Jake
Music plays softly from the speakers in the lobby, highlighting the calmness of the atmosphere. When Brayden asked if we could go somewhere else to talk, I wasn’t expecting to follow them out to Entourage, but honestly, it makes perfect sense.
It's a Friday afternoon, the day after Thanksgiving, which means there’s not a lot of people here.
Even before we walked inside, I noticed how empty the parking lot was.
We step foot inside, making our way past the front bar and up towards the VIP section.
The bouncer, who I recognize from the countless times we’ve been here, waves us in, and we find our spot at our usual booth in the middle.
I sit on one side while the twins choose to sit opposite of me.
There’s a tense silence that floats across the three of us, but even with the way Brayden’s been acting, I’m not nervous for this conversation. As long as it goes how I’m thinking it will, I’m ready to come clean and tell them everything I can.
I know that Kailyn should be the one to tell her family everything, but if they ask me about the kiss last night, I’m going to be honest and tell them I have feelings for their sister.
My biggest regret back then was not fighting harder for her, to show her we could tell people and still be together.
While I can’t change the past, can’t go back and redo things, I can do better this time.
It’s time to stop living in the past, stop living by the what if’s that have plagued me the last ten years, and start living the life I truly want, one that my dad would be proud of.
More certainly, one I can be proud of.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you boys here when the whole team isn’t celebrating after a game.” Violet walks over to us, a small serving tray in hand with a smile on her face that doesn’t really reach her eyes.
“We just got out of practice, and we figured we’d come chill here while we talked about some stuff,” I tell her sweetly.
She nods her head, before shifting the tray in her hands.
“Well, I won’t take up much of your time. The usual for you, boys?”
“Can I just have a soda water with lime?" I ask.
“I’ll actually just have water, please,” Brandon says sweetly.
“Make it three, please,” Brayden adds.
“You got it, boys. I’ll be right back.” She takes one final glance at all of us, her gaze lingering on Brayden, who meets her stare, before she shakes her head and walks back over to the bar.
We each sink back into the booth, getting comfortable as I wait for them to start the conversation.
“So,” Brayden starts, nerves lining his tone. “B and I wanted to talk with you about some stuff that happened after you left last night.”
After I left? So, this has nothing to do with me kissing Kailyn.
Immediately, I’m sitting up, my body going rigid as my nerves skyrocket. “What happened? Is everyone okay?” I haven’t talked to Kailyn since our text exchange on my drive home, and I haven’t seen her today since it was her day off.
Brandon lightly smacks Bray’s arm, gesturing towards me. "Look at what you’ve done.”
Bray winces at the contact, his cheeks lighting up a hot pink color.
“Shit, no, nothing bad happened. Everyone’s okay.”
I visibly relax, sinking back into the cushion of the booth as I exhale a breath of relief. There’s still a lingering set of nerves, because now I’m even more confused than when I sat down.
“Bray, I love you, man, but you need to work on your timing.” I tease.
“I’ve never had any of the ladies tell me otherwise.” He winks, trying to be cute.
A throat clearing has us turning towards Violet, who’s back with our drinks. She walks over to the opening of the booth as she places each of our drinks on the table. “Anything else I can grab you all for now?”
“No, thanks. We appreciate it, Vi,” Brandon says.
She smiles over at him and nods before turning away, a quick pace to her step. Not once during that interaction did she dare look over at Brayden.
“Just spill it, Bray. Tell me what’s going on, because I’m kinda lost over here.”
Brandon is the one to speak. “Last night after you left, Kailyn sat us all down and told us everything about you two.”
Butterflies take over my entire stomach, a lightness creeping in.
She told them everything? What does that mean?
I take a sip of my drink, wanting a moment to clear my throat so my voice doesn’t crack.
“How much of everything?” I need to know exactly what she told them before I say something stupid or spill something that they don’t know about.
“She told us everything. From your relationship in high school, to why she left and how it was a misunderstanding, to you both reconnecting,” Brandon says, taking a sip of his water.
“She poured her heart out to us last night, telling us everything we missed back then and what she went through with the bullying and her insecurities. We had a full family heart to heart about you two.”
The butterflies only intensify the more I hear from them. She actually told them everything? She spilled her heart out and gave them her truest pieces?
Was it for me?
Was it for her?
Was it for us?
Regardless of why she did it, I’m proud of her for the growth she’s done in the time we’ve been separated.
No matter how many times I wish that things had gone differently, I’m almost grateful for those ten years because we each found ourselves and learned to grow apart.
Sitting here now, I know that this is what my dad meant when he said we were right for each other, it was just the wrong time for us.
“I’m glad she was able to tell you when she was ready,” I tell them honestly.
“We’re sorry that you felt like you couldn’t tell us, Jake,” Brayden says, moisture building behind his eyes.
He looks down at the table of drinks, the condensation trickling down the sides of each glass.
“I know there were those nasty rumors going around about you, but you know we never believed any of them, right?”
“I know you didn’t.” I knew that I was going to be vulnerable with them, but I wasn’t prepared for how emotional it would make me.
“From the second I met you sister, I knew she was it for me. Her smile was my favorite thing to see, especially after a shitty practice. Her laugh was my favorite sound to hear, because I knew she didn’t do it often, and when she did I knew she was truly happy.
I wanted to tell you both, but I was afraid. ”
“Afraid of what?” Brandon asks, a softness to his voice.
“Kailyn asked me to keep us a secret, because of everything she was going through. I wanted to respect her wish, even if I was ready to tell everyone how wrong they were about her. I would’ve walked up and down every hall of that school and shouted about how I had the best girl there, and that I was the lucky one to have her love.
