Chapter 16 Devon
DEVON
She fell asleep somewhere between the famous stray cat on the HOA page and me running out of reasons to keep talking.
Her thumb had been tracing patterns against my chest, and then it slowed, coming to rest over my heart as she melted into me, every thread of tension leaving her body in one long exhale.
I should have gotten up and gone to my room.
Hell, I never should have lain down with her to begin with.
And yet, as her breathing evened out and her weight settled heavy against my side, I didn’t move.
I stared up at the ceiling, the soft glow of her lamp throwing shadows across the room.
What a fucking night.
On the drive home, Chris had alerted Leo to our run-in with the paparazzi. He had all the questions, and I’d done my best to answer them without tipping off Lofton to Sebastian’s appearance.
As Lofton leaned against the counter, watching my every move like she needed me close in order to breathe, my conversation with Leo had turned into a game of charades, feeding him details in military alphabet, while flashing her a carefree grin each time her eyes flicked my way.
I’d known something was wrong the minute she’d excused herself to go to bed. Her smile was all fucking wrong as she’d told me she was good. Her squeeze on my forearm felt stiff and forced, like something you would offer a stranger rather than—well, whatever the hell we were.
Nothing. I told myself. We were absolutely nothing.
Leo had been right. I had blurred the lines with Lofton. And the worst part was, I wasn’t trying to redraw them.
Over the past few weeks, moment by moment, smile by smile, feelings had accumulated into something I hadn’t adequately prepared for. It was like the way water leaked into old foundations—slow and silent until one day it washed away the whole damn building.
And because I was a fucking dumbass, I lay in that bed with her, holding on like I wasn’t about to be swept away with it.
Lofton’s friends had tried to warn me.
Honest to God, I’d believed them. It made too much sense.
But getting the confirmation straight from Lofton’s perfect lips hadn’t left much room for denial.
I didn’t want a trauma bond with Lofton. Not even the kind where I was only her bodyguard, and she was too scared to go out of the house without me. But I especially didn’t want the kind where something happened between us only because I was her steady, and I’d been too selfish to shut it down.
It was best to leave it alone. Put the boundaries back in place. Keep my hands and my colors to myself and let things cool off for a while.
One day the storm would pass. She’d find her footing again, realize I was never who she actually wanted, and move on. And this time, unlike the last, I’d be able to do the same—with a clear conscience and my career still intact.
My phone vibrated against my thigh, and I carefully dug it out of my pocket so as not to wake her.
Leo.
I ended the call and waited, not quite ready to leave her. Her dark hair fanned across my chest. Her hand curled loosely over my heart. The warmth of her soaked through my shirt and I let myself drink it all in for exactly three more seconds.
Three.
Two.
I fucking hated this.
One.
I carefully lifted her hand, holding it long enough for a chill to form in its absence, and then eased it down at her side.
She stirred, a soft moan escaping her lips, and I went completely still, holding my breath until she settled again.
Taking my weight off that mattress like I was defusing a bomb, I inched out from under her.
The bed let out one last traitorous creak as I rose to my feet, but thankfully Lofton didn’t budge.
And neither did I.
Damn, she was beautiful.
Not in the way she was on a movie screen or any of the glamorized versions of herself she offered the world.
She was just Lofton. My favorite freckles she tried to hide were out in full force, scattered across her nose and cheeks.
The small scar on her forehead had nearly healed, existing only as a thin pink line.
Soon enough it would fade from her life altogether—just like me.
And she would be better for it, on both accounts.
Forcing my feet to get moving, I walked through the bathroom and pulled the door shut behind me. Jenn’s room was dark, but I didn’t bother with a light before I dropped onto the edge of the bed, braced my elbows on my knees, and called Leo back.
He answered on the first ring. “Took you long enough.”
“I was busy.”
“Mmhm.” The sound he made contained an entire lecture I was grateful he chose not to deliver. “You good?”
“Fine. What’s up?”
He let out a low, exasperated sigh. “He was out of view of our cameras, but Apollo managed to tap into the security system of the hardware shop down the street. They’re low-res and grainy as hell, can’t make out much. But we could see him pacing for close to an hour before she exited.”
“Did you think I was lying?”
“Nobody said that. The man was there.” He paused. “It just wasn’t Sebastian.”
My spine snapped straight. “Leo—”
“I’ve got him on camera at a movie premiere in Los Angeles. Time-stamped. Multiple angles. Including live streams on social media. I know some men who are working security. They confirmed he’s there with their own damn eyes.”
I gritted my teeth, bile burning up the back of my throat. “I saw him with my own damn eyes too. It. Was. Him.”
“All the money in the world can’t buy you being in two places at the same time.”
I stood up and walked to the window, scrubbing a hand over my face. The farm was dark and still, the sky blanketed in stars. “Then who the hell was in that alley?”
“Now, that’s the right question. I just don’t have an answer for you yet. We have a shitty video of an unidentified man who didn’t approach, didn’t threaten, and technically didn’t do a damn thing wrong. Not even Dollton PD would touch something like that.”
“I know what I saw, Leo.”
“I’m not sure you do. I believe you saw a man, but I’m less certain about the face you put on him.”
The muscle in my jaw tightened. “Don’t you dare.”
