CHAPTER SIX COLLINS
CHAPTER SIX
COLLINS
He pulls out the chair in front of me, his back to the door. “Have you been waiting for long?” he asks me. I don’t trust my voice not to crack, so I just shake my head side to side. “Are you hungry?”
I clear my throat, making sure whatever is there is gone. “No, I just ate before I got here.” I put my hands in my lap so he doesn’t see them shake. “But if you’re hungry, you should get something.”
“Do you want a donut, maybe?” His eyes meet mine. “Or a piece of cake? Harmony is in her lemon era.” Harmony is Ms. Maddie’s best-kept secret, with a gift for baking that could easily get her on one of those cooking-show competitions on TV.
“I’m good.” I don’t trust myself to eat, afraid I’ll have to run to the bathroom to throw up, or even worse, not make it there and throw up all over him. That’s one way to tell him I’m pregnant.
“Okay, I’ll get myself a coffee and be right back.
” He pushes out of his chair, and I watch him walk away.
Since when is a back sexy? I try to remember if I even saw his back.
It was when he got out of bed to take care of the condom the first time and then the second time, but that was in a half-lit room.
He smiles at two people sitting at another table, and they smile back at him, then look over at me.
I know them. They’re at best confused about why he’s here with me.
I look toward the window. I’ve seen enough disgusted looks over the years not to need more; they’re already etched in my brain.
Outside, a woman I went to high school with is walking down the street, both her hands holding on to her children’s.
She’s smiling down at them as they make their way toward the park.
A memory of when I was younger comes raging back.
“Your dad will be here soon,” my mother said from the floor beside me. We were in a new apartment, the biggest that we’d ever been in. The building had over six floors because we were on the sixth floor, and the stairs led to another level.
“Can we go to the park?” I asked as I sat down beside her on the floor.
The only things in the apartment were the two bags of clothes we had, two yellowed plastic garden chairs that had once been white, and a small table.
We had a lot more things in the last place, but we had to leave in the middle of the night because they wouldn’t let us go in anymore.
Dad was able to bring out the two bags, but he had to sneak in through a window, and Mom and I had to hide in a nearby bush.
“If you are good and you do what Daddy tells you, then yes, we can go to the park.”
The door swung open. “Is she ready?” Sweat pooled on my father’s forehead.
“Yes.” Mom stood. “Did you get it?”
“Yeah.” He glanced over his shoulder. “We should get going.”
“Let’s go,” my mother ordered me. I got up and followed them out of the apartment and down the stairs. I recall the muggy heat when we stepped outside.
My mother walked quickly to keep up with Dad and turned to me to hiss, “Move your feet faster.” I started to jog. We turned a corner into an alley where a black wheelchair and a blanket sat.
“Get in,” Dad commanded. When I looked at my mother, she picked me up and plopped me down in the chair.
“She looks too healthy,” he sneered at my mother. “Did you put that makeup on her?” She nodded. “Okay, well, cover her and hope for the fucking best.”
He pushed the chair, and when we were close to the grocery store, he stopped and squatted down in front of me. “If anyone asks you, you’re sick.”
“But I’m not sick.” I didn’t understand. He gripped my face so hard that I whimpered. I looked at my mother, hoping she would save me, but she was more concerned with checking to make sure no one had seen anything.
“You’re sick.” He pushed away from me and then wheeled me to the entrance.
“Sorry, sir,” he said to a man pushing out a grocery cart full of food, “I’m wondering if you can help us out. My daughter is sick, and I have to take her to the emergency room, but we don’t have any money.”
Over and over, all day long, he stopped people.
It went from “She’s not feeling well” to “She needs emergency surgery” to “She doesn’t have long to go, and we just want to take her to Disney.
” I don’t know how much they collected that day, but I knew that it was enough for him to smile as he took me to the park.
I was running to the swings when one of the women who had given my father money that day saw me.
When she confronted him, he told her to fuck off, right there in the middle of the park with children around.
He then marched over and grabbed me by my arm, pulling me away before I even reached the swings.
That was only the first time he scammed people by using me. He kept doing it over and over, for years, until no one believed him anymore.
