Chapter 31
It felt like I was operating on autopilot as I gave Kate and Luke the details of what I’d gleaned from the Wynbridge Autumn Festival.
I didn’t stay long and with Erik’s gift zipped safely into my jacket pocket I headed to the Grow-Well.
Graham set me the task of weeding and digging over a patch of land, which I threw myself into.
By the time I’d finished I was exhausted, dirty and although delighted to have accepted the dream job, Erik’s sudden and silent disappearance didn’t sit well with me.
Cross, hurt and confused best summed up my emotions, despite my former determination to go with the flow, as I checked the bulbs in the bothy and then later lay in an Epsom salt enhanced bath.
I tried not to keep looking at the gift which I still hadn’t opened, but my gaze was constantly drawn back to it.
After a night spent tossing and turning and once Rafe had shouted up the stairs that he was off to see Grandad George, I padded down to the kitchen with the present in my hand.
I sat at the table with a coffee, and the cats nearby, and gently pulled the red ribbon undone and lifted the lid on the box.
‘Oh Erik,’ I breathed as I lifted out a pendant I’d fallen in love with during our look around the Wynbridge market.
The top of it featured an exquisitely hand-sculpted fly agaric and this was set above a beautiful rose quartz crystal.
I had never seen anything like it before and had regretted not buying it at the time.
Erik had obviously seen how much I liked it, even though I hadn’t specifically commented on it, and gone back for it. How intuitive he was.
As much as I adored it, I wasn’t sure I would be able to wear it. That would depend very much on whether our friendship was going to survive the challenge it was facing. I knew I’d think of Erik every time I put it on, and for the moment, I couldn’t bear that.
As incredible as the night I’d spent in his arms had been, potentially losing him for good felt like the highest price to pay for it.
We’d gone to so much trouble to set out the ground rules to protect our relationship, but with him disappearing and making no attempt to contact me, it felt like we shouldn’t have bothered.
But then there was the gift of the pendant… Though that, I then remembered, must have been bought before we’d tumbled into bed together. That said, whatever Erik’s reason for buying it, I still wanted to thank him for it.
‘Thank you for the pendant,’ I read croakily as I typed. ‘It’s every bit as beautiful as I remembered. Kate and Luke have told me you’ve gone away. I hope everything is okay…’
My finger hovered over the keys as I dithered over how to sign off. I couldn’t decide whether to add ‘love’ or not. In the end I opted for my name with a lower case ‘x’ after it, then set the phone aside and repacked the gift into its box.
‘That Erik is in the paper again!’ declared Freddie Fanshawe when he found Rafe and I talking to Grandad George in his room the next morning.
We’d gone in early so I could chat ahead of my usual Thursday volunteering hours, and my grandfather was sitting in a chair with a blanket over his legs and looking, just as he’d predicted, very much better.
‘Not with you this time though, Skylar,’ Freddie laughed as he handed the paper to Rafe. ‘This is a different lass. That fella certainly gets about. I remember those days! A different girl on my arm every weekend.’
Grandad George rolled his eyes, and I willed my face not to flush.
‘I can imagine you were quite the gadabout,’ he tutted at Freddie.
‘Did you know Erik was in London?’ Rafe asked me.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Kate and Luke mentioned it earlier in the week.’
‘This says the woman he’s with is a sports presenter,’ Rafe frowned. ‘I wonder what that’s about?’ With Freddie still listening in, I decided not to mention Erik’s job offer. ‘Do you want to see?’ he asked me.
‘Not especially,’ I said, but took the paper anyway. I glanced briefly at it before handing it back to Freddie. ‘They look good together, don’t they?’
I remembered Mabel saying the same thing about Erik and me.
‘Very,’ Freddie agreed. ‘Right, I’ll leave you three to chat.’
Whistling, he sauntered off towards the dayroom.
It felt rather like he’d lit the touchpaper and left.
I didn’t want to feel so impacted by the photo, but I did and I wished I wasn’t in company while I processed it.
It couldn’t mean anything other than Erik had gone to London to accept the TV job and then gone out with the stunning presenter, who was likely his co-host, to celebrate.
If I’d really friend-zoned him again I wouldn’t have felt any response to seeing them together, but I did and it was a decidedly queasy sensation.
‘I can’t imagine that photo meant anything,’ Rafe said.
‘I was just thinking the same thing,’ Grandad George joined in. ‘After all, those ones of you and Erik didn’t mean anything did they, Skylar?’
‘The press love nothing more than to twist a story into something that will sell their papers,’ Rafe continued. ‘I was a victim of it myself when I was supporting a married actor chum and the media made out—’
‘I don’t know why you’re thinking I’m troubled by it,’ I cut in.
‘I’m annoyed rather than upset. Erik must be sick of being constantly snapped.
It got on my nerves when it happened and it’s far worse for him.
’ I remembered how fed up he’d been, but then if he was going to work in TV maybe he’d resigned himself to it.
Perhaps his presenter pal was helping him come to terms with the intrusion.
‘Anyway, forget about Erik. I have something exciting to tell you.’
I hoped that didn’t sound selfish, but I really wanted to share my news while they were both together.
‘You do?’ asked Grandad George.
‘Yes, I do. I’ll go and find an extra chair and then all will be revealed.’
I took my time finding a chair and by the time I returned, I was feeling much better and my well-meaning relations had thankfully finished talking about Erik.
‘So, what have you got to tell us?’ Grandad George asked, once Rafe and I were settled. ‘Good news, I hope.’
Rafe looked a little uncertain.
‘The best.’ I smiled at the pair of them. ‘I’ve got a job!’
My declaration was met with a stunned silence.