“I’m not questioning your instincts. It’s your objectivity I’m worried about.
” He let that sit for a second, and not because he was being a dick.
He used that fatherly tone, like he was giving me time to connect the dots before he laid it out for me.
“You’ve been running hot on this man since he showed up at that gate.
Which I get. I do. I watched the surveillance video and heard the shit he pulled on her when they were married.
I was impressed that you let him leave with his head on his shoulders.
But tonight, it was dark. The figure was hooded and you passed him fast. I’m not saying you didn’t see what you think you saw.
I’m saying your brain may have filled in the one face it was already looking for. ”
“Bullshit,” I rumbled, even as I questioned myself.
Shit. Could I have done that? My gut had never steered me wrong, but now, with Lofton in my head, even my subconscious was treading in muddy waters.
I raked a hand through the top of my hair. “The timing of the paparazzi still reeks.”
“Agreed. The tip-off angle is real, and we’re pulling on that thread.
But Sebastian, as the source isn’t the only explanation.
Could have been one of her friends. Maybe the blonde ran her mouth about their dinner and someone overheard.
Honestly, this guy in the alley could have just been a fan hoping for an autograph.
The photographer isn’t local, but after Lofton’s location was compromised, I’m sure there’s going to be more than a few paparazzi roaming around Dollton from now on.
” He drew in a deep breath. “All I’m saying is that there are a dozen explanations that have fuck-all to do with her ex. ”
“Shit,” I breathed.
“Listen, Apollo’s on it. He’s not even bitching about it either. If anyone can track down who was standing in that alley, it’s gonna be him. We just gotta stay the course, keep a close eye on Lofton, and give it some time.”
I swallowed hard. Keeping a close eye on her would not be a problem. Though if I didn’t get my shit together, my hands might be an issue.
“Yeah. Sure.”
“How’s she doing?”
“Asleep.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
I exhaled. “She’s holding it together. Barely.” I thought about the way she’d enthusiastically agreed with me being her steady during the worst chapter of her life, like it was the simplest truth she’d ever spoken. “Tonight was a lot for her.”
“For both of you, sounds like.” His voice shifted into something gentle and packed with understanding. “You want me to bring someone else in? Give you a rotation? Lark’s between assignments. Brayden could be there by morning.”
“No,” the word flew from my mouth on instinct alone. “I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
“Grant, this was temporary from the start.”
“Sure,” I replied, even as bile clawed up the back of my throat.
“But we are not in a position to make a change. I trust Lark. I trust Brayden. I’d go to war with either of them.
” I stopped and shook my head. “But this case has layers that would take weeks to brief. The father. The property. The history with the ex. Whoever was actually in that alley. I know this assignment. Rotating someone in now just creates gaps.”
“And that’s the only reason? All professional, nothing personal?”
As if I could still see her, my gaze traveled to the strip of light at the bottom of the bathroom door from her lamp I’d left on.
She wasn’t the only one who found peace in our connection.
There was a quiet that had settled over me with her tucked into my side.
The tension I’d been carrying for years, melting right along with her.
The noise in my head genuinely disappeared when her laughter filled my ears.
Maybe that was the head-fuckery her friend had been talking about.
Leaving would have been easier. At least for me. I could have been out by morning, removing myself from the equation before whatever was left of my resolve dissolved completely.
But that wasn’t what was best for her. She was still in danger, and trauma bond or not, I knew with unwavering confidence that she was safe with me.
And yeah, I could say with absolute certainty that it was all professional, because on a personal level, I was the one in danger.
“Yeah,” I stated, the God’s honest truth. “Strictly professional.”
“Good. Make sure it stays that way. Get some rest. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
The line went dead.
I shoved my phone in my back pocket and headed across the bathroom to cut her light.
Lofton was still on her side, one hand tucked under her cheek where my shoulder had once been. It wouldn’t have taken much for me to slide back underneath her. Steal a few more minutes before I started the massive undertaking of rebuilding my walls.
However, that woman, even in sleep, was a force of nature. One night at her side, and I wasn’t sure I’d have anything left to build.
In an effort to end this mess once and for all, I reached out, caught the small chain on the lamp, and plunged the room into darkness.
The sound of her soft breathing dragged our conversation to the forefront of my mind.
“It steals your breath to leave, but staying suffocates you too.”
“I hope you know every time I saw you tonight, air filled my lungs again.”
I couldn’t be that air anymore, but I wouldn’t let her suffocate either.
She mentioned that her normal used to be the farm.
Back when it had been full of life and the chaos of a family that opened its doors to anyone who could find a chair.
Everything had changed since then, though.
She’d spent almost two decades becoming Lofton Beck, global superstar.
One night at the Doodle Bug Café would not resurrect the girl she’d once been or the normalcy that accompanied her.
But there were other versions of normal.
One that would hopefully remind her I wasn’t the only form of steady in her life.
I snagged her phone off the nightstand and turned off her morning alarm. Then I dug my phone from my back pocket and started typing, hoping like hell this didn’t come back to bite me directly in the ass.
But she’d said she wanted normal.
And this was the closest thing to it I could actually give her.
I hit send before I could change my mind.
The response came almost immediately.