Chapter Thirty-Nine
Caleb
I’m lying in bed, wrapped around Indi, knowing I should already be getting up.
She’s sound asleep, curled into my side, and I’m desperately trying to make this moment last as long as possible because this is the final morning I’ll wake up beside her for what is going to feel like forever for both of us.
I tighten my arms around her slightly and nuzzle into her hair, trying to memorize everything. The curve of her body against mine. The warmth of her skin. The soft little breaths she makes when she’s deeply asleep.
Being away from her is going to be torture. Absolute fucking torture.
At least I’ll have the concerts to distract me. That’s one thing to look forward to every day.
She stirs softly, then makes that tiny, sleepy moan she always makes when waking up, and my chest physically aches at the sound.
Half a year without hearing that?
That suddenly feels impossibly long.
I swallow hard and accidentally tighten my arms around her again. She slowly lifts her head and blinks up at me sleepily. “Morning, handsome,” she whispers.
“Morning, beautiful.”
She smiles softly and leans up to kiss me before pulling back again, her expression slowly shifting as reality catches up to both of us.
“Hmm,” she murmurs. “Guess this is the last time I’ll be waking up with you for a while.”
A knot forms instantly in my stomach. “Yeah,” I admit quietly. “So let’s make it count.”
I slide my hand into her hair and kiss her deeply, trying to pour every feeling I have into it. She kisses me back with the same emotion, and for a few seconds, it really does feel like we’re saying goodbye forever.
But we’re not.
This isn’t the end of us.
Not even close.
We’ve fought too hard to get here.
Eventually, I force myself to pull back because I know I’m already running late. I rest my forehead against hers and exhale shakily. “You know you’re stuck with me now, right?” I murmur.
She giggles softly. “Unfortunately.”
“Marry me?” I ask automatically.
She bursts out laughing and sits up in bed. “Caleb,” she groans. “You seriously need to stop asking me every five minutes because eventually I’m not going to know when you’re actually serious.”
I grin and sit up beside her, sliding my hand down her shoulder. “Baby, every single time I ask, I’m serious.”
She rolls her eyes dramatically. “Well, come back from the tour and ask me then.”
My eyebrows shoot up instantly. “Wait… does that mean you’ll say yes when I get back?”
She bites back a smile. “We’ll see.”
“Oh my God,” I gasp dramatically. “Progress.”
She leans over and kisses me quickly.
“One day, Indi,” I tease while gesturing down my body dramatically. “Eventually, you won’t be able to resist all this.”
She throws her head back, laughing so hard she collapses onto the mattress, clutching her stomach. “Oh my God, Caleb, you are too obsessed with yourself.”
Honestly, watching her laugh like this makes me stupidly emotional. This is how I want to remember her while I’m away. Happy, warm, and laughing at my bullshit.
I lean over her, pinning her gently beneath me while her laughter softens into quiet giggles.
“Still think I’m ridiculous?” I ask while brushing my nose against hers.
“Absolutely,” she whispers. “Mr. I’m-Too-Sexy-For-My-Shirt.”
I snort a laugh. “Right, there’s only one way to shut you up.”
“Oh yeah?” she teases. “And what’s that?”
I kiss her before she can say anything else, pressing my body against hers while my hand slides slowly over her side and up to her bare breast beneath the blankets. She moans softly against my lips, and instantly, all my self-control starts dissolving.
God, I want her.
I want to spend the entire day in this bed and forget the tour even exists.
But I can’t.
I groan quietly against her mouth before forcing myself to pull back.
She smiles, but I can already see sadness creeping back into her eyes again.
“You have to go get ready, don’t you?”
I nod reluctantly. “Yeah.”
“What time’s the Wembley show tonight?” she asks quietly.
“Nine start, but I think Staked’s on around eight.”
Her entire face lights up instantly. “My man performing at Wembley. Just like I always knew he would.”
I laugh softly. “Technically, we’re the backing band, though, so it’s not exactly how you imagined it.”
She waves her hand dismissively. “Pish posh, Caleb. You’re still performing at Wembley. That’s insane.”
I smile, watching her excitement.
“I can’t wait to see you up there.”
“I just hate that after the show I won’t get to come home with you.”
Her expression softens immediately. “I know,” she whispers. “I hate that I’ll watch you perform and then suddenly you’ll just… be gone for six months.”
“I’m coming back to you.”
“I know.”
I pull myself out of bed reluctantly and start getting dressed while she wraps her robe around herself. The room grows quieter as reality settles over us.
The joking fades.
The countdown starts feeling real.
