Chapter 14
Less than a week after her coronation, Jacob could tell two things about Catherine as queen:
First, the stress of actually being the one in charge was getting to her.
Second, any honeymoon she might have had with the press was already coming to an end.
Though he still slept in the other room, he could tell she hadn't been sleeping well. He heard her getting up and down several times throughout the night. She'd also been quieter during the evening as they spent time together.
She hadn't left the palace since the coronation - and the press had definitely noticed. It hadn't hit the mainstream yet, but Byron made sure Jacob saw a few articles where whispers were beginning to spread.
"How can I help her?" Jacob asked Byron as he leaned back in his chair in his new office.
"I spoke with both her assistant and Jessica. She needs to get out with the people."
"How do we do that?" The thought had occurred to him in passing, but he hadn’t done anything about it just yet.
"Where do you think she'd enjoy going? What causes does she want to lend her support to?"
Jake tapped his pen against his other hand. "If her assistant or Jessica have some ideas, let's run with them. I can try to feel her out when we're at the lake this weekend.”
Byron made a note on his tablet.
"Maybe we could get something to eat before we go out of town tomorrow. Is there a favorite restaurant for the family?"
"I'll find out." Another notation was made on Byron's tablet.
"Something casual would be a better option than a more formal place."
"Agreed."
They discussed a few more things before Byron went back to his own desk in the outer office.
Looking around the room, Jake wondered at the change in direction his life had taken.
When he left Southern Santiero just after the first of the year, he'd hoped to help study and preserve royal history, not become part of it.
By the time he reached the cottage for dinner, arrangements had been made. They'd have a meal at a local cafe. Catherine's father as well as both her mum and Mumeleine had frequented the place over the years.
Catherine walked in a couple of minutes after he did, the weight of the world resting on her shoulders. "I'm not very hungry. I think I'm going to take a shower and go to bed early."
She didn't look directly at Jake.
Without waiting to hear more, Jake moved in front of her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling his wife into his chest. She leaned heavily against him, her forehead on his chest.
"I didn't expect this," she murmured. "I thought I knew what I was getting into, but I didn't expect it to be like this."
Jake rubbed a spot on her back. "Be like what?"
"The pressure. The stress. I've been doing most of the job for over a year.
My father has been turning things over to me little by little since I turned eighteen.
Literally the only difference between this week and two weeks ago is that my father has no legal power.
He's still there to back me up, to be a sounding board, but all he can do is advise.
He can't overrule me anymore, but he hasn't done that.
.. ever, really. There were times he guided me toward one decision or another, but he never outright overruled me.
" Her bag dropped to the ground and her arms wrapped around him, her head turning until her cheek rested against him.
"Maybe that's it. Maybe it's that you know your father isn't a part of the process anymore.
It's kind of like training wheels on a bike.
He was always there, like a security blanket.
Now there's no training wheels, no blanket.
" He tipped his head slightly so the side of his chin rested against her head.
"It makes sense that it feels different. It is different."
"I guess. I'm just waiting for someone to decide that I'm not qualified for this and start making moves to force me off the throne, metaphorically speaking. No one sits on the actual throne very often anymore."
"No one thinks that, love. I know you have a hard time believing you're competent or that anyone else believes you're the right one for the job, but that's categorically untrue."
"If you say so." Her voice was muffled by his chest.
"I do say so."
Catherine took a deep breath. "I'll do my best to keep that in mind. I am really looking forward to the lake house. Just us. A lot of rest."
Jake hesitated then nodded. They did have a few easy plans.
Local charities she visited from time to time.
He'd made sure not to actually confirm any of them.
If they got to the cottage and it really would be too much, her visits wouldn't have been announced.
A few select people had been told it was possible she might come by for a brief visit when she was in the area but nothing solid.
They stood there for several minutes. Finally, Catherine took a deep breath and blew it out as she stepped away from his embrace.
