Chapter 30
NOW: DIANA
“Then she went on to really sell me on protecting you from me, from what she’d experienced. And you’re not like me, gay, lesbian, whatever. You could have had normalcy.”
Maggie paused, tears streaking her face as she looked to Diana for confirmation. Diana’s mind was a whirlwind so she was a little late to respond, realizing with a curious start that they’d never actually discussed her sexual orientation before.
“We didn’t have the language back then,” Diana said, tightening her already impossible grip on Maggie’s hand.
She thought if she didn’t, she might blow away.
“I guess I consider myself omnisexual? Like bi on steroids? I don’t know, that’s how Jay described it to me, I don’t think that’s official,” she said, smiling, “But mostly I use pansexual because people have heard of it.”
Maggie nodded and kept going, “Well, as much as it hurt, I figured you could find a husband and could be normal, and so as much as I wanted safety, I wanted to keep you safe even more. What would I be—-I mean, look at the lengths Mary had gone to to protect Em, how could I say I loved you if I wasn’t willing to go as far or further?
And then it just became this impossible—”
But Diana didn’t let her finish. She was done.
Maggie was done. They were done. They had waited long enough, dammit.
Diana scooped Maggie’s face into her hands and she was kissing her like she needed to breathe.
Because she did. She needed Maggie in that moment like she’d never needed Maggie before.
She needed Maggie in that moment so much that if she didn’t have her, she would die. She knew it in her bones.
They kissed and kissed, passionately and full of tears and then they were ripping each other’s clothes off, doing everything awkwardly so they would have to break apart as little as possible.
“Diana,” Maggie breathed like a prayer, one that Diana intended to answer over and over.
She flipped Maggie onto her back. Maggie pushed up against her, “No, because last time I—-let me Dee, please. Please let me make love to you, worship you, make you feel everything I have denied you for so long.”
Diana turned onto her back and brought Maggie with her, tipping her head back as Maggie began to kiss down her neck, sucked on her collarbone, and dragged her tongue down between Diana’s breasts.
Maggie moved feverishly but intentionally.
Diana appreciated the fervor, because she was desperate to have Maggie everywhere as soon as possible.
Maggie took one of Diana’s small breasts into her mouth and Diana let out a moan as the other woman’s tongue moved across her nipple.
Maggie nipped slightly at the swell of her breast and then continued to move across her abdomen, the whole time caressing different parts of her with her soft hands.
By the time Maggie sank between her legs, Diana’s body was on fire.
This, she needed this, she would gladly open for Maggie and let her take whatever she wanted.
She always had. But this time, she didn’t think she’d wake up feeling like she’d lost something.
This time, she felt like Maggie was giving as much as she was taking.
Maggie’s tongue glided over every fold of Diana until it slid around her clit, and Maggie began to suck slightly.
“Fuck,” Diana uttered and then, “God yes, Mags, please, please, take me, please, have me, yours, yours, yours.” Maggie hummed slightly but didn’t stop her work, didn’t stop her worship, her pleasant resignation.
Diana slid one of her own hands over one nipple, tugging it slightly.
This was something she’d loved to do only with Maggie.
She had kept a strict division of labor between her and her other partners, but with Maggie, she liked to feel like they were doing everything together.
She worked her hand in time with Maggie’s kisses and caresses to her center, and her body’s heat was soon replaced by the swirling of impending pleasure.
“Fuck Mags, baby, I’m going to—” but she didn’t get the last words out as her orgasm slammed into her. Her legs went taut, her thighs trembled and she let her head fall back in a silent scream like a post-battle cry of victory.
As the haze of her orgasm faded and she slowly came back to earth, she realized she had tears in her eyes.
She shut them tightly and worked on steadying her breath as she felt Maggie slide up her body, trailing soft kisses.
When she got to Diana’s lips, the tenderness with which Maggie kissed her, punctuated by the taste of herself on her lips, broke Diana, and the tears fell and she buried her face in Maggie’s chest as Maggie held her.
They stayed like that for a few minutes while Diana got her breathing under control. She was unraveled and raw, but they weren’t done yet.
“It’s okay, Dee, I’m here, I’m here,” Maggie cooed, drawing soft circles over Diana’s back.
“I’m fine,” Diana sniffed, and she took in another deep breath.
The truth though was, she wasn’t fine. She was so fucking full.
Full of so much relief, but also full of so much happiness.
She was so full of bliss that it was like it was pushing out all the other emotions that had been swirling around her mind for the last couple of hours, days, years even.
All of them spilled out of Diana with each tear, filling her with even more happiness that they were finally out, finally gone.
“I am more than fine,” she said, pulling away from Maggie and looking up into her eyes which were also wet with tears.
“I’m so fucking happy, so happy, just let me be happy Mags,” she said, and she felt Maggie lean forward and kiss the top of her head.
Diana relished the sweet gesture, thinking back to how many years she wished she could have had access to it.
She knew she’d never take it for granted.
