Chapter Thirteen Ashley
Chapter Thirteen
Ashley
I send Jake for some takeout pizza while I drive home to Windermere to feed the animals.
The time on my own gives me a good idea of having a picnic outside.
Grabbing a blanket, some glasses, a bottle of wine, and a couple of beers, I set it all up on the grass out front of the house.
Hearing his truck rattling up the drive, I kick off my work boots and take a seat on the blanket, waiting for him to notice me.
Seeing me through the window, Jake’s whole face lights up and that one dimple that always makes the butterflies in my stomach take flight.
“I hope you’re hungry. I couldn’t decide on which topping to get, so I ordered two pizzas with different half combinations.
So you have four to choose from.” Taking the pizza boxes from the front seat of his truck, he places them on the blanket and drops down next to me.
“And before you say anything, I know I was out of place in the clinic tonight, so I apologize—but I’m not making any excuses for being protective of you.
” Flipping the lids on the pizza boxes, he avoids looking up at me.
“Thank you, and yes, it was out of place because Beau doesn’t think of me that way.” Not wasting much time checking out the choices because I’m starving, I take a piece of my favorite pepperoni, and the first bite tastes amazing.
“Mhmm, okay.” Jake glances at me. “You just keep thinking that. You haven’t noticed the way he looks at you. There is no way that guy doesn’t think his new boss is hot. I mean, he’s not wrong, but now that he knows you’re spoken for, he’ll go looking elsewhere.”
I raise an eyebrow as I reply, “He needs to be careful where he goes looking. Tiff already has her sights set on him, and she hasn’t even met him yet. He won’t know what’s hit him if she gets her hands on him.”
“How are you two friends? I mean, she’s great and a lot of fun, but you aren’t alike in any way,” Jake points out as he grabs a slice.
“When we were buying the Abbey Falls clinic from the old vet who was retiring, he told us about a house that was for rent in town. Turns out it was Tiff’s.
She had already decided to move into the back of the teahouse and from the moment I met her, she claimed me as her friend, kind of like kids do on the first day of school.
To be honest, I never would’ve made it through the last few years without her.
She got me out of bed and back into the real world while fending off all the nosy nellies in town and making sure I was eating properly.
I love her, and every one of her quirks.
“Besides, I think that it’s a good thing we’re different. You don’t want to be the same personality as everyone, otherwise life becomes boring. I mean, look at us.” I wave my finger between us as I take another bite. “You hate animals, and I hate the woods, especially at night.”
“I don’t hate animals. I never said I hated them.
You all just keep saying that,” he mumbles through his mouthful.
“I just don’t have any connection with them, and my first introduction to farm animals was with a very annoying goat named Daisy, a female cow with a very male name of Gerald, and then there’s this donkey named Herb, who never shuts up. But hey, I’m trying.”
He stops to take a breath before locking eyes with me.
“I’m only going to admit this secret out loud just this once, and then I will deny that I ever said it, but .
. . Rosie is pretty cool, most of the time.
And I can see what having her around has done for Gran in her grief.
Besides, she found you when you were lost and look where that’s led us .
. .” Reaching out and grabbing my hand, he lifts it to his lips and kisses the top of it.
“Right here.” Then he drops my hand again to grab a beer.
“I knew Rosie would get you to love her. There’s just something special about that dog.
” I raise my glass of Moscato to the beer bottle that he has just opened to cover up for the thumping of my heart.
No one has ever kissed my hand over a pizza box before.
Either that was incredibly romantic or I need to get out more.
We eat in silence for a few minutes, and I know that we are both trying to avoid the hard conversation that needs to happen.
Being so hungry before means I have eaten way too fast, and now I lie back on the blanket, looking up at the sky and admiring the orange-and-pink glow of the sunset.
“I love it when the days get longer, giving us the extra hours of light.” It’s that weird time of night where there’s still daylight yet you can see the faint moon and the stars begin to twinkle.
