CHAPTER 20
If Loving You Costs Me Everything
Brad — POV
Brad didn't leave after that conversation.
Not because he thought things were fixed.
But because leaving felt like running again.
And he was done running.
So he stood outside the flower shop for a while after Kathy stopped talking to him.
Just standing.
Not doing anything.
Not fixing anything.
Just... existing in the aftermath of his own choices.
Eventually, he sat on the small bench outside.
The same one they had shared before everything broke.
Now it felt different. Colder. Smaller.
He looked at the shop door.
Closed.
Quiet.
Kathy was inside.
Still there.
Still real.
But farther than she had ever been.
His phone buzzed.
Again.
And again.
He finally looked at it.
A message from his assistant.
"Sir, the board is requesting an emergency meeting regarding your absence and recent decisions. They're concerned about your direction."
Brad stared at the screen for a long moment.
Then locked it.
No reply.
No explanation.
He set the phone down beside him on the bench.
And for the first time, he didn't feel pulled toward it.
He felt pulled away from it.
Toward her.
Inside the shop, Kathy worked slowly.
Not because she was busy.
But because she needed movement.
Stillness made her think too much.
And thinking led back to him.
Every time.
She hated that.
But it was there anyway.
The way he stood earlier.
No arrogance.
No control.
Just... honesty.
It didn't erase what he did.
But it made things complicated in a different way.
Kathy exhaled and adjusted a vase.
"This is ridiculous," she muttered to herself.
Because part of her still wanted him there.
Still.
Even after everything.
That was the part she didn't trust.
Not him.
Her own feelings.
Outside, Brad finally stood up again.
Decision forming.
Not sudden.
Not emotional.
Something quieter.
More permanent.
He walked away from the bench.
Not leaving her.
But choosing something.
The next morning, the headlines started quietly.
Not explosive.
Not dramatic.
Just... unexpected.
A press release from Hawkins Systems.
"CEO Brad Hawkins announces temporary withdrawal from executive decision-making roles to reassess company direction and personal priorities."
Then another line buried deeper:
"Leadership responsibilities will be delegated during this period."
By afternoon, it spread.
Investors reacted.
Board members called emergency meetings.
Analysts speculated.
The world started asking questions.
But Brad didn't answer any of them.
He sat on the deck of his Gorge house instead. The Columbia River glittered below. Mount Hood stood white against the blue sky. Hood River went about its day, unaware that a billionaire was quietly stepping off the throne.
His assistant called.
He didn't pick up.
She called again.
He let it ring.
Finally, she sent a message.
"Sir... this will affect everything."
Brad read it. Then looked out at the water.
Everything.
That word used to matter.
Now it felt distant.
Because there was something else in his life that mattered in a way everything else never had.
Kathy.
He leaned forward slightly, elbows on his knees. The position felt unfamiliar — he never sat like this. He was always upright, always ready.
"If I lose everything..." he said quietly to himself.
A pause.
Then finished the thought honestly.
"...I still don't want to lose her."
That was the truth.
No strategy behind it.
No calculation.
Just fear.
And clarity.
That afternoon, he went back again.
No announcement.
No warning.
Just him.
The flower shop bell rang.
Kathy looked up immediately.
Her expression tightened slightly when she saw him again.
Not angry.
Not soft.
Careful.
Brad stepped inside slowly.
He didn't speak at first.
Just looked at her.
And for once, there was nothing behind his presence except what he had already admitted.
"I'm not going back to who I was," he said quietly.
Kathy didn't respond right away.
So he continued.
"I stepped away from everything that was controlling my life," he said. "Because I realized I was using control everywhere... except where it mattered."
A pause.
"With you."
Kathy's eyes narrowed slightly. "You think leaving your company fixes that?"
Brad shook his head immediately.
"No."
Silence.
He took a breath.
"I think it removes the part of me that kept choosing control over honesty," he said.
Kathy studied him carefully.
"You're giving up a lot," she said.
"Yes."
"Because of me?"
Brad didn't hesitate.
"Because of what I did to you," he corrected softly.
Another pause.
Then he added:
"And because I don't want to keep living like that."
Kathy looked down for a moment.
Then back at him.
"You're serious," she said.
"I've never been more serious," he replied.
That quiet honesty filled the space between them again.
No pressure.
No expectation.
Just truth sitting in the open.
Kathy exhaled slowly.
"This doesn't fix anything," she said.
"I know," Brad said immediately.
"But it changes something," she added.
Brad nodded once.
"Yes."
Silence again.
Then Kathy said something quieter.
"If I let you stay in my life... there are boundaries."
Brad didn't hesitate.
"Anything."
That made her pause.
"Don't say 'anything' like it's easy," she said.
"It's not," he admitted. "But I'll follow it."
Kathy studied him for a long moment.
Then said softly:
"You don't get to control anything anymore."
Brad nodded.
"I understand."
A beat.
Then he added:
"I don't want to."
And for the first time —
he meant it in a way that wasn't about winning her back.
It was about not losing her again.