Chapter Five Ashley
Chapter Five
Ashley
“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.” I’m mumbling incoherently as I drive down Betty’s long driveway to the road heading home. “That wasn’t supposed to happen, but holy freaking hell.” My heart is banging on my rib cage. I can’t seem to settle myself.
I’ve sworn off men since Jeremy walked out on me, and have no intention of changing that.
But if there was ever a man who would make me second-guess that decision, it’s the bare-chested one who just set my lips and libido on fire at the same time.
And he just so happens to irritate the hell out of me.
I can’t believe I kissed him. The man I can’t stand. And not like a proper kiss, but lips touching and breathing the same air for a split-second kind of kiss. My mind is spinning. Was it the fall that placed my lips on his or did one of us lean in those last few inches to make it happen?
Not me. I never even thought of him like that.
“Bullshit.” I can’t help but chuckle out loud.
That body has been appearing in my dreams whenever I get enough time to hit REM sleep anyway.
As much as I try to ignore them, ever since that night in Grizzly’s when I buried my head in his chest, the sexual tingles have been reawakened in my body.
How can you feel like that for a man you can’t stand?
These feelings have been dormant ever since Jeremy ran off with that little plastic-looking blonde.
But if I’m honest with myself, I think my sex drive died a few years before that.
That spark that was there in the beginning with Jeremy was dying, maybe on both sides, with him paying me less and less attention.
Sex sort of became a chore, and nobody wants to be in a relationship where you are almost looking at the calendar to schedule times for an orgasm.
I turn my car into my driveway. My finger starts tracing my lips subconsciously, and all thoughts of Jeremy are wiped from my mind, because no matter how much I thought I loved him, even in the heat of a deep kiss, it never felt like that!
I can still taste Jake on my lips.
His salty sweat, mixed with the taste of pure man, is something that I can’t describe and doesn’t even make sense to me.
There was something about how he tasted that makes me imagine what the rest of his body is like.
If I accidentally fell with my tongue out and it swiped up his rock-hard abs and sucked on his nipples, would I get the same explosion of my senses?
Or, God forbid, what if his shorts tore away from him as he toppled to the ground, and I just happened to gasp at the same time, so when I fell, my open mouth landed on his cock . . .
Oh, that would definitely be salty, and more man than I could probably handle.
Crunch.
“Shit!” I slam my foot on the brake so hard my whole body jerks forward and then back a little.
“You idiot.” I stare at Gerald, who looks so confused as to why I have just driven straight through the fence and into the side cattle yard where he has been stuck for the last week. “As if I don’t have enough to fix.”
Climbing out of the driver’s seat, I walk to the front of the car where I can see a few scratches and a cracked headlight, plus both the fence railings are now hanging in two off the post that they were barely attached to in the first place.
“I seriously need some sleep.”
Gerald lets out a loud moo, giving her opinion on the mess before me.
“Or between you and me, big girl, a good fucking wouldn’t go astray either. But don’t tell Tiffany I said that.”
Laying my arms down on the hood of the car, I rest my head on top of my clasped hands and pause for a moment to take a few deep breaths before pushing up again.
“Okay, no point in wasting time. Better find some wood to fix this and then go get some more fencing done before the sun goes down. The sooner you are out in the pasture again, the easier it will be on me. I can’t let Mr. Macho Man do it all, then take all the glory for fixing our joint boundary fence. ”
At the mention of the animals finally being allowed back out of the barn and cattle yards, Herb sticks his head out of his stall.
“Hee-haw, hee-haw, hee-haw.” He’s voicing his view like he always does when I’m talking out loud to myself, and the chorus of animals now starts to join in.
“See what you did now, noisy?” Walking to him and giving his head a pat, I soothe him before he starts a riot. Moving from animal to animal, until finally they have all had a few seconds of my attention, I get back to work.
I grab a bottle of water out of the old fridge in the barn, where I also store animal medication that needs to be kept cold for night-time callouts, and grab an apple that is all dented and I’m sure a bit bruised on the inside, but will sustain me until dinner.
