Tool of the Gods
I t was hard to breathe, as though some great weight rested on her chest. As the haze of dreams dissipated and the particulars faded from memory, she slowly awakened to find a pair of coal black eyes peering at her at very close range, and an equally black nose inches from her own.
Eyes and nose were set in rough, white fur.
“What . . . ?”
A pink tongue lashed out to lick her lips and nose.
“Ugh!” She wiped her mouth. “Blech!”
“Finder, come,” said a familiar male voice.
“Oof!” she exclaimed when the terrier launched off her belly to the floor.
It took a few moments for her to gather her wits and realize what the presence of a Hillander terrier meant, and to whom the voice belonged. She turned her head to see Zachary sitting in a chair by the fire with a book open on his lap.
“Karigan,” he said, “how—?”
She missed the rest of his sentence for she hastily jumped to her feet to bow.
“Your Majes—” However, a blanket that had apparently been spread over her as she napped slipped to her feet and entangled her ankles, causing her to trip and fall.
She could not save herself. As she hurtled toward the floor, she visualized in a mere instant herself sprawled in an inglorious heap at her king’s feet.
Only, her vision did not come true. Zachary caught her.
“I’ve got you,” he said.
“Yes,” she murmured, “you do.”
His nose was as close to hers as Finder’s had been. Just as she thought of that, she’d the ridiculous notion of Zachary licking her nose. She snorted and laughed, and laughed even harder when she thought of better uses for his tongue. He raised his eyebrows in surprise and carefully righted her.
“Sorry,” she said, dabbing at tears. She couldn’t stop giggling.
“Are you quite all right?” he asked, clearly baffled.
Idiot, she chided herself, and when another snorting laugh escaped her, she clapped her hand over her mouth. Dear gods, get a grip on yourself, girl.
She cleared her throat, stepped out of the blanket snarled around her feet, and gave her king a proper curtsy. “Your Majesty.”
“My lady,” he replied with a bow.
They stood there gazing at one another and she realized her hair and clothing must be rumpled and wrinkled. And she was barefoot. Quickly she stepped into her slippers.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t know you were here. I meant to be awake, but I napped and thought I’d be awake before you arrived. I meant to be, but I...wasn’t. I, um, hope I didn’t keep you waiting long.” Dear gods, now she was babbling.
“Not too long,” he replied. “I’d my book so it seemed a very short time.”
She cringed inwardly. Long enough for him to undoubtedly hear her snore. But then, it wouldn’t be the first time.
“Shall we sit?” he asked.
He returned to his chair and she sat on the sofa as decorously as her bedraggled condition allowed. Finder lay stretched out by the fire.
“I’m afraid I was anxious to see you,” he said.
That sent a flutter through her. “You should have awakened me.”
“The menders told me you might still be weary. I did not wish to deny you any healing sleep you might need. How are you?”
Flustered? Embarrassed? Off-kilter? Happy to see him? Definitely. “I’m well.”
“Do you feel up to talking about what happened?” he asked.
“I do, though much of it feels like a bad dream.”
“I...understand, at least from the little I experienced when I anchored you. The cold...”
If she closed her eyes and thought about it, the darkness filled her mind, the sensation of falling, the frigid bite of the heavens, and she had been somewhat protected by the avatar’s armor.
“Karigan?”
When she opened her eyes, he was, to her surprise, on his knee before her. He held her hand and the warmth of his touch thawed the memory of the bitter cold.
“It’s all right, it’s all right. I’m fine, really.”
“It was like you began to slip away again and I—” Something caught in his throat. “I could not endure it if that were to happen.”
“I am not going anywhere,” she replied. “I promise.”
He bowed his head as if to collect himself, then kissed her hand before resuming his seat. If she’d been flustered before, she was doubly so now. She let go a little breath, feeling as though he’d moved a million miles away and not just a few feet.
“I should start by saying that few know you’ve been missing,” he said.
“The Green Riders know, of course, the Eletians, and select menders and Weapons. By the nature of your affiliation with Westrion, it seems prudent to maintain as much secrecy as possible. Those asking after you have been told you were ill with fever, a very plausible explanation given the sickness that has circulated through the city and castle. Those who know you were missing have been forbidden to speak of it. As far as the avatar business, I know it is not something you would wish to share, and out of caution I have told no one, although the Eletians seem aware to some extent.”
