She walked away, leaving Joy and me standing beside the information booth while the controlled chaos of final preparations continued around us.
“What’s up?” she asked, but there was something careful in her tone that suggested she already knew this wasn’t about festival logistics.
“I think we should talk,” I said. “About us. About what’s been going on between us and where we think it’s heading.”
For a moment, something vulnerable flickered across her face, quickly replaced by a professional mask. “You’re right, we should. But Cooper, I can’t do this right now. The market opens in like twenty minutes, and if anything goes wrong—”
“I understand,” I said, though disappointment sat heavy in my stomach. “Later tonight, then? After things wind down?”
“Yeah. Absolutely. Later tonight.” She paused, and for just a second, her guard dropped completely. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t ideal timing, but I can’t afford any distractions right now. Not when we’re this close to the finish line.”
“Joy, it’s okay,” I interrupted, recognizing the stress and exhaustion in her voice. “Tonight. We’ll figure this out tonight.”
She nodded, offering me a smile. “Thank you for understanding.”
I walked away from that conversation without any answers but also strangely hopeful. Joy hadn’t rejected the idea of talking. She just asked for time to focus on her professional responsibilities. That seemed reasonable, even responsible.
But as I made my way through the market grounds, I kept wondering if she’d been hearing the same rumors Katrina had mentioned. If the town gossip mill was already churning out stories about Lynn’s return and what it might mean for our relationship, then Joy’s recent coldness made perfect sense.
She was probably feeling exactly as unsettled and uncertain as I was, possibly wondering if my feelings for her were real or if I was still hung up on my ex-fiancée. The thought that she might be doubting my sincerity made me want to find her immediately and set the record straight.
But she couldn’t have that conversation right then and I had to respect that. The Christmas market was her baby, her chance to prove herself professionally in a town that would be crucial to her future. If she stayed. If I ruined the market, she would be more likely to leave town.
She agreed to talk to me later. That counted for something. We could sort this all out tonight, put all the confusion and speculation behind us.
I just had to be patient for a few more hours.
And try not to let my own insecurities and unspoken fears drive me completely insane in the meantime.
Tonight, I was going to tell Joy exactly how I felt and find out if she felt the same way.
The waiting was going to kill me, but at least now I had a plan.