14. Collins
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
COLLINS
A couple of women with strollers pass me as I walk from my car down Main Street.
I smile at them, and they smile back as I move out of their way.
My hand goes to my stomach automatically as I pull open the door to the bakery.
The assault of fresh-baked goods hits my nose.
I close my eyes as if I’ve died and gone to heaven.
“Hey, Collins,” Ms. Maddie says, walking out of the back. “You look nice.”
“Thanks.” I smile at her, pretending not to notice the two women at the table in the corner. They’re watching me, clutching their purses to their laps.
“What can I get for you?” Ms. Maddie asks.
“What do you suggest?” I look into the case as if it’s the first time I’ve been in here.
“We just pulled banana bread cinnamon rolls out of the oven. I was about to add the cinnamon cream cheese frosting.”
“Say less,” I reply. “I will take two.” I hold up my fingers, knowing I’m going to keep one for Theo. “Can you put them in two different boxes?”
“Will do.” She walks back into the kitchen, and I turn my head. The women in the corner quickly look away. I swallow down a lump, and my head hangs down.
“Hey, Collins.” Mrs. Lambert, her hair and makeup perfectly done, has just entered the shop, a canvas bag over her shoulder.
Her daughter, McKenna, and I went to school together.
We didn’t hang out with each other, just knew each other in passing, and she moved away from home as soon as she graduated.
I think she even dated Hudson, a lieutenant fireman I work with, but that might just be the rumor mill spinning. “How you doing?”
“I’m okay.” I nod.
“Heard you got food poisoning the other day.” I don’t know why I’m shocked she knows this. She runs the town library, a position that she has had forever. She is also president of the senior bowling league, president of the church choir committee, and president of all things gossip.
“I did. But I’m feeling much better now.”
“I see that.” She smiles at me. “How’s life treating you?” Her eyes twinkle as if she knows the biggest secret in town. Just telling by her tone, I know she’s fishing for something.
“Um, good, I guess.”
“Saw you having dinner with that new boy in town.” She cocks her hip to the side and folds her arms over her chest. “The cute one with those blue eyes.”
I want to correct her and tell her that his eyes are much more than blue; they are gray at times, and sometimes it looks like he’s got yellow in the mix. Instead, I say, “Who?” and hope she can’t see my heart about to beat out of my chest.
“Yeah, you can’t play coy with me.” She winks. “Not sure I’d be able to keep him a secret. I’d want the whole world to know I was knocking boots with him.”
“Mrs. Lambert,” I try not to laugh, “I can assure you there are no knocking boots.”
“Now I know you’re lying. He’s a charmer, that one.
Jumping from one girl to the next.” I ignore the way the words sting, even though I was one of those girls who fell for his charm.
“But only because he’s looking for the right one,” she adds.
“See, he finally caught a good one. Anyway, I have to go, or else I’ll be late. ”
“You didn’t order anything?”
“I know. I was walking by and saw you and wanted to see if you were better from that stomach bug. You take care, Collins.” She walks away holding her hand up and wiggling her fingers. “Alice and Brenda,” she calls to the women in the corner, “you have a nice day, too.”
I gaze at the floor. Before I give the words about Theo and his other women a chance to bother me, Ms. Maddie comes out with a bag in her hand. “Here you go.” She hands it to me, and I reach for my wallet. “On the house.”
“What?” I grab the ten-dollar bill from my wallet. “That’s . . . no.” I shake my head. “Here.” I put it on the counter. “It’s me paying it forward.”
“You’re too good, you know that?” she declares, pushing my hand and the bill away from her. “Now, go before you’re late.”
“Thank you. I will let you know how they are.”
I avoid looking at the two wary women and head off to work.
Our first call comes in fifteen minutes after I’ve changed into my uniform, and it’s someone who thinks they have appendicitis. We then go directly to two more calls before taking a break.
“So . . .” Roman drawls.
“So?” I glance over at him as I drive us back to the station.
“What’s with you and that construction dude?”
