Chapter 27
Genevieve
Aspen’s lunch break is over and I’m left thinking about him.
I think about the way his hair falls, framing his face perfectly.
I don’t even think he uses any product in it.
I think about the way his eyes lock into mine, making me feel like the only important person in the world.
Aspen has that power, to make people feel like they are the most important person in the room.
I try to clear my mind of him so I can focus on my real issue at hand. What the fuck I want to do with my life.
The working life is crazy, but I love it.
I’m honestly questioning my whole life’s purpose in this moment.
Who knew getting a little greased up would make me have such an epiphany.
I’m extremely grateful to Raul for letting me help out and to Aspen for being so okay with it.
I know they’re shocked by my gratitude, but honestly as much as I’m helping them out, they’re helping me.
They’re giving me purpose.
Raul taught me everything I needed to know from the second my shift began. He’s been such a kind instructor that I can’t help but notice he speaks similar to the way Aspen speaks. I wonder if there is some sort of connection there.
Raul showed me how to use the computer to take orders in case he was busy with a customer, otherwise, he’s mostly putting in the orders himself. He said on busy days it’s good to also write down the order on paper so I have it, but since it’s been a slow start I’ve been able to remember it all.
He showed me where the food was and what I could use and then, the fun part was he told me I could make whatever I wanted.
They have a set menu so I’ve been making food off of there, but I’ve also been making these special philly cheesesteak egg rolls.
I know they sound random, but my brothers and I would make them all the time because they’re so easy.
You just chop up hamburger meat or steak and then add melted cheese, grilled onions, peppers and then put all that in an egg roll wrap to fry.
It’s heaven sent and dripping with grease all at the same time.
I could eat these all day, but I like to watch what I eat so I just had two and then a caesar salad with no croutons for lunch.
Raul and I took turns having lunch, not that it was super busy or anything.
So it wasn’t too bad when I was left alone to run both the kitchen and the bar.
Raul and I really ended up getting along well.
Aspen was right. He puts up a tough front, but underneath he’s really just a big ol’ teddy bear.
I cracked that side of him easily with my enthusiasm to work.
He might be pretending to be nice since I’m doing him a favor, but something tells me he’s genuine.
“Everything okay?” Raul asks me and gives me a thumbs up.
I shoot him a thumbs up back. “All good here boss,” I reply.
He gets back to drying glasses with a rag like he just was and I head back to the kitchen once again.
I place the chopped up hamburger meat on the stove and let it cook.
On the side I add the onions and peppers and once everything is cooked in its own time I mix it all together.
Then I top it with cheese for about thirty seconds so it melts over everything, but doesn’t disintegrate.
The smoke surrounds the air around me and I realize I probably smell like a philly cheese steak sandwich.
Every girl’s dream.
If I’m being honest, working today has really given me a different perspective on life.
Life's too short to live doing something you don’t want to do.
My parents wanted me to go to school, my parents wanted me to get a degree in a suitable career.
My parents this, my parents that, it’s always what they want.
But what about what I want? I have to follow my own heart and do what I want to do.
Especially since it’s my life and will determine my future.
I’m just not sure if I’m thinking straight. I mean it’s only been one day. I can’t possibly change my whole life based on one day.
Could I?
I mean that is what love is. One day you meet someone and if you like them and choose to be with them, your life has now changed forever. Love means forever change.
This job just really has me thinking. I could imagine myself working here, snowboarding in my free time and making clothes on the side. I don’t want to go to school where I’m forced to follow one path and one path only, that’s no fun.
I get bored too easily for that.
I’m a spontaneous person. I want the ability to be able to change my mind whenever I want and by having a career, that kind of prevents me from exactly that. But having a job that is fun and not so much of a commitment is more up my alley.
Who am I kidding? Derek will be back in a few days and continue working his job.
Everything will go back to the way it was.
All I did was keep his apron warm for him.
He doesn't need me. They don’t need me. I’m just a substitute for a couple days and that’s it.
I need to just get over these feelings I have and swallow my pride because my parents will cut me off if I drop out and then what?
? How will I be able to afford anything with the amount they get paid here?