Rolling further into Maggie, Diana looked her in the eyes. “My turn,” she said, and Maggie smiled up at her sweetly, so genuinely it almost broke Diana again. She knew Maggie hadn’t yet had release, hadn’t yet released all of the things that Diana had just let go of, and she wanted her to.
“I feel like I don’t deserve it,” Maggie said, her voice shaky.
Diana looked at her. “Let me love you, Maggie. The more you deny yourself, the more you hurt us both. Please?” Maggie looked up at her longingly.
“Let us have this Maggie, please,” Diana said, and Maggie nodded.
Diana kissed her, and like Maggie had done before, she began to kiss her way down Maggie’s body.
She kissed her throat, her shoulders, and when she met the space between Maggie’s breasts, she tongued it the way she remembered Maggie liked.
It had been a long time since she’d had Maggie like this, and she wanted to hold on to every detail as she moved over her body.
Over the years, their bodies had softened and expanded under the weight of everything they carried in life.
And while Diana would never deny that Maggie was a hottie in high school and in her young adult years, she much preferred this version.
This body had the scars and stretch marks to prove it had not only lived but had survived.
This body was soft and warm and lived in, experienced, real, home.
Diana didn’t want to miss a part of Maggie’s body. She kissed and tongued her stomach, thighs, and then sat on her heels, holding one of Maggie’s ankles in her hand, slightly parting her legs as she looked down at the woman she’d loved since she was sixteen years old.
Diana met Maggie’s eyes, and without breaking eye contact, brought her ankle up slightly so she could kiss the inside, relishing the look on Maggie’s face as she closed her eyes at her kiss.
Diana took the moment to look at Maggie’s body, magnificent and lovely.
Her breasts, her soft stomach, and the neat light dusting of hair in between her legs.
Diana wanted to rub her face on it, breathe every part of Maggie in now that she had her like this, seemingly forever.
She had considered going down on Maggie a religious experience, but now she realized she didn’t want to miss the other woman’s face.
Besides, so far, it was looking like they really would have time for more later. For always. Forever.
Setting Maggie’s foot down so that her legs were even more parted, Diana slid up Maggie’s body until she was able to wedge one of Maggie’s legs between her own.
“Is this okay?” Diana asked when Maggie opened her eyes to look at her. “I want to look you in the eyes as I fuck you, make love to you, take you apart and put you back together.”
Maggie closed her eyes again and let out a small whimper as she nodded.
“Please Dee, I need you, I need us, or I feel like I’ll die,” she said, and Diana understood the feeling and wanted to sink into Maggie immediately, but she held herself back.
She wanted to savor the moment. She bent down to kiss Maggie deeply as she slid her hand up the woman’s soft thigh and then up until she could drag her fingers through Maggie’s short pubic hair.
She raked her fingers through for a few strokes and loved the way Maggie responded, her body tightening and loosening, her breath quickening.
“Dee please,” Maggie begged and Diana took two of her fingers and slid them down so they were against her clit, and Maggie moaned, her legs opening wider, as if begging Diana to enter her. To fuck her into oblivion.
Diana wanted to, she wanted to give her the same bliss that she was currently still nestled in. She could make Maggie beg later. Because they had a later.
Diana gave Maggie a few strokes before she slipped her finger down and her eyes rolled back at how warm and wet Maggie was for her.
God she had missed this. She dragged her fingers through her arousal for a few beats, feeling her own reigniting before slipping her fingers inside Maggie, slowly sinking down to her last knuckles.
Even after all this time, even after all her body had been through, Diana still knew every inch of her.
Knew that Maggie lit up when her front wall was stroked, but not so much anywhere else.
She rubbed her fingers against it, and found the spot she was looking for, and Maggie let out a gasp of pleasure before whimpering “yes” over and over.
As Diana fucked her, she rocked her hips in time, seeking friction and wanting Maggie to understand that she was fucking her with her whole self, her whole body.
Diana looked over Maggie’s trembling body, watched pleasure etch itself across her face before she bent down and kissed her deeply, plunging her tongue deep in time to Maggie’s moans.
Maggie wouldn’t come just from this, but it always got her right up to the edge.
Diana knew she’d been skirting the edge for some time, and so she pulled away from Maggie and sat back up on her heels.
She continued to finger her, adding her thumb to stroke her clit in time with each thrust. To top it all off, she took her free hand and pressed down slightly on Maggie’s pelvis, till she knew she was isolating the spot inside Maggie that drove her crazy.
“Oh my fucking God, Dee, yes, oh god yes, I missed this, miss you, fuck, fuck,” Maggie uttered, close to her impending orgasm, and Diana didn’t want to miss a moment.
She picked up her pace and Maggie slid her legs up so her feet were flat on the bed and she was thrusting her own hips in time to Diana.
Diana loved this, it was like she was playing Maggie’s body like an instrument, channeling her love and pleasure and passion into every note.
“Fuck Dee, I’m coming, holy shit, I’m—” and Diana watched Maggie fall apart, and knew that after she’d be whole.