Chapter Four #3
When I finally heard the front door slam downstairs, I dragged myself upright off the floor. My face was wet with tears, and my eyes hurt from crying so hard, but eventually anger started cutting through the pain.
Hot.
Sharp.
Blinding.
Because part of me felt led on.
How could she spend months kissing me like that, touching me like she loved me, sleeping with me, letting me believe we were building toward something real… only to tell me the next morning she didn’t want a relationship?
I pulled myself together, got dressed, and headed to school. I was already late, but I had an exam, and no matter how wrecked I felt, I refused to let heartbreak destroy my future too.
Indi had already shattered my heart.
She wasn’t taking my education with it.
The entire walk to school, I stayed furious.
At her.
At myself.
At the stupid hope I’d allowed myself to feel.
Fine.
If she wanted friendship, then that’s all she was getting from me.
Nothing more.
I realize now how immature I was being, but at eighteen years old, running on heartbreak and adrenaline, anger felt easier than grief.
Anger kept me standing.
As long as I didn’t see her today, I’d survive.
Probably.
I made it through the exam somehow and absolutely smashed it, mostly because focusing on history was easier than thinking about Indi curled in my bed whispering my name the night before. But the second I walked out of the classroom, reality crashed back in.
Along with two girls attaching themselves to either side of me.
“Hey, Caleb,” the blonde on my left chirped while wrapping herself around my arm. “Is it true Colter Slade is your uncle?”
Normally, I despised talking about my family at school.
The attention was exhausting.
Dad and Colt especially hated strangers knowing too much about us.
But right then? I didn’t care.
“Yeah,” I replied casually. “And Hux is my dad.”
Both girls gasped dramatically. “Oh my God,” the brunette on my right squealed. “So you’re basically famous already.”
I flashed them my best arrogant grin, even though internally I felt dead inside. “Not yet,” I said. “But I will be one day. My band’s gonna be huge.”
The girls giggled instantly. Painfully fake giggles too.
Usually that sort of thing would annoy the hell out of me, but right then I welcomed the distraction. Anything was better than thinking about Indi.
“Wow, Caleb,” the blonde said breathlessly. “I didn’t know you were this interesting.”
Interesting.
Right.
I almost laughed.
Apparently, being related to famous people made me irresistible.
The brunette eventually peeled away after giving Blonde Girl a look that basically screamed he’s yours, leaving me alone with the blonde, whose name I vaguely remembered as Maddie.
“So, Mads,” I said casually as we reached the side of the building. “What’re you doing now?”
She smirked and pushed me lightly against the brick wall.
Honestly, the confidence almost impressed me.
“I think you know exactly what I wanna do,” she said flirtatiously.
I should have walked away right then.
But I was hurting, and pathetic enough to think maybe making Indi jealous would somehow fix this.
So instead, I smirked back. “Do I?”
Maddie stepped closer until her body pressed against mine.
Then she kissed me.
And I stupidly kissed her back.
It felt wrong instantly.
Not because Maddie was a bad kisser.
Because she wasn’t Indi.
The whole time I kissed her, all I could think about was blonde hair spilling across my pillow and blue eyes looking at me like I mattered.
I wrapped my arms around Maddie automatically, but in my head, it wasn’t her I was touching.
It was Indi.
Always Indi.
Maddie smiled against my mouth and kissed me harder, clearly encouraged by my response, but the longer it went on, the worse I felt.
Because no matter how angry I was, this wasn’t me.
I wasn’t this guy.
I didn’t want random girls.
I wanted Indi.
Only Indi.
Maddie’s hand slid lower, her fingers reaching for my belt, trying to undo it, and reality slammed back into me hard enough to make me jerk away instantly.
What the fuck was I doing?
I took a sharp step backward, breathing hard while guilt flooded my chest, and Maddie blinked up at me in confusion. “Caleb?”
I dragged both hands through my hair. “Sorry,” I muttered quickly. “I can’t do this.”
Her face fell. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” I exhaled shakily. “I’m sorry.”
She crossed her arms, glaring at me. “You seemed pretty into it two seconds ago.”
I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. “Yeah, well…” I shook my head. “I’m an idiot.”
“That much is obvious,” she snapped.
Fair.
I deserved that.
I apologized again before walking away, ignoring her annoyed muttering behind me as I headed out toward the street.
I could have caught the bus home.
Instead, I walked.
I needed the air.
I needed time to think.
Because trying to punish Indi by kissing another girl had made one thing painfully clear.
There wasn’t anybody else for me.
There never would be.
And if I wanted Indi back, then acting like some jealous, heartbroken dickhead wasn’t going to get me there.
I needed to fight for Indi instead.
Properly.
Because losing her after finally having her in my arms?
That wasn’t something I was willing to accept.