36. Becca
THIRTY-SIX
BECCA
“Rise and shine.”
Can’t say I’ve ever heard Tyler’s voice be that gentle. I blink awake to find him smiling down at me. For a moment, I sink into the feeling. “Hey.”
He glances at the clock. “I never know what time you get up because you’re always gone by the time I do, but I assume you’re a little late.”
I flop over to look at his nightstand and a jolt of dread and panic rushes through me.
“Oh no, oh shit, oh god.” I climb out of his bed and start pacing. My clothes are all trapped in the room with the raccoons. Except maybe some I abandoned in the dryer? But they’ll be all wrinkled. And the bigger deal is that there is still a pack of raccoons living in this house.
“Reba.” Tyler starts following me where I’m pacing and apparently also muttering all those things out loud. “You can go through my clothes. Take whatever you want. I can go check the dryer for your jeans. I’ll call Jake about the raccoons.”
“No, that won’t work! You guys aren’t professionals. But I can’t have a professional truck here either or people will think I have rats!”
Tyler’s fingers close around my wrist where I’m resting my fist on top of my head. “It’s going to be okay, but you need to calm down.”
“I can’t calm down, Tyler! I need a—” I finish that sentence with a growl where I pull at my hair. I need a smoke, but I’m afraid to admit that to him.
“Deep breath,” he says gently. “We got this. Let’s get you dressed and fed, and everything else will come after that.”
“The chickens have to eat first. They’re already starving,” I insist in a voice so urgent you’d think a tidal wave was headed our way.
Tyler chuckles. “They’re pretty sturdy, baby. I don’t think they’re falling over.”
“Don’t laugh!” I shriek.
He puts his hands up. “I’m trying to help you. Are you . . . on your period?”
“Don’t you dare,” I growl, turning on my heel and starting to dig through his duffel bag.
“Well? I’m your husband! I should probably know! I’m really nice and I’ll get chocolate and chips too.”
I wheel around to face him. “I need a smoke, okay? Are you happy? I ran out of Nicorette and I need to go to town and get more and that isn’t going to happen because I woke up an hour late!”
His eyes are wide, trying hard not to laugh. My homicidal thoughts are reaching a fever pitch.
“What,” I fling my hands his way, “could possibly be funny about this?”
He tucks his lips into his teeth. “Nothing.”
I grab his shirt collar, and I know he’s probably fifteen times my size but my rage makes me mighty. “Share with the class.”
“I could go next door and get your cigs from the raccoons.”
I shriek and drop his shirt from my hand, but his arm snakes around my lower back as I spin to stomp away.
“C’mere.”
Tyler tucks me into his body before cradling the back of my head and planting a sweet kiss on me. It catches me off guard, because I really don’t know where we stand. We’re married. We snuggled all night. He’s being nice even though I know I’m an absolute tyrant this morning.
“I appreciate that you’re trying to quit smoking. Really. I haven’t said thank you, but I know exactly how hard it is.” His face becomes more serious. “And I really appreciate that you’re doing it for Ellie.”
His kiss and kind words have softened me, and a notable calm washes over me. “Oh.”
“Let’s get ready for the day. El and I will pop into town to get some animal traps and some of your spicy gum for you. Okay? I know this morning is tough, but you’re tough too. You can get through it.”
The lack of nicotine in my dependent brain has scrambled it, and my words come flying out without thought. “I don’t feel tough. This is probably harder to quit than heroin.”
Tyler’s face drops, and I’m afraid he’s about to shut down. I’d deserve it if he told me to hit the bricks after everything he went through with CJ and rehab and trying to raise Ellie through it all. “No. That’s pretty tough too. I haven’t found you unconscious on the floor yet.”
That sucked the last of my tirade out. “I’m sorry. That was really insensitive of me. That was probably awful.”
He nods and chews his lip, but he doesn’t let me go, still holding me while he looks at me. “It was. But that’s all in the past. Today, we have a couple things we can tackle. Raccoons, and acquiring nicotine gum.”
I smile, but what Dusty said before our wedding rings through my mind, that Tyler likes to fix things so everybody’s comfortable. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to fix my problems right now. Or ever.”
He rubs his lips together and looks down at me. “It’s not about fixing. It’s about helping someone you care about when they’re having a hard time. And removing animals that I do not want as roommates.”
I throw my arms around his waist and hug him tighter. “Thank you.”
He kisses the top of my head. “I’m glad you’re quitting for Ellie, but I’m really glad you’re quitting for yourself. I want you healthy for a good, long time.”
I shiver, partially from the draft in the house and mostly because that’s a really sweet thing to say. “You want to keep me around? Even when I’m an absolute bear?”
“Yeah, I do.” Tyler jostles me in his arms. “You’re important. We gotta take care of you too. Take care of your roof. The hole in your ceiling. Your health.”
I can’t handle how nice he’s being, so I crack jokes. “My body is telling me that taking care of it right now involves fighting a raccoon for my cigs.”
He chuckles. “I know it’s miserable. I’m surprised this is the first time you’ve snapped.”
I look at him with a raised brow. “You think the midnight pumpkin cutting wasn’t me snapping?”