But she was so insistent on keeping us a secret even from you both, and I couldn’t go behind her back. ”
While all of that is true, there’s one more reason I never told them about Kailyn and I. She was brave enough to tell her entire family everything about her life, her insecurities, and her fears.
If she can do it, I can, too.
“I was mostly afraid of losing everything.”
Both of their heads tilt to the side, and if I wasn't feeling so raw, I might’ve laughed at how alike they both are. I grab my drink, taking another sip as I give myself something to focus on for a moment.
“You two were my first friends, my best friends. I didn’t have a lot of that growing up, and when you both invited my dad and I into your house, I felt like we were part of your family.
If I told you I was in love with your sister, I trusted that you both would’ve been okay with it, or at least I hoped I was deemed good enough for her.
” I pause, knowing that I’m putting everything on the table. .
“But I knew what she was dealing with and how she was treated. It affected her in so many ways, and I was afraid that if things ended between us, if she was unintentionally hurt, or if something bad happened, I’d lose not only the one girl that had my heart, but I’d lose the only family I had.
So yeah, part of me wanted to tell you both, because she deserved a love that was shouted from the rooftops, but selfishly, I wanted to keep the only family I had.
” My head hangs low as I feel the tears finally spill down my cheeks.
A weight feels like it's being slowly lifted off of my chest, the pressure lessening as I unburden myself with these secrets and finally start to truly heal from the past. I’ve carried this weight without complaint to anyone else, but finally letting go of everything and telling them the truth feels like I’m giving myself full permission to finally move forward and stop letting my regrets eat me alive.
I look up, matching tear stains on each of their faces.
Brayden is the first to speak. “Shit, man. It’s bad enough that we missed all the signs of Kailyn going through all of that bullying, but that we missed how isolated and scary this was for you as well.
I’m not trying to make this about us, because while B and I played a role in it, it’s not about us.
I just hope you know how sorry we are for not making it clear back then that you never would’ve lost us. ”
“I don’t blame either of you. It was an unnecessary burden I placed on myself, because I didn’t know any better.
After Kailyn left, and I went down my spiral, you both were there to pick me up, and I’m grateful that you helped me get into therapy and find myself again.
As much as I hated everything that happened, I think it had to happen this way, so that we could both find ourselves and in turn be better for when the time was right for us. ”
They both nod their heads, small smiles appearing on their lips.
“Bray is right that we would’ve always been there for you, but sometimes, insecurities and intrusive thoughts can make you feel like you're on your own. I hate that we missed everything and that you both were hurting, but I’m so proud of you Jake.
You are practically a brother to us, and that will never change.
If there was anyone that was good enough for Kailyn back then, it was you.
” Brandon smiles softly at me, pulling his glasses off to wipe under his eyes.
His words hit true to home, like he understands in a way that no one else does, unless you’ve experienced it yourself.
“At the end of the day, we love and care about our sisters, and will always do our best to protect them. But we also know that they’re capable of making their own choices and we just want to be there to support them, not undermine them.”
I reach up to wipe my eyes again, looking over at Brayden who’s doing the same. It warms my heart to know that they didn’t immediately shoot down my insecurities and fears from back then. Even though it happened a long time ago, it still hit a raw nerve bringing it up now.
It reaffirms why these two are my family, why they mean so much to me. They’ve always been there for me through everything and I’m glad that the full truth is out. I no longer have to keep this secret or hold this weight, and can finally put the past behind me and move forward.
“I love you, guys. Thank you for always being there for me, even after you found out everything.”
Brandon stands up and walks around the table, causing Bray and I to join him.
He holds out his hand, and I take it, pulling him into a full body hug.
He pats me on the back, hugging me tightly for a few moments before releasing me.
Brayden then swoops in and hugs me, practically lifting me off the floor.
“We love you, too, Jake,” Brandon says from behind us, letting me go and taking a step back.
“So, going forward, I’m gonna be honest with you both. I’m going to ask your sister out for a second real date.”
They both exchange a look, eyebrows raised and a smirk on Brayden’s face before turning back to me. “We’ll allow it. Just, no PDA in front of us, please. I don’t need to see all of that.”
“Really, Bray? You practically maul girls in front of us all the time.” Brandon throws back, and I can’t help the full belly laugh that escapes me.
“You wanna see our sister making out right in front of us?”
“No, but it’s just ironic that it’s coming from you.”
I raise both my hands, still laughing at their antics, “I promise, we’ll keep the PDA to a minimum in front of you both.”
“Just take good care of her like I know you will,” Brandon says.
“I promise I will.”
“Good. Now, I’m gonna go to the restroom before we leave. If that's alright.” Brandon’s hand lands on my shoulder, squeezing it once more and then walking down the hall for the restrooms.
I turn back around, watching as Brayden has stopped laughing, body going a bit rigid. “Hey, everything okay? I know we were joking about the PDA but—”
“Did you notice anything off about Violet earlier?” Brayden cuts me off.
I look over to see Violet at the bar top, waiting on some drinks. She’s playing with her nails, almost like she’s picking at them.
“I mean, a bit. She seemed less like her bubbly self, but I don’t really know her that well. Why?”
Brayden continues to stare at her, shaking his head after a few moments and turning back to me. “It’s nothing. Just wanted to make sure she was doing okay is all.”
“Okay.” I let it go, not fully understanding what just happened.
Brandon walks back from the bathroom, and joins us. I grab some cash from my wallet, leaving a fifty on the table to cover our drinks and a tip for Violet, before we start back downstairs.
While today has been all over the place, and definitely didn’t go in the direction I thought it would, I can’t be mad about how it ended. If anything, this just proves that Kailyn is fighting for me just as hard as I’m fighting for her.
And now that I know her family is one hundred percent behind us and that we’re both committed to working on growing, I’m ready to see what’s next in store for us, because one way or another, we were always meant to be.