‘A job?’ Rafe swallowed. ‘Already?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I was offered it about a week ago. I haven’t mentioned it before because… well, never mind why, but I’ve accepted it and I’ll be starting in the new year.’
‘Oh, my dear,’ Grandad George said. ‘I want to be thrilled for you, but I can’t deny I’m a little sad, too.’
‘Why?’ I said, playing innocent.
I knew it was a bit mean to not immediately put them out of their misery with regards to the location, but I was enjoying building up to the best bit.
‘Because we love you being with us, Skylar,’ Rafe said sadly.
He sounded forlorn and I couldn’t keep the pretence up, even though just a second before I had been planning to string it out for maximum impact.
‘Well,’ I said, ‘I’m relieved to hear you say that, because I’m not going anywhere!’
‘You’re not moving out?’
‘Not when I’ve only got to walk across the road to go to work,’ I laughed.
‘What do you mean?’ Grandad George demanded, sounding confused.
‘The job’s at Prosperous Place,’ I was delighted to declare. ‘I’m going to be an events planner across the road from the square and working collaboratively with Kate and Luke rather than flying completely solo.’
‘Well, I never!’ my grandfather clapped.
‘Do you mean it?’ said Rafe.
‘Every word,’ I confirmed.
‘Oh, my darling girl!’ he sobbed. ‘I can hardly take it in.’
‘You’re pleased?’
‘Over the moon!’ he said and jumped up, pulled me to my feet and enveloped me in the longest hug.
‘As am I,’ joined in Grandad George and Rafe and I hugged him too.
‘I feel like Christmas has come early,’ Rafe proclaimed as we sat down again.
‘Me too!’ I laughed. ‘It’s the most amazing prospect, isn’t it?’
‘It certainly is,’ he agreed. ‘So, will you be working with Erik over there?’ he asked and I wished he hadn’t.
‘If there’s any meaning behind that news story Freddie’s waving about,’ I said lightly, ‘then no, I don’t think so.’
‘Oh?’ my father frowned.
‘Just between us, Erik told me he’d been offered a job as a television sports commentator and it’s my guess that he’s gone to London to accept it.’
‘That would explain the woman in the photo, wouldn’t it?’ Grandad George speculated.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘It would.’
‘I can’t help thinking that would be a bad decision,’ Rafe said after a moment’s thought. ‘Both for him and for you, Skylar.’
I suddenly didn’t feel like I wanted to continue refuting his insistence that Erik and I were, or had been given the current silent situation, attracted to each other.
‘Well,’ I said, ‘that looks like what’s going to happen. And I admit it, you were right to think we did have some feelings of attraction for one another, but we’re over them now and each moving on with our lives.’
‘Are you really?’ Rafe asked, rather than grumble about all the time I’d denied there was anything between Erik and me. ‘Is that how you truly feel?’
‘Almost,’ I confessed. ‘We both needed a friend when I arrived in Norwich and that’s what we’ve now agreed to return to being.’
Rafe’s gaze became more intent.
‘So, that means there was a time when you weren’t friends,’ Grandad George stated. ‘When you were more than just friends, I mean?’
‘Briefly,’ I said succinctly. ‘But it’s all done with now.’
‘For both of you?’ Rafe said.
‘I think so…’
‘It sounds to me like there’s a conversation that still needs to be had,’ my father said. ‘An honest one and the sooner the better.’
‘I can’t see the point now,’ I sighed. ‘Not if what Freddie showed us tallies up with the job Erik talked about. I want what’s best for both of us, so I’m happy to move on. I really am,’ I added because neither of them looked convinced.
‘Must be hard though,’ Rafe said. ‘You’re not someone who gives her heart easily, are you, my love?’
‘Who said anything about my heart,’ I said casually, again thinking about Mabel’s advice that I should follow it. ‘Now, I’d better go and find Beth before she comes looking for me. I’m supposed to be volunteering this morning in case you’ve forgotten!’
I ducked out of the room knowing that I was going to be the hot topic of conversation. Hopefully it would be exhausted by the time I was finished for the morning.
I didn’t look at my phone until Rafe and I were back at home that day and I had mixed feelings when I saw there was a message from Erik waiting for me.
Part of me wanted to read it straightaway but another wanted to delay.
I had a feeling that whatever he’d sent was going to lead us further to the end of something I still didn’t really want to finish.
My private feelings completely contradicted the public ones.
I’d never put on a braver face. Loath as I was to acknowledge it, my father had been entirely accurate when he’d said that I wasn’t someone who easily gave her heart away.
There could be no denying that mine now belonged to Erik, and I hoped that in time and with some distance between us, I’d find a way to reclaim it and lock it up tight again.
With hindsight I knew I’d felt more than attraction for him from practically the moment we’d met, but some love stories simply weren’t meant to be.
In my sitting room that evening, with Plato on my lap as my loving support pet, I finally opened the message.
I’m so pleased you liked the pendant, Skylar, and I’m sorry I came away without telling you. I regret that now. I should be back late on Saturday night. Can I come and talk to you on Sunday? There’s something I need to tell you. Erik x
I didn’t know if I could bear to see him, even though I had previously craved to, but Sunday was still a few days away.
Perhaps I’d be able to properly get a handle on my feelings by then, once and for all.
I’d keep myself busy. Throw myself into housework, gardening, ideas for more events at Prosperous Place…
oh, who was I kidding? It was going to be hell, but I’d bear it. I’d have to.
Great! I typed back. I’ll see you Sunday. In the morning would be ideal. No worries about not telling me and I love the pendant. Thanks again!
It was a breezy response but there was no signing off with a kiss that time. From that moment on, and purely for self-preservation, I had to harden my heart rather than follow it.