The memory vanishes when I hear the chair in front of me being pulled out. “Everleigh is going to bring me my coffee,” he says, intertwining his fingers on the table. My heart is beating so hard in my chest, it’s echoing in my ears.
“How is Sierra?” I ask, not ready to just jump into the conversation, in case Everleigh is going to come over. The last thing I need is gossip to spread.
“She woke up sometime during the night.” He sighs in relief.
“That’s good news,” I say as I catch sight of Everleigh walking to us, holding a tray in her hand.
“Hey, you two,” Everleigh says. “I know you said you didn’t want anything to eat.” She puts three plates on the table. “But I know you have a twelve-hour shift coming up, so anything you don’t eat I can wrap up.”
“Oh no.” The back of my neck starts to heat up as I calculate how much this is going to cost me. “Everleigh . . .” I try not to let my panic fill my voice.
“It’s fine,” she states, and quickly walks away from the table.
“She refused to let me pay for any of this.” Theo motions to the table. “We have to take at least a bite out of something, or else it’s rude.”
“That’s nice. You don’t want to be rude to someone who brings you a piece of pie, but you are more than okay with being rude to someone who you slept with?
” The minute the words are out of my mouth, I close my eyes.
Opening them back up, I see his face has gone pale. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”
“Collins,” he starts to say, eyes wide but not looking at me. I can already hear the letdown talk he is planning. The question is, how long do I let him go on before I say I don’t want anything from him, but I’m having his baby?
“Okay, you don’t need to say whatever it is you were thinking of,” I start. I reach for the glass of peach tea, my mouth suddenly drier than a desert on a July day. The sweetness hits my tongue right away. “I’m sorry,” I repeat as I put the glass down.
He grabs the cup of coffee he ordered and brings it to his lips. “I was going to say I sort of deserved that.”
“Sort of?” I sit back. “What do you mean, sort of? You literally took off while I was sleeping.” He looks down. “It really doesn’t matter anymore. It happened and it’s over.”
“Which is why I wanted to talk to you. I owe you an apology. What I did was not right.”
I scratch the side of my head. “Which part?”
“I’m—” he starts and then stops. “Are you saying you regret sleeping with me?” His voice has gone really low.
“Um.” I hesitate and laugh nervously. His face turns ashen white, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallows. “It was a wake-up call, that’s for sure.” I tap the table nervously with my finger. “Anyway, I wanted to meet you here because I wanted to talk to you.”
“I don’t regret that night,” he rushes out. “I, for one, really enjoyed myself.” His head tilts to the side, a twinkle in his eye.
The bell on top of the door rings, and two ladies walk in. I recognize them. They are in charge of the library in town. One of them looks over at me and smiles as she holds up her hand to wave hello; the other turns her head. Fifty percent is better than zero percent.
“Are you okay?” Theo asks, and my attention turns back to him.
“Yeah.” I suddenly want to get this over with so I can get out of here and get on with my day.
“It’s—” I shake my head. He doesn’t get to know me.
“Okay, so you wanted to see me, wanted me to tell you there are no hard feelings between the two of us,” I say quickly before I chicken out, “and that what happened with us was a onetime thing.”
“No.” I stare into his eyes and tilt my head to the side. I’m sure the look on my face is, Let’s be real with each other, so he caves. “Well, yes. But—”
“Listen, Theo,” I start, and then look around to make sure no one is looking at us or can hear us. The only ones nearby are the two librarians, but they’re engrossed in conversation.
The doorbell rings again, and this time it’s Brock coming back in with his daughter, Sage.
I’m expecting him to just motion at me with his chin, as if to say hi, but instead, he starts walking toward us.
I inwardly groan, nervous that Brock is going to say something that will have Theo thinking the worst of me before I can tell him I’m carrying his child.
It’s one thing to have a baby with a stranger, it’s another when she’s the town pariah.
“Hey, Collins, how’s it going?” Brock pulls out a chair and sits down, which shocks me. He’s never sat down with me before.
“I’m okay,” I reply, unsure of what is happening.
“How’s that new tire holding up?” My eyes quickly fly to Theo.
“Still rolling, so I guess it’s fine.” Theo is about to say something when Sage cuts in.
“Dad, I’m going to go in the back and tell Everleigh we’re here.”
