Chapter Nineteen
Caleb
We finish dinner wrapped in an awkward, lust-filled tension that makes it hard for me even to swallow my food properly. Every second sitting this close to Indi feels dangerous. All I want is her, and keeping my composure is taking every ounce of restraint I have.
I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to survive this whole ‘friends’ arrangement without completely losing my mind.
She places her empty bowl onto the coffee table before stretching her legs across mine and smirking at me knowingly.
I chuckle softly and start massaging her feet. “Subtle there, Indi.”
She laughs. “I know, but it worked, didn’t it?”
Rolling my eyes, I grab the cushion from behind me and throw it at her. Giggling, she catches it and tucks it beneath her head before snuggling deeper into the couch like she fully intends to stay there all night.
“I’m a sucker, and I’m not ashamed of it,” I mutter.
She looks at me then, really looks at me, and her smile hits me so hard I nearly forget how to breathe.
“Don’t stop,” she says softly.
Dragged back to reality, I glance down and continue massaging her feet while she melts further into the couch with a quiet moan.
Jesus Christ.
She moans again, and I stop massaging her, staring at her in disbelief. “Indi, you cannot make noises like that.”
Her eyes widen with embarrassment. “Sorry. It’s just… I haven’t had anyone massage my feet since…” she trails off awkwardly. “Well, since you.”
“That’s good, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” I laugh quietly. “But seriously, stop moaning like that because it’s making me think very inappropriate things. And considering this whole ‘friendship’ arrangement we’ve got going on, you’re making this really fucking difficult for me.”
“Sorry, I didn’t think.” She immediately pulls her feet away and sits upright.
“I don’t have to stop—”
“No, it’s okay.” She cuts me off before smiling softly. “How about a cuddle instead?”
Honestly? That might be even worse.
But the way she’s looking at me right now, like she needs me to hold her, makes it impossible to say no.
There’s loneliness in her eyes.
The kind that hits me right in the chest.
I lift my arm, and she instantly smiles before curling into my side. Wrapping my arm tightly around her shoulders, I hold her against me while she settles comfortably against my chest.
This is going to be a very long fucking night.
“Thank you,” she murmurs.
I kiss the top of her damp hair. “You know I’d do anything for you, Indi.”
“I know.” Her voice softens. “Thank you for being here. It’s nice not feeling alone.”
I fucking knew it.
“What about your friends?” I ask carefully. “Don’t they come over?”
She shakes her head while staring at the television.
“Not really. Most of my friends are from work, and I don’t want them here.
” She shrugs slightly. “I know this place is a dump, but it’s still my home.
And honestly… they’d judge me.” My jaw tightens immediately.
“I know you won’t, though,” she adds quietly.
“That’s why I’m okay with you being here.
Plus…” She smiles up at me. “I forgot how nice it is to cuddle with you.”
My chest aches. “Yeah,” I say honestly. “It’s pretty fucking amazing having you back.”
Her smile grows softer. “It’s pretty amazing being back too.” She studies me carefully. “I’m starting to forget why I left in the first place.”
The words hit me like lightning.
Before I can even process them properly, she leans up and kisses me slowly.
A sharp jolt tears through my entire being while I kiss her back, my mind spinning from what she just admitted.
Does that mean she wants more now?
Her fingers slide into my hair and tug gently while she deepens the kiss, and fuck, I love when she touches me like that. I cup her cheek, kissing her harder, and suddenly everything shifts.
This is not what I expected tonight.
But I’ll take it.
I’ll take every fucking second she gives me.
She swings her leg over my lap until she’s straddling me fully, her pussy settling directly over my rapidly hardening cock.
Fuck.
My hands slide up her back and beneath her shirt so I can finally touch her skin properly. She’s soft and warm beneath my palms, and within seconds, my cock is rock hard under her.
She presses herself harder against me, kissing me with a frantic desperation that leaves me completely fucking dizzy. Her hips grind down onto me again, and a rough groan tears from my throat before I can stop it.
I don’t understand her at all.
One minute she’s telling me we’re ‘friends’ and the next she’s practically climbing inside my skin.
Her tongue slides against mine hungrily while she rocks herself over my erection again, and I swear I’m seconds away from completely losing control.
I need her.
Need to be inside her.
Need to feel her wrapped around me again after six fucking years of wanting her.
And she knows exactly what she’s doing to me.
That’s the worst part.
