12. Collins
CHAPTER TWELVE
COLLINS
I shut the alarm off as soon as it rings since I’m already awake and in the kitchen cutting up an apple.
I went to bed at ten last night, as soon as Theo left.
My fridge is stuffed to the gills with more food than I’ve seen in my whole life.
The way I always dreamed a fridge should be, but it never was.
Even the freezer has prepared meals, pizzas, and chicken wings.
Some healthy, some not so healthy. He went out of his way to get me all this.
The thought alone makes my stomach flutter.
“He’s a smooth one, right?” I ask the flutters, wondering if it’s the baby or if I’m feeling this because I’m thinking of Theo.
“He bought me so much food.” I try not to let the tears escape, but they do.
“And I think I have enough things from the pharmacy until you’re at least five years old.
” I laugh as I grab the jar of peanut butter and put a dollop beside the apple slices.
“I guess last night gave you whiplash”—I whisper, sitting on the couch and curling my feet under me—“from meeting your grandparents and having the worst night ever, then having your dad come in and bring you all the things.” I smile as I dip a piece of apple in the peanut butter.
“I don’t know how I’m going to do it,” I say with authority in my voice, “but they are not going to fuck with you.” I cringe.
“I shouldn’t say the word fuck because that’s not a nice word to say.
” I smile. “I’m going to try to cut it out of my vocabulary.
” I take another piece of apple. “I also want to thank you for not making me vomit that cheeseburger because I think it was the best thing I’ve ever had in my life.
In. My. Life.” I take a bite of the apple wedge.
“We’re going to the doctor today.” I put my hand on my belly.
“So, that’s exciting. You’ll probably be poked at, and you might not like it.
I probably won’t like it, but we have to make sure you are okay. ”
I finish the apple and head to my bedroom to shower and get dressed. I slip on a pair of linen shorts and a tank top. My stomach rumbles at the same time his truck arrives in the driveway. I grab my purse and my phone and meet him outside.
He gets out of his truck wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. The bottom of his hair is still wet from a shower. “Hey,” he’s smiling at me, “how you feeling this morning?”
“Okay.” I walk down the front steps. “A bit nervous, but it’s going to be fine.”
“It’s going to be fine,” he agrees. “You hungry?”
“I want to say no, but,” I shrug, “I only had an apple.”
“Let’s get you fed then. We’ll go to the bakery.” He opens the truck door for me, and I want to tell him that we could just eat something here, but he’s practically lifting me up to get into the truck.
I put my hands in my lap as he pulls away from my house. The nerves of everything that’s going to happen today make the ride silent.
I’m thankful that when we walk into the bakery, no one is really there, which makes sense since they usually come in after nine. The only ones dropping in before then are people picking up stuff to go.
“Good morning, you two,” Ms. Maddie says cheerily. “What can I get you guys?”
“I’ll have an egg, sausage, and cheese bagel,” Theo says, looking at me. “She’ll have . . .”
“The same.” I reach for my purse to take out money. “And an orange juice please.”
He doesn’t even let my hand get halfway into my purse before he puts money on the counter. “Do you want us to wait here, or will you bring it to us?”
“You guys go and sit down, I’ll bring it over.”
I choose a table in the back, away from the front—where people would be able to see us clearly.
“Relax,” he whispers as he joins me.
“Easy for you to say,” I mumble as he smiles at me.
Breakfast is over in twenty minutes as we rush, and he gets up, holding out his hand for me. “We should go. I don’t want to be late.” We wave goodbye to Ms. Maddie on the way out.
We get to the clinic, and the doctor’s car is the only one in the lot. When Theo tries to open the clinic door, it’s locked.
“We have to knock.” I hold up my hand to the glass window that bears the doctor’s name. “Her clinic hours start at ten, but she’s doing me a favor.” I look at him. “It’s also going to be good that no one is going to see us. The gossip won’t be spreading.”
“I don’t care about that,” he says.
“You should.” It’s all I say because Dr. Louis opens the door, smiling at me. “Hi,” I say as she steps back to let me in. “Thank you so much for doing this for me.”
“I would be seriously pissed if you went to anyone but me.” She locks the door behind us. “I’m Dr. Louis.” She extends her hand to Theo.
“I’m Theo.” He shakes her hand. “I’m the dad.” He smiles at me, and I excuse the flutters in my chest as a result of the nerves and the baby just being fed orange juice.
“Right this way.” I follow Dr. Louis through the waiting area to an exam room in the back. “Okay, so we’re going to do things a bit differently. I’m assuming that you took a pregnancy test.”