“Okay,” he says and then turns back to us. “This is a lot of food for just the two of you.” There are untouched pieces of cake, pie, cupcakes, and lemon squares spread across the table.
“Everleigh said we had to try them.” Theo chuckles. “What’s up with you?”
“Not much.” He shakes his head. “I just got off the phone with my guy for the crane part you guys were waiting for.” He picks up a square and pops it in his mouth. “It’ll be here tomorrow. I’m assuming you guys aren’t going to be working at the barn until then.”
“No.” Theo shakes his head. “Caleb was the one who was taking care of that, so it’s going to be on hold until he comes back. I spoke to Charlie this morning about it.” Charlie owns Mustang Creek Ranch, and he specializes in equestrian therapy.
“Cool.” Brock pushes away from the table. “I’m going to go and see my wife.”
“See you later,” Theo says. Brock nods at me, gives me a smile, and turns to walk away.
“Wait, you work here?” I ask Theo.
“Yeah, I just moved here.” It’s all starting to make sense to me.
“What do you do?”
“I work with Caleb Walker at CW Construction.” I know the company. They rebuilt this bakery after a terrible fire. “About what you were saying before . . .” He puts his elbows on the table and leans forward.
“Yeah, about that,” I titter nervously. I know my time here is running out. I’m going to have to leave soon, and I need to get this over with before I lose the courage and don’t tell him. That would be horrible of me, and regardless of what people think of me, I’m not that person.
“That night,” I start, tucking hair behind my ear, “that was the first time I did anything like that.”
He smirks as if he just won something. “You don’t say—”
“Yeah, anyway,” I quickly interrupt him, “I’ve never really done the one-night stand thing before, so that was new for me.” I look at my fingers. “I’m assuming you’re a pro at them.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“You literally snuck out in the middle of the night. If that doesn’t scream fuckboy, I don’t know what does.” I close my eyes tightly. “I’m sorry, it’s more than okay if that’s the life you want to lead. I’m not going to judge you for it.”
“But you just did,” he points out.
“Is it judging someone if they are pointing out the obvious? I mean, are you going to sit there and tell me you don’t do one-night stands often?
” He stares at me, and his silence is deafening.
“Exactly. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there.
” I exhale. “Something happened that night, and well, I didn’t know you lived here since I’d never seen you before that night, or after—”
“I went to help my sister,” he tells me, “a couple of days after.”
“Right. Um, I’m going to tell you something right now, and you aren’t going to like it.”
“Oh my god.” He puts his hand on his mouth. “You have a boyfriend?”
“What?” I shriek louder than I want to, and now everyone’s looking at us. I look down, embarrassed that I caused a scene. I wait a couple of seconds before I hiss at him, “Are you out of your mind?”
“What else could you possibly tell me that I’m not going to like?”
“It isn’t that.” I swallow. “It’s—”
“Well, what is it?” he prompts, impatient.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt the words in one go, like ripping off a Band-Aid.
His face drains of all color. His mouth is hanging open, and I can see his chest start to rise and fall as if he’s just run a marathon. I know exactly how you feel, buddy.
“Yeah, so.” I put my own hand to my chest as my heartbeat starts to match his. “I would have told you when I found out, but I didn’t know who you were.”
“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, as if wishing the words away. “What did you say?”
I look around one more time, then back to him.
“I’m pregnant.” I say it so low it’s a touch higher than a whisper.
“I know this is a shock to you. It took me a full two weeks to wrap my head around it.” I can’t look into his eyes, so instead I focus on my fingers on the table.
“With that being said, I want you to know I won’t tell anyone that you’re the father.
” I close my eyes when the stinging hits them.
“No one is going to know.” My eyes rise up to his reluctantly.
“After I saw you yesterday, I figured the least I could do was tell you.” I push away from the table now.
“I have to go.” I grab my bag. “Bye, Theo.”
I rush out of the bakery, but even when I’m safe in my car, it still feels like all eyes are on me.
As if someone heard, and they are already starting the town phone chain, talking about Collins and her scam to trap a man with a child.
The first tear escapes the corner of my eye as I put my hand on my stomach. “It’s just you and me, kiddo.”