She keeps grinding against me while her fingers tighten painfully in my hair, and the sensation nearly drives me insane. I bite down gently on her bottom lip, and she moans into my mouth, the sound shooting straight through me like a fucking electric shock.
That noise breaks something inside me.
My hands slide down to her ass, and I pull her off my lap with me, laying her back onto the couch while I settle over the top of her. She instantly wraps her legs around my waist and drags me down harder against her.
Jesus Christ.
I grind into her instinctively, and she gasps beneath me. When she breaks the kiss for air, I move to her jaw and neck instead, sucking and biting softly while her fingers drag through my hair. My cock aches so badly it’s becoming painful.
If I don’t get some kind of release tonight, I might genuinely fucking die.
The way she’s kissing me, touching me, grinding against me… there’s no way she doesn’t want this too.
I move back to her mouth and kiss her deeply again while rolling my hips against her once more. She moans softly before her hands slide down from my hair to my chest.
Then she pushes gently.
I stop instantly.
Pulling back, I stare down at her while we both struggle for air.
Her eyes are bright and shining, almost happy, which only confuses me more when she pushes at me again.
I sit back onto my knees while we both pant heavily from the insane make-out session we just had, and silence stretches between us. I’m trying desperately not to drag her back underneath me and kiss her until we both forget our names.
But she wanted me to stop.
And if we hadn’t stopped then, I don’t think I could have.
“Sorry,” I whisper roughly. “Too much?”
Instead of answering, she stands from the couch and turns toward the front door.
My stomach immediately drops.
She wants me to leave.
“Right.” I stand awkwardly. “Sorry.”
I start moving toward the door when she suddenly grabs my hand.
Looking over my shoulder, I find her smirking at me.
“After kissing you like that, I can’t continue this out here.”
I nod quickly while adjusting my painfully hard cock through my jeans. “Okay, sorry. I know I pushed too far. I’ll go if you want me to—”
“Caleb.” She rolls her eyes. “Shut up and let me finish.”
Still holding my hand, she starts pulling me through the kitchen toward the hallway. “I can’t continue this out here,” she says softly while glancing back at me over her shoulder.
My pulse spikes violently.
“I want to continue it in my bedroom.”
What?
My eyes widen while my pulse explodes into overdrive, but I’m too stunned to say anything.
Laughing softly, Indi drags me down the hallway toward her bedroom, and every step feels surreal. My brain is scrambling, trying to work out whether this is some kind of test. Maybe she wants to see if I can handle this whole ‘just kissing’ arrangement without completely losing control.
If this is a test, I’m absolutely fucked.
The second we step into her room, she spins around and launches herself at me, pinning me against the wall while throwing her arms around my neck and dragging my mouth down to hers.
I grip her waist and lift her easily so I don’t have to bend down, carrying her across the room before sitting her onto the chest of drawers.
She opens her legs immediately, letting me step between them while her hands glide up my chest and beneath the shoulders of my leather jacket.
She shoves it from my body, and it drops heavily onto the floor. Then her mouth crashes back onto mine.
I kiss her hard before pulling back just enough to look at her. “Indi… is this really what you want?” I ask quietly, needing to know before this goes any further.
“Caleb…” she breathes while gripping my shirt tightly. “I want you so badly right now I can barely think straight.” Her eyes lock onto mine. “Please make love to me.”
Fuck.
It’s like hearing the one thing I’ve dreamed about for years and somehow still not quite believing it’s real.
“Really?” I ask breathlessly. “What about the whole ‘just kissing’ thing?”
Her face falls instantly, and she pulls her hands away from me. “You don’t want me?”
My brows slam together immediately. “Indi, of course I fucking want you.” I cup her face quickly. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted. I just need to know this is truly what you want because you’ve been fighting this so hard—”
“Caleb.” She smirks slightly while sliding her fingers back into my hair. “Shut up and make love to me before I change my mind.” She tugs me down to kiss her again, but I pull back one more time.
“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of,” I admit honestly. “That you’ll change your mind.”
Her expression softens, and she pulls me closer gently. “I want this,” she whispers. “I want you.”
I stare into her eyes, and this time, there’s no hesitation at all.
No fear.
No uncertainty.
Just heat. Want. Need.
And me.
“Fuck, Indi…” I rest my forehead against hers for a second. “I’ve wanted to hear you say that for so long.”
Then I kiss her again, hard and hungry.