“I did,” I admit, “and I had my blood drawn two weeks ago when I was in the hospital just to confirm.”
“Of course you did. Let’s get a urine sample, and we’ll just confirm again for my records”—she hands me a plastic cup with a white cover—“and then we’ll see what we’re working with.”
I head into the bathroom and turn the water on as I pee in the cup, then wash my hands.
When I walk out, the two of them are having a conversation like they are long-lost friends. I place the container on the desk beside her. “Here we go,” I breathe out, laughing nervously.
“You can have a seat on the exam table, and we’ll go through a couple of questions,” Dr. Louis says. “Your last period was when?” I give her the date, thirteen weeks ago. “Are your cycles typically normal?”
I feel a sense of embarrassment discussing my cycle in front of Theo. “All normal. Every twenty-eight days. They last five days.”
“Okay, let’s see what we have here.” She rolls over to me on her stool.
“Theo,” she looks at him, “if you can shut the lights.” He turns off the lights and then comes to stand beside me.
“Is this okay?” He asks me as I lay back on the table. I nod at him, and he puts his hand in mine and squeezes it. I have to think he’s probably just as nervous as me. I mean, it’s not every day that your life is thrown into chaos because of a random hookup.
She takes out a tissue exam sheet that covers me from the waist down. She tucks it into the top of my shorts. “Ready?” she asks me. Theo squeezes my hand, and I squeeze his back. She squirts the gel onto my stomach, then takes the transducer and presses it down.
My eyes go to the screen, waiting to see the baby. She presses a couple of buttons, and a sound like a bunch of horses galloping in a field fills the room. “That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” she says, and Theo gasps. It’s fast.
“Is that normal?” he asks, looking at me and then at the doctor.
“Totally normal,” she says. “Okay, so you’re ten weeks and three days.” She moves the transducer on my stomach to the bottom and then clicks a couple of buttons. “The baby is about 1.25 inches long.” She smiles. “Looks like they’re a bit big.”
“Great.” I look at the screen and see the baby, tiny arms and legs moving. A sense of unconditional love soars through me.
“Is that the baby?” Theo moves his head closer to the screen. “It’s official? She’s having my baby?”
“She is,” Dr. Louis confirms. As she explains all the parts to him, the only thing I can do is stare at the screen. I move my hand up to wipe away a tear, silently telling our baby how much I love them.
“It’s okay,” Theo whispers softly and then moves his face to me. I hold my breath, thinking he’s going to kiss my lips, but instead he kisses my forehead. “It’s all good. The baby is perfect.” The room is dimly lit, but I can see the huge smile on his face. “She’s perfect.”
“We don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy.” I look at Dr. Louis.
“I can’t get a clear picture,” she says, “but what I can say is everything looks like it’s going good.” She presses two more buttons, and ultrasound pictures are printed out.
“That is for you.” She hands them to me and takes a towel to clean the gel from my stomach.
“Thank you.” I sit up as she wheels away from me and turns on the light. “I want to see you in a month. Congratulations, you two.”
“Do we need to do anything to make sure she’s okay?” he asks, and I sit up. I’m looking at the picture in my hand, too distracted to pay attention to what they’re saying. It makes it so much more real. My free hand goes to my stomach in reflex, as if to hold him or her.
Dr. Louis steps out and quickly returns with a folder of information, which Theo takes for me.
“Thank you again for squeezing me in at the last minute, Dr. Louis. We should get going.” Theo helps me down, and I look at him, then at Dr. Louis. “I’ll call the office later to make my next appointment.”
“See you later,” she says. “I’ll be at the hospital this evening.”
“Um,” I hold up my hand to tell her that we’re not telling anyone.
“Your secret is safe with me,” she quickly adds, then glances at my belly. “But it won’t be a secret for much longer.”
When we walk out of the office and make it to his truck, Theo gets in and looks over at me. “Do you think . . .” He starts and then stops, and I can tell he’s nervous.
I reach out to touch his hand. “Do I think?”
“It’s okay if you say no,” he rushes out, “but do you think I could get one of those pictures?”
Tightness forms in my chest. “Of course,” I quickly say. “I’ll cut one as soon as I get home.”
He smiles, and neither of us says anything for the rest of the drive home, processing the appointment and the situation we’ve found ourselves in.
“You going to take a nap now?” he asks me as he turns into the driveway. I nod. “Okay, I won’t keep you. I’ll get the picture tonight.”
I lift my hand to the handle. “Thank you for taking me today.”