"Thank you. I needed that." The professional was back. The real Catherine, the one deep underneath, had made a brief appearance before being relegated to the depths - to be someone very few people saw at all, and no one truly saw the totality of the real Catherine.
Maybe one day his presence would be enough for her to drop the facade completely when they were alone. He had no doubt it would take time and many chances for him to prove his loyalty, to prove that he was a safe place for her.
"What time do we leave?" she called over her shoulder as she walked toward the bedroom.
"You have a meeting at eleven. We'll leave after that." Or so he'd been told.
"That will put us there well after lunch time, but long before dinner," she mused almost to herself. "I'll have to ask someone to make sure there's food for us to snack on."
Jake didn't say anything about their lunch plans. The decision wouldn't be final until they started the trip, and he could get a good read on her mood. He would ask Byron to ensure there was food in the auto to hold them over in case they didn't make the stop to eat.
Catherine remained quiet for the rest of the evening and retired early once again.
The next day began as so many others had. Jake put in a couple of hours working in the archives then went to his new office to continue being instructed on how to be an effective prince consort.
Catherine's meeting ended shortly before noon.
The little bit of sunlight visible for the day made the outdoors sort of like dusk, despite the hour.
Jake watched as, despite the cold, Catherine stood in the bit of sunlight with her eyes closed as though she were trying to absorb its rays.
After a couple of deep breaths, she turned back to enter the vehicle before him.
On the walk from her office he tried to feel her out, to determine if the stop was a good idea. He couldn't get a good read on her mood, but chose to nod slightly in the direction of the security team member who would be driving.
As they drove, Catherine pointed out some of her favorite places in the city. It took her a few minutes to realize they were going in the wrong direction. She leaned forward to speak to the men in front. "Is there construction on our usual route?"
"No, ma'am," the driver answered, but didn't offer any further information.
She gave Jake a worried glance, but he just smiled at her.
The trip to the restaurant took about ten minutes. When they pulled into the parking lot, Catherine gave him a puzzled look, but Jake sensed it wasn't actually directed at him. He just happened to be in the area.
He answered anyway. "We're stopping for lunch." Jake didn't explain further.
It took her a few seconds of intense staring at the sign for it to come to her. "This was my mother's favorite," she whispered. "I haven't been here in years."
Jake reached over and took her hand. "We don't have to stay if you don't want to. The owners have been told it's possible you'll stop by. Nothing confirmed, but that it's a possibility."
It took just a few more seconds for her to nod. "Let's go."
None of the things Catherine expected to happen during their luncheon actually happened.
At least none of the bad things.
Photos and videos had been taken, but no paparazzi had shown up.
They’d even had lunch with one of the families who were waiting for a table when she and Jacob arrived.
Jacob had been the one to first strike up a conversation with one of the children.
Catherine still didn’t quite know how it happened, but the next thing she knew, she’d invited the family of five to join them.
As soon as she’d done so, she glanced at Jacob to see if he minded.
The smile he gave the little girl at his side told her he was just fine with it.
At the beginning, conversation was stilted, but by the time their entrees arrived, they all seemed to have settled in.
One of the little girls sat next to Catherine. She tugged on Catherine’s sleeve to get her attention.
“My mama died, too” she said solemnly. “Papa married Mummy and she loves us like Mama would.”
Catherine leaned over until she could talk quietly and still be heard. “My papa married my Mumeleine. She’s always loved us like Mum would have.”
“That’s what Mummy told us when we watched on the telly.”
Catherine glanced at the parents.
“We watched the ceremonies for the ball and the coronation,” the mum explained.
With a slight nod, Catherine turned back to the girl.
“Did you want your mummy there? My mummy said you would.”
Several thoughts flitted through Catherine’s mind before she answered. “I would have liked my mum to be there, but if Mum was alive, I wouldn’t have Mumeleine or four of my brothers and sisters. I love them, and I’m glad they’re here.”
The concept was probably a bit much for the little girl to fully understand. It was something Catherine thought about often.
Yes, she missed her mum.
No, she wouldn’t have known what she was missing out on.