Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
D ean rolled up one of the sleeping bags and exhaled. “Shouldn’t we be staying home and planning for the holidays or something?”
Ian rolled the other sleeping bag up and rose to his feet. “There’s plenty of time to celebrate. You and I haven’t spent a lot of time together lately, so I think it’s a good idea to get out of the house.”
And get away from the hecticness of his life.
In the past few days alone, things had taken a turn for the worst. Not only had Bryce chased down every lead to no avail, but Eric had doubled down on his promise and started finding ways to keep Ian from doing his job properly—everything from restraining orders to formal complaints.
Anything and everything to shut Ian up.
Thankfully, with an entire police department behind him and his family rallying behind his decision to pursue this, Ian felt a lot better about his odds. However, it didn’t change the fact the trail had gone cold again, and it would take a miracle to revive the case.
Maybe it’s for the best. You wanted a sign to let you know if you were doing the right thing. This is probably it.
Only he couldn’t help but feel he wasn’t done yet.
Ian wasn’t ready to walk away, not after everything they’d been through to get here. As his lawyer, Liam had dedicated himself to the case with a surprising amount of enthusiasm and drive, considering it was still his grandfather. It wasn’t lost on Ian that he’d unintentionally dragged Lily’s son into this mess, nor did it escape his notice that he was further straining the relationship between Lily and her father.
When this was all over, he doubted his sister would be able to have any kind of relationship with Eric, much less a civil one. The bonds between them were shattered beyond repair, and he found himself lamenting the role he’d played in all of it.
On the one hand, it wasn’t his fault Eric Taylor was an awful and egotistical man, hell-bent on pushing his own agenda on people. On the other hand, Ian couldn’t help but worry about what would happen when the dust settled.
Was Lily even going to look at him the same way again?
Even solving a slew of small cases at work hadn’t made Ian feel better.
If anything, it made him feel worse about everything.
His guilt, anger, and anxiety were only compounded by the fact that Lucy’s doctors were taking their time. With the holidays around the corner, it felt like all of the cards were stacked against him, and the universe was testing his patience.
Was he being punished for wanting to do it all?
Was God trying to teach him a lesson?
Dean exhaled and shoved something else into his backpack. “I still think it’s a bad idea to go camping in this weather and with everything else happening. Why can’t we just go out for some father-son bonding time?”
“Because it’s good to be out in the wilderness.” Ian finished putting things in his backpack and zipped it up. “Besides, it gives your mom and the girls a chance to spend some time together, you know, do their own thing.”
And with the entire Wilson clan on high alert, he knew Lucy and the girls were in good hands. Between Darren and Ben stopping by throughout the day at random intervals and the entire police station making it a point to check in, he knew no one else would go near his family.
But it didn’t make him feel better.
Even kissing Lucy goodbye and ushering Dean into the car didn’t bring him the excitement he thought it should.
On the drive over to the Crystal Mountain campground, it started snowing. Ian switched on the windshield wipers and leaned forward, struggling to see past the blizzard. Once they reached the parking lot, Ian caught the horrified look on Dean’s face and ignored it.
Together, they found a secluded part of the forest in the mouth of a cave to set up the tent.
It took them a few tries to get it right, and by the time they did, their backpacks were soaking. Together, they huddled in the tent, one large blanket draped over them and the containers of warm food stacked next to them. Ian studied the thick foliage on either side of them and the white flakes swirling before they landed on the ground.
Then he turned to Dean, who was shivering and rubbing his hands up and down his arms. “See? Some much-needed father and son bonding time. We can still salvage this.”
Dean snorted and pulled the flaps of his hat down low over his head. “You’re not trying to spend time with me, Dad. You’re trying to run away from your problems.”
“I am not.”
Dean turned to face his father and gave him a knowing look, wisps of light brown hair peeking out from underneath his hat. “I’m not mad, Dad. Don’t worry about it. I know what it’s like to want to get away from everything.”
“You want to tell me the real reason you moved back home? Other than wanting to save on dorm money and get a summer job. Your mom mentioned that you dropped this course…”
Dean cleared his throat and glanced away. “Yeah, there was this girl I liked, but it didn’t work out.”
“So, you dropped the course to get away from her?”
“We’re out camping in December because you can’t handle what’s been happening with Grandma’s case,” Dean pointed out, pausing to blow hot air into his hands. “No offense, Dad, but I don’t think you’re in a position to lecture me about how I handle my problems.”
Ian shoved his gloved hands into his pockets. “You do make a good point.”
Dean’s head swiveled in his direction; disbelief written all over his face. “That’s it? No lecture about how I should learn from your mistakes, do better, et cetera?”