By the time I walk into the kitchen with my bags packed, Indi’s standing at the bench pouring herself water. Her hand is shaking badly enough that it instantly twists something painfully inside me.
I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her gently against me. “It’s gonna be okay,” I whisper into her ear.
She nods quickly but doesn’t speak.
This is the part I’ve been dreading.
The goodbye.
I turn her around carefully and take the glass from her hand before pulling her tightly against me. “I’ll call you every day,” I promise. “We’ll FaceTime, text, I’ll fly home whenever there’s a break…”
Her eyes fill with tears, and my chest tightens so hard I almost feel breathless watching it happen.
“Indi,” I murmur, brushing my hand over her cheek. “Talk to me.”
Her bottom lip trembles. “I’m really gonna miss you,” she whispers brokenly.
Fuck.
I pull her into my arms and hold her tightly while she starts crying against my chest.
“Hey,” I whisper into her hair. “I thought we agreed no tears.”
“I’m sorry,” she sobs quietly.
“Don’t apologize.” I rest my cheek against the top of her head. “I’m gonna miss you just as much.”
She eventually pulls back enough to look up at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You promise you’re coming back?” she asks quietly. “You promise you won’t get caught up in touring and decide you never wanna stop?”
My heart cracks hearing the genuine fear in her voice.
“Baby…” I cup her face gently. “You seriously think I’d leave you behind?” She shrugs weakly through tears. “You’re part of me now, Indi. No amount of fame or touring is ever changing that.” I smile softly. “And when I come back, I’m probably gonna ask you to marry me again, so prepare yourself.”
She laughs wetly through her tears. “What? You gonna hold me down and force me to say vows?”
“If necessary. I’m excellent at coercion.”
That finally earns a proper smile from her.
“Well, rockstar,” she whispers while snuggling back against me. “Go have the time of your life. I’ll be here waiting when you get back. And when you do get back…” She looks up at me. “We’ll start making real plans.”
“Deal.”
I kiss her slowly, and for a second, the world completely stops moving around us.
If I could freeze this moment forever, I would.
But I can’t stay here.
And walking away from her already feels impossible.
“You have to go,” she whispers eventually.
I swallow hard and nod. “Technically, I don’t even leave the country for hours yet,” I joke weakly.
“Well then…” she says softly as she wipes her cheeks, “… you should probably stop keeping the band waiting.”
I nod again and kiss her one more time, holding onto her tightly like I can somehow delay leaving by refusing to let go.
She kisses me back with the same desperation, and somewhere deep down, I know we’re going to survive this.
We’ve already survived worse.
Eventually, she pulls back, biting her bottom lip while tears spill down her cheeks again.
I wipe them away gently with my thumbs before kissing her nose.
“You’re stuck with me, sweetheart.”
She laughs softly through the tears. “Good.”
I pull her into one final hug, and honestly, letting go of her feels physically painful.
“Go, Caleb,” she whispers shakily. “Before I can’t let you.”
A lump rises hard in my throat. I’m dangerously close to losing it myself now, but I know if I fall apart completely, she will too.
“Okay,” I say quickly. “I’ll message you when I get to the hotel, and before stage call, and after the concert, and before bed, and—”
She laughs softly. “Okay, okay. Just message me when you can.”
I kiss her again quickly before she grabs my keys from the bench and walks me to the front door, holding tightly onto my hand the entire way. The closer we get to the door, the tighter my chest feels. Like I’m walking away from the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I turn to face her one last time, and she reaches up, brushing her fingers through my hair.
“I’m gonna miss this,” she whispers.
“It’ll probably be longer by the time I get back.”
She smiles faintly. “Good. Gives me more to grab onto.” Her hand slides down to rest over my chest.
“You live right here now,” I murmur.
Another tear slips down her cheek, and I wipe it away before kissing her one final time.
Saying goodbye fucking sucks.
Eventually, she leans around me and opens the front door.
“You really do have to go now.”
I nod slowly, memorizing her face standing there in front of me.
“I’ll see you soon.”
“You better.”
I smile faintly before rubbing my thumb slowly across my bottom lip.
Her expression softens instantly.
“I love you,” she whispers.
“I love you, always.” Then I lean down, kiss her forehead, and finally force myself to walk out the door.
The second I step outside, cold emptiness slams straight into my chest. Like something vital just got ripped out of me. I turn back once more, and she gives me the saddest little smile before quietly closing the door.
I stand there on the front step staring at it for several seconds, fighting every instinct screaming at me to go back inside and hold her again.
Then I hear it…
Indi’s sobbing behind the door.