My parents have always told me they would cut me off forever if I dropped out of school, that is the only reason I am still in it if I’m being honest. Otherwise, I would have never enrolled.
I hate school, I hate how stupid I feel when I’m there and I hate how pushy they are about you picking a major.
Like sorry I don’t know what the fuck I want to do with my life Bridgett.
I’m getting agitated just thinking about her. For an academic advisor who’s supposed to help you throughout your college career, she isn’t very helpful. She’s lucky I haven’t tried to get her fired.
I take my philly cheese mixture and divide it into each egg roll wrap and roll it all up.
Once I’ve rolled six of them up, I stick them all in the wired metal basket and drown them in the sizzling oil to deep fry.
They go in for less than a minute before they’re ready to be taken out.
I plate the food and pass it off to Raul who serves it up to the gentleman sitting at the bar by himself.
That was the last plate of philly cheesesteak egg rolls I made for the day because everyone else wanted a burger, chicken strips or a salad. All things that didn’t take any effort.
I feel my phone buzz in my apron so I check to see who it is and it’s Lana. I completely forgot to call her this morning. Shit, I answer her call instantly.
“Hey, Babe, what’s up?” I say to her.
“What’s up?! Hello Gen? Are you alive?! I’ve been texting you all day!” She says in a worried tone.
“Really? I’m sorry I haven’t been on my phone! I’ve been working,” I tell her and then I realized how that sounded.
“Working?! So you’re moving there now? What the fuck?” She says. It’s rare to hear Lana cus so this is funny, I can’t help but laugh.
“Why are you laughing? Do you know how worried I’ve been?” She asks.
“I’m sorry Lana you gotta relax, really, I’m fine,” I assure her.
“Okay, well, what are you doing? Why are you working?” She asks.
“Well, your hot tub lover had an emergency back home in Louisiana, so he had to go take care of business and I’m here just filling in for him,” I tell her.
“I’m not gonna even ask,” she says.
“Good, it’s confusing anyways. But look, I’m sorry. I got here last night and then we went out for pizza and—”
She interrupts me, “PIZZA??! ARE YOU OKAY?! DO I NEED TO CALL 911?” she practically screams. Lana is the opposite of calm when it comes to a life or death situation. But it’s my fault because I forgot we made our code word to be pizza.
“I’m fine, Babe, I’m sorry I forgot that was the code word,” I tell her.
“Don’t tell him!” She says.
“He’s not here. I’m in the kitchen working and he’s out on the mountain,” I tell her.
“Whatever, I better not see you on the news tomorrow as missing or dead. I will never forgive you,” she says.
“Good thing I’d be dead,” I tell her to break the tension.
“Not funny,” she says through grinded teeth.
“Okay Lans, well, I promise I’ll call you tomorrow or something. I’ve gotta get back to working,” I tell her.
“I still don’t get it, but okay, you better. And remember, pizza is the word for emergencies only!” she clarifies.
“Got it! Love ya!” I tell her.
“Love you,” she says and then hangs up.
Well that was stressful.
For a second I just stand behind the bar, towel in hand, letting the stillness of the place settle into me.
The low murmur of a customer finishing his drink, the clink of Raul's glasses, the smell of fryer oil and something faintly sweet—I feel like I’m inside a moment I don’t want to leave. It’s small, but it’s mine.
I wipe down the counters one last time, even though they’re already clean. I don’t know why I’m doing it—it’s just something to do with my hands.
That anxious little voice in my head creeps in, the one that always shows up when things feel too good.
Could I really live like this?
Waking up early, working a shift, snowboarding after lunch, cooking dinner with Aspen... It’s kind of a dream. A small dream maybe, but still a dream; something real, something mine. Then, just as quickly, the voice twists.
But for how long?
What if Raul doesn’t need me next week? What if Aspen realizes I’m just some bored, rich girl playing pretend in a kitchen for a weekend?
What if this whole thing is just a detour before I go back to being exactly who I was: miserable in lecture halls, pretending to care about a degree I never asked for?
I feel my chest tighten. What if I’m not actually good at anything? Not good enough to keep this, not brave enough to leave what I know. My parents would cut me off; no more tuition, no more car, no more safety net.
