Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
SUTTON
- Present Day -
A knock sounds at the door, and I nearly jump out of my damn skin. I can’t do this. I’m not ready. I’m -
“Hey.”
My door opens slowly, and Jonah’s head peeks from around the corner. “You indecent?” His eyebrows waggle in an exaggerated manner and I huff, rolling my eyes.
“I think the question you are supposed to be asking is if I’m decent . Not the other way around.”
Opening the door wider, he steps into the room, giving me a slow one-over. He whistles, shaking his head slowly.
“Hot damn, woman. You are just as fine as I remember. And definitely sexier than what I have pictured in all of my many wet dreams.”
My face flushes, and I can feel the burning crimson from the top of my head down to my over-exposed cleavage. Self-consciously, I cross my arms over my chest, covering as much of my scantily lace-clad top as I can .
“Hey, now.” Jonah steps closer to me. Reaching out, he gently pries my arms apart and holds them out to the sides, exposing me to his lingering gaze once more.
“You know I'm joking, but you truly are beautiful, Sutton. Absolutely exquisite. I know you’re nervous about going through with this, but I’ll take however much or little you are willing to give me.
Even if it’s only for tonight. You know that, right? ”
I swallow thickly, nodding.
“And you know that you don’t have to do this? Just say the word and we can act like none of this ever happened.”
I nod again slowly, unable to speak.
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
I freeze, unable to nod, but unable to say ‘no’ either. Licking my lips nervously, I try to find the words.
“You – you know I never meant to lead you on. After that night at the Serenity Room? I. . . well, I never thought that we would be here. Like this.”
Jonah opens his mouth to speak but I hold up my hand, raising it gently to his chest.
“I care about you, Jonah. And I trust you . . . with my heart and my body. I think, for my own sense of closure I need to see what all of this means. What it could have meant with Cal. But I need you. I don’t think I can do this on my own.
And I know it’s a lot to ask, and I know it’s unfair of me, but -”
His lips brush against mine, silencing me.
His warmth seeps into me, giving me the reassurance I desperately need; his lips are firm and coaxing against my own, his hands reaching out to cradle my face.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I allow myself just this single moment in time to give in, to relax into the comfort of his embrace.
His chest is warm beneath my hands, and his tongue teases at the entrance of my mouth.
Opening up to him, he guides me in a well-practiced dance, as if our bodies have a mind of their own and are connected on some deeper level.
And maybe they are. I can feel my heart pulsing in my veins, electricity thrumming through me as I lose myself to kiss.
He has always been such a damn good kisser.
Breaking away, he leans his forehead against my own and I can feel his heart racing as rapidly as my own.
He lets go of my face, but reaches out to grab my hand.
Without another word, he leads me out of my room and across the apartment to his own.
I pause, standing awkwardly next to his bed, unsure what to do next.
I watch curiously as he stands before me, reaching into the back pocket of his jeans.
He pulls out a long, silky piece of fabric, and raises an eyebrow as if in challenge.
“Do you trust me?”
I bite at my lip, not having to even think about my answer. “Of course.”
“And you are sure this is what you want?”
I move as if to nod, but he cuts me off.
“I need your words for this, Baby Girl. This is only going to work if you communicate with me and are completely honest with yourself.”
Letting out a shuddery breath, I look him in the eyes, trying to portray a confidence I absolutely do not feel right now.
“I want this.”
“Then close your eyes.”
I hear his footsteps, sense the motion as he moves to stand closer, before feeling the silk fabric brush gently against me.
Covering my eyes, he ties it firmly in place.
I’m shrouded in darkness, but I can sense the light in the room.
Calloused hands, rough from years of training both in and out of the hockey rink, guide me backwards until I feel my legs hit the back of his generously sized bed.
“Sit.”
I do as he says and wait .
The wood floors do nothing to disguise the echo of his steps as he crosses the room, and my breath hitches when I sense, rather than see the lights in the room dim.
“I want you to turn onto your hands and knees and crawl for me. Don’t stop until I tell you.”
