43. Grace
43
Grace
I pulled the trigger until the gun emptied and the slide locked into place. Elias pulled it from my hand and reloaded, my teeth clenching, adrenaline shooting through my veins, numbing corrupted pieces of myself.
Bone shards and blood turned André's face into minced meat, his skull shattered and unrecognizable, his chest oozing murky liquid.
Javier appeared around the corner, his feet digging into the dirt as he ran, his hand gripping his pistol at the ready.
Elias pointed his weapon, then lowered it.
"It's just me." He bent over, placing his hand on his knee as he caught his breath. " Pinche tu madre . I thought the fight had started again."
I turned my naked body from him, a heavy pit sitting in my stomach. "I'm going to…" I gagged, forcing the acid down my throat. Jerking away from Elias's grasp, I lurched again, relinquishing the water Miguel fed me.
"Javier, find something to cover her. She's in shock."
Elias stood between Javier and me, shielding me from anyone who dared to look.
"Rodrigo, Ramirez. Bring me that blanket, yeah?" Javier snapped his fingers at the men around the corner.
My muscles quaked, my knees buckling as I let loose a mournful cry I'd held in since the inception of my misery, my voice squeaking in between heaves.
It's over.
I survived when I should have died, and no matter what relief that brought me, it didn't erase the scars on my soul, the damage that couldn't be repaired, and the perversity tainting my existence.
"Dr. Navarro is on standby. He'll take a look at you on the plane before we get home."
"No." My breathing hitched, my dirt-caked fingers curled around his forearm. "Not him."
"You need to be looked at." Elias took the blanket from Javier as he rushed up, then wrapped it around my shoulder, the rough material scraping the sensitive bruises. "I won't leave your side."
I swallowed the leftover bile tainting my tongue. "You won't?" My swollen eye twinged as I gazed at him. "You promise?"
He drew me into his arms. "I promise."
The cry bubbled up, and I turned into him, my hands covering my face as I wept.
"Can I carry you?" His hands hesitated in their touch around my body.
I nodded and sniffled.
Elias cradled me in his arms, my feet leaving the dirt floor as he held me to his chest and limped through the archway, Javier rushing ahead of us. "Let's get you home."
"But I'm so broken." I sobbed, running my arms around his neck and holding on tight.
"I'll fix you," he whispered.
"What if you can't?"
He tucked me into the large SUV. "I'll never stop trying."
The hours dragged on, Elias never leaving my side, as he promised, while Dr. Navarro treated the vast array of wounds plaguing me.
I soaked in the fresh air, mingling with the aroma of polished leather from the oversized seats, which swallowed my curled body. The steady whirring of the massive jet engines provided a stark contrast to the deafening silence within my cell.
The clouds didn't look the same as before when we'd flown to Tulum, his mother beside me, a smile on my face.
Now, the atmosphere was somber. The laughter had faded, replaced by a heavy silence that weighed upon us.
"Did y-you catch Miguel?"
Javier sat next to Elias and nodded. "My bullet did. Right between the eyes."
I winced and closed my eyes, sucking in a deep breath through my nose, my knees drawn beneath me, the blanket drawn tight.
"He tried to help." I raised my good brow. "At least that's what he said."
"I have something for you." Elias leaned over and pulled out my hand, laying something light and cool in my palm. "I thought you'd want to have this."
The rosary settled in my hand, the cross dangling from my grasp. "I thought I'd lost it."
He shook his head. "It was in your pant's pocket."
Fresh tears trailed down the corner of my eye, seeping into my blanket. "Thank you."
"Get some rest. We'll be landing soon."
The world beyond the window wore a vacant hue as if drained of its usual vibrancy, and the steady thrum of the engines drowned out the intrusive thoughts that clamored for attention.
We touched down, and the doors opened, allowing everyone to venture into the bright morning light peeking above the horizon.
Elias swept me into his arms and carried me off the plane, then held me in his lap on the drive home as though I'd broken my legs along with my will.
"Is she alive?" Rosa whispered as he carried me into the house, her gentle hand pressing against my shoulder.
"She's alive."
"Take care of her, mi hijo . She needs you."
" Si , Mamá."
I kept my nose buried in his neck as he walked us down his hallway, the familiarity comforting, then kicked the door closed behind him, the noise causing me to jolt in his arms.
He guided us to the bathroom, his arms enveloping me in a protective cocoon as he knelt by the tub and turned on the faucet. "Elias."
His attention remained fixed on the water gathering in the tub, the rhythmic sound a stark contrast to the somber silence between us.
"Elias." My hand rose to his cheek, taking solace in his warmth. "I'm okay."
He set his jaw tight, his muscles bulging as he ground his molars together.
"Can you look at me?"
He inhaled through his nose and shifted his focus to mine. "I can't." He tensed, shook his head, and looked away, his eyes glistening.
"Do I look that bad?" I suppressed a laugh.
He cleared his throat, ran his thumb and forefinger against his eyes, then added bath salts. "No." He sniffed. "Every time…I see how I failed you."
My heart shattered as a tear slipped down my cheek. "You're wrong." I cupped his cheek and forced him to look at me as he'd done to me time and time before. "You've saved me." I gave him my best smile considering. "I don't fault you, Elias."
He gave his head a quick shake, a short sniff, and cleared his throat. "You should. "
"What difference would it make?" I pulled the blanket off of my shoulders and slipped from his lap. "It cannot be changed now, can it?" I dipped my toes in the warm water, and shivers crawled up my flesh.
"I wish I could kill him for you again." His throat bobbed as he swallowed.
The heated water cleansed my skin in a fiery baptism, the watery flames of purification licking at my wounds. I hunched my shoulders as he poured water over them, the murky water fizzing with air bubbles.
I drew my knees up to my chin, the dark outline of a handprint resting above them. I inhaled a deep breath through my nose and closed my eye. "And I'd let you."