I look down at the towel in my hand, soaked and dripping onto the floor. I don’t even remember turning on the sink.
This isn’t just about school or work. It’s about feeling like I’m constantly trying to be someone for everyone else; my parents, my professors, even Aspen sometimes. I’m so used to molding myself to fit what people expect that I don’t even know what I want half the time.
But today felt different, for once, I wasn’t trying. I just was, and somehow that was enough.
The day was now over and Aspen came back in to grab me and let me know he was about to clock out. Raul nodded me off as he’s wiping the counter top of the bar and told me to call it a day.
“Nice work today, Gen. You impressed me. See you tomorrow?” He asks me.
“Thanks Raul, see you tomorrow!” I assure him.
Raul continues wiping the counter when I notice him nearly fall back. He catches himself in time, but he looked as if he was about to fall back and go to sleep.
“Are you okay?” I ask him.
“Oh yeah, don’t worry about me. Just a little sleepy that’s all,” Raul says like it’s a routine he’s practiced.
“Okay,” I say a little weary. I’m not sure if I believe him.
Raul looks more than tired, he looks like he hasn’t slept in years, like he’s stressed. I don’t blame the guy though, running a business doesn’t look easy.
Now I’m even more happy that I helped him today.
I prepared two salads for Aspen and I incase he doesn’t have any food at home and put them in a bag to take with me.
There is no doubt in my mind that I will be coming tomorrow. I had such a great day that I want a repeat of it again.
“Uhh, Genevieve,” Raul stops me before I head out.
“Yeah?” I ask him.
“Please don’t mention that little mishap with Aspen. I don’t want to worry anyone,” he says.
That’s what assured me exactly what I predicted. Raul is not okay, and he’s now put me in an awkward situation by asking me not to tell Aspen. But I wouldn’t betray his trust like that.
“Yeah, of course. I won’t tell anyone,” I tell him truthfully, because I won’t, that’s not my business to tell.
He says he’s just sleepy, but I know what exhausted looks like, and Raul looks like the weight of the world is tucked into his apron pocket.
I’ve never really thought about what it takes to keep something like this running, or how often people like him just push through, pretending everything's fine.
The type of tired that doesn't go away after a nap.
After spending the day along Raul’s side, I have a lot of earned respect for him, and that’s exactly why I’ll be back tomorrow, helping him in any way I can.
I turn back towards the door. When I step out of the building and walk towards the car, Aspen is already waiting for me right in front of my passenger side door so he can open it up for me.
“Long day?” He asks.
“Yes, but great,” I tell him, then I give him a little peck on the cheek. He proceeds to blush and then opens my door and lets me get settled in before he closes and comes back around to his side.
He sits in his seat and says, “I’m glad to hear it. You sure you’re not a secret famous chef back home?” He asks.
I giggle because that would be something. At least I wouldn’t have to figure out what I want as my major then. “No, just lots of cooking with my brothers and watching the cooking channel I guess,” I tell him.
“I need to hop on that. First my best friend and now my girl tells me that. The cooking channel sounds like a hidden gem. We can watch it together if you want,” he says.
I should be telling him it is a hidden gem, but all I can think about is how he just called me his girl.
Did he really think of me as his girl? I don’t mind it, but we haven’t really put a label on what we are or have talked about where we go from here.
Does that make me his girlfriend? It is a question that lingers in the air around us both, that we are too scared to touch.
In the back of my mind, the tiniest voice whispers: What happens when Derek comes back?
Will Aspen ask me to leave and will that just be it?
Or are we going to enter a long-distance relationship?
These are questions that spin in my mind and I continue to ignore and put off.
I don’t even want to know the answers yet.
Because I have a feeling I’m not going to like the answer.
“Uhh, Genevieve?” He breaks my thoughts, his hand is rubbing my left thigh to grab my attention.
“Sorry! Yeah, I would love that!” I tell him as he drives out of the parking lot, towards his apartment.
As I’m staring out the fogged up window watching all the pine trees go by, my mind betrays me and I sit in the passenger seat thinking… I wouldn’t mind being Aspen Davis’ girl.