I laugh. “Nothing. I got his number. I’m looking to do a couple of things to the house.” The minute the lie comes out of my mouth, it’s followed by guilt. So much fucking guilt, it’s hard to focus on the road. “That’s what we were discussing.”
“He brought you dinner.” I shrug. “That is more than, ‘I want to fix your house.’”
“Nah.” I try to get him to stop talking.
“Collins,” his tone is somber now, “when are you going to see what we see?” I snort. “I’m serious. If I didn’t think of you as a sister, I would totally try to get with you.”
“Eww.” I groan and fake vomit.
“Exactly,” he retorts as I pull into the station. Theo is standing out front, talking to Officer Burke.
“Looks like he came back to see you,” Roman teases.
I just shake my head, park the rig, and get out. Should I go to him or just head inside? Before I can decide, he makes his way straight toward me.
“I’m going to go,” Roman announces. “I’ll come get you if there’s anything.”
“Nothing is happening,” I whisper-hiss at him.
“Uh-huh. He looks like he’s about to either tear my head off”—he motions with his head toward Theo—“or take you away from here like King Kong and keep you on top of the Empire State Building.” I roll my eyes. “I’m not going to stay around to find out.” He heads toward the crew mess.
My eyes find Theo’s, and his face fills with a smile. “Hey,” he says, “I was hoping to catch you. I had to drop something off for Burke, and he was with Hudson.”
“So you didn’t come here to see me?” I ask him, unsure why I feel a slight twinge at that question.
“Well,” he puts his hands in his pockets. I wonder if we were at my house, and it was just us, if his hands would itch to touch mine. “I came here after work, during your shift, when I should be sleeping.”
“Don’t make me feel guilty.” I push his shoulder, and his hand comes up to hold it to his chest. “Theo.” He lets my hand go.
“OK, I’m stopping, but only because you’re at work, and I want to make sure everyone respects you.”
“Really?” I fold my arms over my chest. If anyone passed by, there is no way they would think we were together, not with my stance.
“Oh yeah.” He smirks. “Otherwise, I would have kissed you when I saw you.” My lips tingle thinking about it. The scruff of his beard looks shorter than it did yesterday, and I wonder if he trimmed it. “And then, I would have kissed you again.”
I’m trying not to laugh when my radio goes off. “I have to go, duty calls.”
“See you tonight. I’m coming with a surprise.”
“I think you’ve given me enough surprises,” I tell him as I make it to the rig at the same time as Roman, who is shoving a piece of pizza in his mouth.
“I’ll drive.” He hands me a piece. “You eat.”
“You’re the best.” I run back around to the other side, already stuffing my face.
The calls are nonstop for the rest of the night. When I finally drive home, my eyes are burning and my neck aches. Theo’s truck is parked in the driveway as I get out, and he’s standing there.
“Hi,” he says softly, his hands coming up to hold my face.
He bends his head and kisses me. My eyes flutter closed when his tongue touches mine, even though I want them to stay open.
I melt into him and the kiss, my hands going to his sides as his mouth gets hungrier and hungrier.
“Okay, let’s get you fed and in the shower. ”
“Okay.” That’s the only thing I’m able to say.
I’m trying to settle down, having been caught off guard by the way my heart just soared nearly out of my fucking chest. He kisses my head, one hand still cupping my cheek gently.
He slips his other hand into mine and makes his way to the steps where two bags sit.
“Don’t tell me you bought me more food.”
“Sort of.” He grabs the bags while I unlock the door. He walks toward the kitchen as I turn and lock the door, making a decision I hope I’m not going to regret.
In the kitchen, he’s already taking out a frying pan. “What are you doing?”
“It’s a surprise. Go take a shower. If you can take your time, that might help.”
I shake my head and walk to my bedroom, undressing and stepping into the shower. I don’t take as long as I should, and when I walk out of the bathroom, my mouth waters as I follow the smell.
He flips something in a pan and stirs a pot.
“What are you making?” I ask. He keeps his lips pressed together, playfully silent.
“OK, I’ll wait. I got you something also.
” I take the banana bread cinnamon roll from my bag.