Oh god. This . . . this should be humiliating.
I’m wearing a barely-there lace crop top and booty-shorts that do nothing to cover my thick thighs and less-than-perfectly-flat stomach.
And I know that Jonah has seen me naked; hell, he’s touched and tasted damn near every part of me.
But I have never been able to let myself relive that one night, for fear of our mutual attraction ruining one of the best friendships I have ever had, not to mention the fact that I ‘ve still been unable to fully let go of my feelings for Callum, even after all this time.
I never thought I would be at a point where he would see me like this.
. .again. And certainly not since I have gained back so much of the weight I had lost when I was sick.
“Right there.”
I freeze, awkwardly resting on my hands and knees, all ass and thighs, frazzled hair and racing heart.
“You look so fucking incredible, Sutton. Like a goddamn siren. I can’t wait for that fucker to get here so I can taste that incredible pussy of yours again. You don’t know what you’re doing to me right now.”
Oh.
Oh. my.
My breath hitches at his words.
“I want you to turn around, Baby Girl. Turn to face the sound of my voice and sit back on your heels, resting your hands on those fucking glorious thighs.”
I do as I’m told.
Soft music begins to play a provocative, sultry tune, the woman’s voice full of lust. I hear a soft whir underneath the sexy music, and smell. . . I don’t know what, but it’s woodsy and flowery and savory and intoxicating.
“I’ve got some of your essential oils going.
And I lit a few candles. Some lavender to help soothe your nerves, but also that other blend you talked so much about a while back.
Something to hopefully help set the mood for you.
” Footsteps move closer, and I feel a slight dip of the mattress before his breath brushes against my neck.
“Now you wait here like the good girl you are and I’ll be right back.” A sharp nip at my earlobe shocks me enough that I gasp. Not from pain so much as from the fact that I wasn’t expecting it. The mattress shifts once more, signaling his departure, and I hear the footsteps move quietly away.
One agonizingly long minute morphs into the next, with only the sounds of my ragged breaths and the sultry voice filling the silent void as the song plays again on repeat.
I inhale deeply, trying to focus on the lavender and bergamot and whatever else was in the candle blend I stupidly suggested to Jonah all those months ago.
Damn, what is taking him so long?
Time slows to a crawl, and another slow breath does nothing to soothe my shaky nerves.
After what feels like an eternity, the faint tread of footsteps sound outside the door. Muffled voices that I can’t quite make out over the music.
Shit. This is really happening. Okay. Just breathe. Live in the moment, Sutton. You’ve got this.
I don’t hear the door swing open on its silent hinges. Only the slow thud of footsteps pressing forward on the hardwood floor alert me to the men in the room. Men. Plural. He came. Ohmygodhecame!
I can feel my hands starting to shake with nerves and I press them into my thighs, nails digging into the soft flesh to try to ground myself .
“Cal? Jonah?” Yep, my voice is shaky too. Lovely. That’s really sexy, Sutton. You’re a real catch, for sure.
“I’ve got you, Baby Girl.”
The bed dips, and warm hands reach for my own. The voice sounded from behind me, but those hands. . . they’re not the ones that I’m used to.
“Hey, Shorty.” A soft kiss is placed on the inside of my wrist, and my breath hitches.
He guides my hand forward, and I’m greeted by a solid warmth.
Cal’s chest. It’s through his shirt, the cotton soft against my skin, but I can feel the heat radiating off of him; I can almost hear the pounding of his heart in time with my own. “Hold on to me.”
He raises my other hand, but rather than kissing this one, I feel a soft nip, the lightest graze of teeth brushing against the sensitive skin.
My fingers flex, instinctively grasping at his shirt, desperate to hold on to something, anything, to ground me in this moment. To help me believe that this is really happening.
Firm hands run along my collar bone from behind me, grazing lightly along my neck as they pull my hair back.
Jonah . I can feel his gentle tug as he fists the strands in one hand, the bed dipping to match his weight from behind me.
I’m overwhelmed with sensation as heat envelops me, Cal from in front, his knees brushing against my own, and Jonah now pressing closer from behind.