Ian gave his son a small smile. “Well, you should anyway, but I’m not leading by example right now, am I?”
Dean frowned. “No, I guess not.”
“Life’s not always going to work out the way you want it to, and it’s important to be able to make your peace with that anyway.”
“How?”
Ian wrenched his gaze away and stared at the wet snow steadily falling a few feet away. “I don’t know, exactly. I guess you put one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time. And you do your best and pray that things get better.”
“That’s good advice, but I think we should do one more thing.”
Ian swung his gaze back to his son’s. “What’s that?”
“Don’t go camping in December,” Dean joked, shaking his head. “Can we please go back home? I’m pretty sure I heard something in that cave.”
Ian chuckled. “We’ll wait for the snow to ease up, and we can go.”
Dean threw his arms around his father and squeezed, and Ian suddenly saw an image of a much younger Dean, clinging to him like his life depended on it. “For the record, I think you’re handling things way better than a lot of people in your position would’ve. I don’t know how you’re doing it, but you must be doing something right.”
Ian clapped his son on the back. “I’m still not investing in your friend’s project.”
Dean laughed and pulled away. “It’s okay. We’ll figure something out.”
“Honey, we’re home,” Ian grunted as he and Dean dragged the Christmas tree in. As soon as it was in, Dean kicked the door shut with the back of his leg and set it down on the hardwood floor. “We’ve got a surprise for you.”
Kelli and Dana poked their heads out of the kitchen, their hair piled on top of their head and white masks plastered to their faces. Dean kicked off his shoes, took one look at them, and burst into laughter.
“I didn’t know the circus was in town.” Dean wiped tears off his face and clutched his sides. “It’s too bad my battery is dead, or I’d have plenty of pictures of this.”
Kelli stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re just jealous because we’re going to have better skin than you.”
Dana stood up straighter and folded her arms over her chest. “Don’t hate us because you’re not us.”
Dean rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. You two spend hundreds of dollars on products, and you’re wearing Disney footie pajamas. Why would I want to be you? I don’t even want to be associated with how embarrassing you are.”
Ian glanced over their shoulder and back at his daughters. “Where’s your mom?”
“She said she wanted to get something from upstairs, but it’s been a while,” Kelli told him with a frown. “We were making some snacks before we went up to check on her.”
“I’ll do it. Can you help your brother carry the tree into the living room?”
As one, Kelli and Dana nodded.
Loud bickering ensued as Ian turned his back on them and took the stairs, two at a time. In the doorway to the bedroom, he stopped and rapped. Lucy’s soft voice spilled out. He pushed the door open and found her perched on the edge of the bed in her pajamas and robe, her feet stuffed into a pair of slippers and a picture frame in her lap.
She turned tear-stained eyes to him, and Ian’s stomach dipped.
“What are you doing back home? Did you forget something?”
Ian crossed over to her and lowered himself onto the bed next to her. “Yeah, I don’t even know why we went. I know there’s nowhere else we’d both rather be.”
Lucy sighed and placed her head against his shoulder. “I’m getting my honey and cinnamon mask all over your clothes.”
“I don’t mind.”
“The girls wanted to do masks, paint their nails, and watch a movie, but I just felt very tired, and I couldn’t do it. I don’t know how much longer I can pretend, and I keep thinking it might be my last Christmas with them, and I don’t want them to remember me like this.”
Ian placed his thumb underneath her chin and leaned back to look at her. “Luce, this isn’t your last Christmas with us. We’re going to have many more, okay? And you are going to be an amazing grandmother.”
Lucy searched his face. “You don’t know that for sure.”
“I don’t, but I have faith.” Ian looked into her eyes and ignored the tightening in his chest. “You and I still have a lot more life left to live together, and you’re not going anywhere. I’m not going to let you.”
Lucy’s lips twitched. “I wasn’t aware you had a say in the matter.”
“You’re not allowed to go without me,” Ian whispered, pausing to run his thumb across her jaw. “And I’m not ready to go yet.”
Lucy swallowed, and her eyes turned misty. “Okay.”
“Dean and I picked out a Christmas tree, and I thought that decorating it would help cheer you up, so why don’t we sit here until you’re ready to go downstairs?”
“What about the kids?”
“As long as they don’t burn the house down, we’ll be fine.”
Lucy smiled. “Have I told you lately how amazing you are, Ian Railings?”
“It’s been a while, so go on. I’d love to hear more about how handsome and dashing I am.”
Lucy laughed and pinched his arm. “Modest too.”
Ian pressed a kiss to her forehead and lingered. “The best thing about me is my family, and I don’t ever want to forget that.”