Thinking of Jake’s opinion that I would need to pay someone to fix the fence, I start giggling as I grab my cordless drill and circular saw and wonder how quickly his mind would change if he could see me in action now.
Bold of him to assume I have enough money to pay a contractor to come in.
I paid the deposit for this farm with my life savings and now have a hefty monthly mortgage, so there isn’t much left at the end of the month to be shelling out for repairs.
Owning a farm and a business is a lot, and I was probably stupid to take this place on alone, but I will never regret it.
Home is where your heart is, and my heart is here with my animals at Windemere Farm.
Thankfully it’s been a week since my little run-in with my timber fence and no one seems to have noticed the damage to my car.
“I love homemade Saturdays,” Tiffany says as she links her arm in mine and we walk across the road to the town square.
Once a month all the shops close early and the town square fills up with stalls of people selling or trading their homewares.
I’m a sucker for Mrs. James’s fudge and the lemon butter from Lesley, Betty’s bestie.
Oh, and last time I picked up little hand towels with the button that you hang over the oven handle.
It’s so cute how everyone supports each other’s hobbies here.
I think it started as an excuse for the town to get together on a Saturday afternoon.
There is usually someone playing live music, and tables to sit with friends to enjoy the food and drinks up for sale.
“Me too. But between you trying to feed me cakes every day and all the amazing cooks in this town, my waistline doesn’t think it’s such a great idea,” I’m replying as we head to the corner of the square so we can start in the same spot we always do, at Mrs. Green’s homemade ice cream, which is to die for.
The honey crunch is my favorite but for Tiffany it’s double choc chip, every time.
With ice creams in hand, we start making our way around the rest of the stalls.
“Have you had any more run-ins with Jake?” Tiff asks slyly, hoping for more gossip.
“No, thank goodness. I make sure he’s nowhere to be seen when I head up to do any work on the fence.
But you know what he did yesterday?” It’s still irritating me.
“He undid some of the fence I had done and redid it. Like it wasn’t good enough or up to his perfectionist standards.
I hate know-it-alls, seriously.” I start licking my ice cream a little more aggressively.
“Anyway, let’s not talk about him. It will just wreck our perfect afternoon. ”
“Well, I think the amount you complain about him is a pretty good indication that you have a thing for him. I mean, the tea leaves don’t lie.” Tiff nudges my shoulder with hers and I just glare at her. She might be right, but I won’t admit it to anyone, not even myself.
“Don’t be ridiculous. We would kill each other. We can’t even be in the same room without getting into an argument. And you know that is my greatest fear. Being with someone who I fight constantly with and end up like my parents.” I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, but that was different and you know it.” Tiff looks at me with sympathy in her eyes.
“Why, because my father had an affair, just like Jeremy? But instead of disappearing without notice, my mom and dad fought like crazy for months before he finally left. Seems to be a common thread in my life. Men who say they love me but don’t stay.
So why would I choose another man that will eventually just leave too.
” Crunching into the ice cream cone with more force than was needed, my teeth hit each other hard.
“Your father was a douchebag and Jeremy leaving had nothing to do with you, that was all on him. You can’t give up on the chance of finding a good man. There has to be someone out there. I know you want to get married, with kids and the perfect happily ever after. You told me that before, right?”
Tiff’s words hit hard because I had. I even thought I had found it, my forever person to build that life with, but it all just slipped away. And I’ve been telling myself that I don’t want that kind of life anymore, but the truth is I’ve been lying to myself.
“What about you?” We both look at each other and then immediately start grinning because Tiff is always on the lookout for the next man who’s going to satisfy her free-loving ways.
“Time to change the subject.” Tiff controls her giggles as she stops at the secondhand table. She loves to collect old teapots. Her shop is already full of them, but she always finds room for more.
With Tiff engrossed in the stall, I start looking around.
Everyone in the town is out this afternoon with the weather being so great.
And that’s when I see him. Jake, swamped by the single ladies of the town.
I should have guessed it wouldn’t take too long before they would find an opportunity to pin him down.