The darkness from the blindfold, being unable to see anything, only seems to heighten my sense of awareness. Every touch, every breath, every motion. I can feel it on an almost instinctual level, and it’s overwhelming, all-consuming. A fire starts to burn within me, competing with my shaky nerves.
I feel the warmth of a breath against my skin as Jonah leans in, placing a soft kiss just below my ear.
Cal kisses my wrist once more and a shiver races through me, goosebumps trailing in his wake as I lean into the sensation of him nipping up my arm.
“Relax, Farley.” Jonah’s voice sounds against my ear, before nipping at it, the soft reprimand hard to ignore.
“I’m trying.” My breathless tone is not lost on me.
“It doesn’t seem like she’s relaxed to me. What do you think, Newbie?”
I can almost see the amused expression on Cal’s face, despite the underlying tension in his tone.
It’s not lost on me, the gravity of this moment and what these men are both doing.
For me . They hate each other, but they are here, both giving to me in their own way. And why? I honestly don’t even know.
“She definitely seems a little tense. Think you can loosen her up a bit, Loverboy?”
There’s a long pause, thick tension filling the room as both men freeze. I shift uncomfortably, moving to pull my arm out of Cal’s grasp. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
His hold tightens around my wrist and I freeze.
“Loverboy?”
“Well, it was that or ‘fucker’ but you haven’t exactly made a move to ‘fuck her’ yet, so I thought ‘Loverboy’ made more sense. Got a problem with that?”
I try again to remove my hand, this time shifting away from Jonah as well. I don’t want to be in the middle of their pissing match, and I certainly don’t want to cause more tension between the two of them.
“Maybe I should -” My voice is soft, barely above a whisper.
Strong hands find my shoulders, holding me in place momentarily, before they start slowly kneading away at all the tension I’ve been carrying.
The hand that had been holding my wrist in place loosens, sliding slowly up my arm and I shiver as gentle fingers graze my jaw.
“Loverboy, it is. . . For now. ”
I jolt in surprise as lips, warm and somewhat unfamiliar, meet my own. “Relax, Shorty.” Hands thread into my hair, pulling me closer, angling my head as teeth gently nip and tease, urging silently for me to open.
The hands that were on my shoulders now work their way slowly down my spine, another mouth once more trailing kisses along my neck and back.
I’m lost in a sea of sensation, hands and lips are everywhere, heavy breaths mingling with my soft whimpers as I sink into the overwhelming sensations threatening to pull me under.
I feel like I am falling and floating all at once as my back hits the pillowy-soft comforter covering Jonah’s bed.
I hadn’t even noticed that Jonah had moved from behind me, but there are hands now trailing along my legs, helping to move them into a more relaxed position, urging them open as a mouth travels down my neck, over my breastbone.
“Oh.”
My voice is soft, the gasp escaping when warm wet heat meeting the lace of my top creates a delicious friction as Cal begins to suck on my nipple through the delicate fabric.
My hands reach out, desperate to hold on to anything, and I find his head, fingers threading through his hair, urging him to continue.
“You like that, Baby Girl?” The voice sounds from somewhere south of my waist, but I don’t care. At this moment, I don’t even give a damn that both of these men, two very different men that I have craved and loved in different ways, are seeing me at my most vulnerable and exposed.
“Y-yes.” I don’t even recognize the breathy voice that comes out of me.
“You're such a good girl for us. Look at how relaxed you are. You are so damn beautiful. You know that?”
A breath shudders out of me as Cal shifts to my other breast, timing his transition with Jonah’s words.
My nipples tighten, rubbing against the damp lace of my top, and I’m not sure if it’s from Jonah’s words or the sudden chills running down my spine, and Cal groans in response, sucking harder on my nipple, tongue flicking out to circle the stiff peak.
I can’t speak, can barely think, too caught up in the moment to register the words directed at me.
“Hmm. I don’t think she recognizes how beautiful she really is, Loverboy. Maybe you need to do a better job of showing her.”