“Can you pick out the Big Dipper constellation that I showed you that night in the woods?” Jake asks as he stretches out next to me, crossing one ankle over the other, and links his hands underneath his head.
It’s the same way I remember him lying down in the woods that night.
“Is this a test to see if I was listening? Or do I get let off since I was in pain and it was difficult to concentrate?” I reply, knowing full well the only reason I was having trouble was because Jake was so close to me.
He looks up at the sky and smiles. “I’ll let you off this time, but looks like I need to give you some more lessons, and there will be tests afterward.
” Happily pointing the Big Dipper out to me again.
“When we were kids, we would all camp out under the stars with Gramps, glued to the sky as he taught us about the stars, in a line of little bedrolls filled with boys who wouldn’t stop talking and asking questions.
The girls tried outdoor sleeping once but decided a sleepover inside with Gran was more their style. ”
He sighs as he continues. “I thought my gramps knew everything, and no matter who got scared during the night, he would just pull them close and whisper a little story to them until they fell back asleep. I think it’s where I got the love of the great outdoors from.”
I can hear the love in Jake’s words for a man he hasn’t really given himself much time to grieve for.
“I bet you miss him.” Turning my head to look over at him, I see he’s still transfixed with the sky above.
“More than you can imagine. And mixed in with that is the guilt of not visiting over the last few years. It’s been a hard time to process, but by moving here and working in his barn, sitting around his firepit at night, I can feel him close.
” He stretches out his hand and links it with mine. It feels right.
“Why did you stop visiting?” I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing by prying, but I feel like he’s finally opening up to me and might need to talk it through.
“Danika didn’t like coming here. She’s a city girl and told me that she hated how quiet it was, that it was dirty, with nothing around to entertain her.
” His chest rises, sucking in a deep breath before letting out a deep sigh.
“I should’ve just come on my own but something always seemed to get in the way, and then it was too late. ”
“Is that why you’re here now, to make sure you don’t miss that time with Betty?” I can feel the regret radiating off him as he nods his head.
“Yeah, that, and to find myself again. To feel grounded. To start fresh.”
There’s something more he’s not saying, but if he’s anything like me, I know he can’t be pushed to talk about whatever that is until he’s ready.
He rolls onto his side, propping his head up on his elbow before looking at me. “But we have gotten off topic here. This chat is about us, not my sadness or regrets.”
He’s right, and even though I want to help him carry the weight of sadness in his heart, I’ll let him keep that tucked away until he’s ready.
It’s like his words give me permission to open the door too.
“I’m so confused,” I blurt out suddenly as I roll my whole body to face him, tucking my hands under my cheek.
“Tell me what’s going on inside that cute little head of yours,” he says sweetly.
“How long have you got?”
“All night.” He smiles at me, and I know he’ll be here all night if I need him to, that I can take all the time I need.
“Alright, here goes.” I pause for a second, trying to get my thoughts in order, but it’s no use because I’ve been trying to make sense of things for days and it hasn’t made any difference.
“I like you . . . really like you.” And there’s that dimple in his smile from my declaration. “We can’t deny the sexual chemistry between us is off the charts.” I feel my cheeks blushing slightly.
“If you think last night was good, you just wait until we get a whole night together.” He reaches out, tucking away stray wisps of my hair that a slight breeze has blown onto my face.
“Confident much?”
“Tell me I’m wrong,” he replies, knowing I have no comeback.
“Anyway, moving on.” I roll my eyes at him in a playful way before I continue.
“But there are so many obstacles between us. And it’s not like we are in our twenties anymore.
Time is ticking on these ovaries, and I can’t afford to put the energy into a relationship that has an expiration date or is heading nowhere.
” I can see him taking all my words in and imagine him trying to sort through his thoughts.
“I can’t do city life again. My home and my heart are here, in Abbey Falls.
And if I’ve learned one thing from my last relationship, I know that I can’t ask you to change your life for me.
It doesn’t work. Jeremy obviously didn’t want to be a small-town vet; he just didn’t have the balls to say it. ”