“Thank you. I believe it would be dangerous if it got out.”
“I quite agree. The beliefs of people are already challenged by the appearance of a new constellation in the night sky.”
“The process of its formation swept me away,” she said. “The death of Salvistar.”
He looked unsurprised and shook his head. “It seems impossible such a thing could ever happen, but much that had once seemed impossible has come to pass. Why don’t you start from the beginning with the wraith’s arrival.”
“When I am serving as the avatar,” she said, “it is like I am at a distance. Everything is happening from afar. A dream almost, so I can’t clearly remember everything.”
“Do your best. Did the wraith indicate why it was seeking you?”
She crossed her arms as if chilled as she recalled Lichant’s words. “To take me to Mornhavon. To break and...turn me.”
Finder must have sensed her distress for he jumped up onto the sofa beside her and nosed her hand for pets. He leaned against her to make his belly readily accessible, which she promptly rubbed. When she looked up, Zachary’s expression was intense.
“You would never...The wraith will not get near you again. I’ve had my best trackers on its trail, but it seems it has made its way toward Blackveil. I’ve had Rider Quick placing more wards around the castle and warned Lord Alton at the wall to be vigilant.”
She did not think Merla’s wards would stand up to a creature like Lichant, but it would at least give them some time to ready for combat should it attack again. “I cannot stay a prisoner in the castle.”
“I know.”
“Nor in the city. My duties—”
“Your duties are likely to keep you nearby for the duration. But you are correct, you do have duties when you are ready, and I will not restrict your movements.”
She sank back into the sofa in relief. Finder nudged her hand to encourage her to continue with the belly rubs. She did so, but grimaced at an unpleasant whiff of gas he gave off. Still, it was comforting to pet the little mop of fur while she told Zachary about Lichant’s god-killing sword.
“Yes, the Eletians told me of it. It is yet another weapon we are up against.”
It was even harder to explain what had followed, but bits and pieces were coming back to her.
“I don’t know if this is something that really happened,” she said, “or if it was actually a part of a dream, but it was like I landed on the crystal staircase to the heavens where Sevelon stood guard. We...conversed.”
“Sevelon? Really? What in the world did you talk about?”
She laughed. “I wish I remembered, but I think when we were done Sevelon pushed me down the stairs. I also talked to F’ryan. His ghost, I guess. In the place where my time as a Rider began along the Kingway.”
“Rider Coblebay?”
“Yes. All I recall was him telling me to take care of his horse. Condor, of course. Most of the rest of what I remember is the falling through the stars. Except...”
“Except what?”
“The true nightmare.” She told him of the dark ball and the return of Shawdell the Eletian.
“That is what you tried to tell me before Ben put the sleep spell on you,” Zachary said.
“That the gray entity was actually some presence of Shawdell. I am sure Telagioth will be very interested to know this. How Shawdell has survived in any form is hard to believe. And now it sounds as if he seeks vengeance.”
She hugged Finder closer and kissed his fuzzy head, then waved the air in front of her face at another gassy emission.
“I have nothing to add to any of this. What was real, what was not, I don’t know.
What it means that Salvistar is gone? No, not gone, but transformed.
I remember now. That’s what Sevelon said, that he was transformed.
But what it means I’ve no idea. The avatar is just a tool and the gods are not required to explain. ”
“Maybe they should be,” Zachary muttered. “You are so much more than a tool, and if the gods can’t see that...”
She called to mind coming face-to-face with the gods Aeryc and Aeryon, Valora and Lodan, and, of course, Westrion on the battlefield of the Sleeping Waelds.
Aeryon forbade her to speak of it, and she would not tell even Zachary.
Aeryon also promised her that she would know true suffering sometime in the future for the crime of merely looking upon the true visages of the gods.
“At least they didn’t burn my eyes out,” she muttered.
“What?” Zachary said.
“Uh, nothing, just something I was thinking about.”
They sat in awkward silence until Zachary finally said, “There is something else we need to speak of.” He looked distinctly uncomfortable.
“What is it?” What new concern or danger was on his mind?
His gaze was unswerving. “Us. We need to talk about us.”