“Although it might not be as good as whatever it is you’re making”—I hold out the white box—“it’s very good. ”
“We’ll see about that.” He pulls a plate out. “I don’t want you to watch, so turn around and look somewhere else.”
I do what I’m told, and when I hear the plate hit the table, I look over my shoulder. “Is it time?”
“Yeah.” I turn around, and my mouth hangs open. “I called Charlie at Mustang Creek Ranch, and he got his great-grandmother to give me a foolproof recipe.”
“You made me . . .” I put my hand to my mouth, not sure I’ll be able to hold back a sob, “chicken-fried steak with sausage gravy.”
“I tried.” He studies the plate with a frown. “I’m going to need you to tell me if it’s good or not.”
“I’m going to go out on a limb and say that it looks like the most delicious thing ever.” I walk slowly to the table, slide into the chair, and pick up the knife and fork. “Even better than the cheeseburger.” I take a bite of the food, and I close my eyes. “Holy shit.”
“Bad?” he asks. I just shake my head. He laughs as he pulls out a chair. “So, did you sleep last night, or, I guess, this morning?”
“What time did you go to bed?” I counter.
“About nine-thirty.”
I calculate in my head. “That’s not even five hours.” I cut a piece and offer it to him. He takes it off my fork and pops it in his mouth. “Not bad for my first try.”
“Not bad at fucking all.”
“So,” he starts, and I look at him, “I know you mentioned you had next weekend off.”
“Yeah.” My whole body is suddenly on guard.
“I’m going to go and visit my folks.”
I try not to let my disappointment show. It’s going to be hard not to come home to him. But I’m being silly, it’s not like we’re together really. “That sounds like fun.”
“I want you to come with me.” The minute he says the words, the fork falls from my hand.
“I’m sorry, what?” I’m not sure I heard him, but I’m pretty sure I heard him.
“I want you to come with me and meet my parents. I also want to tell them about you and the baby.”
“Theo, I’m not . . .” I try to think of words that will sugarcoat what I really want to say. There are none. “I’m not the girl you bring home to your parents.” The food I just ate feels like it’s going to come back up. “I—” He holds his hand up to stop me from talking.
“Collins, don’t fucking say that again,” he says firmly. “I want you to come with me, and I want to tell my parents we are having a baby together.”
“I don’t do well with parents. It’s not about you, it’s that .
. . it’s because my parents are . . .” I close my eyes.
“I don’t want to tell you about my parents.
” The tears come, even though I don’t want them.
He gently brushes them away. “But I know, eventually, you’re going to find out about them and—”
“Stop, or else I might do something that is going to get me in a lot of trouble.”
“What?” I look up at him.
“There are things about me you don’t know either,” he confesses, “and I want us to be open and honest with each other.” His thumb rubs my cheek.
“So, how about we table all of this for next weekend, and we get to know each other?” I swallow.
I don’t know why, but I nod. “So you’ll come and meet my parents? ”
“Under one condition.” He waits. “That you stop coming over here at 3:00 a.m.” His hand falls. “It’s not that I don’t like you coming here. Trust me, I like it. I like it more than I should. It’s that you need sleep.”
“Don’t make me agree to that.” His voice is barely a whisper. “It’s the only time I can see you.” The way he says his words, I can feel them in my soul. “Don’t take that away from me.”
Not willing to be the one who puts that pained look on his face, I give in. “Fine, then you sleep here.” His eyes go big. “After I finish eating, you sleep here until your alarm rings.”
“But that will wake you up, and you need your rest.”
“Jesus.” I look up at the ceiling. “Are you for real? You’ve done more for me than anyone in my whole life.” Admitting that to him takes everything. “I will fall back asleep as soon as you leave, trust me.”
He holds out his hand. “So I agree to sleep here, and you agree to come with me to my parents’.” The grin on his face makes him so fucking sexy, I tingle all over.
My hand comes up to shake his. “Fine, deal.” He advances and kisses me. “Now it’s official,” he declares, and I laugh as I finish the meal he made for me.